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Archive for January 2006

1 yr old!

wOoOhOoo, today is my Blog's FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!! YEAH!! Lolz, I am so lame. The good news? Those who have been faithful readers will receive 5 dollars frm me as hong pao. All you need to do is tell me u haf been reading my blog! The bad news? The good news is a joke. LOL!!! Ok la, but this day last yr was when I first created this blog. Time sure flies. It seems onli ytd that I wrote my first post. Haha, exaggerating of course. Now I am trying to make an anime music vid, but the clips are sooooo hard to find... Haiz, I keep feeling like giving up.

Today went to celebrate my cousin, Xin Ying's birthday. Was rly fun, and I had a gr8 time there. Played Fifa 2006 on WJ's comp and I so nooooob. I can't even score a goal. At least it was a draw. THen I play a friendly match against my cousin, he take Juventus and I took Arsenal. Even wif THierry Henry, I still lost 0-3. Haiz.. Budden, this is my first time, so nvm. Today saw my XY's boyfrens, lol. All of them 2 yrs older than her. Den I played daidee wif them, WJ also playing. Lol, den my other cousins (all in primary school one) were annoying my XY's boyfrens. Overall it was fun and the food was grrrrrrrrreat! After the party I went to Carrefour to look at bikes, end up all too expensive and I nv buy. But bought a sports shoe. Lol. Come back played DotA den nth else. The "long" holiday just passed like that. sad. Last but not least, Happy Birthday Grace.

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I think I am going to change my blog song to "Travelin' Soldier". That song is so sad that it made me shed tears. The song is actually a story between a girl and a soldier, told in the girl's point of view.

The song starts abt the soldier just passed his 18th birthday and had to join the army to go off to the Vietnam War. BTW, its set in the US. Then he went into a cafe, "feeling a little low". He gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair. She saw he was a little shy so she flashed him a smile. He then said "would you mind sittin down for awhile and talking to me.." THe song continued wif the two of them going to a pier to sit down and talk. "He said I bet you have a boyfriend but I don't care. I got no one to send a letter to, would you mind if I send one here back to you?" It therefore shows this soldier is an orphan wif no parents. The chorus goes like:

I cried never gonna hold the hands of another guy
Too young for him they told her
Waiting for the love of a Travelin' Soldier
Our love will never end, waiting for the soldier to come back again
Never want to be alone when the letter said a soldier's coming home

The song continued wif the exchanges of letters between them. "And he told her of his heart, it might be love and all the things he was so scared of. He said when its getting kinda rough over here I think of that day sittin' down at the pier And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile. Don't worry I won't be able to write for awhile" And that was the last letter he sent. After that was the chorus again.

The song ended with like a mass funeral, to pay respects to the soldiers who died in the Vietnam War. "Crying all alone under the stands was a piccolo player in the marching band. And one name read and nobody cared" The name was the protagonist of this song's name. Which meant he died. "But a pretty little girl... with a bow in her hair... [chorus]"

Then after that I was thinking about how cruel Fate was. It brought them together, then tore them apart in the form of a war. It was rly sad, as he already was an orphan plus he finally met some1 he loved and she loved him too. So as I imagined the whole song, I began to feel v sad for the soldier. Just some unknown who died. To everyone else, he was an unknown, to that girl, probably his closest friend and kin and family member. She probably WAS his whole world. TO that girl, he was alot more. Its like one part of the song he was still alive sending letters, then after the last letter, the end of the song, he died. Sad sad sad.... I gonna change my song to that song, so if you are interested you shud listen. Its a rly gr8 song. THe whole song is abt 5 mins long.

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Today was one wild cycling trip, I believe everyone agrees. School ended and we went to Mac to eat lunch. AFter lunch, I arranged to meet TY at the playground outside his house immediately after changing. So we took our bikes and den started to make towards BP. Budden halfway TY suggested we cycle to school, so we did, which was VERY lame. I am TOTALLY against it, waste of time. Well, we did and wasted alot of time and had to make a BIG detour. After that reach BP came the sian part, the uphill climb to Jelapang. Owww, my thighs and leg still hurts frm ytd cycling and running. Plus last Friday cycled to Jurong Point. Den we made it to the top and went to Glenn house den Glenn dun even let us go in and rest, immediately set off again. Luckily is downhill all the way to BP plaza. We were to meet up wif Dex.

