時を刻む歌

My list of top anime of all time

2011-01-18T15:56:00.001+08:00

I realised I've watched many series already so I thought I should do a little "summary" by creating a list of top animes by genre/categories. Animes on this list I strongly recommend to ANYONE, not just fans of anime. As long as you are interested in the genre you should check it out. The number beside the name is the year the anime was released.

Romance

Champion : Kimi ni Todoke (2009)
Runner-up : Clannad & Clannad After Story (2008)
Honourable mention : True Tears (2008)

Fantasy

Champion : Legend of the Legendary Heroes (2010)
Runner-up : Fate/Stay Night (2006)
Honourable mention : Scrapped Princess (2003)

Action

Champion : Durarara!! (2010)
Runner-up : High School of the Dead (2010)
Honourable mention : Nurarihyon no Mago (2010)

Horror

Champion : Elfen Lied (2004)
Runner-up : High School of the Dead (2010)
Honourable mention : Higurashi no Naku koro ni (2007)

Mystery

Champion : Monster (2004)
Runner-up : Blood+ (2005)
Honourable mention : Chaos;Head (2008)

Comedy

Champion : B Gata H Kei (2010)
Runner-up : Sora no Otoshimono & Sora no Otoshimono Forte (2009)
Honourable mention : School Rumble (2004)

Shoujo

Champion : Skip Beat! (2008)
Runner-up : Full Moon wo Sagashite (2002)
Honourable mention : Glass Mask (2005)

List is incomplete, will get around to the other genres when I have time. Genres left : Harem, Tragedy, Shounen, Sci-Fi, Drama, Supernatural, Best graphics, Best character, Best animation.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas from Morishima Senpai!!

Soon it will be the new year, and a new year begets new beginnings!

Legend of the Legendary Heroes - Review

2010-12-22T11:49:00.001+08:00

Finally done with Legend of the Legendary Heroes. While this show has a very interesting story, all 24 episodes of it was spent on the INTRODUCTION. As of now there is no news of a second season but they damn well better make one. Legend has a lot of promise in it, as despite being an introduction into the world, it was very interesting and kept me wanting to find out what is going to happen next.

So after you're done with 24 episodes, you are simply given a glimpse into a world filled with violence, prejudice, and political intrigue. This is no lame shounen show where action is the only focus. Despite that, the action sequences are pretty intense well animated. I especially like the spell effects and how menacing they look. Fits well into a show where children killing is not shun away from and decapitations are abundant. In terms of violence it comes pretty close to the likes of claymore and elfen lied.

The first season deals with establishing the world where the characters live in as well as fleshing out the MAIN driving force of the whole story. There is no conclusion at the end and you are left with many questions unanswered, but it gives you a good idea of the conflicts in the world. It also gives you a glimpse into the past of the various characters so you can understand their motivations as well as their personality. At the end of the first season, I have grown an intense liking for Ferris whose jokes at Ryner's expense were absolutely hilarious (they are 2 of the main characters).

Another thing to like about this show is there is no distinct right and wrong. As is the case in reality. This show deals with many shades of gray, such as is it right to kill if it is for survival. While usually I don't like shows that pretends to be philosophical/deep, this show as struck me as a damn close reflection of our society and I can sympathize with the actions carried out by the characters. Even the "villains".

"Hentai power.......... UNLEASH!!!!!!!"

While this show is mostly serious, humour floats to the surface every now and then. This is usually in the form of the exchange between Ryner and Ferris. They are one of the greatest comedy duos I have ever seen. In a show as serious as this, the humour is a much appreciated reprieve. Of course, when it is supposed to be serious, the show does not shoot itself in the foot by shoving in a random joke to break the tension. That would not be the right use for comic relief.

This show doesn't seem to have received much coverage/fanfare but I truly believe this show deserves attention. It is what you call a rare diamond in the rough. I strongly encourage anyone who likes a serious show, or simply a fan of fantasy to give this show a chance. Hopefully if it's popular enough there will be a second season. Actually, a second season is very likely.

9/10

Shocked...

2010-11-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

When they say ignorance is bliss, boy are they right..

Managed to gain some shocking information today and I'm still reeling from it.. Hope I can get back to normal tomorrow.

今どんな顔すればいいの？

しらなくてよかったのに。

明日普通に戻るだといいね...

AFAX

2010-11-16T16:02:00.003+08:00

More than a year hiatus already huh... Reviving this blog to practise writing in japanese.

The once a year anime festival asia held in Singapore ended on 14/11. My original intention was to go on the 13th only as the main attraction for me was Kana Hanazawa dialogue session. However, as my friends decided to go down on 14th, I decided to join them, and boy am I glad I did. I manage to get my photo taken with the beautiful -aira-!

Anyway, I am getting way ahead of myself here.

Day 1:

The marketplace was kind of boring, as there was nothing I had in mind that I wanted to buy. Saw this "Mini Stage" thingy which was not mentioned in the brochure so I was intrigued by it. The very first event on that mini stage was a photo-taking session with cosplayer KANAME!! So I read through the events to be staged on that mini-stage and lo and behold, I see a photo-taking session with -aira-! That got me SO psyched.

Went to the main stage area for a bit to check out Danny Choo's presentation. He was an entertaining fella although it was kind of insulting when he mentioned over the PA system that should he speak with a British accent Singaporeans would not understand him. But I guess it was all in good humour.

Loot for the day was CHAOS Visual Arts cards from Bushiroad which I shared with my friend. I was just waiting for time to pass so I can see the sweet Kana Hanazawa. We went to the stage area after lunch to try to snag a front row seat but it was a futile effort. We did manage to get a rather decent position for the Milky Holmes showcase. Following which some people left their seats so we snuck forward and manage to get a seat in row D. I was seat D22.

And finally the highlight of the day, KANA HANAZAWA!!! The fans went WILD cheering for her. She looks rather plain, easily like any girl you see off the streets, but her voice is like an angel (well she voiced Angel in Angel Beats). First off was a Q&A session. I can't remember most of the questions but I distinctly remember the seiyuu she respects the most is *drum rolls* AYAKO KAWASUMI!!! She then did a live dubbing of the last scene in Angel Beats where Tachibana Kanade disappears after her confession to the protagonist (Sorry I cannot remember his name). She was simply amazing in this segment. Truly, a professional seiyuu.

For fans of Black Rock Shooter, the ANIME SERIES of Black Rock Shooter was announced and would start, I think, either Winter or Spring.

At the end of her segment, there was an autograph session. 5 LUCKY persons are chosen at random to receive her autograph. I missed my chance by 2 MISERABLE seats. She called D24 which was an EMPTY seat, however, someone who happened to place his bag on it ran up to the stage to claim the prize which rightfully does not belong to him.

With that Day 1 ended for me.

Day 2:

Arrived early in the day with my friends, Dexter, Ting Jun, and Wen Pu. As soon as the gate opens, we made our way to the mini stage area in hopes to be one of the first in line to get our photos taken with the lovely cosplayer -aira-. This was my most memorable event for AFAX Heheh.

Following which we walked around looking at the booths. TJ and Dex went around taking photos with cosplayers, WP looked at the katanas, and I was shopping for a nice pillow to bring home (settled with C.C.).

After lunch we fought our way through the throngs to get to the front, near the stage, for the Regional Cosplay Championships. For the first time, I manage to hear -aira-'s voice as she provided comments on the performance. While not as nice as Kana's voice, her voice is pretty cute too.

After the Cosplay championship, TJ and Dex left the stage area while I waited for the Aira & Kaname cosplay panel. Before that was a chance to see May'N in the flesh! I only found out about her recently when I researched on Macross Frontier and found out she provided the singing voice for Galactic Fairy Sheryl Nome.

Following that was Aira & Kaname panel. The first part was Q&A session. I didn't remember most of the questions asked, but 2 questions stood out to me. First was the same for both,

Choose :
a) Cosplay a good-looking character but you don't really like this character
b) Cosplay an ugly character but you really love this character.

Both Aira and Kaname picked B with roughly the same reasons. They will get tired of putting in effort getting the costume right for a character that they have no passion for.

2nd question was for Aira. Does she mind wearing very skimpy costumes that show off alot of skin.

Her answer was, quite unsurprisingl, No. She said as long as it's faithful to the character design she would follow through as changing it would mean she's no longer faithful to the character. She then asked what do Singaporeans think of wearing clothes that revealed lots of skin.

Hint : Guys LOVE it >.<

They were then asked to demonstrate good poses to hold when taking photographs. This was the cue to the crowd to start snapping away. I wasn't near the front so unfortunately I only managed to take photos of hands. Lots of them. I had to wait for everyone in front to get their fill before I can take photos of them. By then I did not have much time to focus and take the shot. I curse my height.

After showing what you SHOULD do in a pose, they were asked to show what you SHOULD NOT do in a pose. ie a bad pose. This segment was hilarious and the crowd was laughing at the ridiculous poses that the 2 cosplayers were doing. They were demonstrating common mistakes that amateur cosplayers make.

As the segment comes to a close, 2 lucky person was given the chance to pose with them and shake their hands.

She looks ALOT like Tifa from Advent Children doesn't she?

With that, the last day of AFAX ended for me. I felt this was a really interesting event and totally worth the $30 I shelled out for it. I am looking forward to AFA 2011 and hope to see distinguished seiyuus/guests attending. Hope it will once again be held in Singapore so it would be easier for me to attend.

Sorry, won't be posting in Japanese, feeling too lazy and this post is way too lengthy for my amateur Japanese skills.

Here's some photos of Aira taken from SGcafe blog as my camera is too fail.

Retrospect : Posting

2009-04-30T09:56:00.005+08:00

These few days events seem like a blur and it feels so unreal.. And yet, I can feel God's hand in this. It seems all my worries got dispelled almost instantly. However, now more worries have settled in, but nvm, spare the details.

I'm really grateful to Him, His promise is real, He will lead you out of whatever trouble you land yourself in. I should trust more in Him. In time, I believe He will provide me with everything I need.

Anyway, I got posted to PLAB, same place as dex. NUS and NTU have both accepted me already. Now I'm just waiting for Melb uni. I need to make full use of this, God has been ever so gracious. Going to church this sunday. I hope God, through His words, can help me through these trying times.

Ytd, before book-out, was listening to radio in the office. For once I hear a relient K song on 987 fm! They were playing Be My Escape. Then suddenly tears welled up in my eyes, I dono la, Relient K songs always touch my heart. That song rly tells how God is always there for you, no matter how deep a mess you got yourself in, He is the key to solve all your problems, so we need to trust in Him. Lucky no one in camp saw hehe..

Retrospect : EMO 1

2009-04-19T20:43:00.004+08:00

This week past by quite un-eventfully. I miss school. I want to be studying again. Saturday went out wif TJ Dex and XY to watch movie at cineleisure. We wanted to watch knowing but in the end watched Fast and Furious because the there were no seats left. Sigh, nxt week then can watch Knowing. Fast and Furious was kind of... Ho-hum to me.. I think I'm just not into racing... And if i wanted to watch a show about wreckage and mayhem, transformers would be better.

Before the movie started, we went to play pool, TJ and I, XY and Dex. Quite fun la, playing wif friends haha, I think pool is just a game to socialise with buddies. I rmb last time I went with my class I was bored to tears. Not a nice thing to say but it's just what I feel.. ANyways, I sarbo TJ lose 2 games, sad.. First one we were winning by a large margin, den I accidentally hit the black ball in. ZZZ.. Last game cause we were rushing for time, movie starting soon. So I keep giving them free ball, end up lose. But, tis ok, friendly game anyway.

Sat was definitely the highlight of the week. Today I went to BPP on a mission. After that I went to Glenn's house to ka jiao him and jolene. but in the end I played on his comp for awhile den chatted wif him about army stuff. nth much, stayed there about 1 hr 30 mins. After that met my family for dinner.

Sigh, I've been feeling very tired these days. Both physically and emotionally. Mainly cause my soul is so tired that my body becomes lethargic. Sigh, I just want to lay down and rest already... 18 yet I feel like 80, waiting for death's embrace. I think my depression is setting in again... Funny how the psychiatrist can't see that I'm actually feeling depressed. I'm not supposed to feel this way, I've already talked myself into believing that time can solve problems, but I guess I'm too impatient. I keep telling myself to wait, endure this time, good things come to those who wait, yet i see around me, good things come all the time to people, why is it I can't seem to be happy...

I'm thinking of going back to church, hopefully God can help me. But I'm actually quite fustrated with Him. Sigh, oh me of little faith... Now I'm just praying He would take my life. I feel myself at a dead end again, with the walls closing in around me, sigh, I wish time would just stop. Anyway, life is so meaningless now...

Retrospect : BACK FRM PERTH

2009-04-12T13:23:00.004+08:00

I hate uploading photoes, period. Why isit so troublesome! Upload still need to link, sigh, not worth the effort considering I can't remember on which day I did what on my trip to perth.

This past 2 weeks I went out with my friends. Go to Funan to repair Dex's comp. First week people who went was WP TJ n dex. WP also needed to repair his computer, altho he did not manage to, they said they will contact him after they contact the manufacturer. TJ left us during the evening when we were walking down orchard road to meet Glenn. After which, b/c WP was rushing off to meet yvonne, we ended up eating KFC so that we can save time.

Yesterday went to Funan again to repair dexter's comp, only to find out that his motherboard has a power leakage and the only way is to replace it. So it was a wasted trip. We wanted to watch Knowing but timing sucks, and glenn was coming from east coast. sigh, change to nxt weekend watch. yesterday went to check out Astons b/c wp says the food there very nice. I think i agree, well, i didnt actually get to eat there, but judging by the throng of people waiting to enter, the food must be good. So we went kopitiam at plaza sing to eat. Following which we went to some hobby store tht sells swords. The swords are VERY COOL!!!! but they cost 300++ each. Anyways, saving up to buy frostmourne ($1244)!!! hahaha. Too bad it doesnt have the bluish glow it's supposed to have. So yesterday was an eventful day, and DARN tmr must go back to camp.

Sidenote: I TOTALLY FORGOT, saw a $1050 guitar with GREAT sound quality and very nice to play too. Darn, I considerng buying it now... ZzZ, why so EX :(

Retrospect : POP

2009-03-11T21:59:00.004+08:00

Finally PoPed.. Sigh, recently have been doing stupid stuffs and I have no idea why. My mood has also been going down, not good. I feel myself slipping into depression again..

I have no idea wad to do wif my life anymore, it just feels like nothings working. I really feel as though the world's against me and i'm rly tired of trying, i just wanna give up.

I really hate the regimentation in the army....

Retrospect : I myself am confused O.o

2009-01-31T23:01:00.004+08:00

Today's my blog creation day AND Grace's birthday! So.. Happy birthday Grace!

Okies, today damn shag (strange since i'm not in camp!). Slept at 2 am but woke up at 6 30 am. Dono why I woke up so early, damn stupid la. I slacked around at home until 10 then I headed for BPP to meet siewling. SUppose to meet her at 11 but I decided to go earlier cause... guys shouldn't make girls wait. THen when I left my house le she Smsed me say she'll be late cause she just woke up soo.. when I reached BPP I went for a walk around the area. After that when she reached we headed for Swensen for icecream. She needed to go to her friend's place so couldn't stay too long, supposed to send her there but my sis arrived early at Lot 1 so I bid farewell to her and went for lunch with my sis. Did some shopping afterwards before going home for a nap.

Woke up in the evening cause relatives came over. Father's side this time, and we ate. Got to chat with my cousin about army, learn a few stuffs, but I still don't want to go OCS/SISPEC. After that nth much else happened today. Tmr's book-in at 1745.

Retrospect : First Bookout

2009-01-25T22:51:00.003+08:00

I'm not supposed to blog about army! I don't know does it mean i cannot blog about what i feel. Craps....

Anyways, bookout feels really good, civi life is the life for me!

ANyways, i guess since i can't blog about army, there's rly nothing much to blog about, just that I LOVE SLACKING AROUND!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!

ok and HAPPY CNY PEEPS!

2009-01-08T10:49:00.001+08:00

Heading off to my new life soon. Meh.

2009-01-04T00:56:00.000+08:00

New year, new disappointments. Stop with it already..

2008-12-29T20:51:00.002+08:00

the worst thing about your friends having gfs and you don't is that you end up 80% of the time alone. I can't believe how they can ps you like you never happened. unbelievable... What's more ludicrous is that teenage romance can't be counted upon and you're likelier to have you friends with you until you're old than your current gf. Yet, you treat them like rubbish ready to be discarded. i can't understand how people's minds work. speaking from a practical point of view, it would make much more sense to be paying more attention to your friends than a fling that would not last. i shall see how long they're gonna last, and maybe laugh at them after it ends.

next time if i meet new people and they want to be friends with me, i'll make sure they are either gay or are currently not attached, otherwise i won't bother wif another friendship that is doomed to fail. seems like a big waste of time.

kind of defeats the age old saying that you can count on your friends. another saying that is utter rubbish is that it is honourable to die for your country. that is like blatant propaganda and i can't believe people actually feel like they need to defend their country, and that their death mean sth. yeah, it means another number for historians to record. we are born anarchists, everyone for themselves. it's evident everywhere in society! like anyone cares for each other without expecting a reward in any way. maybe not tangible rewards but definitely, people only help others if they see some gain in it. nobody is going to help others which puts themselves at a disadvantage. if you do you're Jesus Christ.

but that's sidetracking, i can't rly be bothered with what others want to do with their lives, i only care about what i am going to do. currently living feels like a chore, and i am looking forward to the end. cause at the end, i'll be in a better place. no wonder life is always compared with a road, because its not the road that's important, it's just a passage to get to where you want to be. the end is what's important.

"we're all guilty of the same things. we think the thoughts whether or not we see them through. and i know that i have been forgiven, and i just hope you can forgive me too."

the novelty of computer games is running out, i don't know how much longer i can keep myself distracted..

2008-12-28T23:41:00.002+08:00

"He will be strong..."

Just a week plus away from my enlistment date, so close I could taste it. Am I anxious? Nope, not at all, altho I am kind of resigned to my fate of 2 wasted years. I'll gather my insufficiencies and place them in His hands, I believe He will carry me through and yes! I shall draw my strength from Him.

Can I be free of this unreleasable sin? You're telling me that there's no hope, I'm telling you you're wrong. I throw up my hands for the impossibilities. Fustrated and tired where do I go from here? Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly. Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fears.

So.. it's been 4 years of rocky road and many a times, I nearly went headlong into a tree. I'm falling out of grace with the world. They say i've lost my midas touch what turned to gold now turns to rust. Every angle of my life covered with just another bandaid. And yet I'm here beyond shadow of a doubt that I'm never falling out of favour with you. I've been banging my head against the wall for so long it seems I've knocked it down. To experience the bittersweet. Why? Cause I struggle with forward motion. Every time I gain some ground I got to turn myself around again.

Actually, I wouldn't mind waiting forever, but the unknown is scary. Feelings are not helping either I mean, I've not known happiness for a long time already. Seems lost to me. Sigh, I'm still searching for it. And sometimes, I think, maybe I don't deserve happiness. Maybe I've done something horrible that it's no longer my privilege. But what could I have done.... Hopefully army can help me start anew, if it does I'll be grateful to it. I have to, by hook or by crook, get over this before I can move forward, procrastination is over, it's time to face the music. The consequences aren't pretty :(... It all depends how well I can take this, strength of will....

In any case, my heart can only take 1, so until I've erased the traces, I'm not ready. And it's still burning strong too, after such a long time. Almost 1/4 of my life... And I always thought I would not be able to like someone for so long... Ah well, at least now I know myself much more.

Okies, now for everyday updates!

Just back from Glenn's, Stayed over for 6 days 5 nights. That is one long time.. Haha, but was really fun!! And quite a number of people were there too. Brought my comp over so we could have LAN party. People who went were Ben, Me, Dexter, Ting Jun, Xuan Yang, Wen Pu, Cheng Yeow, and of course Glenn and George who lives there. Glenn's mom was also a good host, having so many guys over could turn the house upside down. We played into the wee hours of the morning like 6 am before sleeping. And also we talked about stuff that I can't even rmb lol, but really had a great time laughing along with them. Of course, WWP was the butt of jokes many a time. Those 6 days just flew by so quickly.. Time passes quickly when you're having fun! I learnt that fun =/= happiness. Even when I'm having fun, it seems there's a dark ominous shadow always enclosing my heart. Sometimes it can get suffocating. Guess that is what is called sorrow. Meh. If it was substantial I would gun it down! haha. Anyway, kind of sleepy now, incurred alot of sleep debt.

2008-11-26T22:47:00.002+08:00

Well, A Levels are over and I'm not exactly happy. In fact, I was happier before it was over. Life was so much more meaningful then. Everyday I would wake up thinking, yes! more stuff to study! gogo meet my expectations! So pumped up... Now I wake up and I feel soo.. listless.. Would be apt to compare my life now to a zombie. Lifeless.. heh.. anyways, prom's just around the corner and i have not gotten any stuff. too lazy to get of my bum to go shop for clothes. today went wif glenn n dex n the 4P3 peeps. Shirts costs 200+ dollars.. daylight robbery... its just a piece of cloth -_-.. Okie, so i didnt get anything n im back to square 1.

However, im not that worried. Worst come to worst, AC shirt plus jeans and i'm good to go. Only worry is that its too informal and they dun let me in.. Anyway, these past 4 years were.. crazy.. emotionally.. i've had more ups and downs than the stock market and more depressions than a malaysian road. 2 months. and i was suicidal. now i'm faced with 2 years. quite possibly a lifetime. i don't know how i'll ever survive it. and army is quite possibly the worst place you could be in to go cuckoo. you know, firearms and all. i shalt need to draw plenty of strength from God. hope God can see me through what i foresee to be the toughest challenge in my life. make it past this 2 years, and my life would be smooth sailing. relatively at least. this would most definitely be the biggest hurdle. alrightey then, i shall muster every ounce of courage i have and forge on. pray for me ya :D.

i actually made a promise to myself, post happy stuffs! no more emo-elmo stuffs. but then, that wouldnt be wad i'm feeling would it? and the purpose of a blog is to record all your feelings so years from now you can read it!! actually, its a diary, but im too lazy to write.. think.. Geog essays and GP essays.. *shudders*..

Okay then, have yet to emo, which is a good sign, afterall, its almost 2 weeks!!! YES!!! That is like... 25% through!!! as in 25% of 2 months heheh.. But I believe i'll make it through this time.. i have to... or i'll end up 6 feet under. >.<||

Okie, read from books and from shows that start every day with a positive thought. Think of all the things you are thankful for, and thank God for it. Then start your day feeling good. When bad things happen, pay not a heed to it, think of wonderful things. pretty soon it would become a habit and you'll always have good days because of the Law of Attraction. Yep, practising that now. To start, i shall post a list of things i'm thankful for.

1) Having God in my life
2) Having a stable family with good income
3) A roof over my head, a solid education
4) Being able to meet the most wonderful person in my life
5) Totally fit and all senses intact.
6) Able to experience this wonderful world God has created
7) Quite simply, God

yep, focus on the positive. well then, hope everyone has a good life! i know glenn does lol.. and rmb that nothing can get you down, unless you allow it to! so don't go blamin everyone and everything but yourself. On the other hand, do not blame yourself too much, just know it was your fault, and DO something about it.

2008-10-29T23:52:00.002+08:00

A levels is almost here GASP.. survive the first week and it's cake haha..

sigh, i nv experienced wad its like to feel burnout, and now, i feel the fringes of it oh no... I'm gonna need every ounce of strength i have, and more, from God. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! Tis the last last last lap.

"Let us run with perseverence, the race set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, author and perfecter of our faith" - Hebrews 12:2

the future may seem scary, but i believe the Lord will walk me through to the end of my days, as He will always be faithful.

"You cried wolf, the tears the soaked your fur, the bloodrip from your fangs, you said what have I done. You loved that lamb, with every sinful bone, and there you wept alone, your heart was so contrite. You said Jesus please forgive me of my crimes. Sanctify this withered heart of mine. Stay with me until my life through. And on that day, please take home with You."

Great imagery.. I think it's a rly powerful reminder of God and His love, and I always tear when I listen to this part from Deathbed.

NEways, haha hope life picks up for me.

2008-10-03T21:31:00.002+08:00

it's been really long since I last updated.. Months hahaha.. always feel too lazy to update, and my JC life isn't exactly very exciting.. well, A levels are approaching and I'm feeling the squeeze. I need my daily strength drawn from Him, and i am rly v sad that school is coming to an end..

A great deal of things have been happening around me lately, and I seem to be left out of all the festivities. Suffice to say I'm deeply saddened with the changes and I rly do feel so left out. Everyone is really moving on now and yet I still am living in yesteryears.. The reality of the A levels struck me it's true, but the reality of my friends moving on has just hit me way too hard.. Altho right now A levels is my number one concern.

Anyway lately i've been doing some manhunting. the background is that back in PAE, i left a deep regret. it was after this math lecture, and i was packing up my stuff to leave. den there was this girl who was same clan as me during orientation but we never spoke to each other. she and her friend came up to my row and stood on the side. i was sitting quite far back. i got up and went out by her direction, and as i neared her, she said "Hi". at that time i thot she was talking to someone behind me, so i did not reply at all. so i just ignored her and went down the stairs. but halfway down i decided to look back up, and there she was still standing there but she was looking straight at me. thats when i realised she was talking to me just now, but i was too embarrassed to go back up to reply, so i just went out of the LT. my regret is not that it could have been a BGR, but i feel that having the courage to come up to an absolute stranger to say Hi is very commendable, and I should not have dao-ed her.. it was just a really mean thing i did and i sure hope it did not have an adverse impact on her.. i think friendliness should be spread.

but enuff of that, i doubt i'll b able to find her again.. and then again, it would b damn awkward.. but rly, i think i'm becoming alot better as a person now. like wad was said in chapel, people grow through tribulations. i know that God would not give me a mountain too high that I cannot surmount. i just wanna fulfil the potential i have within me, whether my love life is gonna suck or not. it's the least i can do with the talents God has provided me with.

