Was talking to my mom just now while on the way home.

She seems to know somehow my heart has been broken by a girl, so she was like telling me not to keep everything in and tell her about it. Den she said sometimes young people like to make a mountain out of a molehill. Which is true la, cause we lack real life experience. Den I told her when one door closes another door opens, so she asked me which door has opened in my heart.

Then I thought, actually, no door has opened in my heart, ever since Sec 2 I have shut out all other girls. As in not willing to get romantically involved. So I think she was hinting me not to give up on girls, which is kind of ironic, since she doesn't want me to get into a relationship just yet. Well it's true, I have always been a pessimist, I never look at things in a good way. I think its some childhood trauma haha. However, even if I should remain single all my life, I will never regret meeting her. I learnt that I will not always get what I want, and I also realised I have a rly good sister always standing by me. Not only that, my bond with my computer has also strengthened to the point I can play the whole day without feeling my day is wasted. I dun think that is a bad thing bcos through her, I realised that every day pleasures are rly just all I need, and it's all I ever want, and the best part is, I already have it. So, girls, sex, relationships, kids, romance, they can all step aside. My #1 priority now is to have a fun and full life no matter how short it is. I don't think I should be doing stuffs that irk me or to prolong my life only to make myself suffer longer. Rly, life is all about having fun. Example, why get so worried about what you eat, if ur just eating stuffs u don't like to live longer, why bother? Just eat all u want! And the ideal case of course is not to live your life based on the expectations of another. Does it rly matter how others look at you? Actually it does, if u intend to integrate wif society. But rly, if I'm some rich ass, I wun even give a damn about how I look and just hide in my house. At the end of the road, when you die, you should look back and feel that warm glow within that you rly had fun throughout your life, and the saddest thing that should happen is that u realise after having a long life that you did not enjoy it the way you should have.

Ok linking back, while it would be great if she accepted me, trust me, I'll even stop playing my computer, I know that would never happen. She's too good for me and I acknowledge that so I wun make any move, unless I'm crazy of course. Eh my thoughts are so incoherent now cause I just left off to play TF2 and now I lost my train of thought. The train went up the ferry and went far far away. Feel Soooo dizzy now, aftereffects of playing too much scout! Ok, since I forgot what I was thinking, I shall just end this post. Man, it sucks to leave things done half-way.