Reached BP plaza, saw Dex wif Jeremy and WZ, den we suggested cycling to Mandai Zoo. I am all for it cus its near to my house. Relatively. So we cycled to Mandai zoo via the main road. Here comes the bad part. We were absolutely cycling on the WRONG side of the road. we were going against traffic, although we were on the pavement. But the oncoming traffic tossed dirt and dust into our eyes. Well, I felt the strain in looking ahead, plus those huge trucks driving pass caused a huge air draft, which both scares you and slows you down. To compound the problem, the side we were cycling on had UNEVEN pavements. The trees that grew beside it weathered the pavement wif its powerful roots that extended under it displacing it upwards. It gave me a bumpy ride, and my butt is gonna hurt tmr. Then on the way met these illegal cigarette peddlers that tried to sell them to us. Lame, we just rode pass. After that another nerve racking experience followed. WP was leading, me second, didnt know who was behind. I saw WP ride into a gathering of dogs, and den the dogs started barking madly and CHASED HIM!!! I was SO afraid it would bite him. Luckily, it gave up halfway, for him anywaes, not for me. The dog turned around and saw me heading towards it. Then, it moved away, and started barking and chased me. WOW I WAS SO AFRAID THAT I CYCLED AS FAST AS I COULD!! You will never know how scary it is to have a dog chasing u. In the end, Glenn they all did not have to face the same harrowing experience. Haiz, the dog shud chase Glenn since he is a cat. LegO.Cat, that is. Then further on the pavement narrowed and I didnt c, so I banged into this electric box that appeared in the middle of nowhere, causing a few grazes and cuts. Wow, more to my injury list. By that time I already v tired.

Reached the turning point to turn into Mandai road to continue to the zoo. When I looked at it, onli one thing was running through my mind. OH MY HEAVEN IT IS UPHILL AND I CANNOT SEE THE OTHER SIDE. Wow, if I used differentiation to find the gradient I bet its VERY steep. Crap la, my cells started pumping energy, my poor mitochondria is overworked to produce all that extra energy to go pass that steep hill. After approximately 2 kilometres, the hill ended and it became relatively flat. Which was a welcome sight. Then all the way to the side road that led to the zoo was flat ground. At the zoo, OH MY HEAVEN IT IS UPHILL AGAIN!!!! Another steep gradient slope. So haiz, need to peddle all the way up again. After that saw a nice lookout that overlook a reservoir, dunno which one. Nice clear water. And nice little monkeys. I took a few photoes of them. We rested for a few minutes be4 continuing...... uphill.... Haiz, peddle peddle peddle, den.... DOWNHILL!!! YEAH!!! Then I just ZOOMED all the way down, woohoo!! After that, UPHILL!!! EGAD!!! THen I sian diao liao, so I got off and pushed my bike up and over the hill..... THE ZOO!!! WOW!!! ITS THE ZOO!!! THen I got onto the bike again and cycled all the way to the entrance and saw an inviting sight, KFC!!!! HAha, den we all parked our bikes, when something queer happened. I got off my bike, and I fell to the ground. Its like not having legs. Glenn saw me just suddenly fell and he seemed to be laughing. Not funni.. V scary lor, I like couldnt feel my legs anymore. I could feel myself collapsing to the ground but cld do nothing to stop it. THen I used my hands pushed myself upright and stumbled after them to KFC. THen we FINALLY sat on PROPER seats, and we ordered meals to eat and drink. MY throat was SO parched. Den the KFC staff v evil. Apparently there was a tour group frm China that was going to have their dinner there, so the staff placed HUGE quantities of chicken on the tables, which had a sign that said "RESERVED". Then we were like OH MY, DUN TEMPT US!!! After that cycled home. Great, just now I complained of uphills? Now came the UP side, DOWNHILLS!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF DOWNHILLS!!!! So were zooming down, zoom zoom zoom, I believe we attained speeds of 40-50kmph. Cool huh. After that pretty monotonous, just cycled home. Wow, it certainly was a great experience. We can organise tour groups! haha, cycle there! Well, I am going to get a new bike soon. $270!! OW, my ang pao money gone liao. Haiz. Hope no chain problems.