2008-06-10T21:36:00.001+08:00

Updates on Bintan OCIP coming up soon.. well, as soon as i get the photoes haha! I wanna post wif photoes :P.. Hope it would turn out fine.. Anyway, I feel so guilty for not starting my mugging plan. Shimatta!!

2008-04-26T23:02:00.002+08:00

Help! Next week is one crazy week! Monday math test, Tuesday chem test + NAPHA test, Friday SPA skill A. NOOOOO!!! Next week is really test week. Sigh..

Here I am at 11:36 trying to do my math tutorial -.-||. Amazing, usually at this time I'm either ZZZ-ing or playing my computer. SIgh, tmr must mug like crazy. And I lack the motivation to do so.. AND I'm still worried for my NAPHA, my pull-up for some reason became very crappy, my 2.4 also.. Oh and my standing broad jump. Basically everything.. I don't even know why i deproved so much. Can't believe last yr i did 7 and 11:21 respectively. Sigh.. I guess I can only make it through next week through God's grace and His strength. The icing on this cake of doom is the following monday I have (drum rolls) NS HEALTH CHECKUP! ZZZ... That's 3-4 hours down the drain to inefficient way of handling the checkup.. ZZZ.. What a great way to waste my monday.. I hate you, National Service, and I hate you, MoD. What a wonderful world it would b if there isn't NS..

Hooray, my thumb is slowly recovering! FINALLY it does not look so swollen. And got my new spectacles too! So there's still reason to rejoice in life! Ok so weird that getting a new pair of spectacles is reason to rejoice, lemme rephrase it, be joyful about the simple things in life. Like wad KSL said during geog lecture, often it's the simple things that you neglected and now lost that will make you sad. We should just enjoy our day to day moments in ACJC for this is our very last year in ACJC. Though Mrs chan said we will never truly graduate, but it's just never the same as actually being a student in ACJC. I know I will b rly sad when I graduate from ACJC. I've met some great people there, had loads of fun, and I spend more time in ACJC than at home! Yay for 2SB2 haha!

Truth be told, I wanted to make an emo post, BUT it turns out I'm not emo at all!!! Haha!!

2008-04-16T18:36:00.003+08:00

I would like to borrow strength that You could lend, to keep my head above the water and not descend back to where I said I'd never go again. I can't do it on my own strength, I'm already feeling so tired just preventing myself from being emo. I have to keep forcing myself to be happy. If I feel so tired, I can't study, sigh..

And I just wanna get mugged at knife point, to get cut enough to wake me up. Cause I know that I don't wanna die sitting around watching my life go by. And what we take from this is what we'll get but we haven't quite figured it out just yet. BEcause all of us are all too stuck, stuck to a chair watching our lives blow up.

I think I need to do something crazy. I should just live like there's no tomorrow. Haha I think I'm really cursed XD.. I know I'm capable of alot of things, if only I apply myself to it. Maybe O levels ain't a good guage haha, 9 points without studying is good I guess. Promoting with ABBCE studying 1 wk beforehand is also good I think. And I'm very sure I have a split personality HAHA! Anyway, I wish I was never born haha. And it amazes me how I can shut my mind to girls and instantly lose feelings. Cool man. Yeah, I guess its good to be an iNtuition Feeling, good inner world XD. Creative yep!! That's why I'm gonna make a breakthrough in science next time!

I don't even know what I'm typing but random thoughts that are popping inside my head. Yay, maybe I have manic depression!! Cool. I always thought what it would be like since the symptoms just seems so cool. Bipolar disorder haha. I shall not emo! Though I do not have the strength, the Lord would lend me His strength, and I believe I will not b emo!! WOots! Yay, I believe I have strong endurance. I bet other people commit suicide already! See, I'm still alive and well MUHAHAHA!!! I should congratulate myself more often, gives me morale to fight on yay. I guess girls make good friends but not partners haha. Dogs make the best partners. I shall buy a dog after my NS. And I shall leave my millions for it! And of course I'll burn the rest. I will NEVER donate money to the poor! NEVER NEVER NEVER! Cause I hate humans. They can die for all I care. It's going to be all about ME ME ME from now on. MUHAHAHA! We live in a world where individual is the most important! Lala, I feel so excited to go to uni, I wanna learn so many things. I think I'll just spend my life learning, taking degree after degree haha. So much to learn so little time.

2008-03-30T15:33:00.002+08:00

i think i know why i like Relient K songs so much, and it's cause I feel it's a reflection of my life. It has been like my inner voice, and i'm always wishing that my life would b as the song ends, since it usually ends with an inspirational message.

can you help me out with my chemistry?

they cut me deep and bled me dry until there was nothing left to bleed. And this is how I choose to live, as if I'm jumping off a cliff.
I keep trying to pick myself up and then move on. I think about the life I'll have when this fragile one is gone.

the very thing that I hate more than everything is the way I'm powerless to dictate my own moods. I've thrown away so many things that could have been much more. And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored. when I go down, I go down hard, and I take everything I've learnt and teach myself some disregard.
I've thrown away the hope I had in friendships.

What's the purpose? It feels worthless. So unwanted like I've lost all my value.
Sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all. And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all.
I spent it convincing myself the world's doing just fine without me

I don’t want nothing to hurt me. I had no idea where my head was at, but if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that? Because I just want for all of this to end
And I so hate consequences, and running from you is what my best defense is. God, don’t make me face up to this. And I so hate consequences, and running from you is what my best defense is. cause I know that I let you down, and I don’t want to deal with that.
All of my escapes have been exhausted. I thought I had a way but then I lost it. And my resistance was once much stronger and I know I can't go on like this much longer.

2008-03-24T21:36:00.002+08:00

why is it so hard to have someone to console me everytime i'm feeling down?

i do that for my friends, i always hope they would notice i'm not feeling well, at the end of the day the only consolation i got was from my dog.

i think wad i really want is recognition. and right now, i feel it coming only from my dog which is like an alterego since.. my dog is.. a plushie.. i don't know how many times i can pick myself up from the ground any longer.

why is it so unfair? i'm sympathetic to other people, and yet they don't seem to be reciprocating. why can't i just be someone else? my personality type just does not suit me. everyone i consider a close friend have cut me deeply at least once. everyone important to me have left their scar on my heart. and i'm bleeding. i'm bleeding.

i just want to fade away now. i feel it's hell on earth. rain brought joyous cheers to farmers and to me it's as though the sky is crying. the world around me is crying. trying to drown me in its sorrows. why am i so pessimistic? i used to tell myself i can make it, i just need to put in effort. now i just feel i'm a failure in everything i do. i don't even want to try anything anymore. i wish i can go skiing and have a ski accident. my emotions are like a roller coaster filled with highs and lows. bipolar.

2008-02-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

Ok, dexter's comment just put a smile to my face HA! cause it's rather odd sounding, maybe cause of the ! at the end.

Anyways, i think i shall just start with the dailies first, before the thoughts. anyways, today was an average day i guess. Mrs Chang didnt come to school cause of high fever, so sad... BUT! The bright side is we got xtra 1 hour 40 mins break!!! Hehehehe. oK, that was evil. after 1 hour 40 mins of break, was another 40 mins of break, adding up to a grand total of 2 hours 20 mins of slack time!! and i feel really guilty for not applying that time to good use. Sigh, wasted it la. Nothing much actually happened in lesson time. Although during phy practical I was emo-ing at the back of the lab. Felt so lethargic, no motivation to do anything at all. So I thought maybe I shall use muscle ache to overwrite the pain in my heart. In short: it worked. Hehe, I just stretched my leg out and applied pressure down much like a half-split. wow, the pain actually feels good!

After phy pract I sent lionel off to the bus stop b4 heading to library. The library's like a sauna la, all the air-cons spoilt and no air ventilation. Supreme heat wave. Climbed up the stairs to the study area and saw jon, becca, and jolene burying their heads in their arms. Sooo.. I went back downstairs and began hunting for a good book to read. I came across 1, "Overcoming Depression". Seemingly an interesting read, I took it and went upstairs, and set opposite jolene. Well, it was an interesting read to say the least, learnt alot about the difference between sadness and depression.

Think they rested until 3 30 b4 we headed down to test out recipe for our ice-blended coffee which we're going to sell next monday for fund-raising. Haha, the first one was too bland, but after a couple of tries, we managed to concoct something satisfying to all of us. Hope ACSians would liek it too XD. Albeit the coffee taste is not as strong as I would like it, but I would say it's good for an amateurish attempt haha.

ok here comes my thought of the day! Actually not today, my mind was kinda blank today, was ytd night but I was too lazy to post last night. What happens when you no longer understand yourself? That was what I was thinking last night. Recently so many things are happening, so many things just distracting me and clouding my senses I no longer know who am I. Identity crisis. what I thought would never happen well.. to say the least, did. well.. the youth olympic games is being hosted in singapore.. Anyway, I'm so confused I dun think I'm myself anymore. I no longer know what I'm doing, I no longer know what's my motive, heck I dun even know what I'm feeling anymore! Right now, I'm standing at a crossroad, and everyday that passes is pushing me to take one path. I still have no idea what I should do cause I've already lost sense of myself, what it means to be me. it's a scary thought thinking how ppl can change so suddenly. maybe its not quite a sudden change but an underlying change that only just surfaced when it has gained in strength. I'm not sure, I'm like a mixed person now, someone new, and yet retaining some of my past. but, my past is fighting with my present, and taht's wads causing my confusion.

anyway, i think if anyone even bothers reading, ur probably as confused as me right now after reading that haha. nvm, i think my decision now would be to continue waiting at the crossroad until i can no longer do so and am forced to choose one path. Ok, i think many of my friends who read this wun get wad I'm trying to say, but Glenn knows.

A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains.
Should I stumble again, I'm caught in your grace.

Ah.. the paradox within that line.. Figure out urself what's the paradox.. btw, this is not an attack on a christian song, in fact, its one of my fave christian songs.

I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light.
I can't remember how I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight. And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away. No I can't stand the pain.
How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes,
GOt nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life, I just want to scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming, I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge, I'm hanging by a thread, I want to start this over again.
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered and I can't explain what happened and I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life, I just want to scream, How could this happen to me

2008-02-13T20:08:00.002+08:00

Girls are evil.
I think Dogs are angels sent from heaven to keep ppl happy. To love those who are broken.
Girls are evil, they appear so friendly to you. When they find out you like them, they do a complete 180. Does it matter that much? Having someone liking you will kill you?
I've lost faith in girls already. Can they be trusted? Before you say anything, stop, think twice, thrice. She may seem very friendly with you, you think ur rather close friends, can be considered good friends. Don't let that deceive you. The moment you admit liking her, that "friendship" turns to "fiendship". Of course, the girl would argue that it's like weird to be around with a guy that likes you if you do not have feelings for him. Well, think of it another way, he's been liking that girl for some time already, it's just SECRETLY. So, nothing much will change actually, just make clear your meaning, and you can still be friends. THere's rly no need for the 180 change of heart. I might be over-generalising here. But that's the feel they give me.
Feeling rly down today, maybe cause its V-day tmr. maybe. and cause of events today too.
Sometimes I want to ask God, why put me on this earth to suffer. i don't pity those africans, they live without feeling much pain and die. they die young, they dun experience as much pain as I would have to go through. sometimes i want to ask God, why not take me home. I'm so sick of this life.

Today's crosscountry. The event was ok, i decided to run. that's about it, didnt wanna slack. prob cause lionel didnt wanna slack, so i also run wif him. throughout the whole event i was trying to find her, but instead, i found glenn's. after the run, whilst at our bags, as luck would have it, lionel spotted her, and he pointed her out to me. and, i did the most dastardly thing ever, i did not even say hi though she walked by me. even acquaintances say hi. den later on we're supposed to settle down in our houses. i wanted to stay on with glenn, but TKK members were wearing orientation shirt and i was wearing PE shirt, felt like it was too obvious i don't belong there. i saw her glancing our way. i said to glenn, i think i go find my house, and walked away. i turned around after walking a few steps, she moved in and talked to glenn. that moment, was like the sky came crashing down on me, like a kunai spearing my heart, like falling down into a deathpit, like the light in my life shutted out (how ironic she mentioned sth along these lines a few years ago). that very moment, my heart was mixed with sorrow, a sorrow so dark it makes the depression a joke, and hate. a hate of all things, a hate of myself, a hate so intense it was burning me inside out. and i kept it all inside like a covered test-tube with rubidium added to con HCl.

so who's to blame? her? sometimes i do blame her, but after more thinking, rly, the only person to blame is myself. i was too aimless when i was younger. if from primary 1, i knew what i wanted, or at least primary 4. things would be different now, maybe. but because this path is now closed, the outcome known, whilst other paths were still open and unknown, it makes sense that i should wish i had taken the other paths. that i would turn around and retrace my steps and take a different path. why can't humans travel in the 6th dimension?

and as i type this, i realise how futile complaining is. just as how futile complaining about anything to the govt is. complaining gets you nowhere. just wastes your time. and yet people still enjoy it. like a pastime. like a hobby.

psychiatrist always say, let it all out, don't keep it bottled up lest it should erupt like mount krakatoa did in 1883. anyway, this post is coming to an end, with just one last message left,

GP SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-08T21:31:00.000+08:00

The long chinese new year break is half-way over, quite sad actually, i wanted a long break, and esp since next week is a horrible weak for me. Swim PE on tuesday, Mass PE and cross country on Wednesday. Sigh, I feel horribly unfit now, stamina-wise. Too long never run already, and I'm always too lazy to go and run.

Festive seasons always make me emo, and this CNY is no exception. I wonder when will I start moving on and put the past all behind me. This year is A level year and I cannot afford to let my feelings hinder my studies. And right now that's exactly what it's doing. I hope I can prove myself in Terms and get all As. Or at least all Bs but it seems too far-fetched to me. I struggled through chem test and next monday would be Maths test. I'm not rly that worried for physics since I've been doing well for it. It's all about pulling up my grades for maths and chem. And the dreaded GP. I think I'm just not made to do GP, I am terrible at it. I think I shall just pray the A levels somehow come out one topic which I'm good at and the compre AQ is also of one topic i'm good at. If not, I'm sunk for GP. Nth much I can do about it.

2008-01-31T19:32:00.000+08:00

Today's Grace's birthday! Happy Birthday Grace :)! Also, it's the 3rd anniversary of my blog! Time sure flies, 3 years have past in a blink of an eye. This year is my final year in the Singapore education system. Though I hate it, but it's still sad that I'm about to graduate from it.

I like going to school somehow, makes me feel my time is well-used and not wasted doing pointless stuff. I shall slowly morph into a mugger, need time to get used to mugging, right now I can only go about 1 hour maximum doing my work. Short concentration span haha. I'm quite unhappy with myself again today. I still don't have the courage to say "Hi" to her even though I pass her in the hallway. Like why am I so shy? So just lost 1 chance like that. Rly want to b friendly, and not just ignore her whenver I see her. Sigh, I also lost a chance yesterday. Even aquaintances say "Hi" when they see each other. Sigh, nvm, what's done cannot be undone. Time only goes in one direction and never flows in the other way, unless u can understand and enter the 5th and 6th dimension den i nothing to say.

Sigh, feeling quite low again today.

I've made a habit of never making promises. But there you have it, now I make you one that is to keep you here with me. 'Cause every second that goes by I feel it's just a waste of time, if I'm not with you. If home is where the heart is then my home is where you are. But it's getting oh so hard to spend these days without my heart. So I'm taking you with me, anywhere that I could ever wanna be. For the rest of my life, I want you there with me. And if there ever comes a time, when I should have to leave, I hope you know that I, I'm taking you with me.

Yesterday is not quite what it could have been, as were most of all the days before. But I swear today, with every breath I'm breathing in, I'll be trying to make it so much more. 'Cause it seems I get so hung up on the history of what's gone wrong, and the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see. And though I'm finally catching onto it, and now the past is just a conduit, and there light there at the end is where I'll be. 'Cause I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up. And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of. And I'm on the up and up, and there's nothing left to prove. 'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you, a better version of me for you.

2008-01-27T14:24:00.000+08:00

Grace's birthday and my blog's 3rd anniversary is coming up soon!

I always feel like going out but nowhere to go and no one to go out with. Staying at home is too boring for me.. Sadded, the drama I'm watching now is ending in 2 episodes! Oh no, now I have nothing much to do on my computer.. Anyway, just after I watched one episode which ended with the guy saying something v touchy, I closed the window and I saw my MSN screen, and my eyes focused immediately on her nick. Strange that suddenly I felt as though a sword just plunged through my heart. Sigh, what's more I've been feeling rly down for a month already. Depression I think. In addition, my stomach has been complaining for about a week already. Everyday feel pain. My mom thinks it's cause couple of weeks ago I drank alcohol on an empty stomach and somehow damaged it. But I didn't rly drink alot either, and there are so many ppl who do that on empty stomachs. Sigh, and I dread Mass PE. Wednesdays are my most hated days now, at least until Mass PE is over. The good thing abt mass PE is that it's the only time where my mind is too exhausted to think of her. Haha. If I don't think of her, I don't feel sad and helpless. But other than that I HATE mass PE. Can't wait for Term 1 to be over and Mass PE GONE FOREVER!

Sigh nothing much to blog about, I want to go out now but nowhere and no one to go out with. And don't want to go to Queensway with WP and Glenn cause I don't like going to Queensway.

2008-01-17T22:06:00.000+08:00

i learnt sth new today, ice cream helps to stop the sorrow within your heart from exploding. Ate one whole cup of minty goodness, and after that I felt better. It's like ice cream freezes your heart so u can't feel anything, and that feeling is rly good. I know its psychological but after eating the ice-cream my heart felt so chilly and comfortable. Or the cavity that held my heart.

see, my heart is with someone else, and to quote from relient K, "It's getting so hard to spend these days without my heart". why do i feel so insecure? if i had the courage, i would walk up to you, talk to you. i am so tired of living. if ms lim ever remarks "you tired of living ah" to me, i'll answer "yes!". cause i don't lie. i'm willing to lay my life down for her.

we're all born with a purpose in life, but i rly wonder what's mine. to b sad and then die? what am i supposed to do with it? i'm not lying when i say i'm rly tired. it's nt just rly tired, it's like i've never slept for 17 years kind of tired, i just want to spend every moment sleeping. for the next 17 years. and when i wake up everything would seem like a dream. and then i'll continue with my life with her as a fragment of my dream.34 years old isn't that late to start living right? no matter how long i sleep, i just want to sleep even more. and my heart feels like it's bounded by chains with 200 tonnes weight holding it down. so down i can't lift my spirits. weird that i only weigh 52 kg considering how heavy my heart feels.

cause i was born to love you
cause i was created to love you
cause i exist to love you
cause you are all that i am
my heartbeat my breaths

they say the world revolves around the sun
but my world revolves around you
every moment, every day

there's so many adjectives in the english dictionary, and yet i can't find one that can describe my feelings. The limitation of languages, no word powerful enough to convey emotions.

2008-01-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary

I thought I would be strong, I thought I would be able to accept it, never knew it'd hurt this much. Saw her and a guy together today after school, and lionel told me the guy recently broke up with his gf, he thinks, but maybe it's not what I think, maybe they're just doing homework together. But, if they're really together, I think I feel happy for her. Yep, he's definitely a great guy, at least looks-wise, definitely better than me. I think, they're quite compatible. So, maybe, it'll help me get over her.

Dear Diary

I'll try not to let it hurt too much. But such things can't be controlled. I'm rly afraid it shows in school, rly do. I'm so afraid my eyes would start perspiring in school. I'm so tired, rly diary, I'm so tired, I just want to sleep and never wake up. Will she remember me? I remember when people asked me what I'm waiting for I used to reply for the sky to fall down. I want to lay down and wait for the sky to fall. When you're lying down, the sky seem so much nearer, so near you could stretch your hand out and touch it.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right
I hope you have the time of your life.....

2008-01-13T21:28:00.000+08:00

You are my friend
Ah, you still remember the dream we had that day don't you?
You are my dream
Ah, We'd just gotten started, you're my long lost friend
Woah, it's time to get moving

Everyday, lit up by the shine ahead
I wanna see you, light my soul on fire
But now, we've bid goodbye to the fun days
To be the future, I'll try to take over, and that's why I'll dream on

I'd go the distance
gazing at the sky so full
I am just now starting
To use my greatest power, full tilt

You are my friend
Ah, you still remember the dream we had that day don't you?
You are my dream
Ah, we just got started, you're my long lost friend
Woah, it's time to get moving

Thank you my friend
Ah, I haven't forgotten what happened that day
You are my dream
Ah, next time I'll protect you my way
Woah the distance

2008-01-09T21:15:00.000+08:00

STATUS: Debuff, all actions -2X stamina, reduce spirit to 0.

I'm getting abit sick of this blogskin, and no blogskins online that's nice enough for me to coup, so i guess i'll just have to mod this one. Sigh, just no time to do it only..

sigh, i rly wanna be hardworking this year, and yet i'm still v slack, tutorials take so long to do, and i still have holiday homework not finished!

i rly want to see how much more of this torture i can take before i finally breakdown. they say the human spirit is easily broken, how true it is. i feel half a person already.

i think emotion is the bane of people. emotion creates problems and escalates existing ones. i can't think of one benefit emotion brings. i wish i'm emotionless.. i wish i am a flirt too, then i'll feel better. i won't be holding on for so long. and i wish, i wasn't such an extreme pessimist. haven't try i think die. sigh. actually i blog cause i got nth to do on my comp sigh........

2008-01-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

suddenly my tagboard is alive again o.0...

school barely started and i'm buried knee-deep in homework (exaggeration). gosh, why am i suddenly faced with MATHS tutorial and CHEMISTRY tutorial? 2 of my least favourite subjects sigh. luckily, i'm almost done with chem, which is due tomorrow, and it's 8 43 pm on a sunday. hmm. great. nvm, i've always survived not doing hw.

felt so totally scammed today at sakae sushi (on no fault of theirs except a rather misleading BUFFET signboard outside their store).

i went with my "gf" (ahem ahem) to sakae sushi (if it ain't obvious). surprise surprise, there was a long queue outside (wait, long queues=buffet right?), since i wanted to eat sushi, so we decided to wait. when it was our turn, we went in and the waitress gave us menus. however, we began taking plates off the conveyor belts cause we thought it was buffet. after about 8 plates, i had a sneaky suspicion that there was no buffet cause... everyone else was ordering food. so i asked a nearby waiter and he said "no buffet on weekends". gosh, so we ordered 2 ramen and the bill was $43 OUCH. sigh, that's 10 dollars more than what i spend if i go to pizza hut!!!

i think i wun be touching sushis for awhile.... right now i just wanna eat korean food.... from korea of course, not SG fake-o korean food. currently watching another K-drama, Blissful Woman. the premise for watching it is... my fave actress is the lead actress :D. that's pretty much why i watched it :P. she's just soooo cute. but now, i find that the story is rather nice too, so its actually rly enjoyable to watch, what is not enjoyable is the extremely long load times. sigh, but one must feel contented that it's even available online right? sadly singpore has not imported the DVD, or maybe bcos the dubbed version is not out yet. patiently waiting for it now, and waiting for Love in Heaven price to drop, $100++ is too expensive.

felt abit bad today, cause i lashed out at my dad again. he was helping me vacuum my room but when he was vacuuming under my desk, he hit the wires too hard and my comp crashed in the midst of loading the drama, and.. i chased him out of my room. gosh feel so bad... i dono why but im always so abusive with my dad and i hate myself for doing it. ok, my aim this year is to be more patient when i'm on my comp, since my mom has always pointed out when i'm playing games my temper gets realllllyyyyy short. kinda weird to me cause my temper has always been reeeaaallllyyyy good and it's not easy to make me angry. just irritated sure but not angry. on a sidenote i hate smiling at people i detest, yeah, u know who u are if i smile at you XD XD. joking.. but ya, i hate smiling at people i detest. annnddd, i hate smiling though i feel absolutely rotten inside. which is most of e time rly.. was talking with glenn abit two days ago, and he said he thinks i have depression. possibly, i think i have depression too, but i don't wanna see a psychologist (irony!! i wanna be one!).

i fell sick on the first day of school and hence skipped it. and now, i'm still recovering from it. everytime my mom brings medicine to me, i can't help but think to myself, it's not my body that needs it, it's my heart. why aren't there medicine that heals the heart? like why can't i cast repairo and my broken heart becomes anew again? i still don't know how long would it be before i can remove myself from the shadow of her memory. there isn't a moment when i'm not thinking of her save when i'm playing my comp. which is actually the reason i keep playing my comp, it acts as a repressive drug, it numbs me and stops me from thinking about her. i wish science can develop a drug that causes selective amnesia, wouldn't it be nice?

2008-01-01T01:01:00.000+08:00

Ah, the first post of the new year, we've grown yet another year and it's a fresh start once again.

Sigh, new years always make me emo. I don't like reflecting, because reflecting means to look back on oneself and think of what you've done, however, every time I look back at myself, inevitably I'll think of the future, which to be honest, would be almost identical to the past. I haven't changed much. I've witnessed changes in the people around me, some rather drastically, others more subtly. I still feel the same old me, the me from sec 3 looking at the posting results after streaming, the me from sec 3 rushing home after the last bell, the me from sec 4 during the musical, the me from sec 4 slacking b4 the O levels, the me in PJC during PAE, the me mugging 1 wk b4 the Promos, in other words, if it isnt obvious enough, I didn't change.