Now, this where I am gonna post my DotA strategy.
Team build up:
Techies- Eul sceptre and lots of mana regen stuff
Enigma- Blink dagger and Eul
Sand King- Anything
Rylai- Anything, MUST GET BRILLIANCE AURA
Lich- Mekansm, Eul

1) Enigma blink in Blackhole, hopefully can get all 5 heroes.
2) Sand King walk in, Epicentre
3) Rylai walk in wif sand king, Freezing Field
4) Techies walk in, counting 1.5 seconds, den place stasis.
5) After 2 seconds stasis stuns heroes for 6 seconds.
6) Wait 2 seconds of Freeze Field or when all creeps are dead then Lich Chain Frost.
7) Push in.
8) If Ults not rdy when enemy come out again, cyclone them, den whack twr.
9) Techies walk forward plant landmine at twr, den move back plant remotes to cover escape.
10) If enemy chase, techies shud haf planted enuff to kill those chasing, den can counter again.

Since those ults have relatively short cooldowns, the push can be done rather frequently. Yet to test out, this is just theory. Though I feel like testing it out.

Nothing else to post.

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Eternity

Eternity (Truly Madly Deeply)
This life I've had, This dream I've made, This love is all but lost.
This painful wound that struck my heart will always be a scar.
This memory that you have left is driving me crazy.
I feel so hurt I am despairing, but I'm counting on a new beginning
A reason for living, A deeper meaning. Yeah..

Chorus:
I want to be your Guardian Angel.
I want to be the Light in your Life.
I want to hold your sky forever,
All through into Eternity.

And when your life starts to sunder like a falling sky,
I'll pray for you send it to God then kiss your problems goodbye.
The photographs and memories that I kept in my heart
Ensure that I'll never be lonely or detracted in
The lonely hours. In midnight showers. The warmth encloses me

Chorus:
I want to be your Guardian Angel.
I want to be the Light in your Life.
I want to hold your sky forever,
All through into Eternity.

Oh I can't take it baby.
I can't look into your eyes, 'cause I'll fall into wonderland.
All that I want's to be with you

This life I've had, This dream I've made, This love is all but lost.
This painful wound that struck my heart will always be a scar.
This memory that you have left is driving me crazy...

Chorus:
I want to be your Guardian Angel.
I want to be the Light in your Life.
I want to hold your sky forever,
All through into Eternity.

I want to be your Guardian Angel.
I want to be the light in your life.
I want to hold your sky forever,
All through into Eternity.

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Okay, just uploaded a song onto my blog, hope you all like it. I, personally, like it alot. I also hope it does not increase the loading time significantly.

Today was so lame. Nothing much rly happened during school hours, but end of school, we had house meeting. Then Mr Chan was blah blah blah-ing in front, choosing house captn and blah blah blah. Then finally, the forms came in to sign ppl up for events. I told my Vice Chairman that I was considering to enter, then she wrote down my name for the 200m race. OH MY!! I only said I MIGHT join, I did not say I WANT to. Crap, now got sarboed into it. Maybe I should screw up the qualifying rounds.

Choir also sooooooooo lame. We waited in the music room for abt 45 mins, end up Mr Loh did not know there was choir practise and the practise was, in the end, cancelled. WOw, what a waste of time. Den after that go Mac eat, den go home. Reached home, found out mom not home, door locked, and I had no key, so I lie down outside and sleep. After awhile, my mom came back and she was shocked to find me sleeping outside. Lol. Actually, nth else to post, so end here. Currently composing lyrics for a song, wonder when will I be able to finish it.

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Today was a pretty dull school day. After school had to stay back for retest. BOrIng. Lit and Physics. Lit retest we sat outside staff room do, den Mr Chin say outside v noisy, den move us to the physics lab, but ms ong didnt know, so she went arnd finding us, den when we went to look for her, we overshot the time by 5 mins, and she wants to penalize!!! ZzZ.. I finished the paper 10 mins early lor... Just that i thought mr chin will tell her we in physics lab... Haiz, nvm, den after the papers I was watching some research course or wadeva, 2 of my classmates were inside, and QP.. Haha, now TY gonna be interested :). After that me n JZ walked to Lot 1 den we went home.

QUite boring, the start of the day. Budden later it got fun. Glenn and WP and me cycled to Jurong Point within 45 mins!! We cycled frm limbang to JP. actually we cycled to Jurong East, den still early, onli 430, so we went on to JP, which took 15 mins. We practically chiong. Estimated speed between 20-30 kmph. Maybe more. Nt sure. Reach JP we stay there drink sth, den walk walk, be4 cycling home. We took different route and end up wif the long route for me by directly going to BP, make me haf to go Teck Whye that road detour home. Sian..