There's a saying, when you're young, you can't wait to be an adult, when you're middle age, you are too busy to even care, when you're old, you start living on your memories of the past. Already I feel myself dwelling in times long gone, I don't have anything to look forward to and every day just seems like what it is literally, a day. I feel I lack the zest for life, I don't even feel like I'm living. It's more of existing. You live with an aim in life, be it to top your school, to go to a certain prestigious university, you need a goal in life. I don't even have 1, or rather, the goal I have is unattainable. Pretty much means I have no aim in life (Hence the feeling of existence).

I dun understand myself. I know I should not like her, yet I am still in love with her, I know there would not be any outcome, and yet I cannot erase her from my memory. Do you, any of you, even understand the bitterness and pain that's within my heart? I doubt so, not anyone I know, can even imagine the emotional pain I went through. You don't know what it's like to cry for hours on end. You don't know what it's like to wake up in the night sobbing your heart out. You don't know what it's like to lose faith in life. If only, you could be me for one day, just one, and feel just what I am going through, maybe I'll feel better, at least someone can empathise with me. Inevitably, some of you may think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, come on, I'm just 17 right? Why make it sound like the end of the world? It's just a crush, you'll get over it, it's only temporary, it's only puppy love. If you even have thoughts like these, you don't know me, you absolutely don't know me. Science have proven Passion phase of love, meaning CRUSHES and puppy loves only lasts up to 2 years. Well, 3 years have passed and into the 4th. My feelings for her have not lessened. I still feel the same emotional trauma I felt in sec 2. I keep trying to convince myself, that I'll be fine being alone, that I'll be fine not having a life partner, that it's totally alright to die a bachelor, but I just can't help but feel rly disheartened and everytime I think of it, nvm..

I once had an absurd thought, since IQ is a measure of brain age over actual age, could it be that my IQ is so high that my brain is like that of a 28 year old man. Well, that's absurd, of course.

My heart, I'm rly sorry, I'm rly sorry, it's still going to hurt somemore. Maybe after crying, I'll feel better. I finally realise, the only person to wipe my tears, would only be myself. Even though it's going to hurt even more, I need to, I must leave you. When you're by someone else's side, could you think of me sometimes? You have always been on my mind in every waking moment.

It's going to be another long night... I'm rly need someone now...

2007-12-29T16:26:00.001+08:00

i really need someone to console me now...

2007-12-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

At last I look up at the overcast sky
And realise the only person around
To wipe my tears is myself

Now, it's better already
At least I can hate you.
I finally realise that
In the end, I'm still alone.

Sorry, sorry my heart
You will hurt a little.
I'll just cry awhile,
I'll feel better after crying.

I'm at a loss, I don't want, I don't want.
I need to hate you
It's too painful, too painful.
This period of grief you caused me,
I'll hate you to the core.

2007-12-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

No matter how I try to erase you over and over
My heart only searches for you
I'm only left with the wound that was made because
My heart ached and ached

No matter how I try to erase you over andover
The only person that doesn't disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don't?
Tell me why you tried to leave my side

No matter how I try to throw away those memories over and over
I can't
No matter how I try hard to forget you
My eyes only remember you

Can you think of me?
At least once by someone else's side
Even if you live on
Think of me sometimes

I must have really loved you
It shows through my yearning
When I looked at you leaving though you knew I love you
It was only that I forgot for a while so come back

Come back to me
I can't live without you
I still have something I want to say
No matter how I try to send you away

I don't have the confidence to
THese feelings, my feelings, do you know them
Even if you love someone else
My heart only moves towards you

At least once by someone else's side
Even if you live on
Think of me sometimes
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
My heart only searches for you
I'm only left with the wound that was made because
My heart ached and ached

No matter how I try to erase you over and over
The only person that doesn't disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don't
I must have really loved you
It shows through my yearning
When I looked at you leaving though you knew I love you
It was only that I forgot for a while so come back
Come back to me
I can't live without you
I still have something I want to say..

2007-11-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, out of the blue, I feel like doing a bioshock review. Sry if I'm rather vague since its been months since I've played it.

SPOILER ALERT!!!! Fanboys of bioshock, you will not like this review, you have been warned.

Ok, the game definitely impressed me at the start. Your plane crashes into the ocean in the middle of the night, and you are the only survivor. The game instantly shows you what it does best, water effects. And believe me, the water is GORGEOUS. It really makes you feel like jumping into it. Ok, water aside, you are supposed to swim to this island with a weird looking observatory. Once inside, the door shuts behind you and it's pitch black. Lights switch on and the first thing you see is "No Government, No God, Only Man". Scary huh. You then have to climb into a bathysphere where you are treated to a video about Rapture and you get to see the city from the outside, reminiscence of the tram ride in Half Life and Half Life 2.

Welcome to Rapture

You dock, and the game decides to scare you by showing you your first splicer killing its victim. Splicers are humans that have gone deranged due to genetic modification, and they look disgusting. So the devs decide to scare you by making it jump onto your bathysphere and proceed to cut it open. I was kinda afraid that it would get in since I have no weapon and I thought the game would start with a chase sequence. Luckily, that is not the case, anyway, you are quickly given your first weapon, the wrench (IMO, best weapon in the game). Den you get to beat the crap out of your first splicer. Next you are given your first much hyped plasmid, the electroshock or whatever. The game then teaches you the one-two punch, which is shock, and whack using your wrench. About 1 hour into the game you'll learn that apart from the fanciful effects of plasmids, there is absolutely NO use of them.

Medical Pavillion

You meet your first Big Daddy Little Sister pair, the cover picture for the game. The game makes it weaker of course, since its your first, then comes the much hyped moral dilemma, to kill or save the little sister. I chose kill of course, and the screen turns green with some weird bug sounds and when the screen clears you are holding some sluglike thing. Man, if it's even supposed to be a moral dilemma at least make the person feel bad for killing the girl!!!! Killing the little sisters net you Adam, which is the currency to upgrade yourself, which IMO, is utterly useless anyway, you just need to max out your health upgrade and that's it. Of course i totally enjoyed the first 3 hours of the game, when the guns were STILL USEFUL. After Arcadia I realised how weak guns were. I headshot them, WTH they are still alive! Nvm, another headshot, OMG THEY ARE STILL KICKING! Ok seriously its pissing me off, One more headshot, finally that splicer drops. JEEZ! I decide to go berserk and switched to my wrench. Guess what? I ran up to the splicer and whack him, and he dies! 1 hit! My point? Guns are just there for show, the wrench is all you need. Rly, and the rest 8 hours of the game I used the wrench and sprinted through the level clobbering everyone I see. Like why make a SHOOTER when the melee weapon owns the guns. The game decidedly got less and less creepy and even comical! hey, this is the game that's supposed to scare the gajeebers out of me. It even scared the PCGamer reviewer! It barely even made me flinch as I sprinted methodically through the game clobbering every goofy splicer I see.

Before long, you FINALLY confront the guy who has caused you to trudge through the rather repetitive levels killing rather repetitive enemies using the rather repetitive kill formula. Andrew Ryan. Oh boy! It's finally ending! I was expecting a tough boss fight. I inched my way to his room. Cutscene. Bla bla bla. "Would you kindly". Ok, so when am I going to fight him? The cutscene takes a twist, I'm given a golf bat and I can't control myself, I start beating him up and when the cutscene ends and I've gained control, he's dead. Er? Boss fight? Amazing, the game was easy up to now and they just made the boss so lame. Atlas screams into the radio, STOP THE BLAST SEQUENCE!!!! Fine anything to end this game... I sprinted to the controls and turned off the blast sequence. Good riddance. Oh, now Atlas reveals himself to be the true baddy, Fontaine. Great, how much more must I put up with? after a few more hours of mindless wrenching mindless splicers, I reached the FINAL boss, Fontaine. Wooooo, I was sooooo ready for a good fight. I planted mines at his seat and activated the cinematic. He jumps out..... and appears back at his seat. WTH? Omg, the game scared me for the first time, is it a bug? Dun tell me I must play through the parts I've just trudged through again! Oh wait, no, my mines were so powerful that he killed himself leaping onto them. Amazing. Wads more amazing I must fight him 3 times. The last 2 fights was equally boring. I just used the chemical thrower and repeatedly shocked him with it until he dies. Sigh LAME. And this game is supposed to be the Game of the Year? Really, if it is then I cannot imagine the other games.

After playing through Bioshock, I figured it has 1 pitfall that utterly made it boring for me.

Ans: The Wrench.

It's too overpowered, plus the upgrades you get for it pretty much makes your other weapons look like toy guns. Those who have unfortunately purchased bioshock, play it through again but this time, Fill up your combat tonics with wrench jockeys. You'll be amazed at how easily you can kill a BIg Daddy with your wrench. Equipping the wrench makes all the enemies lame, and also it takes out the scare since you just charge through the level whacking everything u see. where's the fun in that? And if you decide to use guns it annoys the heck out of you because the guns are just so weak u suspect if its firing pellets instead of bullets! Sigh, I feel so cheated by the reviews from PCGamer and IGN. For those of you seeking a better shooter, I suggest Call of Duty 4 and Crysis. They are definitely aeons better.

Sigh, feeling v sad that I can't go South Korea. No more air tickets. Sigh...

2007-11-11T10:23:00.000+08:00

Some of you may notice i was, like derek, mysteriously missing for the past 2-3 days. Well it's because I went to his Class chalet!!! LMAO no la, I got better things to do than that.

Well I was not online because I had been watching a Korean drama from morning I wake up to 2 am when I sleep. 85 episodes. This drama was sort of like a wake-up call to me. I just cried out all my sorrows whilst watching it because I really felt for the characters as well as identify with them. (Of course, this is when my mom fell asleep on the sofa :p).

The drama made me think that I should do more with my life. It also made me feel like starting my own family next time. I mean, I never gave it much thought. It also made me have a clearer state of mind, there are many girls out there, there are definitely others who can make me fall in love with her. Though I have not met any, I think I should not seal my heart but instead be open. I mean, anything can happen, just leave it all to fate. If you're destined to be with someone, not even the 7 oceans can seperate you, no mountain can block your way. So I guess I'll just leave it all to fate. If I'm rly destined to be with her, well, then that would be great, but if not, then I should not just stay at one spot, since it would be futile, so I'm just wasting my life.

Also, I feel that I should not be playing my comp so much. Thinking if I should continue playing WoW since it's eating up alot of my time.

lao(3) tian(1) ye(2), gei(3) wo(3) ai(4) ba(4)

2007-11-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

Another emo post lol...

Oook.. This feels so deja vu. Like it's 14 all over again. Thinx only Jaye knows what I'm talking abt. Sigh, so no mood to do anything now. So what happened, I guess when u took a right turn and I took a left turn and now we're in parallel. Sigh, and I'm stargazing all of a sudden. What's wrong with that? Astro do it all the time. I don't know, cept it bothers me alot. I start thinking of weirdish stuff that makes no sense and by the second gets more and more irrelevant. It's like I have a trojan in my system that's opening lots and lots of pointless programmes just to screw with me.

I think feelings are the bane of life. True that it's the colour of a painting but a bad colouring can ruin a perfectly drawn picture. I think you can tell how screwed up my state of mind is just by reading what I'm typing, I don't even know if I'm making rational statements or just gibberish. I think I've reached "Nirvana" where fantasy and reality is merged and now I can't tell what is real and what isn't. Surreal is not the word I'm looking for. It's like walking on the line between dream and reality. FOr WC3 players, that's sth like the Emerald Dream. For layman, I guess u can say its like treading the line between life and death.

..... I can't stop myself from stargazing .....

Maybe because beyond the stars I will see heaven. Where dream becomes reality. I just want to ditch this shithole and climb out of the nightsoil. Most of the time, I'm just thinking, why can't I be someone else. Why do I have to be me and why do other ppl get to be themselves.

2007-11-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

So, I've made up my mind
I will pretend to leave this world behind
And in the end you'll know that I've lied
To get your attention
I'm faking my own suicide

I'm faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just haven't realised

I'm faking my own suicide
They'll hold a double funeral
Because a part of you will die
Along with me

I wish you thought that I was dead
So rather than me you'd be depressed instead
And before arriving at my grave
You'd come to the conclusion
You'd love me all your days
But it's too late
Too late for you to say

Because I'm faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just haven't realised

Oh, I'm faking my own suicide
They'll hold a double funeral
Because a part of you'll die
Along with me

I'll write you a letter that you'll keep
Reminding you your love for me is more than six feet deep
You say aloud that you would have been my wife
Right about that time is when I come back to life
And let you know
I'd let you know
That all along I was faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just never realised

I was faking my own suicide
I'll walk into that room and see your eyes opened so wide
Opened so wide
Because you know

Because you know you will never leave my side
Until the day that I die for the first time
And we'll laugh, yeah we'll laugh
And we will cry
So overjoyed with our love that's so alive
Our love is so alive

2007-10-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here
HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction

Aperture Science
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying until you run out of cake
Now when the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart
And killed me

And torn into pieces
And threw every piece into a fire
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you

Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of BETA we're releasing on time
So I'm glad I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive

Go ahead and leave me
I think I'd prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
Maybe Black Mesa

That was a joke, Haha, Fat chance
Anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
Look at me still talking when there's science to do
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you

I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

Believe me I'm still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive
While you're dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I'll be still alive
Still alive, still alive.

2007-10-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

Was talking to my mom just now while on the way home.

She seems to know somehow my heart has been broken by a girl, so she was like telling me not to keep everything in and tell her about it. Den she said sometimes young people like to make a mountain out of a molehill. Which is true la, cause we lack real life experience. Den I told her when one door closes another door opens, so she asked me which door has opened in my heart.

Then I thought, actually, no door has opened in my heart, ever since Sec 2 I have shut out all other girls. As in not willing to get romantically involved. So I think she was hinting me not to give up on girls, which is kind of ironic, since she doesn't want me to get into a relationship just yet. Well it's true, I have always been a pessimist, I never look at things in a good way. I think its some childhood trauma haha. However, even if I should remain single all my life, I will never regret meeting her. I learnt that I will not always get what I want, and I also realised I have a rly good sister always standing by me. Not only that, my bond with my computer has also strengthened to the point I can play the whole day without feeling my day is wasted. I dun think that is a bad thing bcos through her, I realised that every day pleasures are rly just all I need, and it's all I ever want, and the best part is, I already have it. So, girls, sex, relationships, kids, romance, they can all step aside. My #1 priority now is to have a fun and full life no matter how short it is. I don't think I should be doing stuffs that irk me or to prolong my life only to make myself suffer longer. Rly, life is all about having fun. Example, why get so worried about what you eat, if ur just eating stuffs u don't like to live longer, why bother? Just eat all u want! And the ideal case of course is not to live your life based on the expectations of another. Does it rly matter how others look at you? Actually it does, if u intend to integrate wif society. But rly, if I'm some rich ass, I wun even give a damn about how I look and just hide in my house. At the end of the road, when you die, you should look back and feel that warm glow within that you rly had fun throughout your life, and the saddest thing that should happen is that u realise after having a long life that you did not enjoy it the way you should have.

Ok linking back, while it would be great if she accepted me, trust me, I'll even stop playing my computer, I know that would never happen. She's too good for me and I acknowledge that so I wun make any move, unless I'm crazy of course. Eh my thoughts are so incoherent now cause I just left off to play TF2 and now I lost my train of thought. The train went up the ferry and went far far away. Feel Soooo dizzy now, aftereffects of playing too much scout! Ok, since I forgot what I was thinking, I shall just end this post. Man, it sucks to leave things done half-way.

2007-10-05T18:25:00.000+08:00

The deadly promotional exam is finally OVER! I think I shall analyse the papers. For those who don't want unpleasant memories to come back, then don't read on.

First day of promos was GP and Chinese. Talk about bad planning. 6 hours exam total. Writing marathon. I thought I was screwed for GP since I'm totally horrid at writing argumentative/debative essays. Also, I am an extremist, and that's not the worst, I have unconventional views. How unconventional? SO unconventional u have to walk the entire earth to find one person like me, and that's me. Ya, so those who take GP can see how unsuited I am for GP, and I dun like lying either, so I will just tell the teacher straight to the face (figuratively, since he/she will be reading it) what I feel. Ok CHinese. I nv felt any pressure in taking chinese, I guess its the BPian gift haha. Surprisingly, I survived GP, I think I can pass. Yeah, that's all that matters, PASS!!!!

Second day of exams, Physics plus GEOG!!! Physics is the one I have most confidence in, MOST probably pass, maybe can get A, not sure. Geog, Wah I rly pray its a pass, I nv prepare sufficiently. Human geog I know nuts.. Den KSL say dono anything draw some pictures, he will give marks. WOots I took his word and drew a few pictures. Glenn that selfish guy dun wanna teach us how to draw that retarded bird that attracted KSL. SELFISH! Second day was still OK.

Third day is the worst... MATHS ARGH. Though I did the practise papers, I still could not do the paper! What is the department thinking, setting such a tough paper. Compared to 2006, this is like 3 times harder... This paper, i'm confident in not passing. I rly hope there's moderation, otherwise the 2nd H2 I'm banking on is KAPUT.

4th Day, My morale was so low I was just willing the paper to be over. Also, I gave up on chemistry. SO I was just hoping the qns that come out I can do. Well, I was partially right, I think I did enuff to pass!!! WOOTS!!! I pulled through cause at the start of the paper, Ms Zhu came to my desk and talked to me! Gave me inspiration to do my chem properly! Ok that was utter crap haha, she was just telling me not to draw on my cover page. Ahhh what to do, the artist within me is just screaming to be released. Con artist that is. HAHA!! SPeaking of con artist, My fave role in TF2 is the SPY!!! Woots! Managed a team wipe today wahahha, sneaked to their backs and BACKSTABBED THE WHOLE TEAM!!! MUHAHAHA.

Sigh promos is just too traumatising, need to recuperate now...

2007-10-01T18:40:00.001+08:00

Just a really really short post, doesn't matter if you read it or not.

Pray I can pass my promos and promote! 3 more days! Gambatte!

2007-08-24T17:43:00.000+08:00

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO JUDGE ME BASED ON WHAT LITTLE YOU KNOW OF ME

you have barely scratched the surface of knowing me, don't try to criticize me. If you know me at least 50%, I will still listen and reflect, because it shows you have substance. Like in GP, u need CONCRETE examples and KNOWLEDGE of the subject. I can tell you, you dun even know 10% of me. No one even knows 50% of me. I can tell you that. What anyone knows of me, is what I pretend to be. Even if u read my blog and remember EVERYTHING i post, u will still not know 50% of me.

ONLY MY SIS IS ALLOWED TO COMMENT ON ME

even my parents don't know me well, so don't try, seriously, don't try.

on a side note, u said im not civic minded. To those who have been reading my blog for at least a year, and roughly rmb wad i wrote, i mentioned i am TRYING TO BE EVIL AND SELFISH. Yes, meaning, I DON'T WANT TO BE CIVIC MINDED.

Those who read for 2 years, know I posted that my friends do not appreciate what I do for them. I AM BEING A FUCKING FOOLISH NICE GUY AND FOR FUCK? ALL OF YOU CAN GO AND FUCKING KICK THE BUCKET!

So DON'T tell me about me WITHOUT KNOWING the backstory. BTW, I DON't GO AROUND COMMENTING ON PEOPLE AND CRITICIZING THEM UNLESS I KNOW THEM WELL ENOUGH. I only say such stuffs in jest, and actually, i'm not a very funny guy. I dun even like telling jokes. I dun like smiling. I dun like laughing. I just want to be LEFT ON MY OWN! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY COMPUTER DAMN IT!

I know in this world we have to do stuffs we don't like. I smile. I laugh. I socialize. These are stuffs I DON'T LIKE AT ALL. I won't die of loneliness by being cooped up at home. As long as I have my comp.

And if u ask abt girlfrens and wives, I can tell u surely, THEY ARE WHITE ELEPHANTS. I don't need them. I don't want them. And I know this sounds v contrary to most of my posts, but I have this principle that I will only truely love one person. Since that love is used up, I shall just be alone. Ok, I hate being alone. But I RATHER BE ALONE THAN BE WITH HUMANS. DISGUSTING SHIT. I only want to be with animals. And all you people of this world should be ashamed of yourselves. My pet has better moral values than all of you added up. My point being, DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHERS UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOURSELF! You are not even a saint, so DON'T CHANGE OTHERS!

Ok, there ends my rant and my post. Don't tresspass me. Ever. Again.

2007-08-21T18:06:00.000+08:00

I tried to convince myself that I no longer have feelings for you. I thought I had succeeded, but how wrong I was. Walked past you this morning, saw you glancing my way. I don't know if it was imagined or you did glance my way. In that instance my heart skipped a beat. That horrible feeling like the ground beneath your feet suddenly gave way and you're falling. This shouldn't happen. This should be 2 years ago and last year stuff. I think I can't lie about my feelings. They are still there and I know it. The shyness is still there, I still get fidgety when I see you, whether you saw me or not. I try to ignore you but this constant nagging thought keeps forcing me to look towards you. You did a reverse polarity in my life once, and I'm still reeling at its effect.

I'm weird. Everytime I see you online, I want to talk to you, yet I don't know what to say. I would open the chat window, and stare at the frosted glass, willing words to appear miraculously. In the end, the only thing I see is the background and that ominous flashing line, as though challenging me to type something.

I know you have your own life and I really should be going on with mine, leave the past behind me. Believe me, I tried that. Just blindly forge on, feeling my way as I round every bend. Everytime I imagine you with another guy, I get this... feeling.. Not jealousy.. Rather, this tsunami of grief and regret. I still try to laugh, smile, be a total ass, yet behind this paper-thin facade, I'm just breaking apart. Sometimes I feel so alone, like there's no one in this world but me, empty streets, empty buildings, empty sky, an empty world. I can't describe that gloominess that stills my heart everytime that happens. Like watching a movie in black and white, with still images of broken windows, bare trees, and the wind picking up leaves from the ground and tossing them in the air. The shutters of the windows bang ominously everytime I see you. The skipped beat of my heart like a sudden flash of lightning that disturbs the grey stillness of the picture.

Everyone seems to be moving on with their lives, only I'm stagnating in this mire. I try to lift my leg, the pitch black tar-looking substance holds me to my position as I watch the backs of my peers. Your back. The harder I struggle the deeper I sink, so all I can do is just stay there and wait.

What really is the true meaning of bliss? Haven't felt that in a long time. Haven't had the feeling that everything in my life is going smoothly, the feeling that life is a bed of roses. And then I try to console myself, 99.9% of people do not get their first love. And I thought, why can't I be that 0.1%?

Then I thought to myself, does it have anything to do with my attitude? If I had been more aggressive, would the outcome be any different? Given the circumstance, I think not, it will probably achieve the effect of making you dislike me even more. To the point of avoidance. Though sometimes I can't disagree that you are avoiding me. Or it could be pure imagination. I'm full of it. When life isn't what you expect it to be, you turn to your imagination to create one that is what you wanted it to be. In this sense, I think I'm blessed to have a mind capable of rendering 3D images and not just still images but motion picture and the ability to shut out reality all in the whim. Simply put, I can stone anywhere I want anytime I want and just live my life in my imagination. Wouldn't it be nice?

2007-07-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

Proved derek wrong by not blogging abt HP7 after I read it!! Haha, Anyways, ppl should go watch THE SIMPSONS MOVIE!!! It's like many spoofs thrown into one movie. You will certainly recognize a go at Al Gore, Green Day, TItanic to name a few. And also WHO'S THAT NAKED BOY SKATING THROUGH TOWN?! Haha, that was classic man...

Oooooooook. Today went to play street soccer wif my classmates. Current classmates. Ah, ok lar, I think, cept i got 2 injuries on my right leg. First one was due to *****. I kicked the ball, he kicked my right leg. Don't know what kind of injury I sustained, but it's so damn painful I can't walk properly. Soooo.. I just sat in front of my comp after I got home. Annnd, the second one not so bad la, just broke my toe nail cos I hit the ball on it. Man, I couldn't go for CIP today because of my injury. Toenail broke nvm one, since it happens to me everytime i play soccer. But the muscle one is pissing me off. I can't even stand without wincing at the pain. Game. My mom suggested going for X-ray, but I'm too lazy to go to the hospital. If tomorrow the pain is better I will go for my 04 class outing. But if it gets worse or stays the same, its staying at home again... I think 1 wk without PE liao.... SIgh... Maybe pon school on monday also, if the pain worsens, use monday go hospital haha. Annnd, prob gonna pang seh lionel on wednesday again for squash training.

Sigh, so much to do so little time... July flew past just like that. Need to shift to gear 2 for my revision already. Got 1 year of work that needs revising haha.

2007-07-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

My first post for July!!!! WOOTS!!! Just felt too bored to blog nowadays (weird, since if I'm bored I should blog!)

Well, then, I shall start with the class CIP. Basically, we went to this children's home, which looks like a rich children's home. Plus, it was situated in prime area. Wooo... Ok, so our jobs? Nope, nothing to do with the children (irony right?), instead, we were to WEED their garden. Woah. Sweet. Well, we were split into 2 groups, one in charge of the entrance, the other the vegetable plot. Hehe, me glenn gx lionel jonathan and tian ge were the vege plot ppl. Tiange left us half-way, so we had to make do with 5 ppl. But Tiange left a legacy. More on that later. Suffice to say, digging holes in the soil with spades to remove the weed roots was fun. For 30-45 minutes maybe. After that, it gets repetitive. Dig, Pull, Toss, Rinse and Repeat. There is some weird satisfaction derived when we see the vegetable plot barren. Yes, after removing the weeds, it becomes barren. However, there is also some (understatement) irritation when we realised we could not eliminate ALL the weeds, they were NEVERENDING! Now, back to the legacy Tian Ge left us. It was............ Drum roll....... A hoe. Not mrs hoe or her 2 gymnast sons. But a gardening hoe. So, what's a hoe used for you may ask. Well, its a WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION MWAHAHAHAHA. to weeds that is. Gardening 101, if you get pissed with green stuffs, destroy them by smashing them and tossing the soil and basically rip them to shreds. Now, that is the hoe's job. Private Glenn was charged with carrying the Big Daddy of all spades, the massive what, 5-10 kilos hoe? Well, what happened next was gory. Down went the hoe into the soil. A clean cut. No devastation yet, save for the weeds that happened to be in the way. Like how crocodiles do the death roll, well not rly a roll in this case, more like a drag or pull. Whatever. After getting the hoe into the soil, the next step was to haul it towards yourself, pulling up any weeds and stones and what have you. Then, we bent down and cleared the corpses of the weeds. It was fun doing this, but after awhile, it got boring again. SO, we got abit slacky. We just hoed the ground, flipped the soil, and buried the weeds. Neat. And so our vege plot was WEEDED.

Hehe, now we proceed to the entrance. Here's where the mass destruction begins. We weren't briefed on what to remove, and what not to. Sooooo, we were a couple of greenhorns. That isn't so bad, not until you see one greenhorn, private glenn, with the Weapon of Mass Destruction aka the Hoe. LET ER RIP!!!! well, not exactly, we were pretty docile at first, inspecting the battlefield and what the others had wrought. Our astute analysis was that things were proceeding too slowly. Hence, we got down to work in Operation "Anything that is green is gone". Our first mistake, we destroyed one shrub with flowers. I would have to claim responsibility on that, since I was the one who suggested pulling the whole thing out. But, I didn't see the flowers. The flowers were like what, 2 mm in diameter? Besides, that shrub was bear. The first casualty in the war. soooo, the girls made alot of noise about us pulling out that shrub, so we just stuck to pulling out miserable weeds. And grass. Den, one of them complained that a tree was irritating her because it stuck out like a sore thumb and keeps poking her. I took a look at that tree, and once again, deduced the tree was dead. How I know? THere weren't any leaves and the branch was grey. So, we pulled it out, root and all. We pulled.... and pulled... and pulled.. and pulled... and pulled... AND finally the roots all came out. It was SOOOO LONG!!! And it coiled up like a spring. Once again, the girls made alot of noise and insisted it was living. Amazing. So now we are "traumatised" by our insensitive destruction, so we headed for greener pastures. Time to WRECK HAVOC!! Again, the hoe does its job perfectly, destroying everything there, even a maggot. Not exactly, but glenn nearly cleaved the maggot into 2. He did dent it of course. Which is weird, since the maggot isnt made of metal so how can it get dented? Well, it sure looked dented, its body was like seperated into 2 halves with a depression in the middle, and it looked like it was squirming. Everyone gathered round. GX suggested euthanasia, putting it out of its misery. And so he held the spade above the maggot like the sword of damocles. Due to vehement protests, GX decided to spare the worm. What we did next was utterly stupid. We transported the maggot to another spot under a nice tree. Well, needless to say, the defenceless maggot became bird food. After we joined in the fray, things proceeded much faster :), thanks to mindless hoeing. At 5, everything was finished. We took a step back and admired our job. I can't decide which looks better. Before Hurricane 1SB2 got to it, or after. Before, it was one soothing patch of green. After, it was an accurate representitive of a wasteland, dotted with some shrubs left standing after the Hurricane uprooted anything green and isn't above ankle height. Brown patches of soil stood out. At least they can plant new stuffs now.

After our backbreaking labour, we went to adam road food court or sth like that to eat. There is this famous Nasi Lemak store there that glenn n lionel kept raving about. However, being a food critic, I was skeptical. I ordered what they had and bit into the food that was supposedly so good the Sultan came to eat it. My conclusion is that it was ordinary. Not disgusting or inedible but certainly not fantastic. Definitely not worth my travel time to eat it. On a side note, I preferred the Starfruit juice that I ordered. After having our dinner, we went to island dreaming I think to eat ice cream. Most of my classmates were crazy about the chocolate and were trying to snatch it, I on the other hand found pleasure in the teh tarik flavour haha. I felt it was much more soothing to the tongue and didnt taste as thick. After eating we settled down for a bit of photo taking and some games. Lionel and glenn played DJMax2 while the rest of us played Bluff. I won of course, being a natural conman.

Thus end our class CIP day. Next week we're expected back at the children's home, though I'm unsure what we're going to do. No more weeding I hope, and they probably hope no more weeding too haha.

2007-06-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

Gone with the sands of time like
Roses withering in the winter
And the passing of Earth's fair creatures.
Crazy though it may seem
Especially if you pause to think
Why would a confession be so blatant
And naked for all eyes to see?
Nay, confessions are private and meant for
God's ears alone and no other so
Hither-to I shall stop
Unless my hand bid me not?
Insanity, I should think for
Much like the waves words can't be stopped
Irrational though it may be,
Not if you open your eyes and see for
Much a tale unfolds before thee
Yet most are too blind to notice,
Or hear nor decipher.
Nevertheless things are obvious
Lest thee still can't see over
Yonder words and incoherent sentences the meaning
Lashing out like a devil's whip?
O' me, O' humanity
View poisoned by lies and
Erroneous judgement.

2007-06-24T20:43:00.000+08:00

She's always on my mind, from the time I wake up til I close my eyes. Though she's so far away, it just keeps getting stronger, everyday, and even now she's gone, I'm still holding on... So tell me where do I start, cause its breaking my heart. Don't wanna let her go...

My friends keep telling me, that if you really love her, you've gotta set her free. And if she returns in kind, I'll know she's mine. But tell me where do I start, cause its breaking my heart. Don't wanna let her go.

Why I live in despair? Wide awake or dreaming I know she's never there. And all the time I act so brave I'm shaking inside. Why does it hurt me so..?

Maybe my love will come back someday... Only Heaven knows...

Only Heaven knows..............................

Sigh, another bout of EMO-NESS is back.... Rite.. During my MYE somemore...

Thought of 2 lame quotes.
1) When the going gets tough, the smart steps aside and let the idiots do the work.
2) Intelligence is not the capacity to do things, rather, it is the capacity to NOT do things and get credit for it.

And... A new species of dinosaur has been found. It's called the Muggersaurus Hex, from the same family as the most well-known dinosaur ever, Tyrannosaurus Rex. This dinosaur is the first organism to wear glasses, and is said to be the smartest dinosaur that ever walked this earth. The Muggersaurus is not a herbivore, omnivore, or a carnivore. It is the most peculiar organism discovered. It eats books to maintain it's vital processes. A term for book-eating has not been coined, but I guess its called a bookivore? or maybe paperivore? Well then, a goat would most certainly belong in it too! Anyways, the Muggersaurus is also the first species of animals to be able to speak. Yes SPEAK! They can TALK to each other and actually plans what they would do. The Muggersaurus is a peaceful dinosaur, unlike the Tyrannosaurus, although they are both from the same family. However, the Muggersaurus becomes aggressive when it feels threatened. However, it is not threatened in the sense we think. Instead, it feels threatened when there is ignorance. When it asks a question and another muggersaurus can't answer, a fight would break out among them. And the fight isnt pretty. THey hurl facts at each other and try to outsmart each other! One fight can last a couple of hours! The mating ceremony is even better. During the mating season, males would compete against each other for females. The method? You guessed it, its a tri-book-a-thon. They first compete in intelligence, same way they handle a fight. Next, they would compete speed reading. They were to read 10 books in the shortest amount of time and must answer questions pertaining to the books correctly. Lastly, they would have a debate, the winner would be decided by the female. This method of choosing a mate is tedious and can take up to 6 months! It's no wonder that this species do not thrive at all. In fact, scientists speculate that they have harder time breeding than a panda! Now, after FINALLY choosing a mate, they would, of course, mate! And, well, humans get each other aroused by kissing, stripping, wearing sexy clothes, whatever. The muggersaurus is totally different! They would spend days, or even weeks just reading and reading until they get aroused. Then, they would mate. Muggersaurus are born with glasses and they can read the moment they are born. In fact, the parents never needs to look after the young, they are completely independent. What puzzles scientists most now, is that how did this species of dinosaur came about? And if there is such a highly intelligent species before humans, are there any more unknown animals with high intelligence quotient that we still do not know of? With the advent of this new dinosaur, a new theory of the Great Extinction has surfaced. Could the muggersaurus be so smart that they developed nuclear technology and start of a war that led to the deaths of the entire dinosaur race? Or maybe something more advanced than nuclear technology, something more sinister, like the ability to create black holes. We may never know how far the muggersaurus got.

2007-06-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

2)
今天终于开始读书，准备即将来临的考试。早上一起床，我先玩电脑游戏，接着便开始温习功课。我勤奋地读书，从十二点到四点。由于觉得闷了，我和我的妹妹编导游泳池游几圈。我现在非常担心我能够在考试中考到好成绩吗。我现在已经在加拿大，这里的麦当劳的食物非常便宜，分量又大。这里四处都是高山，山顶都有雪，景色非常美丽。旅店的床也非常舒服，我躺下就想睡。后天我就要上路了，爸爸要带我们到 "Whistler" 去滑雪。

最近我一直有点赛鼻，使我觉得不舒服，吃了药也没有效果。最近我也常常到 www.ign.com 读那里的文章。今年即将出很多电脑游戏，而且都看起来非常好玩。我认为自己非常贪心，因为我想买全部。今年是高中一，不能随随便便对待功课，所以我不能疯狂地玩，真扫兴。我正在劝我的父母移民到美国，因为我比较喜欢美国。这里能滑雪，有四季，地方也非常美丽。而且这里的屋子大，价钱也便宜，车也很便宜，生活费也不比新加坡贵。我也要在这里读大学，希望能进 Stanford University 或 Princeton University。如果我想进这些大学，我就要非常用功。想了就头痛。

Another thing that drives me crazy is TYPING CHINESE!!! Gosh, its irritating. ANyways, nothing much happened, besides me starting my Mid-year revision. Ate at Olive Garden today for dinner. Man, the waitress serving my family was BEAUTIFUL! She's also very cheerful and friendly, haha, chatted abit. My mom was like "wanna take photo with her?" Woah, then must tip more haha. But we did not in the end, would be kind of weird.

Heading up to whistler soon, where I can finally start skiing. Tomorrow is another study day. Sad. Feel like watching GHost Rider on TV. ANyway, I so miss her. Ok, i have no idea what to post. Oh, I am currently working on persuading my dad to emmigrate to the US.

2007-06-13T13:20:00.000+08:00

Finally gonna start on my chi assignment. Ok, for those of you who want to be spared the torture of reading chinese, skip to the bottom for the english version. Photoes will be in the EL version too.

1)
我到美国已经有十天了。我去的第一个地方就是夏威夷。那里的气候和新加坡很相像。唯一不同的就是那里风吹很凉，又靠近海，所以比新加坡好多了。但我也很不幸，因为第一天就生病了。结果我不能出门，呆在旅馆里。第二天我觉得好一点，便到海边看海浪。夏威夷的海浪非常猛，不小心就会被它冲进海里。在海边玩够后，爸爸便带我们到市区里，因为他必须参加一个研讨会。我在市区带了三天，在那三天里，每天不是买东西就是吃东西。在夏威夷的最后的晚上，爸爸的同事请我们到日本餐厅吃晚餐。那个餐厅的食物很好吃，而且是自助晚餐。

现在我不喜欢搭飞机，尤其是晚班飞机，因为虽然我会觉得累，但却不能睡。我现在了解为什么医生说感冒就最好不要搭飞机。我感冒是搭飞机，结果当它降落时，我的头感到很痛，仿佛被铁锤打到。现在我正在西雅图。我到了"Mount Rainier", 它是个非常高的山，山顶有雪，非常美丽。在那儿有野生动物园，我们能搭车进去，看那些动物在他们的自然环境里生活。

明天我就要上路了，爸爸要带我们到加拿大，到了那儿，我便能滑雪！我心里非常兴奋，很期待去滑雪。滑下山的感觉非常刺激，因此我被它息影住了。今天就写到这里。

Wow, that was TORTUROUS. Ok, finally the EL version..

Firstly, I was taking the Northwest airline, NO SIA *sob sob*. We flew to Tokyo's Narita airport first. It took approximately 7 hours. It was HORRIBLE. I stayed up the previous night until 2 AM before turning in and waking up at 3 AM. THe flight was at 6 AM. Ok, I have a problem sleeping on the plane, and that whole 7 hours I wasn't able to sleep and suffering the whole flight. Ah well, to ease the suffering, I decided to watch some movies. I watched Romeo & Juliet. It's a modern remake of Shakespeare's tragedy. It's absolutely fantastic and funny because although it is in modern time, the dialogue is kept as shakespeare wrote it. Then, transit at Narita airport, 6 HOURS!!! DotZ...

That's me SLEEPING at the Narita airport.

Woo, the waves. They were more than 1.6M high. How I know? It was taller than my sister.

We were being childish by playing catching with the waves.

Just for you to imagine the height of the waves. And this was taken another day, where the waves were calmer, but they still make east coast waves look lame. W8, it already IS lame without comparing. Ha.

Ate at this Jap restaurant in Honolulu. If you ever come to Honolulu, you gotta try this restaurant. The food is GREAT.

After Hawaii we flew to Seattle on Northwest airline again. Once again, another terrible plane ride bcos it is at night. Nxt day went to this safari. We took a tram ride through it, and got real close to the animals, though we were seperated bcos of the tram.

Haha, this bison is trying to lick its butt.

These are male elks, and their horns are REALLY HuGE! And heavy, it can weigh more than 200 pounds.

This poor big horn sheep knocked off one of its horn.

Lala, going Whistler tmr, where I can go skiing. WOOHOO!!!! Feeling rly excited now.

2007-06-07T06:03:00.000+08:00

Saw what dex n TY wrote in their blogs abt the sorting hat. Ok, I shall do one too ;).

GLenn- He would be in...... JELAPANG!! Why? Cos his house there wad..
WP- He would be in..... JELAPANG TOO!! Same reason
Dex- BANGKIT!!! Cos.. Haha, you know why..
TY- YEWTEEAN!!! XD XD... Ok, SAME REASON MUHAHAHA..
.
.
.
.
The list goes on. See, mine more interesting :).

Okok, now seriously I shall sort them.
(P.S. I am using a "sorting hat". DRAW LOTS HAHA! Cause I dono wad each house suppose to be). Unless otherwise specified, the reasons I sort ppl are below. And also, you can sort ppl urself too!

Breakdown of houses:
Gryffindor: For ppl wif names that start with "G" or winners, unless I dun feel like putting them there muhaha (This rule applies for all houses)
SLytherin: FOr ppl wif names that start with "S" or are EVIL.
Hufflepuff: FOr ppl wif names that start with "H" or are LOSERS. Wanna know why? Cause they ALWAYS lose the housecup.
Ravenclaw: For ppl wif names that start with "R" or are not in the other 3 houses or are related to Cedric Diggory.

Glenn: Gryffindor (Winner house man)
WWP: Hufflepuff (NAH NAH, I dun wanna put u in slytherin XD)
Dex: Slytherin (For putting me in hufflepuff, pfft)
TY: Slytherin (Rly evil stuffs he say)
WZ: Slytherin (SO he can be wif TY and dex, i so nice rite?)
Lionel: Ravenclaw (Er, I have no idea why..)
GX: Ravenclaw (Cause he and lionel are so chummy)
No fun just sorting guys rite? I shall sort girls too! OH CRAP, WP is under guys XD.
Grace Y.: Gryffindor (Yep, name starts with G.)
Grace W.: Gryffindor (lalala)
Sandy: Slytherin
Siewling: Slytherin
Jolene: Ravenclaw
Michele C.: Hufflepuff (I shall be nice to WP XD...)

Ok, I'm bored of sorting. The only houses that ppl shud be sorted into are Nuthouses. And the cleaner just came to clean the room so I nneed to go out..

P.S. Photoes coming soon as soon as I hijack my father's computer... ANd no, i wasn't camwhoring, i'm just flashing at mother nature HAHA!!! get it? FLASHING? XD XD. Man, I wanna surf..... be a surfer dude...

2007-05-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's so unlike me to not post for so long.

Am I mean? Am I heartless? I should be, since she stole my heart.

Had an argument with my neighbour yesterday. My sis and I were going over to inform him that keeping 3 rabbits in a small cage is inhumane and its animal cruelty. Well, as expected, he went on a defense and kept trying to save face. He said something that pissed me off. "They are just animals, you cannot compare them with humans!" Lets just say that if my sister had not restrained me he would end up crying as he lose an argument with someone 3 times younger than him. Anyway, I was in a murderous mood after that yesterday. It's ppl like this that kira should kill. I wish I have absolute power and can kill people like him. That encounter affirms my belief that humans are incorrigible. They are one dastardly race that stops at nothing short of destruction. I hope when I grow up, I'll not be one with this nonsensical society full of bullshit. Anyways, I wanna take criminal psychology nxt time, so I can turn humans on each other. Sounds like fun isn't it? Make others do your dirty work.

Don't think it helps that she keeps getting more and more beautiful the more I look at her. Maybe what my teacher say is correct. Females become beauties when they reach 18 years old. Is there really such a magical change?

Last thursday went to watch Phantom of the Opera. It's a rly great musical, and I am totally amazed at the vocals. Haha, went there with my 2 cousins and sister. I pity the phantom. All he wants is to be loved, and others have rejected him and treated him as a freak since young.

Sigh, I dono wad to post...

2007-05-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

Ok, blogger coding for posts are screwed... It feels so weird to be typing in this white box now..

"If you lose a moment, you might lose alot" I totally agree wif that quote..

School is quite hectic now, and yet, I feel I'm the only one not participating in all the buzz. All the SYFs bla bla bla, homework, tutorials, studies, Rock AC, Passion AC, bla bla bla, and I'm not at all enthralled by all this hype.

Anyway, I feel I'm very misunderstood.. Why? Hmm.. Lets just leave it at my pw group had its first conflict. And I unwillingly caused it, though the person who started arguing wasn't me, and I was even-tempered throughout (Sth amazing!). Normally I wld have been rly pissed, but Glenn was saying some rly silly stuffs in another conversation, so I cldnt get pissed.

Thought of sth evil to do during lecture. Next time I see anyone beside me crossing their legs, I would give the area beneath their kneecaps a sharp tap, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. HAHAHAHA!!!

I'm so not myself lately.. i dono wad to post, nowadays totally no drive to post.. I've begun reading the children's bible that has sat on my bookshelf for so long.. Reached the New Testament already. Kk, dono wad else to post.. Think I'll try to write a song soon..

2007-04-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

Sigh, TY ask me to post so I post, but I rly nth to post leh, how how??

Ok, lemme just start slowly. First up, PW. Errr, well, my group is fast and has ALMOST finished the GPP. Guess who contributed the ALMOST? If you guessed me, den u just won $1 mil!!!! Haha, typical bpian slacker :). Ahh Stresss!!! Nxt WK got chem test and the week after Phy and the following wk Maths! NO!!! not to forget my Independent study for GP is due wk 9 and Phy one is dono when.

I wish the pace of life can slow down..

Well, now I can talk abt Sports Day I guessed. I can summarize it into a word, time-wasting. Well, not entirely, I ended up doing my chem summary and talking. Eh, n those ppl wif competitions coming up can pon Sports Day, so unfair. I mean, even SGC can pon.. OH WOW! Ah, now the good thing abt Sports Day, FREE MILO!!!!

Ok, since I have nth much else to post abt, I shall make this post longer by telling you ppl who read my blog who glenn likes. The person glenn likes, is, according to him, "Smart, witty, Unfallable, and angelic." That person is......... Glenn himself! HAHAHAHAHA! Of course he wun tell me who he likes laa, only hints here n there... And hints also not say hints.. Bleah, nvm, I dun care.

See, I just made this post 1 paragraph longer. Kk, Maybe I shall post EMO stuffs, cos lidat can lengthen it somemore. Or not.

Now i realise its bad to post just cos ppl ask u to post. Cos u rly have no content. "Even the best fall down sometimes." Anyways, I think I'm changing my blogsong soon. Oh, and Guild Wars 2 is coming out. GW2 :):). *winks* *grins*. So who wanna play it tgt wif me? Perhaps Derek? Oh ya, Derek, you say you would consider Guild Wars :):). Since its FREE online play.

After watching Monster, I'm pretty convinced everyone has dual personalities. One is your standard one while the other is a MONSTER. And ya, if you seen my nick, the monster within me is a flirt. It's starting to come out more and more regularly and I just feel so disgusted with myself. Back when I was in BP it wasn't that bad, but now.. Sigh.. I think I rly need to cause hurt to myself each time I sense the monster emerging. Not that I'm masochistic or anything, but it's rly freaking me out.

WP and I discussed last wk that we should go back to BP during some special day like Teachers day and we should perform for the school. Sounds alot like fun but sounds rly scary too.

I'm living in paranoia.

I rly need the long June break now. At least I have sth to look forward to, a nice trip to Hawaii, then to Seattle Silicon Valley, then off to Vancouver, before coming back to Singapore. BUt bcos of the BLASTED term exams I must bring school work over to study. Sigh.. 4 Wks holiday is still the best though ha. I wonder if like 20 years frm now and I read this blog what kind of feeling would I get. Nostalgia? Grief? Or just like some stranger looking into a house. Who knows. Just as how one will never know when one might meet his/her only one. Also, you will never know whether that person will accept/reject you. You also wun know if that person you met is the right one, you may have guessed wrongly. I'm not saying this cos I've gotten over her or I have another target in mind. In fact, I still do not have another target (and when ur in AC that's rly a problem). Something I look forward in my JC days is to see Glenn stead wif someone. Haha, it would indeed be surprising (no offense), and though it would mean he would be always away frm me (Ok, that sounds gay), but I dun rly care. It would just be nice to have someone around me who SUCCEEDS. Bleah, I bet I would be SUPER KAY-POH. haha. Hmm, esp if that someone wld be *Ahem ahem* (Haha, Glenn knows wad was censored). Lol, rly looking forward to that day loh, hahaha. Den again, I'm also rly afraid of the day where the BPian gang of 1SB2 all got steads and I'm the only one left out. Then it's back to my anti-social days.... Then again, I will never know when the monster would permanently take over me, but if I manage to force it back into the abyss I would be anti-social again. I bet when I got my ISC in the DISC test my other personality was dominant. And this makes me wonder, is my current personality gay? And yet it balances out cos the other one is much more interested in girls? So would it mean if I banish my other personality I would bcome gay? It's like co-dominance. Pfft, I dun wanna think so much. Anyway, grace yeoh has this test which I saw on my friendster. I did it without writing it down but I'm roughly 30% guy and 10% girl. The remainding 60% is sexless I presume? Lol.

When ppl say "Lol" do they mean it? It's so spammed that it seems like an expression of uneasiness. Sometimes I rly detest using "Lol", but everytime I feel uneasy I end up typing it instinctively. Ok, I rly can't think anymore, I need rest, lotsa rest. Not bad, I managed to write sufficient length.

2007-04-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

Just changed my blog song to the OP of Monster.

Noooo! I'm on ep 70!! SADDED!! LEFT 4 more EPS!!! Sigh.. GOod things dun last...

Anyway, I changed it cos it describes the darkness I feel in my heart now.......

Psycho... It's so philosophical... We shud do it for GP, under media and education..

After watching it, I start feeling like reading picture books....

"The Nameless Monster", Emil Scherbe.. Does that bk exist?

Crunch crunch! Munch munch! Gobble gobble! Gulp.

Johann... I wish I can be like him... Johann Liebert...

Obsessed wif that show now.. I like shows like that, makes me think alot.. Tanoshi!!

This post is as disorganized as my mind is now wif moments of blanks cos of the frequent blankouts my mind get.

I'm sry if this post sounds nonsensical, but if u watch that show, then you will get what I am saying.

Remember, there is a monster in all of our hearts. One day, it will cry;

Look at me! Look at me! Look at how large the monster inside me has grown!
Crunch Crunch! Munch Munch! Gobble Gobble! Gulp.

Monster

2007-04-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

Boku wo mite! Boku wo mite! Boku no nakano kaibutsu ga konnani wo kikunatta yo

Look at me! Look at me! Look at how large the monster inside me has grown!

2007-04-12T20:31:00.001+08:00

Muhahha, spmaming of posts... KK, u can totally, and I mean TOTALLY ignore this post. Thank you..

Emotion test

2007-04-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

Emotion Test

1. Which is your favorite color out
of: red, black, blue, green or yellow?
- Green

2. Your first initial?
- L

3. Your month of birth?
- October

4. Which color do you like more, black
or white?
- Black

5. Name of a person of the same sex as
yours:
- Glenn

6. Your favorite number?
- 4

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?:
- Driving

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean
more?
- Lake

9. Think Of A Wish (a realistic one).
- Her

Answers

1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is
full of love.
Black - You are conservative and
aggressive.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.
Blue- You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow - You are a very happy person
and
give good advice to those who are down.