Haf you ever thought of your reason for living? Isit because of a fear of emptiness if you die? Or wad else? I'm not sure of my reason for living. There is like a deeper meaning to living, it aint just walking through your life. But now, I feel like I'm just walking through my life. Not realli noticing the details, and I know I will regret it later. But what can I do? I think I am too lazy to notice the details. Then again, what is life abt? I dun get it. Why are we slogging away studying? Does it garuntee good money? Rly, wad is the point of it when you do not even enjoy. Isn't life supposed to be enjoyable? It is afterall a once in a lifetime opportunity, you are not going to be given another go at it. So after this its Game Over. What I think mani ppl are doing now, is not living, but merely existing. They are not contributing anything or enjoying this life they have. Ok, nth else to post... Just exhausted all my brain cells, need recuperation.

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Watched I Not Stupid Too today. Well, I dun rly wanna spoil it for those who nv watch, so suffice to say that its one realli funny show. There are sad parts too, but minimal, and the message behind the movie is v meaningful.

I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in a sea. I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me. Now you know why when you ask me what I'm waiting for and I always reply with for the sky to fall down. Lol, I love that line!! Actually, I dunno why I want to post today at all, I dun haf a concrete topic. Oh wait, got another one. Today I broke a new specs I bought in Malaysia for $99 sing dollars. Jeez, cheapo stuff! First time I broke a specs. I placed my elbow above it by accident, then one side of the "leg" snapped, so I just kept the broken "leg" and den was playing arnd wif wad was left, den I snapped the other "leg". ZzZ. Had to ask my mom pass me my other specs if not cannot see properly and cannot watch movie. Oh, got another thing. I paid for a ticket on Mon, but fell sick on Tues, and den Mr Tan wanted all class chairman to pass an updated list of ppl going for the movie on Tues, so Ong ask WP if i paid, den WP said I did not, so in the end sarbo me no ticket. Den I told Ong and he told Mr Tan, and I got a ticket..... for a show in Lot 1. Den I went arnd trying to trade tickets plus xtra $12, and no one in my class wanted, so I jacked it up to $24, and still no one wanted. And then, I raised it by 2 times, $50!!! AND STILL NO ONE WANTED!!! Wow, den I was quite despo for ticket, so later WP gave me his and I followed him go buy another ticket. First went 4P2, den got ppl want to sell for $24, but another girl for 5A sold for $6, so in the end both of us got tickets.

Wanna learn frm WP how to talk to girls, yes, I am serious abt trying to be able to communicate wif girls. I rly dunno how to... I dun feel natural arnd them... Den WP say just cock... But some girls dun like cock, and cock abt wad, wif bois I can do it easily... Actually, onli boys I know. I too anti-social... bzzz.. Looking for more songs to add to my wantlist, so I can subscribe to a dl site and den dl those music I want. Legal of course. It's getting late and I think I shud be heading to bed. Btw, its rather cooling this time of the year, so I suggest y'all open the windows and not turn the air-con on. I found this out when i got sick and the air-con made me sneeze and haf a running nose. So, turned off the air-con and let in the fresh air. Wow, it was rly great, so now I am sleeping without air-con. V EZ oso, wake up dun need open door close door, be4 slp dun need close windows close door and find air-con remote. Yeah, the perfect slacker solution.. Well, I need to sleep liaoz, chao!

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Sick

Oh no. Fell sick again.. Nv go school today, actually fell sick on Monday. Wanna know how I got sick?? WAHHAHA, Dun tell.. LOL! Monday was one realli bad day for me. Sick liao still go school. Come home frm choir den felt the exhaustion. Nv eat sleep liao. Slept until 11 wake up drink sth read papers slp again. Wake up 6:00, felt v exhausted and ache everywhere, and fever, den went back to slp again. Wake up 8:30 go see doctor. Now feeling better liao, though still feel sleepy. Mus be the medicine.

I want to share my joy, ur joy, wif u. I want to shoulder your burden. I want to hold up your sky. I will lend you what strength I have, share ur dreams, delighting in them being fulfilled. I want to be there, when you need me. But.. Who will be with me, when I need company?