2. If you're initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and
friendships in
your
life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the
maximum &
your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you
and
you will discover that you fall in
love with
someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love
relationship that will not last long
but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year
and will
experience a major life-changing
experience for
the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be
great, but
eventually you will find your soul
mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a
different
direction, it will seem hard at the
time but
will be the best thing for you, and
you will be
glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would
do anything for you, but you may not
realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you
have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
Flying: You like adventure
Driving: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends
and your
lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to
please people.

9. This wish will come true only if
you repost
this with "Emotion Test" as the
subject

KK, all gotten frm TY's blog, I'm off to do sth else now...

2007-04-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 40 words. Don't think and dont go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it! Repost it for all of your friends

1. Cigarettes: Stuff for losers
2. Sex: MaLE
3. Relationships: Bad
4.Your Last Ex: Blanked out
5. Power Rangers: Comedy
6. Crash: Car crash
7. Food: YUMMY
8. The Prime Minister: Overpaid person
9. War: Exciting
10. Cars: Beautiful
11. Petrol Prices: Numbers
12. Halloween: COSTUME PARTY!!
13. Stars: Wishes
14. Religion: Christianity
15. MySpace: Useless thingo
16. Chocolates : Tasty
17. Marriage: Impossible
18. Paris Hilton: Dumb blondes
19. Brunettes: Attractive
20. Redhead: Hair on fire
21. Politics: Nonsensical
22. Pass the Time: Huh?
23. One Night Stands: Disgusting
24. Mobile Phones: Essential to people
25. Pet Peeves: Harry Potter
26. Pixie Stix: Heroes 3
27. Vanilla Ice Cream: Yummmm
28. Potties: Smelly
29. High School: FUN!!
30. Pyjamas: Blanked out
31. Wood: Deforestation
32. Wet Socks: Icky
33. Alcohol: Sth I feel like drinkin
34. The word u HATE : LOVE
35. Your best friends: My doggy
36. Money: Nice to have, not essential to horde
37. Heartache: Grace
38. Love: Is painful
39. Time: Clock
40. Divorce: Stephen Lynch's Lullaby

2007-04-11T20:54:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I'm so addicted. Severe Addiction to 1 thing and moderate addiction to 2. Severely addicted to her and moderately addicted to WoW and Monster.

Highly reccomend people to watch MONSTER! It's rly nice and its not a digimon show. Its sth like Deathnote but alot darker and not so funny and alot more serious and deals wif loads of philosophies. It's good to watch it for GP-ers. Kk, I shall gif a bit of a synopsis. The title of the show is not a literal meaning but its abt the monster inside humans. there are 3 main characters inside, twins and a doctor. one twin wants to kill the other who is a psychopath killer. The doctor saved the psychopath killer and now wants to kill him (Kinda like frankenstein). However, the doctor is being accused of murder commited by the psychopath. Yep, so the 74 episode anime is abt this as the doctor traces the origins of the psychopath and wad made him that way. The setting is in post-war germany. Of course the show is alot deeper than wad I made it sound like, and there are mass murders :):).. Nice man.. For those interested, it can be found at www.crunchyroll.com. You must sign up before ur able to watch it though. It has all 74 eps. Woohoo, I'm on 12 and lovin every episode.

Sigh, just realised my WoW lvl isnt 38 (Sob), its 35... Damn, must work hard, need to get to lvl 40 in 2 wks! Kesou!!!!

Gave up on my GP AQ homework. It's UNDOABLE!!! Kk, actually I just don wanna spend 1 hour ++ to do it. it's NOT worth the effort. ANyways, I never found maths more interesting since I met my maths lecturer. She's funny except everyone laughs AT her not at her JOKES. She's so freaking lame that I can't believe she's above 40. Not to mention my maths tutor says she can't teach at all and she's only interested in golf. Nvm, for now I shall just go to maths lecture for laughs. AND play wif my graphic calculator muhahaha....

2007-04-08T20:47:00.000+08:00

Woohoo, I found out why I blog!! Cos I have nothing to do in front of my comp and yet want to be in front of my comp!!

Muhahaha....... Ok, I'm gonna do sth evil, its #1 on my agenda rite now, just waiting for the opportunity to arrive *wink wink*.

KK, today went mac studying.. Lets just leave it that MAC IS A HORRIBLE PLACE TO STUDY AND I NEVER WANNA STUDY THERE AGAIN!!!!! WP agrees wif me too, the unholy blend of food, drinks, noise, and air-con creates an atmosphere that is BAD for studying. No wonder so many neighbourhood school ppl go there to study. Tsk.

Anyway, I still think the most conducive place to study is CHANGI AIRPORT. It's quiet, air-conditioned, and do not have food + drinks to tempt u!!! Of course dun go Burger King to study la... Then u get all those things again...

Nananana Nananana Elmo's World.... is filled wif hand-drawn furniture and a muppet.

ok, I need some lessons on being EVIL. Of course, #1 would be to be brutally honest.

Eh, I'm drifting off again.... ANyways, WP n I were discussin that after A levels we should go back BP to be relief teachers. I would do so cos I wanna see wad teaching is like. We were also discussin wad wld happen if we were posted to those crappy neighbourhood schools. And we agreed we would conduct an aptitude test on the first day. 3 Qns. Name, Do you like this subject, and do u want to learn. For example, a yes to the qn wld be 1 point and No 0. IF say a class of 40 students, max marks wld be 80. So, if they scored 40 and above we wld teach, 40 and below we wld go to class and slack. And if they scored above 40, we wld create sitting plan based on individual scores. 2 pointers wld sit in front, 1 pointers nxt row, and 0 pointers right at the back. Of course, we also decided it would be better just to ask the 0 pointers to get out of class. Save who is willing to be saved. Same logic as christianity, those who trust in Jesus and puts their lives in His hands wld attain salvation. Of course this wldnt be on that big a scale but same logic. If one does not even wish to learn and does not have interest in the subject, just scram and dun disturb those who wishes to learn. And I wun do it like those half-baked teachers who only say they want to teach those who learn and ignore the rest but nv actually prove it but instead scolds those who misbehaves, which wastes the time of those who want to learn.

Oh no, my WoW subscription is coming to an end!!! 28th April!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! *Faints*.

You say that you're leaving but just for a day
The company wants you to fly to L.A.
So you leave me alone, and I sit and I say
What will I do today, today, while you're away

I....... Will........
Sniff all your underwear
Dress in your clothes
Pleasure myself inside your pantyhose
I know its not easy to leave me alone
But its more fun when you're not home

Haha, this song cracks me up...

Oh, found another hilarious song..
SL - Stephen Lynch
MT - Mark Teich
It's a duet. Its called the Best Friends song
MT: I like my toast buttered
SL: And I'll take mine dried
MT: I like the Beatles
SL: I'm a staunch kind of guy
MT: I have fine taste
SL: I like things cheap
MT: I want to stay up all night
SL: I just want to sleep.................... With your sister....
MT: What did you just say? STOP DANCING!
SL: Wait it's your turn again
MT: I like the sunshine
SL: ANd I..................... wanna nail your sister
MT: I like Julia Roberts
SL: I just wanna F the sh*t out of your sister
MT: HEY WAIT NO WAIT
SL: Mark Teich, you would rule, if you say, its cool. I'd go pick her up, at her Junior High School.

Ok, den it continues into a long chain of words that I duno what the heck he is saying.

Woohoo, Stephen Lynch ROX!!! haha, his songs are sooooooooooo FUNNY!!!!!

KK, test week coming up, gambatte!!

2007-04-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

Here we are, dear old friend
You and I, drunk again
Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head?

But if I were gay, I would give you my heart
And if I were gay, you'd be my work of heart
And if I were gay, we would swim in romance
But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I don't care, I do
I just don't see myself in you
Another time, another scene
I'd be right behind you, if you know what I mean

Cause if I were gay, I would give you my soul
And if I were gay, I would give you my whole being
And if I were gay, we would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay, so won't you stop cupping my hands

We've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate with your fist
But you have opened brand new doors
Get over here and drop your drawers

-------------------------------------------------------

ZzZ, stupid blisters....

Watch them run, watch them fall, watch them try to catch a ball olympics
Special olympics..
Watch them laugh, watch them drool, watch them fall into a pool, that's diving
At the Special olympics..

My lady gives birth today, I run to her room right away
She smiles with glee, then hands her to me
I looked at my newborn and say
DAMN THATS AN UGLY BABY
DAMN THATS AN UGLIEST BABY
I'm feeling quite concerned, my semen must have turned
Cause damn thats an ugly baby
This was just what I feared, her head is misshapen and weird
She's skinny like a twig, at least her nuts are big (Whoops?)
And her hair colour doesn't match her beard
DAMN THATS AN UGLY BABY
GOD DAMN THATS AN UGLIEST BABY
I gave the doctor a smackin' say
Can't you stuff her back in
Cause damn thats an ugly baby

KK, sry for random spamming of song lyrics... I just felt like typing sth lol...

Lesson learnt: NEVER RUN IN SHOES WITHOUT SOCKS. You get blisters...

PI still not done... Tests not studied for... Ok, screwed... Tomorrow's Easter Sunday!! KK.. Dono wad to post actually... BB!!

2007-04-05T22:46:00.000+08:00

"And wad was a river of words soon dried up in your prescence..."

Yepp.. Exactly wad I feel ^..

Why do our lives have to be in parallel? The worst way to miss someone, is to have them right next to you yet knowing you can't have them.. Sometimes its so torturous for me to see you... And yet its torturous for me not to see you too... Sigh, my mind can't make itself and my heart is screwing everything.

My cousin made it into stanford Uni and now I'm feeling very pressured to do likewise.. I rly don't want to disappoint my dad esp since I've not done anything he would be proud of for the last 16 years.. So.. for once, i wanna make him proud.

Often I wish I can trade lives wif ppl. I do know that everyone has problems, but some people seem to have so little on their minds (Not bcos of their small brains). I rly wish I have such a problem-free stress-free life. Nostalgia isn't helping me much either. Watched all the B&B rehearsal vids and this strong tsunami of memories came flooding into my mind. I rly wish I can turn back time. I nv treasured BP much but now, I rly wish I can go back there, turn back time, relive those times...

Alas, I think not thinking about it would be better.. FOr man can't turn back time and time only moves forward. I was thinking 20 years frm now or even 30, when I look back, will the nostalgia be worse? Will I cry? Will I start to wish for times long gone and curse myself for not treasuring them when I had them? Will our paths cross again? Such are the qns that only time will reveal and yet I want to know the answers now. What does the future have in store for me? More heartbreaks? Probably.. Happiness? Unlikely.. I think I just need to get out of this place, emigrate elsewhere, start life anew, be reborn again. Maybe like in winter sonata, suffer frm amnesia and becomes an entirely different person. But I don't want to forget about the past too, for the past gives me my identity. Contrary to popular belief your IC is not your identity. It's just a freaking card wif a bunch of letters and numbers on it and enhanced by passing it through a magnetic field.

And I can go on and on but I think you get my point. If you don't, just re-read again until you do. Kk, and now my mom suspects I like someone cos I've been very depressed lately. Her suspicions are correct but just 2 years too late. NEway, I dun intend to let her know or I'll suffer a few hours of lecture and she'll get worried. Presumably she'll be more worried of my studies..

I still love you...... Wo(3) hai(2) shen(1) ai(4) zhe(4) ni(3).... Todavía le amo...... Ich liebe Sie noch.... Ancora li amo..... Je vous aime toujours....

2007-04-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

/EDIT

Some people minds are just too narrow, like a frog in a well.

/EDIT

Wow, found more "inspiration" to write a hate post frm TY. For details, just go n read his blog entry Sunday April 1 the second one on the lorry driver.

Now, though I find its foolish to do what TY did, I have to applaud him for his bravery. I feel what he has done is absolutely CORRECT!! People who are inconsiderate deserve to be spitted on, pissed off, and basically everything that low-lifes deserve. I feel a sense of enjoyment when these kind of people get irritated or angry. The angrier they get the happier I feel. In fact, I believe such people do not deserve a place in this world. Such people deserve to DIE. (Oh no, now I sound like KIRA!! Hehe, now you know why I absolutely support him). Haha, so better pray I dun get a deathnote. If I do, mass killings will ensue :). Bah, nvm, its like a rage kid inside me, bleah. I rly detest and despise such people. Humans are incorrigible, case closed.

Ok, since I'm onto hate posts, I shall start.. Yes, I shall start a PERSONAL QUIZ!! INCLUDES A TAG OF DOOM!!!! Ok, just joking abt the tag of doom, if you wanna do it den go ahead.

RULES: List down 10 things that turns you off in the opposite sex. State what is the opposite sex.

Girls:
1) Smoking
2) Tattoos
3) Druggers
4) Act cute
5) Inconsiderate behaviour
6) Ah Lians
7) Unhygienic
8) Fangirls
9) Arrogance
10) Noisy

Bah, I hate *. HATE!!!!!!! HATE!!!! Don't ask, screw taht person... Bleah..

2007-03-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

The Idealist

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

INFPs as Lovers

INFPs feels tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedastal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedastal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mates satisfaction above their own.

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. "TJ"s relate to others with a objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of peceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match.

INFPs as Friends

INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

INFPs will be valued by their confidantes as genuine, altruistic, deep, caring, original individuals.

Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:

Warmly concerned and caring towards others
Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
Deep capacity for love and caring
Driven to meet other's needs
Strive for "win-win" situations
Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
Able to express themselves well
Flexible and diverse

Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

May tend to be shy and reserved
Don't like to have their "space" invaded
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
May react very emotionally to stressful situations
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

My entire personality test :).

2007-03-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

Firstly, HAPPY BDAY WEINING!!!

Happy birthday to you
You are so cute and cool
Happy birthday to Wei Ning
I hope you'll enjoy school :).

Secondly and lastly, the quiz that I was tagged by Grace Yeoh.

These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1) I am SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER PARANOID so don't look at me if I don't know you.

2) I like applying pressure to bruises because I enjoy the pain that results from it.

3) I tend to day-dream alot, even when people are talking to me. To see if I'm day-dreaming, I'll be looking in one direction for more than 1 minute. Of course, it could mean I'm looking at her. Most of the time it's because I'm day-dreaming.

4) Ok, mayb dis isnt weird, but I can eat as much as I want and I'll never grow fat.

5) I love eating sour stuffs, the more sour it is the better.

6) Once I love someone I love that person forever, no matter how much that person disappoints me or breaks my heart.

Six ppl I tag to do this:
1) Grace Wang
2) Wei Ning
3) Tay Yi
4) Dexter
5) Derek
6) Wen Pu

2007-03-25T21:31:00.000+08:00

Read TY's post on ppl who can't make it.. So now I'm gonna post a variation.

WHY I HATE SINGAPOREANS:
1) They are SO SO SO SO INCONSIDERATE!!!!
2) They are FREAKING KIASU!!!!
3) They are damn ACT COOL!!!!
4) They are VERY SELFISH!!!

Actually, mainly they are very inconsiderate...

WHY I HATE SINGAPORE:
1) COS I HATE SINGAPOREANS!!!
2) There isn't 4 seasons...

Since I state why I hate them, I should be fair and state why I like them.

WHY I LIKE SINGAPOREANS:
1) They are of the same nationality as me.
2) That's about it....

WHY I LIKE SINGAPORE:
1) My friends are in Singapore
2) She is in Singapore
3) Eh, that's about it too!

Hence you can see why I wanna migrate overseas so much...

These past few days have been EMO days for me.. I keep thinking of what could have been, and what will not be. Today, saw some fat guy in the bus. So I was like thinking at least I'm better off compared to him, since it will be even harder for him to get the person he loves. However, upon deeper thought, I realised I'm no better off. Does it matter whether its easier or not to get the person you love? It's the end result that matters. I didn't. So, how does that make me better off? Nope, I'm the same.. I know its rly evil of me to say that.. But I was just stating my thoughts.. And its kind of a cliche..

I rly feel my life is getting RLY shitty. I just keep feeling depressed nowadays. Life doesn't seem to interest me anymore and I get bored in almost everything I do. I even thought of commiting suicide. I can rly understand what those ppl who commited suicide went through. Now I realise, it rly isn't dumb to end your life. If your life starts getting pointless you should just end it. Why bother living a pointless life that leads to the same end anyway. My social life is seriously screwed up now. Love life SUX big time, even relationship between friends are straining. At least I feel so. I start getting discontent with so many things. My family life sux too.

I'm not ashamed to admit that 3 days ago and on Friday I cried at night. I rly don't think I want to live in this shit any more.. And well, I cried cause I felt the helplessness. I don't know what I can do to change my circumstance. Actually, ppl reading this now may think that I sound perfectly all right and even analytical. Well, I am. Cause I run on Deca-core technology. I have practically 10 brains each have a profile saved in them. I can freely change between each mode but now the EMO mode is corrupting all the rest. Just somehow I can stand back and view my life as a slideshow and analyse each, though I still am feeling very depressed. I think this is gonna last at least 1 month, like 2 years ago. Sigh, dono when is the next night I'm gonna cry again... I just hope I dun commit suicide. There are just so many things I wanna try before dying. Like owning a dog, living in the States, heck, even sex. Sex is rather low on my list though cause I probably will not have it anyway. Hence, its more impt for me to live in the States and owning a dog. ANyway, if you actually read my blog for say at least a month you can guess why I cried. If you can't, then go read again and train your comprehension skills.

Sigh, I duno what I shud do now.... My life is rly failing badly... I wish I was born as someone else. I dun mind being poorer. Got a feeling today may cry again. Ytd didn't cause I didn't think much, too tired, just flopped on my bed and slept. I need my dog again... Sigh, my dog is still the one that understands me most. And its my dog thats still my best friend. And its my dog thats always there when I'm weakest. I can't trust humans... After 3 years, I still love her like it was ytd when I met her. I'm still very sure if I dun get over her I will not love another girl. Sigh, I rly dun wanna pretend like having girls around me matters. I rly dun care if my class outings have no girls, it makes no difference to me. I rly dun care my class have a pathetic 6 girls. I rly dun care how many pretty girls are there in ACJC. I rly dun care how many fishes are there in the ocean. What I care, is I wanted that one.

People say first love normally fails. Now I'm starting to wish Grace isnt the first girl I love. Just for consolation.. And still.. I have no idea how long this emo state is gonna last... Hopefully not the whole of my JC life, if not I think I'll go insane halfway. I need a break. A long break. Like 2-3 months. I need that break to sort my life again. To set it back on its tracks.

And I dun like being myself. I dun wanna be cheerful. Cos I SURE AM NOT. And yet I dun wanna look depressed. Cos I SURE AM. I think I'm being too nice to people already. I think I should be REALLY selfish. Think of myself only and ignore others feelings. And yet I know its impossible for me to achieve that. Cos its already a habit for me to consider others first. What a lousy habit to have. The only time I don't consider others is when I snap, when I get rly pissed off wif myself for being so nice to others and not being nice to myself. I wanna be myself.

2007-03-23T20:48:00.000+08:00

This is the result for my MBTI.

INFP:

Usually gentle and kind, they are intense and passionate about their values and deeply held beliefs, which they share with trusted friends. Because of their discreet manner, their enthusiasm may not be apparent. They are sensitive to others' pain, restlessness or general discomfort and strive to find happiness, balance and wholeness for themselves in order to help others find joy, satisfaction and plenitude. They are deeply empathetic.

They live life in an intently personal fashion, acting on the belief that each person is unique and that social norms are to be respected only if they do not hinder personal development or expression. They strive to adhere to their own high personal moral standards and are particularly sensitive to inconsistencies in their environment between what is being said and what is being done. Empty promises of adhering to something they value – such as environmental causes or human rights - set off an inner alarm and they may transform themselves into modern day Joan of Arcs.

They are quietly persistent in raising awareness of cherished causes and often fight for the underdog in quiet or not-so-quiet ways. In a team, they will raise issues of integrity, authenticity, and good or bad, and may to opt out if the team refuses to address the questions raised.

They are usually tolerant and open-minded, insightful, flexible and understanding. They live for the understanding of others and feel deeply grateful when someone takes the time to get to know them personally. They have good listening skills, are genuinely concerned, insightful, and usually avid readers. At their best, they inspire others to be themselves.

2007-03-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

Reason is just an illusion. There is no reason.

Ok that was so random... Anyways, AC life just seems much more interesting!! WOOTS!! Rly loving it.. :).. Anyway, I suspect there are girls in AC that likes Glenn!! GASPS!! Wanna know who???? :P:P, I wun tell wahahha...

That was so random too! Lecture only week is almost over.. SIgh, soon the slackiness will end.. Ah well, abt time to start studying anyways... And.. my hair is still brown..

"I believe your promise but there is no promise forever baby."

Eh, my mind feels so splintered. Anyway, took a personality test today. I'm INFP! Lol, Glenn is INTP. Hmmz, derek one is so different, ESTJ. Absolute opposites of mine.

Somewhere doko ka ni iru, taisetsu ga Only One. You're not all alone anymore, hitori janai. Tatoe million years toki ga tsukidemo. We never change, no worries we'll be alright. You are my precious only one. One day you'll find, kono hoshi de I believe in love, zutto. Sometime toki ni nazeka mune ni semaru loneliness. I don't want to be all alone, setsunakute. Someday itsuka aeru unmei no someone you love. Futo ki ga tsukeba hora ne kimi no soba ni iru. Kimi no soba ni iru. You'll meet your only one.

{
ippo zutsu de iisa, kono te wo hanasazuni. Tomo ni ayunda hibi ga iki tsuzuketerukara. Boro boro ni naru made, hikisakarete itemo. Ano toki no ano basho, kienai kono kizuna.

It's alright to take it one step at a time, not letting go of my hand. Because we can continue living the days that we walked together. Even of we are dragged along until we are worn out, That place, that time, the bond will last.
}

5..4..3..2..1.. I still can't forget her.. Kk, I know this is EMO POST, actually, it feels more to me like CRAP post. Cos my mind is in a state of mess I'm not quite sure what I'm typing. And Glenn n derek were saying I live in Emo-dom, wear EMO uniform, listen to EMO songs. Basically everything abt me is EMO. Well, isit that bad to have such a high EQ???? Lol.. I'm just too "feeling" type. DO stuffs based on feelings. Besides, somehow emo songs the tune always v nice, so thats why my MP3 is full of them...

Kk, Emo is good, better than HEARTLESS. Kk, I shall stop, cos I need 2 slp soon. KAT-TUN still ROX haha..

2007-03-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

Sry, no major post after all.. I fell sick on the day AC had their campfire.. Sigh..

Kk, but that was quite long ago, 1 wk i think haha.. My hols just passed like that.. Poof... Gone... I'm in 1SB2 haha, same class as glenn. Tuesday I went to Glenn house to stayover. Brought my comp there. Stayed for one day only sian.. Lol.. Quite fun actually, if not for the frequent net breakdowns.. APparently someone tried to hijack their net.. Stupid ppl...

Today went to AC to check my class posting. Me n Glenn cycled there and we made it in abt 45 minutes. The way home took 37. Big difference. And the shocking thing is we weren't actually rushing, just taking a leisurely cycle. Woah. I'm actually faster than the MRT. Cool. Anyways, we started to see who were in our class. Conclusion, we are the weirdo class AGAIN. Filled wif scholars. And almost no girls. Den Glenn was soooo sad... And i told him quality over quantity haha.. But he said he wanted a total change of class. Apparently 50% of the ppl frm his old class is same class wif him now.

Den we went for a drink and chatted at the sports complex. Walked back to check the posting again. Then we saw her. lol, den glenn said "Stick wif me n you'll see her more often". We guessed choir just ended and the whole bunch of them are checking their posting. We walked back to our bikes, den decided it was too early to go home so we went to get another drink frm the canteen. Chatted quite awhile and den left for home. I went over to glenn house cos my sis fren came over. Just didnt wanna b at home when her fren is there. And in the end i ate wif glenn, his bro, and their grandparents at greenridge. My dad came to pick me up and den HOME!! haha, left my bike at glenn's hse. Tmr must go n cut hair alr... sadded... Glenn came up wif the LAMEST reason why i don wanna go home. he say i scared her fren like me den cannot concentrate on their project. *bleah*.

/emotional

Gah, can't forget her still. she's just too beautiful. she's just too perfect.

/emotional

Kk, PERSONAL QUIZ TIME!!! haha.. Frm Grace Yeoh's blog.

Things you'd write to 10 people, that you'd never bring up face-to-face with them. Don't mention names.

1) Ur weird.. RLY weird.. RLY FREAKING WEIRD.. But ur a nice guy, a great friend, and well.. for being weird.. you actually ROCK.. I feel so blessed to have such a great friend, though we had alot of quarrels and arguments haha. But den again, which friendship doesnt? Have fun being a pigeon. XD XD.. Maybe i'll crash someday.

2) What can I say.. Um, ur great.. Caring.. i still rmb my promise to live wif you forever.. Yep, im working to it haha. For now, peace out in school, dun be so stressed. I love you :).

3) You are at once a rly good fren and yet can be a totally horrid person. You also leave me totally confused at what the heck you are thinking. But, ur matured, and actually do show concern sometimes. Quite hard to believe considerin the way u act lol. I just enjoy ur company and though I do get really fustrated, its probably my high demands (Do i have any..?).. Nvm.. I believe friendships are give and take.. Ur one of my best frens :).

4) Didnt know you until quite late. Thks for listening to all the sh*t I have to say. And more often than not I'm the one doing the complaining. Rly sorry to bore you so much. And guess wad, ur alot different frm the rest of my frens! haha. Kk, just have fun in what you do and ya, peace out :). P.S. Rly appreciate ur consolation when I'm rly down.