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He never noticed her; they were in the same CCA for about 4 months now. Their life had been in parallel. So close, yet he never saw her. They were but a couple of centimeters away from each other. It wasn’t, until one day, that he noticed her, knew of her existence.

It had been the same; choir was like a routine, practice section by section. Though it was a routine, he enjoyed it, but not when the teacher began giving a long dreary reprimand. Out of boredom, he began looking around. If only, he had not. If only, the teacher had not reprimanded. Or perhaps, he would still have come to know her. But it was so, that he first lay eyes on her, and immediately, he was smitten. He knew it was love at first sight, for cupid has struck an arrow cleanly into his heart. No bleeding, the arrow was perfect, filling every crevice of the heart, allowing no space for leaking of blood. The arrow stuck, even now, a year later. That will come later. For now, he felt high, in a dream, for surely, he had seen an angel.

The days passed, and he longed, for the day with choir. During choir, he would sneak glances at her. Slowly, she grew more and more beautiful. She was the image of poise, innocence. She was pure, and a lady-like aura exuded from her. To him, she felt like someone from the upper caste. Hating to admit it, he felt undeserving of her, like a toad lusting over a swan. Such was the inner thought, that he dared not meet her eyes. Always, when she looked to his direction, he would look elsewhere, not even daring one second to look into her eyes. If he did, he would likely be drawn deep, into a trance, tossed into dreamland.

He began to inquire about her, doing it with indifference, to prevent suspicion. He approached his best friend, to inquire her email address. However, he did not know. It was until a week later that he stumbled upon her email, while chatting with one of her friends. They began chatting, but only online, they never talked with each other in real life. Then, came the day when the last choir session of the holidays ended, and from that day on until school reopened, his heart opened a huge hole, draining the life out of him. He longed to see her again, but he was being eaten alive by the hole in his heart. Every night, he would think of her, and that only hasten the growth of the hole. He kept his love for her a secret, but it was dying to come out. He could not hold it in, and he told one of his friends.

School reopened, with hope, he looked at the placing of classes, he hoped, to see her name, in his class. However, it was not to be. Only later, did he found out that if only he had taken the physical stream, then he would be in the same class as her. How Fate cruelly plays with one’s feelings. And then, the Pandora’s box opened. His friend revealed the secret. Before long, most of his and her friends knew, and he grew very embarrassed, such that he did not even there look at her for a few days, even if she did not look at him. However, the bright side was she still chatted with him, but he could feel the coldness, the remoteness. Perhaps there never was much amiable atmosphere. He began to despair, and it did not help that she just seemed to grow prettier and prettier with each passing day.

Though she made it very clear she would not like him, he kept holding on to a dream that will probably never come true. Slowly, but surely, he began to lose faith in dreams, in love, in everything he ever thought. He recalled, how naïve he had been last time. He had steadfastly assured himself he would never fall in love, until he has finished Junior College, however, he was proven wrong. How sneaky love can be, like a Stealth Assassin, it sneaks up behind our protagonist and backstabs him, casting cloud to silence him, such that he could not refuse it. Forever silenced and clouded he will be.

The situation soon worsened, as he could not stop thinking of her, and he could not concentrate on his schoolwork. The harder he tried to forget about her, the harder her memory lay etched into his mind. It is pretty ironical that the harder you try to forget something, the harder you remember it. Soon, he gave up all effort of trying to forget her. But the pain in his heart persisted, and suicidal thoughts were at the door of his mind. Choir provided a reprieve, for it was during choir, that he was in close proximity with her, and he could feel her soothing aura, which temporarily heals the scar on his heart. It was a cycle, it would heal, and throughout the weak, the scar was savagely torn open. And then it healed again. Love was playing a game with him, a game that was not fun to him. Soon, love had gained a persona in his mind. He began scolding aloud at it, swearing at it, cursing it. He knew full well, it was just his hallucinations, but he hated love so much.

He began modifying lyrics of songs, hoping for the pain to go away and flow out into the song. But it only made the situation worse. He thought even more of her. Her image was like a never-ending knock on his door. Banging, causing no chance of reprieve. He exhausted all his means of trying to forget her, trying to stop the incessant knocking. With finality, he started to lose hope and slip into darkness.

A sad light shone, turning into white wings that cut through the darkness. It lifted, and he felt lighter. The love for her remained, but for some reason, he felt free. Could it be he lost his mind? Or had he reached Shangri-La? Even now, he is not sure, he still looked at her, but a nagging voice at the back of his mind reminded him he was not worthy. It was probably he had seen that he would never be worthy of her that brought him out of darkness. He tried to blend in so she would not know him, he tried to disappear from her sight, but his heart aches for her when apart. The scar was still there, forever etched onto his heart, there would be no healing, except by her. He will never be whole again. By now, her visage had grown into a goddess to him. One thing that Love does very well is it plays games with a person, but always leaving an escape route. Love never pushes a person over the cliff. Love played this game very well, and everyone is a prey to it.

One year of suffering passed, the darkness that lifted soon came back, again, during the holidays. She was like a drug, if he was withdrawn from her, there would be withdrawal symptoms. The morning and afternoon passed as normal, but during the night, he would sit up on his bed and break into fits of sobs. Everyday was a pattern, before he slept a wave of sorrow would sweep through every fibre and muscle of his body, causing him to shake in sobs. A never-ending sea of tears fought to gush out, he would break down and reach the brink of insanity, and then the memory would fade, bringing him out of sorrow. Love was tentatively playing with him, but always offering an escape route, relentless though it seems, it will not push a person over the edge. Soon, it became a torture just to stay at home, he longed for school, to see her face again. Towards the end of the holidays, like a ray of light, it pierced through his sorrow, the realization that there is no point in crying, for crying will never bring her to like him. So, all his energy was put into working hard, and waiting. She became a figure of motivation, motivating him to work hard, to be successful.

Our protagonist is still waiting and working hard. Even now, their lives are still in parallel, it never met, though in infinity, it might meet. I came to know of this when he approached me to tell me of it. So I became someone he could confide in, and I promised not to reveal it. Though I did “reveal” it, I did not state his name, it could be just a story, a memory, a hallucination, or it could have happened. This “he” came to me and talked to me. For you see, he is one of my good friends, and I believe he treats me as one. How Love likes to tear someone into shreds and leave him to pick up the broken pieces of his life. All I can do is to offer encouragement; the broken pieces have to pick up by him. Should the girl accept him someday, surely the broken heart would heal, the pieces magically fitting together seamlessly forming a whole, his spirit would be healed, but we can only pray for such a day. For remember, Love is cruel, it works hand in hand with Fate and plays a game with people’s hearts. Don’t be one of its victims.

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TY that coward removed comments frm his blog and dun wanna put tag. But that is NOt wad I gonna blog abt, wasting space and time anywaes. Apparently, TY has misread the content in the previous post, so I put it in layman's terms. I am pissed NOT at waiting 10 mins, I dun mind waiting an hour. What I was pissed at was all of u can wait 10-30 mins for some1 in the clan, but cant even wait 5 mins for me? Not to mention, TJ actually does not go out often wif us. Do you GET IT or NOT. Also, value is not measured in what you contribute to a clan or wadeva, partly, but more value is added if you are a true friend, true friends care for each other, of course not to the point of dying for ea. other, that wld be lame, but showing concern when a fren is ill, or try to cheer him/her up when he/she is down. This is how you ADD value to yourself in that person's life. Sure, helping that person do things and give benefits definitely increases the value, but not significant. It is the EQ that adds the most value. Having said that, the previous post was written to piss you all off, I was pretty sure it will piss TY off. Sometimes, when ur angry, u get the feeling u want to make others angry too to make u feel happy. I guess that was wad I was thinking at that time, and you got pissed, which made me veri amused. Ya, I am a saddist and I wanted to transfer my unhappiness away.

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I just realised how anger realli works. Something pisses you off, but not enuff to make you rly mad, but once the fire has started, it will slowly burn and den get bigger and bigger. Soon, every small thing that does not go your way starts to piss you off.

I was realli angry today as I went home. I was angry at my "friends". In fact, I am starting to think that they do NOT even treat me as a friend. I am obv not angry at them for eating in the canteen and not in somewhere where I want to eat. Normally, I will just follow suit and eat in the canteen. But today, I got SO mad that I just left them. I got mad, because they waited for Ting Jun. Not entirely for that reason, I got nothing against Ting Jun, but the fact that they are willing to wait like 15-30 mins for Ting Jun and not even wait 5 mins for me made me VERI angry. I felt cheated. Why shud I care for them. THey can go and die for all I care. In fact, frm now on, if you do not care abt me, I am NOT going to care about you. I will say hurtful things and I am not going to care about how you feel. I shud have done this long ago. But it already became part of my character to be nice to pple and I HATE that. CUS I KEEP GETTING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! I wld prefer my Pri school frens. THose are true frens, not my twisted Sec school frens. Now, I onli count WP as my friend, the rest, I am NOT going to care, they are my DotA mates. NOTHING else. Maybe Dexter, but I was nv close to Dexter to start of wif.