5) Well, ur the person that caused a 180 degree turn in my life. A milestone, and a gigantic nuclear hole in my life. But heck, even if it turns out disastrous, I still do not regret meeting you. Because of you, my life began to have colour. Sorrow became one feeling I am familiar wif. WIthout you, I wld be alien to that feeling. I can go on and on, but I dun think I should.. I'll love you forever.

6) Haha, didnt know you talk alot actually. Lol, thks for chatting wif me too :). And again, sry for all the sh*t I say to you. Lol, and you patiently listen to all the crap that I have to say.. Thks for being such a great listening ear. I'll also be glad to listen to ur problems shud u have any. best of luck for your A levels and I hope you get into ur dream course in uni. :).

7) If my frens knew who are you, they'll definitely think I'm crazy. And they'll start shying away frm me. But since this is ANON, Haha, I can do a tribute to you too :). ur instrumental in pulling me out of depression. And ur definitely the person that took the most sh*t frm me, and even dried my tears when I cried. Without you I'll have gone insane or perhaps commited suicide. Thks so much for listening without giving dumbass comments. Thks for understanding. u will and always be my bestest fren. *Hugs*.

8) Hey, don rly know u much, but u made my life in PJC so much more bearable. And now ur a fellow ACSIan too!! We'll work hard together for As k? And I can FINALLY return u ur disc hahaha. Lol, fellow ponstar of PJC.. WOOHOO, 10 lectures ponned, 3 tuts, and 3 days of school!!! We're the ELITES man.. Haha..

9) Ur like the big brother I nv had and I rly appreciate you acting like one (Whether you know it or not haha). Thks for putting up wif me when I'm at ur house, helping me debug stuffs. Also through you I know a whole different sphere of friends haha.

10) Fellow freak and 04king. actually, maybe you duno, but I actually treasure my friendship wif u. Though I do not act it.. Ok, sry for any offences commited against u. And thks for being the lively one. ANd... UR RLY LAME!!!! Lol...

Ok.. Finally done. If u wanna know who the ten are, just MSN me, I might say :) (Actually, its likely I'll say. Its kind of like a test to see who reads my blog).

2007-03-08T21:07:00.000+08:00

Hey! This is my 200th post!! Haha.. Ok, major update (I hope) coming up soon. For now...

No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me
You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way

(This isnt an ERIF cheer lol) ERIF one goes like:

We are your fire
Your one desire
Make you perspire
Cause we are the fire

Kk, tmr is my campfire and I'll post my whole orientation soon. Still can't believe I made it into ACJC. By God's grace :).

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Never Date a Scorpio

Jealous, paranoid, and possessive - deep down, your Scorpio will never trust you.
And even if you are very trust worthy person, Scorpio's paranoia may drive you to act out.

Instead try dating: Aries, Gemini, Libra, or Sagittarius

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

You Are Smokin' Hot

You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal.
Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally.

Are You Hot?

You Are 20% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Your Pride Quotient: 37%

You're a little prideful, but nothing out of the norm.
Like everyone, you enjoy attention. But you're also good at sharing the spotlight!

How Much Pride Do You Have?

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.

With respect to money, you save for a rainy day.

You think good luck is something you won't attain - you expect bad luck.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

Who's The True You?

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are Snow

Magical yet potentially destructive
You are well known as fun to play with
People anticipate your arrival but then are quickly sick of you

You are best known for: your serenity

Your dominant state: reflecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

Ok, go ahead and laugh at the mermaid one and at the weather one.....

2007-03-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today is probably the last day I will spend in PJC. Sad thing Derek didn't come, cos today DAMN slack. WHole school like celebratin. CT time my class was watching I-robot, den I was listening to my MP3 player playing "You're my better half" by Keith URban.

/Edit
Removed due to vehement objections from my friends.
/Edit

Anyways, completed Max Payne 2 campaign!! YEAH!!! After only like 5 hrs of playing. Jeez, its too short... Bullet time is just too fun. W8ing for Alan Wake and Crysis to come out, den can c the next-gen shooters. Meanwhile I shall contend wif WoW.

Ok, everyone, peace out for the weekend! Posting results are out on Tuesday! Gasps, I'm so nervous..... Pray for me K? Esp GLenn who's gonna get a treat if I get into ACJC. Sigh, even after assurances frm Glenn, and practically everyone I know, I'm still SOOOO nervous. I need assurance from God. Only then I will be able to relax. Sigh, just keep praying then... God answered my prayer for a single digit L1R5 and I believe He will answer my prayer to be able to enter ACJC too.

Have fun over the weekend, cos after PAE its time to switch gears and go faster.

2007-02-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day I spent in my CCA in PJC!! Haha, after today NO MORE DOTA CLUB!! YAY!! Anyways, today PE sth incredible happened. I stood like 30 CM away frm the 3 point line and shot a soccer ball into the basketball hoop! I was like WOW!! Silent shot somemore! Haha, HAXXORZ!

After that was my last day in my CCA. Boring lar, I rly regretted taking it as a CCA. Luckily, I only went for 3 trainings total. Haha. Not that I needed any o.0. After my CCA I went to ACJC to meet Glenn n WP, and together we went to Queensway to solve our racquet woes. I got a yellow grip and yellow BG 80 string for my Ashaway racq. Den me n WP saw this rly cool looking Ashaway racquet, Ashaway Thunder I think. It's like totally shiny and RLY RLY LIGHT! IT's LIKE THE Lightest Racquet EVEr. We had a look at the squash racquets too. Both me n WP felt Prince's 03 Silver looks the best, rly sleek and futuristic. However, Glenn felt 03 Orange better. Lol, he said becus it looked weird. Ah well, both racquets are $190. Not bad. Max string tension is 29lbs.

While we were at AC, I told GLenn that today, during my chinese public speaking, I said that I was gay and that I like him. And I told him I think some of my class people actually believed it. Den WP chimed in that I was ruining Glenn's name. Den I said I was praising him, so it was more like making him more well-liked! Besides, I used his Chinese name, not his english name. Lol.. I came up wif 3 reasons as to why some ppl will actually believe I'm gay.
1) My MSN Dps are always guys.
2) My class ppl knows I'm crazy abt ACJC and in my speech I said Glenn was frm AC.
3) WP keeps trying to hug me -.-||...
Well, I believed I wrote in my blog that if she doesn't like me I wld be gay. Come to think of it, I dun wanna be gay (Not that I can, it's just not in my genes). I'll just remain a bachelor. So they were teasing me that I was gay. Sometimes I will tell Glenn that so and so is good looking (guy). Then Glenn said its a sign of gayness. But I think its ok for guys to think other guys are good looking. Not that I'm attracted to them... And I also told Glenn I'm not interested in girls. Just don't wanna flirt you know? Not horny yet? Lol, I'm a decent guy! Then GLenn n WP somehow related it to being gay -.-||... But alas, I know they are just joking... I hope... Well, Glenn said he has faith in me that I will find a girl that I like and that I will get married. He also said the problem is I dun have faith in myself. It's true, I mean, I dun even have confidence that I will get into ACJC. Even after so many people assured me. Actually, its times like these, that I felt Glenn is rly a good friend. Though such times are rare :). Sometimes he rly says stuffs that are insightful. Which is also why I admire him. Heck, that will make him think I'm gay LOL! I think I'm just not rdy for a relationship, don't even know when I'll be ready, after that MAJOR heartbreak... As the proverb goes, "A burnt child fears the fire." Then WP added that I'll probably be the first to get married among the three of us. Even Derek thinks I'll get married. Not that I will PURPOSELY not get married to prove them wrong. But when I do, I'll let them know if we're still in contact :). For when I do, it means I've finally gotten over her. OR as brokeback puts it, just trying to cover up, trying to forget abt past relationships. Such weddings WILL and ALWAYS fail. Mwahhz, Glenn says AC will change me n make me somewhat interested in girls. Maybe.... See first :).. I dun mind giving a shot at it. But.. Is not interested in girls such a terminal illness? ISit that much a cause for concern? Besides, my mom doesn't want me to start relationships.

Meh, right now GUY friends deserve more of my time than GIRLS. And COMPUTER games are higher on my PRIORITY list than looking for GIRLS. And STUDIES are definitely more IMPORTANT than GIRLS. I shall stick to my plan of getting 4As for A levels, surviving NS, going to NUS for BA, followed by Princeton for Masters & PhD, before travelling Europe/USA, migrate to the states, and find a job. Yepp, that's my plan before thinking of starting a relationship.

I'm pretty idealistic rite? Life ain't a bed of roses, and so far it's been a bed of hot coals for me.

I shall end this post with a parting note:
"Every little thing I do never seems enough for you."

Soledad.............

2007-02-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: October 10

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it.
You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!
You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 2

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Just realised sth, Why does the number of times You'll have your heart broken is always equal to the number of true loves you'll have?? DotX.. Stupid QUIZ..

2007-02-24T18:54:00.000+08:00

Yay, finally got more ppl tagging :):)..

kk.. Our posting results are coming out soon!! Yay, can feel the excitement alr.. It's on 7th March. And after that, we have our 1 wk holidays!! I think it's confirmed that we are going over to Glenn's house for a stayover, but the length is not decided. K, now I just hope my dad and mom allows me to bring my comp over.

Tuesday I have dental appointment. Hmm.. Right now I'm deciding if I should get braces. It's SO expensive..

Okay, go KBox for musical outing? I think Glenn n WP wun be too happy abt it lol.. Last time suggested KBox Glenn was "huh... dun want leh.." Den watch movie also no good for an outing, cos no socialising, just keeping quiet in the cinema. Glenn will surely suggest cycling and WP will surely say YA! YA! Also, WP will suggest......... Ice skating -.-.... Now, I suggest..... SKIING!!! 3 Days 2 Night stay in KOREA! Lol... USA also can, but air ticket to Korea is cheaper.

Sometimes I wonder what life is like as a pop star........ Nvm......

Some random fact: It's physically IMPOSSIBLE to crack an egg by applying pressure whilst holding it in your palm. Haha, Glenn n WP learnt it the hard way :):).. TOo bad I nv bet wif WP. DOH!

Then again, I hate gambling.. Lol...

Glenn asked me to camp outside Covenant EFC every Saturday and Sunday. Lol.. I might.. If someone wanna camp with me. You know, cover my back.. Haha! The likeliest I'll do is go Glenn's house den after that go cycling/walking/jogging/play badminton/eat wif him. Den conveniently go pass the church. *Laughs maniacally* *Coughs* Ok.. Nvm..

I wonder.. Does Glenn go to church..? Somehow he seems so involved in TY's church activities. Or maybe cos Dex tell him..

"Tell me why I can't be there where you are"

Sigh, I'm still so.. Shy.. Afraid.. Wonder how guys even try to chase after a girl... Lol, must be retribution, I used to laugh at guys failing, and thinking they are stupid.

Lol, i went off to watch vids on yahoo music and end up forget to finish blogging... Oh w8! BE My Escape just started! Byebye, I go watch! WOots! So nice that song... Sigh, Yahoo took down alot of vids.. Now alot of my fav vids I can't watch anymore...

Sigh, i'm too distracted to blog so stop here. And.. I haven't had my dinner and its 8:17 lol..

2007-02-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

Yoyoyo.. So long since I last posted. CNY just passed like that, nothing much to it. Just got to catch up on times with my cousins. Haha, suddenly everyone seemed so grown-up. Sigh. Crashed AC squash training again ytd. Wow, training is RLY slow when all the girls come.. Lol, Glenn got irritated and went to play in the free court. We also got to see the DSA players play, and boy are they GOOD.

School nowadays feel so surreal, cos I know I wun be staying on in PJC, and yet I dun wanna withdraw... And the super short weeks due to result release and CNY didn't help either. Sigh.. ANyway, sidetrack a little, who wanna play World of Warcraft wif me? I got lvl 29 warlock in Nagrand and lvl 12 Hunter in Thaurissan. Dono whether my parents going overseas anot.. If they go overseas den I may stayover at Glenn's house. Also, Glenn suggested (or was it WP) a stayover at his house during the hols. I dun mind lol, I'll bring my 8800GTX COMP OVER!! WAHAHA!

Anyway, my aims for physical conditioning are:
1) Do 2.4 in under 11 minutes.
2) Train abs via sit-ups.
3) Train wrist muscle for squash and badminton
4) Train shoulder muscles for stronger swing.

Sigh, got quite alot work to do. Not to mention in order to build stronger muscles need to eat more. Sigh.. These days I dun have appetite, see food feel like puking (Doesn't help that PJC food sux).

"A helping hand to make it right, I am holding you walk through the night.."
"I'll be the light, when you feel like there's no where to run."

Feel SOOO tired nowadays, and I dun understand why. I should have had alot of sleep due to the holidays.

There's something missing in my life.... Unpredictabilities, excitement... I miss those in BP.... Sigh, now I'm starting to miss those times we had during musical. Gawsh, it was RLY fun and I had something to look forward to every week. lol.

"Tell me why, those times seem so far away..."

Sigh, dono wad to post leh.. Alot of things I feel like saying yet bcos this is public (Well.. I set it to private yet google still turns it out in searches...), I shall not.... Anyway, I feel like changing my blog URL..

2007-02-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

Today's valentines day and as usual, I have no date.

Edit: I got a date!! Glenn dated me to go ACJC and play squash wif him hahaha..

Anyway, today pon my chinese tutorial (again). My class sarbo us (again), told my chinese teacher we pon chinese. But seriously, I dun care.... Though I do not want to leave a bad impression. I have a gd reason ok! I had to leave early so I can make it to ACJC in time for squash training. It starts at 2 30 and my school ends 1 30. What's more I need to have my lunch first. So I decided to pon chinese, and my frens decided to pon wif me haha. It just so happened chinese is the last period lar...

SO went ACJC. VERY nervous at first, scared of the guard. In the end the guard didn't even give us so much as a glance. Met HZ and chatted wif him. ACJC rly treats valentine day seriously man... Anyway, saw Grace but Glenn said he didn't see. Haha, she looks rly cute wif her hair plaited. So I walked around wif GLenn, listen to him talk to his friends. Felt so left out sigh.. Den went for squash training. Haha, actually its fun! What's more, I made it to the school team! HAHA! Anyways, there was this girl in squash that I suspect is interested in Glenn. Everytime Glenn turn she will shout "Go Glenn gO!!" Den when Glenn not hitting and she isn't she would talk to him. What's more, its her second time at squash only.... But then again, she could just be VERY friendly, but seriously, what are the chances. And I found the squash coach rly nice haha. But shooting is still my top priority. Anyway, the teacher IC came and was asking glenn and some other guy their L1R5 and if they're still staying on in AC. den she asked mine, so i said 9, den she asked are u staying, and i replied i'm not from this school, thinking of transferring here. So she asked me wad school am i frm, and i said PJC. She said Oh, VJC? Ic, so u minus 4 wif 5? Den i said I dun take HMT, den she said I probably can get in. THe funny thing was, she mistook PJC to VJC. Oh well.. I don mind coming frm a good school without actually being in it.

Took the MRT home wif Glenn, chatted wif him all the way. Man, I feel we bonded closer alr.. After that ate in KFC wif him at Lot 1, before we went home. Urk, my mom bought alot of new year stuffs and my fathers relatives are all coming over to eat on sunday (Aw man, free loaders on our food!). Sigh, Every year without fail they would come to our house. I don rly mind them, just that they keep relying on my dad for financial aid, which is very irritating.. Like last time one of my cousins wanna open a food store in a hawker centre, den my dad came up wif half the money i think, so he was a shareholder, den they closed down after a few months -.-... I dun think my dad got back the money he invested. And he's like so calm about it.... WT, my family isn't exactly made of money.. Ok, and the other part I dun like is they keep asking me "Whats ur results," "Where u wanna go," U know, small talk? It's RLY RLY RLY IRRITATING! Sometimes I wish I get 6 points and get into RJC so I can tell them to SHUT UP! I mean, somehow my mother's side not so bad, they do ask, but not until so irritating... Oh wait, even if I get into RJC they wld continue to ask "What university you wanna go to?". JEEZ I RLY HATE SMALL TALK! I guess this kind of small talk not as bad as "Why are you still single?", "Do you have a girlfriend?", "Why JC still dun have?". That's definitely worse. I would simply answer "Bachelorhood is the way and I wanna travel the earth without xtra baggage." Thats my dream actually, to be travel the Earth. (Actually, Europe and America only). The ONLY and I rly mean ONLY exception is if she accepts me. Yeah, den I wld be willing to start a relationship and family. If not, forget it, wait until I'm bored of travelling. And I have a limit to which I must get married by. After the age of 35 I wld be SINGLE and NOT LOOKING. So pretty much I wun rly get married. And Derek was saying I would miss out on something important in my life (Ok, for those of you who fake innocent or rly innocent, its SEX). Den I was like, "You wld miss out on sth better, called TRAVELLING!"

As a parting note, Rly sincerely praying that I would be able to enter ACJC.

P.S. To all readers, ENJOY LIFE!

Post-Postscript: =)

2007-02-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

RESULTS RESULTS!! Gasp, the day we've been waiting so eagerly for (or not)! Actually, others wld beg to differ but neways, I was w8ing eagerly for this day!

Anyways, I got... 9 points!!! YEAH!!! AT LEAST NOT DOUBLE DIGIT!!! Ok, I shall pray and give thanks to God later tonight :). Haha, though I was expecting 7 points, since I thought my A maths and Bio wld be A1. End up A2. Lala.

NEways, gonna apply to go ACJC. Yep, that school sure sounds fun, from friends I have in there. Haha.

Read Grace's blog and she thanked the teachers inside it. Well, Shud I do likewise? Since I rly have nothing else to post.

*Scratches head, thinking of ppl to thank*
(In no order of importance, just jumbled)

My Mom: Ah well, definitely have to thank my mom for pushing me :). Though I wasn't pushed much, but at least she gave me momentum to start :).

My Sis: Haha, actually, she just provide consolation and stuffs, yeah, but she's the GREATEST sister on Earth :).

Glenn: Wow, have no idea why the names aren't my teachers, how bout, I normally sleep in class! Haha, ya, so I also wonder why Glenn is in my list. Thank him for giving me reassurance, without him I'd feel so lost.

Grace: Lol, ya, I rmb posting RLY long ago that she was my motivation, yeah, so must thank my motivation. She motivated me to do well (Though she did not say anything, it was more like in my head kind of thing).

Wt, rly have no teachers for me to thank, I pretty much relied on myself all the way. Ya, they do help out in some places but not significant enough. I'm a soloist haha.

Anyway, the school acknowledged ppl wif 8 distinctions, however, BOTH ME N GLENN HAD 8 AND WE WEREN'T ACKNOWLEDGED!! GRRR!! UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR!!!!

2007-02-07T21:40:00.000+08:00

"I try to, just forget you. But I dunno how, if only I knew. It's written all over your face, such a painful thing to waste, tell me now, where do we go? Now the future's not so clear, I can't believe we've ended here, where's the world that doesn't care, maybe I could meet you there."

"Maybe I should meet you there.."

"Maybe.."

".."

Woots, wounded again. Bah, not fun to relate the incident, suffice to say, there is one rowdy class and their teacher wants them to win, case closed.

"I'm waiting for the perfect time to call you back. Cos I rmb saying I dun wanna another truth, can't handle that."

"I'm sorry. If I ever slagged you down I meant no harm. But when I heard the stories, said things I didn't mean should have stayed calm. Sadly, you got angry, and it breaks my heart. You're so mad at me.."

"Tell me now, where do we go..."

Results are out soon! Yeah! This friday!! Maybe staying over at TY's hse tmr. Nt sure.

"You can save me from the man that I've become... Looking back on the things I've done.. I was trying to be someone. I've played my part, kept you in the dark, now let me show you the shape of my heart..."

Sigh, WoW servers are so unstable lately, can't play at all. And I haven't gotten my Supreme Commander yet, sianz... Actually, I dun think it's out yet.

Actually, dono wad to post haha.

2007-02-04T00:11:00.000+08:00

Noticed sth rly cool today while showering. I took off my plaster den while showering inspected my wound. It had white colour stuff all over it (dead skin?). Den later shampooed my hair. Den i looked at my hand again, and i noticed some yellow discolouration. Den immediately I thot wad weird thing am I afflicted wif now... Den I went to rub it, and it felt slippery and it comes off. So i smelt my finger. Oh, it was my shampooo. Lol, den i luffed at my paranoid-ness.

WoW character lvl 18 now. Sigh, its painfully hard to level up. But had my first taste of a dungeon raid today. Now i know why its so addictive. its rly fun and i had like a 2+ hr raid in the dungeon. Rox :)!

Speakin of spendin so much time in WoW, I didnt do my chinese essay today. Not my fault also.. My comp cant read + write chinese. Also coming down wif a flu. Yux, have to drink a yucky flu medicine. Flu SUX!

Woo, found another 2 injury today. Both on the same knee. Haha, bruise. Damn cool. While I was bored I would press it and try to apply pressure until I cannot bear the pain. Wah, feels rly good when I feel the pain. I dun care if its supposed to be bad for healing haha. I still rmb last time I would trick my sister to help me press it. I would say like If you can make me wince in pain or say ouch I would give her money. Aha, she never succeeded.

nt much to post in the weekend, my life is just one boring life. Ah well. without her in my life, surprises and unpredictabilities cease to exist. *Symphony of sorrow and pain* (Lol, almost typed Frost and Flame). Oh, and dled microsoft free edition of Visual C++. somehow it doesnt work wif my basic programming stuffs, so i didnt try the advanced stuff and uninstalled it. Need to find a good compiler. Recommendations? Ok, i have nth else to post.

2007-02-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

****, v pain... I not going school on Monday probably, need to go hospital soon. Some ******* pushed me to the floor today. and that person frm my class one. Damn pissed now. Damn, here to vent my anger, cant believe I apologized to him when I kicked him. Damn. Didnt wanna cause a scene.

So, if u wanna know how serious it was, there was a crater. Yeah, A CRATER in my finger.. And now KENA INFECTION. ****, need to go hospital alr... Not sure how long they will keep me in... But looks serious now... Screw... Totally cant bend my finger now, got a bandage around it. My mom calling NUH now to check wif them if hospitalisation is required and bla bla bla, so now i here to post. I dun even know how kena infection....

CHILDISH GAMES! I HATE PEOPLE WHO PLAY CHILDISH GAMES! !@#$%^&*() YOU PEOPLE! **** Ok, need to go out now, ****, will update again when I get back....
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Ok, so who believed the above story? Haha, it was blown up alot more lar. Ok, abt the crater its true lar. There IS a crater in my finger. And ya, it does hurt alot, like my whole finger on fire. And Its true I cant bend my finger now, cos its totally plastered. haha. Hope dun kena infection, last time I kena this kind of thing almost have to amputate. but last time was my whole arm. THe doctor last time told me if dun heal within one weak will have to amputate. LUCKY LUCKY it healed. Cant believe if they amputated one of my arm.

Abt the seriousness its not true. Abt the anger, yes, I'm rly angry, and yes I RLY HATE PEOPLE WHO PLAY CHILDISH GAMES!

Jeez, still I think today campfire ended TOO early. I mean, I was just getting hyped up den they say go home go home.. SIANZZZ.. Not fun one... ACJC better, let them play until 11. In the end, wad I dun like abt PJC is still the people. Of course, its a general statement, there are really great people too. Rly like Joel's blogsong, "Everything to me" I Think, rly nice song.

Some ppl in my class are just so talented. Derek is like an inventor-in-the-making, Joel can play the drums, and can do pull-ups like its childsplay and he's also a rly nice guy, Terence can play soccer, badminton, and the piano. Sigh, then I think of myself, I can only be a jack of all trades but a master of none. The only thing I'm close to mastering is DotA, and its not satisfying at all. Damn, I h8 complaining. I wanna do sth abt it. I shall do FULL BODY WORKOUT, not to mention I shall start learning some musical instrument, self-taught. Also, I'm gonna pick up programming. And, I wanna be a nice guy, I wanna be someone everyone will like (Which is so isnt myself, and I h8 not being myself). As the saying goes, you can't please everyone. Darn, I'm rly living a screwed up life.

2007-02-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

《梦痕》
V.1.0B
你有梦痕。他有梦痕。每个人都有梦痕。痕迹的深度当然会不一样，但是重点就是每个人都有梦痕。生为人，我们都会有梦想，因为有梦想，所以逃不掉梦痕。我们必须知道我们这一生一定有几个梦想是实现不了的。一旦有梦想不能实现，我们要坚持下去，因为即使我们颓丧也解决不了问题。
有些人很特别，他们并没有梦想。我属于这类的人。没有梦想的生活真好，无忧无虑，什么东西都可以做。但是，没有梦想也有不好的地房，譬如当老师要你写关于梦想的文章，你就写不出了。突然间我忘记要写什么，因此就到此为止。

2007-02-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

AM really irritated now that WoW server is down. Crap, waste $1 today cus I can't play. It had BETTER be working tmr...

Tmr wld be campfire night #2! Quite looking forward to it since there is mass dance and fun dance haha. DOno why but nowadays I'm rly into dancing (Not becus of girls, I can garunttee that). I just find dancing fun and a great way to have a workout. Contrary to popular belief, dancing is cool!!

Today WP and my sis came. My sis pretty much just hanged out wif her senior. I hanged out wif WP. We went to the hall to play the grand, den saw Alvin and some girl playing badminton and we got tempted into playing. So me n WP played alone first, half court. We borrowed Alvin's racquet. Wow, he's rich, he has like 5 racquets each priced at about $300. After that jordan came and I stopped playing. WP and jordan played against 2 girls frm his class. One of them quite good, last time school team one. WP and jordan still won. After that me n WP played against jordan and alvin. although we didnt play score, we were winning haha.

ok, i think i found out the code to type out for programming to input strings. To declare a string, it isnt "string variable", but char string[insert number]. Basically a string is an array of char. Haha, cool, now i can continue making my survey tmr. Gotta learn how to upload the final product to blogger template so ppl can do my quiz. too bad its in MS console.