NEways, as I walked out of school, small things that dun bother me bothered me alot. Like pple in my way while walking, normally I wld just walk off the pavement, but today, I banged into them. It was on purpose of course, but I was too angry to care about anyone. I felt like I cld kill some1 if they wld be in my way even for 10 seconds. While walking I thought to myself, what wld happen if ppl in my life were to die or disappear. My summary:

Glenn- I will stop playing DotA
Dexter- I will notice it, and maybe just feel sth lost
Wei Zhong- I wun notice it
Tay Yi- I will notice, I wun care
Wen Pu- I think I will cry and will definitely feel very sad and I might even quit school. School will definitely not be the same without him. Definitely my best friend.
Grace- I dunno, cus I am a newbie to love.
Family- Self-explanatory, I will definitely feel sad.

I think TY is pretty dumb. I mean, I dun even think Glenn and the rest actually cares about him. Why does he keep wanting to go wif them if they dun care about him? In fact, I think TY is worse off than me, but dunno why he still holding on to them. I think TY shud try to change them or just heck care about them. That's wad I intend to do, but nt sure if i can do it for I hate loneliness. I think I will just stick wif WP now. Maybe I shud attach value to ppl now.

Glenn- I wun lose a DotA game wif him
Dexter- Livens atmosphere
Wei Zhong- No value
Tay Yi- No value
Wen Pu- Priceless, friend, some1 I can confide in, companion

Most of my anger already dissipated. Thks to time and my dog. Actually, my blog has proven that men's best friend is an animal. My best friend now is my dog and Wen Pu. If my "friends" find what I posted offensive, good, since I even descended to hating you all for about 10-15 mins, right now is just pissed. If not, I dun care. This is all I want to blog about.

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Growing

Growing
You entrust your body into the current
Which swiftly brings you to adulthood
Slowly, surely you become dirty
Tainted by the traps of reality

Once covered in daydreams
We visioned a wonderful world
Like climbing up a tall ladder
Only to be pushed down from above

The higher we climb
The harder we fall
The harder we fall

The dirtier we become

Humans destroy
Humans kill
Humans conquer
There's nothing they won't do

All these
You learn while growing
Tainted your thinking becomes
And surely, you become like above.

dotx, sth I thought of out of lameness. That was written in 5 mins? SO it may sound like rubbish, but that was what was going through my mind for the weekend. This actually came into my mind one day while I was walking home, and in the lift, I saw a few young kids with their parents. And the kids were laughing and talking about childish stuff, but it can be seen they are really happy and innocent. Why is it that when we grow up, we have to remove the innocense and don a mask of cunning. Why should we conform to this society where everyone is masking their true face, hiding their true intentions. I admit I do hide alot of things, but I do make an effort to be open, much to my dislike. And that is why I can be rather straight. If I dun like you, I will not pretend in front of you. I will say it straight to your face. And if I like you, well, I will not hide it either. At least I will try not to hide it. Cus I do not believe in conforming to this society where everyone is wearing a mask of cunningness. However, if you do not do so you wld be easily cheated, I guess that is why when one person does it everyone follows in order not to be cheated.

I do not realli want to post crap down here, but I get the irresistable urge to do so to make this post long, but I guess that is beside the point, cus there wld den be no point reading on. My weekend been rather dull, in between games were piano, tuition, finishing of homework, etc. Today is one amazing day, why? Because it rained from 9:00AM all the way to 9PM!!! wow, 12 hrs rain NON STOP!! actually, its been raining since I dunno when, but when I woke up it was already raining. INSANE rite?? Which actually makes this day rather cool (figuratively and literaly), cus I can sleep so easily today and the whole environment is so conducive to read books. In fact, it is SO conducive I finished my copy of National Geographic in ONE day!! Also, throughout the weekend, I finished 2 other books, Skeletal Key and Stormbreaker. Am reading another book called East of Eden, which is abt 600 pages long, eek, gonna haf to struggle through it. This is gonna be one hectic year for me as I try to catch up on my work. Just found out that Dex is also aiming NJC!! WOoHOO!! Lets hope both of us can get in. My mom is rushing me to off the comp liao, so stop typing here.