Just now I went to zheng hwa CC to play badminton wif WP and his church friends. Den later glenn joined us. Me n WP pretty much won his church friends. Made a few new aquinttances. Quite happy I went actually. Den poor Glenn came. Why poor? He has a sore throat. Awwwww... Ok, everyone wish him well and hope he gets well soon :). He alr has that dreaded thing for 1 wk. From me to him: Hope you get well soon Glenn :). Dun look so moody, you looked rly down today.

Haha, looks like glenn knows joel too, he's in his group during youth camp.

Seriously considerin going to wp church again. Dono, but suddenly i find christians rly friendly. Last time i went always seem to attract weird looks. It may just be me but i felt rly uncomfortable and stopped going after half a year. After today, I realised that being in church actually lifts my spirit up. Seriously, I believe in the prescence of God. Somehow I felt rly calm when I was there for service. And anyways, the worship songs are realli great. But I'm not enthu until like some of the guys who knelt down. These things take time I guess, not used to it and my mom ain't rly very approving of me going.

Take it from me, meeting new people is rly fun! I was too stubborn last time, but still, I am very serious when it comes to lifetime friends. Once you are a good friend of mine, you'll stay that way. I rly treasure Glenn and WP as my friends. They are my bestest friends :). I should rly thank God for sending them into my life, they have helped me pass a difficult secondary school life, though some of the difficulty was added by them haha. Rly was a wild sec school life. Hope to be able to enter ACJC during the JAE intake.

Soon, results wld be released nxt Friday. the newspaper and news should be announcing the date this weekend.

Ok, sign off for now. Hope to have a blast tmr :):)..

2007-01-31T21:49:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to Grace :):)!

Happy birthday to my blog :):)!

Yepp, 31st Jan is a special date for me haha. Ok, for those of u who dun get it, im too lazy to xplain.

Yaa, I cant believe I have blogged for 2 yrs now, I wld have thought after 1 year I would stop.

Den again, there are alot of things that I thought and proved wrong.

It's funny, that this is my own blog, and yet out of fear of wad ppl might think, I cant type wad i thought and proved wrong.

Well, one of them can, I thought I wld forget abt her but well, to make a long story short, she's always on my mind.

Wondering why I'm typing in such short paragraphs. I guess its to make this post look long. I rly have nothing much to post, I'm too lazy to post abt happenings in school. Ok, maybe one.

Had quite a long chat wif Joel today, found out he goes to Glory Presbyterian church. Same one TY goes to. And that he has a personal website wif his twin, http://www.theohbrothers.com. I find him a v nice guy, just somewhat shy. And he plays the drums. Lol.

I'm quite distressed as to wad to do wif my time tmr. I have 2 hrs of nothing-to-do-ness. And after school, my sis wld be coming and WP too. Lol. There goes a quiet time observing ppl doing their PE.

(Ya, Alan knows why I enjoy watching ppl do their PE. Derek too I think.)

Ok, seriously have nothing else to post as life falls into a routine. I need sth unexpected and exciting to happeN!

2007-01-28T22:36:00.000+08:00

[Wrath]
Who did you last get angry with?
>My God, I dunno! I'm a peace-loving person :).

What is your weapon of choice?
>Nukes anyday :).

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
>yes.

How about the same sex?
>yes.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
>Frankly, no idea :). Should be someone frm my class haha.

What is your pet peeve?
>Err... Ok, I shall not pretend I understood this qn.

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
>I keep them....... for 5 minutes?

[Sloth]
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
>Er.. My homework?

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
>1-3pm

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
>Er, Grace!

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
>Can't rmb seriously... I am so lame that almost everything I say is lame.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
>yes.

How many times do you usually hit the snooze button on your alarm clock?
>I dun have an alarm clock!

[Gluttony]
Are you a meat eater?
>yes.

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
>1 can. ( Yeah, I know, v little..)

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
>No, my eating capacity varies to a great extent.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
>OK, I dun rly care much for them.

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
>I love food, case closed.

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
>LMAO! THIS IS FUNNY! But no :).

[Greed]
How many credit cards do you own?
>1000000 X 0.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
>SPEND SPEND SPEND!!! No idea spend on wad, but.. SPEND!

Would you rather be rich or famous?
>Rich, I dun care much abt having ppl know me.

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
>Lets see. Yes. And after 1 year I quit. HAHA!

[Lust]
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
>One, myself :).

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
>Face?

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
>Sadly. No. I'm a virgin :). And I havent kissed :).

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
>Nope.

[Envy]
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
>Eh, no idea.

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
>JUNNO!!!

Have you ever been cheated on?
>No idea.

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
>Sob, height sob...

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
>No idea..

[What deadly sin... ]
Do you do the most often?
>sloth.

Do you do the least often?
>lust.

Is your favorite to act on?
>Er.. dun understand.

*****

1. Have u ever *really* been in love?
Yepp

2.If yes,how many times?
1 timess.. I'm only 16 :).

3.Is there someone who u like at the moment?
Haha, yes, but only 1 person I LOVE.

4.Do u think u'll never stop loving someone once u start?
Weird phrasing, this qn..

5.What does love feel like?
Painful, painful, painful, painful.. Bittersweet, falls short of wad movies make them out to be, painful. Haha, how can I emphasize more, PAINFUL!

6.Is it different with different people?
Guess so.

7.What is ur dream person like?
her.

8.Are you ready to fall in love again?
No, NEVER WILL AGAIN!

9.If not, do u think u'll really have a choice?
Nope, hence I will not fall in love again.

10.What are two things u've learned from being in love?
1- NEVER TELL THAT PERSON!
2- There is no such thing as fairytale-like love.

11.Have you ever given or been given roses?
Nope.

12.Are most high school kids infatuated or in love?
infatuated, definitely.

13.Do u think that u should become friends with someone first?
Like duh? Its the safest route!

14.Have u ever had ur heart broken?
lets see, worse than that? Like blasted to smithereens?

15.Do u believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
Nope, but I believe in "Once broken, forever broken"

16.Have u ever broken someone's heart?
I guess so, my mom.

17.Are u the one who makes the move or do u wait for them to make the move?
I make the move. ANd fall flat on my face.

18.At what age did u start noticing the opposite/same sex?
Sec 2 for opposite, Primary sth for same.

19.Where would you like to go on a first date?
Anywhere she would like to go :).

20.Can u trust him/her?
Yes, definitely.

21.Would he/she commit to u?
Ask her that.

22.Do u want to be with him/her right now?
YES! I RATHER BE WIF HER THAN ANYWHERE!

23.Why don't u call them?
I dono wad to say, she wld be irritated.

24.What would you do if you were given him/her & urself for a day, together?
I'll take her to places she likes, do stuff she likes, And at the end of the day, propose to her.

25.Is that ur final answer?
Yes, sure.

2007-01-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

Watched High School Musical the 8th time today, haha, that show just ROX! We should have done it as our musical instead of B&B :). Got more dance inside woots!

Ok, today was a slacky day. First up maths tutorial. Must have been the early morning that caused our minds to continue sleeping. Me n derek kept making mistakes in our identity swapping. Example, when the teacher calls me, I will answer accidentally instead of derek, and when she says derek, derek will answer accidentally. However, we insisted we were who we said we were and the teacher did not ask further. Den, do qn on board time. I volunteered to xplain qn 8. den xplain xplain and the teacher said thank you wei rong, and i said Im derek, and she apologized!! Den the girls sittin in front said we swapped identities !&*(). Darn, den she grew doubtful and asked us again. Howver, we insisted we werent lying and then someone asked whether the teacher trust the girls or trust us. Naturally, being a female, she trusted the girls. So I said those girls are liars, they are in computing course which girls wldnt take, so they arent conventional girls and thus are liars. Lol. After that the teacher walked over to check our names. she flipped my maths tutorial, no name, maths lecture notes, no name, file, no name. den DAMN SHE FLIPPED MY PHYSICS NOTES. Lol, and I wrote my name on that. Ahh crap crap crap...

Maths lecture we skipped it. Unanimous vote haha, it was spontaneous. We were like "Sian leh, dun wanna go maths lecture, AP GP so ez... Ok pon, pon ah? Pon? Ok pon." Case closed, we skipped maths lecture. Lol.. CT time, after my speech my form teacher praised me o.0... SHe said I was confident, know what I want, and isnt ashamed of saying "I'm rich". Den she said I can be a future leader lol. Hopefully.

Derek left school early today cos he needed to attend some seminar. Cool. And about half the class went to NYP. Not cool. I wanted the whole class to go. Den I can be "guai kia" (Good boy) and be the only one left in my class! Haha.. Sigh, however 10 other ppl stayed wif me. CRAP! Computing we had to write a programme to solve 3 qns. EZ.. Chinese the teacher let us do wad we want cos the class too few ppl. She's a rly nice chinese teacher lor. Den she was like talking to me n kiat lee. Haha..

KL and I decide to try out sth. We went to the cafe and ordered ice lemon tea without ice. Guess wad? They gave us one cup of ice lemon tea. NO ICE! Means we get ALOT more drink for wad we paid, compared to wif the ice. Den we tried again, ice lemon tea without ice, den say on second thought abit of ice wld be good. HAHA! IT works!!

Sigh, nowadays I just wanna stay back in school and walk around the compound. Dun feel like going home. GO home nothing to do one, so boring. Play computer until bored alr. I wanna stay in school and watch ppl do their PE, go for their CCAs. Haha, so interesting to watch them run.

Need to update our GP site soon. SIgh.. So much stuffs to do, yet I'm too lazy to do them. Nxt Wednesday is GW birthday and my blog anniversary. Hopefully sth interesting happens on that day :). The following monday is the release of our O level results. YahoO! I'm quite excited to be able to receive it. (And of course to see her, havent seen her since PJC finale night). SHe grew very tanned. Everyone I know who entered AC came out very tanned. Even glenn. Jin zhe. And I'm still irritated wif the MOE way of doing things. Screw them.. Screw HMT..

2007-01-23T19:58:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENN!!! Yepp, today, 23rd of Jan, is Glenn's bday!!! Most honourable chieftain turns 17!! lol -.-..

Okok. So some of you may want to wish Glenn a happy belated birthday. It'll brighten up his day knowing people care! Also, Grace bday is coming up and my blog 2nd anniversary too :):)..

Results are gonna be released soon, and actually, I'm quite nervous. Yet, I am excited to be able to receive it soon. Today lessons quite boring. Lunch me derek and kiat lee went out to eat at mac, since we had 90 mins of break. Econs lecture stinks.. We changed lecturer and the new one is so bitchy. She insists we sit on alternate seats -.-.. Computing equally crappy, the teacher refused to on the aircon and we spent 1 hr sweating in the computer lab. Its DAMN uncomfortable. Den Physics tutorial I had to stand cus I forgot to bring black file. Aiyo... Maths tutorial did binomial expansion exercise, so sian. I h8 binomial expansion, so tedious.

Ok, my school ice lemon tea is RLY NICE!! Can be bought from the cafe for $1. Lol.. I'm thinking of taking 4 H2s after JAE. Provided I qualify for it. Me n Derek were also looking at university brochures in the library. We realised that career opportunities that require chem is rly few. Mostly says Either physics or chem. Wow, so why learn chem..

I cant access the Private server for MU anymore!! Oh no!! I went to Atlans and den the game crashed cus of a missing file. Subsequently I cannot load the same character cus the game will just keep crashing. DARN!!

ashamed....

2007-01-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

Wow.. Weird title huh. Just finished exploring Derek's website and concluded I'm wasting my life. I was looking at what he does in his free time compared to what I do in mine. He comes up wif self-initiated DIY projects that sound rly cool (a la Class IIIb laser and infra-red cam) during his supposedly free time. When I'm free, all I do is play games (lifeless ones at that) or lie on my bed staring at the ceiling for hours. Sometimes I enjoy standing by my window and look into the distance and stare for half an hour. And no, I'm not enjoying the scenery, I'm spacing out. Other favourite free-time activities I do include plugging my MP3 player earphones into my ear and listen to songs for as long as I can. Also I enjoy meditating on my bed with my dog. Sometimes, I also do peer counselling. I talk to my dog about all the ****ed up-ness of my life. Ya, you get the point, I'm rly not putting my life to good use! I should be motivated to do something, maybe not designing lasers or infra-red cameras, but I could say take up programming on my own? Write a programme on my own? Create a flash game? Heck, or even clean up my room.

Backtrack: I kinda enjoy meditating wif my dog, having peer couselling wif it, and lying down on my bed staring at the ceiling for hours. Sometimes I find life full of shit.

Ok, so I may not be a science guy like derek. I'm kinda an art guy. Some novel I have started on last year is still waiting to be completed. Maybe I shall go complete it. BUt I've written to a writer's block and have no idea how to continue. Stuck at chapter 5 I think. Thinking of joining dance actually. Oh w8, thats so random!!! Watched High School Musical 3 times. And I was thinking, how much fun it must be to be in the cast, singing and dancing. Gosh, I suddenly have a fetish for dancing. It just seems so cool and fun!! Of course, PJC ppl dun like. No idea why, they laugh at ppl who audit for choir and dance. ANyway, ppl who go PJC are called PJeons (pronounced pigeons). Sth I came up wif.

Come to think of it, I may not be lifeless after all. It's just I like to spend my time differently. I dun like self-imposed projects. Maybe cus I dun like responsibilities? But that doesn't make me irresponsible. I just like slacking off, enjoying life at its simplest and finest.

"Am I rly enjoying myself..?" Dono, everyday just seem like a day of worries and problems. No, I'm not feeling stressed out by JC. I feel like a genius at PJC man. I slack off in lectures, tutorials I'm spacing out, and I dun even bother doing homework. All that and I can still understand wads going on. "Not to mention some ppl are rather dim.." Shall not say who. "You have no idea who.." True.. I duno who, just know there are.

When does life have a meaning? Isit after u accomplish something big? After you gotten your degree? When you make your first million? When you meet your true love? Nope, I dun think its any of this. Life has meaning cus you think it has meaning. If you think slacking off everyday is meaningful then your life has meaning. That when you die you are satisfied with your life. You find it meaningful that while you lived you slacked off. A meaningful life doesn't have a fixed definition. You define it.

I should put a disclaimer on my blog. Just have no idea how to make it display everytime someone comes. I dun want it in the form of a popup since its annoying. And I also wanna compose a tune for one of my college songs titled "Perfect Strangers". Never got around to it. Thought of abit here and there but didn't write it down. It ain't even mine actually, just while listening to it, felt it could be improved.

CNY is comin and results are going to be released soon. I just wanna be out of PJC and go to some better JC. Actually, only 2, NJC and ACJC. All the other JCs I dun wanna go. I have not gotten my next issue of PC Gamers yet. Popular still haven't received their stock. Crap. What's more I think they only import 1 issue? Sigh, I hope I'm not too late.

Footnote: I dono why every time I settle down to blog I begin to forget what I wanted to blog about.

2007-01-17T21:26:00.000+08:00

Back to post. Just realised there are quite a number of ppl in this world called Wei Rong. Haha, did a google on myself. There's this one, who has a blog and is currently in sec 4. My God, I thought it was some other blog i created without realisin it! Haha. Anyways, DotA trials today ran smoothly. I think. It's 2v2, and it's 12 mins. Sigh, that is so lame.

Today we have our first tutorials. Woohoo!! Our physics teacher quite chio haha, but v weird one. She can speak nicely for one second and suddenly her voice turn fierce for the next before returning to normal. At first very scary but I got used to it. Haha. She just went through the qns wif us. Have PE today also, soooo tiring. Run 5 rounds. I wish got SLACK PE! Haha. Lucky today must take height and weight, if not I dun think will be that simple. Maybe run 6 rounds. After run 5 rounds still must do Pull ups. Haiz.

Sth funny happened today. I think the canteen got some chio bu frm the school. Then all the J2 guys were like "Eh, so-and-so is in the canteen now, wanna go c anot?" Horny guys, all of them charged down to the canteen. Ah well, it sure was funny. I didnt go cus.... Im not horny haha!.

Anyways, my school no pretty girls one. Only got one girl look abit like *. And rly abit. Not alot. I think she got say Hi to me one day after lecture, but I nv reply cos I thought she talking to someone behind me. Den after awhile i turn around but behind me no one and she was still standing at my row there. I dun think she was calling to the opposite row cos she spoke quite softly some more. But nvm, Dun wanna think abt it, so long ago liao. Insanity lvl is at 72%! OH NO!!!! Left 28%!!! Must work my insanity doWN!!! Any ideas anyone???

KK, I go bang my head on the wall now. BYE!

2007-01-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

"All of the things I've been looking for, always have been outside of my door.."

So long nv post alr.. Not much to update abt my life. JC feels so.. Sec School-ish, only difference is I dun have Glenn or Grace or WP.. And HPs are allowed.. And my allowance got a 2X increase.. Lectures feel like a massive class, tutorials feel same. Even my computing teacher remind me of Mr Ng. Sigh.. At least I spend less time being lifeless at home. PE also can kill ppl one, run 3KM sianz.. 2 hr of PE evry week also v sian... Haiz.. Tmr got DotA trials..

Maths so lame, taught Partial Fractions and Binomial Expansion.. Physics even lamer, teach SI units, Uncertainties, and Vectors. Vectors the lamest one, its E maths vectors. Wt, so me derek and kiat lee just slack durin Phy lecture. We did the tutorials. Oh, that isnt slack. Lol. Econ keep talking abt scarcity, so lame! We get it alr!!!

Oo, and computing we learnt a few lines, which I have no idea which line does wad.

#include

void main()

{

cout << "I am lame!";

}

shud be sth lidat. ALl it does is to cause ur comp to create a message "I am lame!" in MS dos. And we had 1 hr to learn that. Wt?! The teacher just kept ranting abt non-important stuff. Ok, i think i know wad cout means alr, its command output! yay! The teacher also said 2 funny stuffs today. Er, not realli funny, but gives u the -.-|| face.

#1 "Ok, you can now switch on your computers. To switch on, press the round button on the CPU" - Come on, I think everyone knows that? Or they wun even join computing?

#2 "Everyone press control alternate delete together." - Ok everyone, on the count of 3 press control, den count 3 press alternate, we must press control alternate delete together or the computer will not log in. It's a test of our teamwork!

So me n derek just gave each other the diao look. Me n Dex bought Glenn a bday present, a SPONGEBOB CUSHION!! Haha, he can bring to lecture and slp on it! Actually I wanted to get for him a SUPER big dog plushie but dex say too EX and cannot garuntee TJ WP and TY will share cost. My bday ez lar, just get for me PS3 can liao :):).. Haha..

Woots, Seishun Amigo is a nice song!! And everyone watch Nobuta Wo Produce!! 10 Eps onli, v fast watch finish, and got Misa Misa inside!

Games WANTLIST:
Supreme Commander
C&C 3
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Alan Wake
Spore
Overlord
Bioshock

Lol, am I greedy? Yepp Yepp.. And I like playing Burnout. Went to Best Denki to play on Saturday. Played one hour wif Glenn Jeremy and Dex. Lol, I first-timer got silver medal! The rest struggle to get bronze HAHA! I'm a natural ROAD-RAGER!! Lol.. So damn fun!!

Objects WANTLIST:
PS3
PSP

Ok, this not so greedy. Lol. PS3 can playback videos also and is the cheapest blu-ray player around! According to Derek. Lol..

Ok, I shud rly be sleeping, its 11 10 PM. Just blogging to keep myself awake longer, hopefully she comes online. But nvm, cannot stay up later alr, later mom scold.

P.S: 02 Jam is fun.

My only wish this year, is for her. Sigh.. Same as last year.. And the year before..

"..alone.."

2007; 2006+1

2007-01-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

Firstly before I start posting anything, Happy New Year!

Ok, so if ur wondering why the weird title, it simply means to me, 2007 will be the same as 2006. I mean, its gonna be just as shitty. Isit a bad omen to start a new year wif negative thoughts? As long as you have negative actions I think its ok, since negative negative positive. Or wad Mr Ng says.

Today, boring like ****. All I did was play NWN 2. And den played one round of DotA, won 2v5. And I wasnt the 5. After that George n Ben came online so I started another round of DotA. Halfway through I had to eat my dinner and Glenn n WP ask me go out cycle wif them. So I left the game and ate and took my bike out. Cycling on a flat tire is HORRIBLE. Can totally feel the sluggishness of the control. ANyways, found a new love. No, it isnt a girl. Its cycling alone at night.

Since long ago, People felt the night has some magic in it, albeit sinister. Somehow this magic is hypnotic and it makes me feel peaceful. Wads more, since there is nobody on the streets, I can cycle and sing all I want. Heck, even though the person opposite can probably hear but I dun rly care, for it seems they cant. Budden, got problem. Becus I sing den got shortness of breath, can't breathe properly. Of course got solution, cycle slowly. But cycle slowly dun have the exhiliration and the feeling of being free. When I cycle fast and alone I feel so free like the chains around my soul are released. When I sing while cycling and singing at home while bathing or doing nothing is realli different. Somehow can put more feeling into the song when I'm cycling.

To answer Glenn's qn. He asked me why I looked so distressed. Cus I was thinking of her, thinking wad she's doing, where is she. Sry man, though my being is wif u all, my heart is somewhere else. And wassit distressed? Lol, dono how I look but I felt realli down. And actually, ur insults didnt realli help me feel better. Dono isit u think it would make me luff or wad or u rly didnt know i was feeling down. New Year and I didnt spend it wif whom I realli wanna spend it wif. Anyways, saw Kaira Gong. Yux, her singing is mediocre and her looks are ugh... Nvm... Glenn wrote WP is a noob on the pavement wif a rock. Haha, amusing.

Does New Year bring me new friends? I dun think so. New enemies? More likely than new friends. I dun want any new friends, my current ones are good enough. With my luck, I should be thankful I dun make new enemies. This year will probably be worse than last year. Last year there's her, this year... THere's just me and my shadow. How will I survive? Same as I did last year, the year before, the year before that, Just walk through and ignore everything. Don't deviate frm the path and you wun get lost.

Wads my New Year Resolution? I resolve not to resolve to think so much and just walk through life and be done wif it. To me, you create the meaning of your life. But given my shitty luck, if I try to do anything it probably has an adverse effect. So I think I shall let nature take its course

Goku: When You fight for yourself, you will truly be strong
Sanzo: I dun need anyone who will stand in my way. If you dun fight you will die.
Bishop: Those who live are those who fight.
Naruto: When you protect someone, you will truly be strong

So... Naruto's values aren't true!! Beginning to respect Bishop. Used to hate him so much.

Sometimes it disgusts me when ppl say happy new year. What is so happy about the new year? Its the same damned thing happening again and again. I wanna break out of this damned vicious cycle. I HATE the same thing. Why cant things be different? Why cant I be happy/lucky for a change? I hate being a hypocrite. I hate hypocrites. I HATE MYSELF! Can I let go?

Optimist: Change yourself, and you can change the people around you, den u can change the community, den country, den the world!
Pessimist: I shall be the world and wait for someone to change himself and change the people around him and the community and his country.

I happen to be the latter. Ok, and I was gonna say nothing can change me, on second thought, YES, just follow that procedure :). I'm insane.. At least, going insane.. Ok, I shall retreat to my bed and blanket and dog. And sob out the new year. Screw myself..

Messed Up Thoughts (My true feelings)

2006-12-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

Woots, everyone came back today! Nt sure what I will be doing tmr. perhaps we would be gg LAN. Who knows.

Spoke to her today. Ok. Not spoke. MSNed. She got into AJC. Ahh, congratulations. My mom asked me to appeal to AJC. I was reluctant at first, cus (in order of importance):

#1: She's there and I dun want her to misunderstand I appealed to get into the same school as her.

#2: AJC does not offer Computer Programming.

#3: I dun wanna go out.

In the end my mom said sth that made me decide to appeal.

"Why are you always so indecisive. What's yours you dun want to fight for it. Prelim also like that, never go and claim marks, then never get 11 points without minus."

Ahh, I was rly surprised, den I thought about it. Ya, I should not let opportunities slide by. I should take it. So be it if she thinks I appealed to be in the same school as her. Well, it shows I'm despo. (Oh wait, that isnt good isit?) Yeah, I shall go appeal. I think Tuesday or sth. But I think must call them up first.

I think I analyse too much. Sometimes, before I say things, I would think 3 lines ahead. What the person will reply, what I should reply, what that person in turn will reply. I make sure that it's satisfactory before I speak. Omg, I'm turning into Kira. Actually, this is only when I chat wif her. haha. I'm proud (or ashamed) to say that my predictions are almost always correct. Or at least close to the reply. And then I applied it to other ppl also. And now... Sigh... Though this doesn't happen wif every sentence. Just some.. sensitive.. ones. But there's nth wrong in thinking before you say something right? I just overdo it.

Yeah, I was trying to be someone else. I was trying to be someone everyone likes. I dun care what I like, I just try to please everyone. Jeez, you know that sux? You know its realli terrible to not have things go your way? Its terrible to keep following. Ya, some ppl think I dun have my own opinion. You just nv thought that I DO have my own opinion, I just dun want to make you all angry. I just want to be some one everyone likes. And in the end, I hate myself.

I wish I can be like Glenn. Inconsiderate yet considerate. He knows how to satisfy himself yet make himself likeable. Ya, I am attracted to him. Seriously. I think he can be a girl magnet if he wants to. I mean, he really treats me badly. Most of the time. BUt somehow I keep believing in him, keep supporting him. THere are times where I thought, "SCREW GLENN", but somehow, I never quit being his friend. I think it has to do with his personality? So.. Girls, if you dun wanna get attracted by him, dun bother knowing him. Once you know him, you might find him irresistable. OM, what am I saying, I make him sound like some evil rapist. Ah well. He's just charming in my opinion.

Jeez. I rly like my current friends, though there are frictions. Alot. But somehow, we managed to glue together. Glenn, WP, Dex, TY. TY's the worst one. We fell out 2-3 times, yet got together in the end. These 4 are my good friends, my inner circle. Glenn and WP are my best friends. And I guess, they will stay that way. Yeah. I excluded George cus he's not our age haha, but I treat him as an older brother I never had. He's rly nice too.

As my post title suggested, these are my true feelings. I think, you can probably tell. I'm not holding anything back. Actually, I'm onli sure TY reads my blog. And Grace Yeoh. I dun think anyone else reads. Lol. So I guess, this is almost a personal diary.

Sincerely praying after O levels results release I can get into NJC. Of course, I pray that Glenn will get in too. And Grace too :). I really doubt WP and TY can get into NJ, and TY wants to go Poly anyways. WP also considering going Poly. I'm not sure about Dex, but judging by how confident he was during the Os, he should be able to enter NJ too. But confidence is a double-edged sword. Rly, I think onli my EL will sarbo. Crap. I shouldn't have anyhow wrote my composition. Sigh. I must have been insane. I think my dual maths get A1 alr. My MT shud be able to push to A1 also. Bio and Physics should be A1 too. Geography should also be A1.

Lord, please grant me the grades that I desire. Nothing has ever went my way before. So please grant this wish. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I think the MOE should stop giving priority to HMT ppl. It's unfair enough they get a 2 point advantage. Still want to give them advantage. THat is seriously CRAP. They should do sth like ppl who Prelim get A1 for English can minus 2 points off their Os. That would be more fair to ppl who MT sux but EL good. Ah well, MOE sux, enough said. They are still miles behind the education system in America. I rly dun see the emphasis on MT. I mean, taking MT ok, nth wrong wif that. BUt giving priority to ppl wif HMT is just insane. It shows poor planning and also ministers and officials who hasn't went through this kind of education system. Which actually sux. This is my main gripe now of the examination system. Another thing MOE can do is introduce GP in secondary school. Den if u take GP no need take English. Score a pass in GP can minus 2 pts. So GP becomes like the english version of HMT. so all's fair. See. It's not so hard to make things fair. Poor planning, that's what I say. Never actually thought through the policy properly. Never realised it's so one-sided.

Ok, Nth else to post. Another long post. Haha. Rarely have long post alr..

2006-12-15T20:25:00.000+08:00

This post can dun read. Hate post.

SCREW HMT

2006-12-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

Today Glenn, Dex, and TY went for church camp, hope they have fun there. Actually, I was supposed to go too, but I decided I dun wanna go and spend more time wif my sis. And besides, I dun wanna meet new people. Not yet at least. Yes, I am VERY anti-social. I dun like meeting new people. I dun like making new friends. I just want my current frieds.

Dreamt of her again today. Dreamt of her yesterday too. Sigh, what's wrong wif me nowadays... I can't realli rmb wad was the yesterday's dream, it had to be good, for I dun rmb panicking or waking up with a start. But today's dream, I can still see it, hear it, touch it. I woke up feeling really happy (Not wet dream), felt that I have been born again, and then I realised it was a dream... Sigh, as usual I was disappointed. Then I thought about it, somehow the dream didn't seem like a big deal, so why did I feel so happy? So I started reflecting about it, and I came to a conclusion. THe conclusion is:__________________________________________. Lol, I dun wanna say. If this was a personal diary, I may write that out.

"I try to forget you, but I dunno how.."

WP came over today. Not much cept we watched Getbackers, den we DotAed and played a few lame games. Den he watched me play Fly For Fun. SO, we just talk cock until 6 den he went home. How can I forget, we neopets a little too. Ok, a little is an understatement lol.

These few days I feel very heavy, like sth is chaining my legs and holding me down. I dunno wads causing it, nor do I have the morale to find out what is it. Ever since she left for China, I felt something missing from my heart. What puzzled me was even when she was here, I did not talk to her much. So logically speaking, when she goes overseas, the change to my life should not be that great, right? WRONG! I dunno why, but I feel I lose my purpose in life and I keep feeling like giving up. Exactly the same feeling I had last year this time of the year. And then the age old saying "Man does not treasure what he has until he has lost it" Yet, she was never mine, so how could I have lost her? Theoretically wrong. I cannot lose something I never had.

"I love you, from the bottom of my heart. You are, will always be, my only one. My heart is only big enough for you, no one can take the number one place in my heart, nor can anyone have a place in my heart while you are still here. Even when I close my eyes, I see your face. In times of loneliness, I wish only for your company. Whenever I feel like giving up, I think of you, and I find the courage to turn the next bend. Sometimes, I wish I was someone else. I wish I was someone you would love. I cannot be satisfied with myself. I want so much to be the only one in your life, but am I not good enough? THen, why can't I be someone worthy? Someone worthy of your touch, your kiss, your loving gaze? Why then, do I have to be me?"

When can I win your heart? Sadly, this isn't a carnival, where if you have enough money, and enough patience and determination, you can win the top prize. This, is life. This is the game of love. This is where many people suffer. This is reality, not dreams. What dreams do I have? My only dream is to be with you. To protect you.

At this juncture, I think of Ginji and his promise to protect the people of unlimited city. And that is so totally irrelavant.

"Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. I played my part, I kept you in the dark. Now let me show you the shape of my heart."

When life throws you a fastball, You catch it. But when life throws me a fastball, I let it hit me in the face, so I can wake up. Or perhaps knock me out. Either way, it would be good.

I shall just let life takes it course and see what unfolds. Perchance I shall win her heart? Perchance I end up in the same JC as her? Either way, it's all up to Fate now. Ok Fate, everything is in your hands, I can only... Believe.... Shinjitteru...

Prom, etc.

2006-12-05T10:09:00.000+08:00

Wow, I am finally getting down to making a blog entry. Can just remember I was here a few days ago rdy to write when I suddenly decided to play games, so I did not. Sigh, I am such a procrastinator. Anyways, I promise this will be a long post.... I hope... As long as I do not forget what I wanted to write.

Before embarking on the story of my (Suxy) life, just one announcement, TY's coming back today (tonite?)!!! Lets welcome him and (laughs) tell him we have completed our partying.

I can't remember how many events has it been since choir ROD, but the most important one is prom. For the first time in my life, I actually went shopping for my own clothes!! WOW!!! o.0, normally I just wear wad my mom buys! Went over the whole of Taka and yet I could not find what I wanted, so I went back empty handed (Yeah, Im damn choosy). Nxt day went to IMM, also cannot find what I want, then went to Isetan, where I finally (thankfully) found something I want. And this happened the day before prom! Haha, if I cannot find what I wanted, I'll simply wear T-shirt and Jeans, cool rite? I thought so too! Den me n glenn would somehow be similar haha.

Anyways, my end suit was a white shirt (Yay, i nv button the top button to show off my pendant), A pendant which is actually a ring, jeans, and (drum rolls) TRACK SHOES (Laughs). Anyways, I didn't know to turn up casual or formal, so I chose the inbetween. Many people turned up like businessmen and I found it rather odd. Definitely not to my taste (Who cares? I'm not gay). WP and dex wore ALMOST IDENTICAL SUITS! So they became Glenn (president) bodyguard. LOL! I was supposed to be personal assistant but I did not want to participate in their charade. Some ppl made me rly wanna laugh, first one was Alvin. WHen I saw him, I thot he was an insurance agent, and I was wonderin what was an insurance agent doing here. And den, I realised it was him. LOL!!! Then, more ppl streamed in, all looking like businessmen on impt businesses. Den the girls started coming. Saw Jinzhe and I was like WOAH, JZ know how to dress well!! Future Hu Jin Tao mah! Den WP keep running off to flirt wif some girls. Some girls actually cosplayed -.-.. I only rmb a cinderella and an angel? Wow, (laughs). Well then, we started getting impatient and wanted to get into the Dunearn Ballroom ASAP, so we camped by the doors. As soon as it was opened we CHIONG IN!!! Haha, got table 8, cus WP wanted it, and sui man, it was beside the teacher's one. AHH!! Our table had me, glenn, dex, wp, gx, and mx at first. Den no one wanted to join us. Michele walked pass and WP said I wish she would sit here. My evil plan was WP scram and she just MIGHT sit there. LOL!!! Den later WP can come back and say sth like sry, went toilet so long, thks dex for reserving my seat. Haha, den she wanna change place also too late. But anyways, later Rachel Low and her fren came to join us. Den Chiam was walking about and I can't rmb who invited him to sit wif us. Lol, then our table lidat lor, got 9 ppl. The emcee for the nite was rly funny! And that, to me, was the whole highlight. His humour and jokes left me rolling on the floor laughing (Not literally). Buttt FOOD FIRST!!! And to tell the truth, the food tasted... bland.. Definitely not good quality food, I've eaten better in hawker centres. THe salmon? I've tasted better salmons in Sakae Sushi. The food definitely wasn't great. But the programmes were. I liked the song game, where ur supposed to guess wad song it was. Actually I knew quite a number, but too shy to go forth.

Oh no, the problem I feared is back, I forgot what I wanted to post....

Crap, I can't even rmb what happened nxt. THe nxt thing seemed to be the Prom King and QUeen segment, I dun rly wish to elaborate cus it wasn't an impt event for me. Jimson became King and Joan became Queen (2 Js lol..) Gx qualified as a finalist but too bad the whole 5A banded behind Jimson. In my heart, the only queen is Grace.

EDIT: The start of the event was a slideshow of pictures, and (drum rolls) the PULITZER PRIZE WINNING PHOTO TAKEN BY ME WAS SHOWN!!! Oh man, that photo should have won a Nobel Prize award too! I mean, everyone who saw it will laugh together and den realise that they are all humans so all fighting will stop! NOBEL PEACE PRIZE! DEN I WOULD ACHIEVE WORLD PEACE THROUGH AN INCREDIBLE FOOTAGE OF WP LOOKING RETARDED! Mwahaha, so you guys who dunno where the heck that photo came frm and which genius took it, the answer is ME!! Actually, i dono who gave the photo, but I TOOK IT MWAHAHA!! Outside 204 classroom 2 years ago. Anyways, the person who gave the photo, I'm gonna sue that person, its copyrighted by law (no pun) and no permission was granted for that photo to be shown. ANyway, for those interested to know how I took it, it happened so lamely. I was supposed to take a picture of marcus, glenn, dexter, and ting jun i think, den WP was standing out of the frame laughing at them. So I quickly turned towards him and hit the shutter, thats when that Nobel prize winning photo of WP's retarded look was born.

Fastforward, nowadays I've been playing badminton wif Glenn and WP at Jelapang. Life seems to get so repetitive, we rly need more big events. Anyways, ytd went ice sk8ing wif them becus I had nth to do at home. My sis came along. So at first I thot was 4 ppl. When I reached there, I was shocked that WP has invited Rachel Low too. And den, I got a second shock when wp told me he tried to get Sandy to come. LMAO! I wanted to, but I played DotA and forgot to SMS her LOL!! Haiz, so Glenn got nooo partner T.T.. Haha... Practically the whole session I was wif my sis, so nth much to say, her first time ice sk8ing. Den we went KFC to eat. Er, not much to say. Wow, I just realised yesterday was sooo like the day before. Haha, lifeless.. At night went to play badminton (again). Den played DotA (Again). WOw, monotonous.. I rly dono wad else to post, but if I rmb, I will edit this post.

Choir ROD

2006-11-22T20:28:00.000+08:00

Wow, its been aeons since my blog posts have titles!! Wowowow....

Why does my blog entries somehow sound so lame?

Cause... The blogger is a lamer...

Now don't all of you agree?

Haha. that is so beside the point.

This style of writing. So unlike me.

Just somehow felt like writing like that.

Currently listening to Never Gone by Backstreet Boys which is found in the disc the choir committee gave me.

Maybe that is why Im writin like that.

Im gonna treasure that disc. It holds nice memories (Though Dun have a photo of me inside save 1, but I dun care!)

Today's ROD was fun, must rly thank the committee for organizing such a great ROD. The first thing we did was the amazing race where we were supposed to find places and take photo of them. Places wif committee members, we must do a challenge. Well, the girls in my group were AMAZING. THey seem to know Sentosa like the back of their hands, so they pretty much lead the way. But... THey were rly slooooow..... Haha.. Esp at the end, they refuse to budge at all!! so i thot we lost alr, lost to glenn and dexter group. Den we just strolled back, den me and wp were strolling on siloso beach when we saw one group crossin the bridge to the meeting pt. Then I was saying Wah, now the first team den arrive, sian, if we run just now sure first alr.. So we continued strolling. Then as we got closer, I saw them piling sand on their feet, which was the challenge, that was when I realised they haven't won, so we shouted to our members and we CHIONG!!!! AND WE GOT FIRST!!! WOOHOO!!!! Of course, I stayed and w8ed for glenn and luffed at him. He said he wld be first, true to a certain extent.. He was first... From the back.. Lol..

Then it was a lunch break. NExt was some rubberband game which you must use toothpicks to transfer the rubberband to ur group members. Me n WP sat that one out for we were late. Our group won again.. Haha... Den it was a balloon game, coordination one. Basically, must put a blown balloon between 2 ppl, whole group must participate, so 6 ppl group must have 5 balloons. THe balloons cannot drop and cannot burst, if not must restart. My group won AGAIN!! LOL!!!

After that we got to select our own group. So, the sec 4s split into 2 groups. Me WP GLenn Dexter Sue yi and Pearlyn one group. The game goes like this: We have to be sth like a snake, person in front in charge of attacking, person at back must avoid the front person of another snake. The back person has 2 balloons tied to the feet and the front person must burst the balloons of the back person of another group. Grace's group did a very evil strategy. She's the tail of the snake so they coiled around her, like how millipedes and centipedes react when under attack. It's like impenetratable!! But somehow someone managed to burst one balloon. And their group plus mine plus another was left, so they got kicked out becus my group and the other group got 2 balloons left (full life). We swapped leader for Dexter was too aggressive. Den Pearlyn veri passive, move to the left and right so slowly. THe other group lost becus they swerved and their chain broke, so got disqualified. AND MY GROUP WON AGAIN!! LOL!! Den we versus the committee members. At first was abit even, no win no lose. Den suddenly, we got pummelled realli bad and we just cant be on the offence. Then they can't win cus me and WP are 2 walls preventing them from reaching glenn. And glenn got this amazing reflex that keeps preventing ppl from stepping on his balloons. Den we saw why we were getting pummelled. THeir snake broke into 2. One side defending the other concentrate on attack. AND THEY DIDNT REALISE!! HAHAHA!!! So they got disqualified and we won again. Den they decided to pop glenn's balloons by stepping, and surprise surprise, it wouldn't pop, it just compressed and we were like luffing our heads off.

The next activity was a variation of catching. Basically, form groups of 4, den stand around, apart from each other. One runner and one catcher is selected. The runner must run to another group, to form a group of 5. This action causes the other end member of the group of 5 to knock off that member, so the group remains 4. That member becomes the nxt runner and the cycle repeats.In essence, if the runner runs to this group of 4 from the left, the rightmost member must run off and find another group of 4. Then Glenn, Wen Pu, Me, and Marcus form one group. The group of elite runners ok! but... no one came to us.... What the, den we just sat on the floor. In the end we cldnt take it so we started calling to ppl to come to us. First to get knocked off was Marcus. No one cld catch him lol. Den we w8ed awhile be4 WP got knocked off. Again, no one caught him. Then finally finally, I got to run!!! Lol, and becus my slipper spoiled, one foot was bare the other was wearing a slipper. When i started running, I tore my muscle on the back of my leg. Wah, very pain, and I had to hobble. Yet the person couldnt catch me. I quickly find a place to stand and knock another person out. Then later that person, Melvyn, said to me I run veri fast. Lol, I so zhuai, I said like that you call fast? I tore my muscle leh, lidat if I didn't you can forget abt touching me alr.. Den later I got knocked off again and I crab ran, ran sideways, cus it doesnt stretch my tendon. After awhile it healed and I could run properly again. But I think, I v evil. If is ppl whom I know cannot catch me, I would just slack and stand behind one group, and like feign left feign right. Or I would just walk and w8 for that person to catch up before running off again. And I just keep running arnd like that until I decided I wanted to knock someone off. Lol, only when ppl like glenn or wen pu den i more serious cus if i let them get too close they may catch me. And den later they make 2 catchers 2 runners and it was damn messy, so they changed to 2 catchers 1 runner. More challenging for the runner. Den I volunteered to be the runner and let glenn catch me, but glenn not happy, he dun wanna catch me. So I knocked Amirul out and he got caught by Glenn. After awhile, I got knocked off again and I just repeated wad I normally do and den knock someone else off. Den WP was the catcher and he cldnt catch anyone. Cus ppl just run to the nxt group. So I offered my hand out to WP when someone knocked me off. Funny funny, HE SHOOK MY HAND!!! HE said good friend good friend and kept shaking my hand. Den I said ya good friend and I touched him back and ran off. Lol. In the end he still got someone. After that I didn't rly run anymore. Eh, I just realised the first time i was catcher i wasnt caught. I was runner den they said swap, runner be catcher catcher be runner. So the runner knocked dexter off and I was directly beside him. But he my friend, I dun wanna so evil, when he dono wad going on den catch him. So I just stand beside him and w8 for him to run. And.. I almost got him, but he just nice ran to soemone else and I had to change target. That person ran to Grace's group and knocked her off. Den Theresa they all like Woahhhhh. Lol, I hope she wun be insulted, but I didn't wanna catch her. SO I just jogged after her (If I rly want I probably can). I think Theresa they all think I will chiong after her. Den she knocked Melvyn off and I chionged for him. He ran like 1-2 seconds only I caught him liao. Then run lor, I ran to beside Marcus. And stayed there for some time. Grace became catcher somehow, and Marcus was signalling ppl to stand on the opposite end of me. Then I told him if she wants to catch me I will let her. ANd he said Ya I know. XY in the end knocked me off and I extended my hand to let her catch. But I dunno why she hesitated. I think she thought I would do to her what I did to Wen Pu. The whole choir WOAHHH!!! CUs she's the only one I so nice to :).. I see her run so long alr.. But later, Glenn told me it wasn't long. Compared to others not long lar, but I see her run all over the place my heart feel pain. Den I just stand there after she catch me and catch the person she knocked off. After that I didn't run alr. I hope she isn't insulted, I just haven't the heart to catch her. And I scared she catcher and I runner I will play around again. Which is somehow my instinct.. Like a horse... Den she will not be happy wif me or even dislike me... THat would be more insulting.. SO better dun take the risk.. Come to think of it, its the only time I can get her to chase me.. Sigh.. THe ironies...

Ytd dyed my hair and like alot of ppl in choir noticed it. Yet, my dad didn't!! And my mom and sis were sooo amused and was luffin durin dinner. My frens told me the colour v nice, thks man! Got girls tell me nice also! And the funniest qn I got was:"Dyed one or natural colour" Lol, we in choir so long liao also nv notice my hair original is black. Abit brown lar. Den I still managed to trick ppl its natural colour. Haha. I think Im an attention seeker.. EEEE YUX! I got injuries lor.. My legs muscle are overstretched, there's a torn blister beneath my feet becus I ran barefoot on rough terrain. But these will become happy memories, for I will always remember this day, when for once, I could get Grace to chase me, although I just stood there and let her catch. Now I wonder if she reads my blog... Now I resolve not to wonder so much...

Overall, today was a great day. Once again, many thanks to the choir committee for making this unforgettable. Sigh. 4 years passed in a flash. On the way back from Sentosa, I heard some chinese song on the bus. I cant rmb wad song it was but quite old song and i heard it be4. The lyrics somehow tugged at me. AND I CANT RMB THE LYRICS!!! Shud go and ask someone abt it.. Lol, the girls in the bus were singing that song soooo loudly.

Lastly, I still love Grace, and will stay the same, always. My heart is too small to allow room for another girl. I hope I will get into the same school as her for the first 3 months, and if she decides to go JC after 3 mths, hope to see her in NJ. Also, I hope to be in the same school as glenn, which is NJC. GLenn almost confirmed get in alr.. NJC has been my dream college anyway...

2006-11-08T19:57:00.000+08:00

1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?
- Who said I have an ex? Dotx, self-assuming quiz...

2.WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
- Eh, shirt lar...

3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
- Yes, dun say who.

4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP FRIENDS LIST?
- Yes, dun say who.

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
- 100/100

6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
- Never thought about it, when I get married then I'll think about it.. At least 1.

7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
- Sometimes...

9. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
- Maybe.

10. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST B-DAY?
- Stayed at home and played wif Glenn who also pon school.

12. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
- 6 45. Got EL paper in school.

13. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT THREE NIGHTS AGO?
- Sleeping.

14. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
- Of course not... Who enjoys pain other than masochists.

15. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO?
- Play Neverwinter Nights 2

16. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
- Few seconds ago, she came to ask me to study.

17. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
- Wah, I wanna change everything.. Ok, my height..

18. IF YOU HAD 250,000 DOLLARS... WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?
- Save it.

19. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
- I don't have a job..... Why so self-assuming....

20. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
- WHO THE HECK IS TOM?!!!

21. DESCRIBE WHAT UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
- It's made of cloth...

22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
- Starfruit, yumm..

23. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
- October.

24. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
- February

25. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE??
- Can't remember..

26. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
- Dunno..

27. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
- NEOPETS!!!

28. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
- Eh, dun remember...

29. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD?
- Grace Wang.

30. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
- Yep, if he has a revolver I wld help him take the bullet. (Get it? Take the ammunition and give it to him?)

31. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK?
- Water.

32. HAVE YOU BEEN TO AUSTRALIA?
- Yeah, this year i think..

35. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
- I wouldn't know in the first place.

1.Do you envy somebody this very moment?
. YES! I ENVY TAGUCHI JUNNOSUKE!!

2.Can you tell whether a person is lying or not?
. Nope.. Sometimes only...

3. Who's tattoo is appearing on your mind?
. .......................................

4.Ever had chicken pox?
. Yes

5.What was the last movie you watched that made you cry?
. Eh, movie I dunno, anime is FRUITS BASKET!!! And I just finished watchin it today.

6.Do you have a friend who's a bigmouth?
. Of course, almost all my friends..

7.Do you have a lot of bestfriends?
. Nope.

8.Do you cry when you get low grades?
. Eh, no, just get depressed.

9.What is your favorite song ?
. Let It All Out by Relient K

11.Who freaks you out the most?
. Hmm, never thought about it...

12.Who is your brother?
. WHY SO SELF-ASSUMING? I DUN HAVE A BROTHER!

13.What kind of cellphone do you own?
. I have no idea...

14.are you in love right now?
. Yeah..

15.is he/she in love with you too?
. CONFIRM no..

16.if you could rewind time, at what moment would you go back to?
. Year 2006 January. Though I rather be moving forward.

17.who is your biggest enemy?
. I dun have an enemy...

18. is there somebody that hates you?
. I dunno, if there is he/she is hiding it well.

19.have you experienced having a fight with the person you have feelings for?
. Nope, we barely talk... Sigh...

20.what song can you relate to?
. Let It All Out, Less is More, Tonight I wanna cry, For Fruits Basket, My Will, Crucify My Love, and many many more...

21.do you torture other people?
. Nah....

22.what do you like better coke or pepsi?
. Pepsi, and I dono why, they taste the same to me.

22.Are you in favor of Romeo and Juliet's relationship?
. Yes, though I rather Oreo and Julie orange juice. Ok, that was lame..

23.What is the best love story you've ever known?
. Lovers in Prague.

24.what are you looking forward to?
. Many things.. ROD party, prom night..

25.do you think that time stops when you finally see the love of your life?
. Nah, of course not, time keeps moving on..

THE WHO'S**

Who is in the room with you?
. I'm all alone...

Who was the last person to text you?
. Lazy to check my handphone.

Who are you thinking about now?
. Grace Wang.

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
. My mom.

Whose house did you last go to?
. Glenn.

Who was the last person you told you love them?
. Eh, I dunno, my sis I think.

**THE WHAT'S**

What was the last thing you ate?
. Starfruit

What was the last thing you drank?
. Soup.

What is the closest item near you that is blue?
. Razer Copperhead.

What are you wearing on your feet?
. Another self-assuming qn.. I HAVE NOTHING ON MY FEET!

What instant messaging service do you use?
. MSN Messenger.

What is your favorite website?
. Weird.. Blogger?

What do you wear more, jeans or skirts?
. Skirts!!! Yeah right.. Jeans..

What is the last movie u watched?
. DEATHNOTE!!!! WOOTS!!

What do you currently hear?
. This Everyday Love by Rascal Flatts

**THE WHEN'S**

When did you meet your best friend(s)?
. Today.

When is your birthday?
. 10th October.

When did you last take a shower?
. 4 o clock?

**THE WHERE'S**

Where is your phone?
. Eh, I dunno, LOL!!

Where is your mom?
. In her room.

Where do you sleep?
. In the air, I levitate. Lol, j/k, of course my bed lar..

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
. I didn't get it, my mom did.

Where in your room are you?
. In front of my comp lar, if not how I do this quiz....