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Shocked, Irate.

Just read TY's latest post and I was SHOCKED!! I mean, I can't believe he actually feels compassion for another!! Woah, I gonna view him in a different light, I always thought he veri spoilt, dun consider others. TY if u read this u shud be honoured!! ok, enuff of that...

Today nth much to post abt school, choir kinda bad cus my throat decided to quit on me and towards the end I just mumbled the song, since if I raise my voice sure out of tune. Den when whole thing over my throat felt so sore and pain, wanted to gulp water down but water onli made it worse. After that, we waited for Dexter outside, thought it will onli be awhile, but end up take some time, den when he come out, turned out again that he had to go to canteen to further discuss wadeva matters they had. So we just left the school loh. While walking to Lot 1 surprise surprise, we met TY riding his bike!! Oh my Gosh, den we were like TY U LAME-O. Glenn oso commented that TY had too much time cycle to school to taunt us.

After that, the rest decided they dun wan eat, den nvm loh, everyone went home. I called my mom to fetch me, but she hung up on me TWICE. Third time I called she was out, den after that I got rather irate (I know I should not). Actually is from the thought of having to walk home. It takes me 20-30 mins to walk home, so its not veri close. ANd I hate waiting, I am hyperactive, I prefer to keep moving, so naturally I chose to walk home. Throughout my whole walk I was VERI angry and thought of nothing but my anger, and come to think of it, I rly shudnt be angry, but I guess I also get mood swings no matter how immune I am to it normally. There might be other hidden factors that affected my mood but I dun wanna dwell into it nor do I rly haf any idea what they are.

What is the shortest distance between one point to another? Many would answer a straight line, but that is not true. The shortest distance between two points, is to fold the space between them so as to make the points meet and den u just cross over and flip open the space. You instantly transverse that whole portion. There are mani names for this form of travel, among which are Tesserect, and Warp (No, NOT teleportation, teleportation is different). That is actually the best solution to cover VAST distances in a matter of seconds, sth like travelling to the next galaxy from Earth. Fold the WHOLE distance between them and then cross over. There is a film on this form of travel, but its a horror film, revealing how scary it might actually be. This film is called Event Horizon. In the film, theres this ship called Event Horizon, the first known spaceship that is able to warp into another place. What it does is like I explained above. However, sth went wrong. Instead of crossing over, the ship appeared at the bottom of the loop, meaning it entered another dimension and bla bla bla, the ship turned evil and started killing everyone on board. I believe the "folding" is not physical but done in another dimension, allowing u to skip the distance and like cross over to the other point.

Nth else to crap about, so end here.

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More Random Thoughts

Got a picture of you that I carry in my heart. I close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark. If you ask me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine, but the truth is, if you could read my mind, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside my heart. I still wait for the phone, thinking that you might call, though for what reason I know not. It always amazed me how I can spend sleepless nights wishing you were next to me. In school, minutes turn to hours, and hours to days, whenever I do not see you.. Since its been forever, in fact, no historical precedent, that I've felt this way. Sometimes, I want to purge myself from these thoughts, but I cannot, my mind keeps wandering off. I have about as much control over my mind as I have control over the weather.

Today rained, so I cld not go cycling wif Clan LegO. Which is kind of sad since I totally have nothing to do at home, save lounge around on my sofa/bed and typing/updating my blog. It appears my post frequency during school terms is much higher. Can't help it, rly bored and so much more things to blog about. Tomorrow got choir, YES!! Today's lunch was special, we went to pizza hut to eat. Everyone had to fork out $8, stupid service charge. ACtually, we clda gotten 4 free chicken drumlets, but me n my big mouth I blurted out there was extra chicken, so the waitress went to count and realised her mistake, confiscating them. THen I think the others sorta blamed me, cus they clda haf 1 xtra drumlet each. Cannot help it waaaad, last time found HP oso return, nv even thought of keeping it.

Today during recess knocked into Grace again, Sorry!! Crap, den I came down late due to PE and the others nv wait for me, plus long queue, end up I never eat. So I starved until lunch. Wen Pu starve wif me oso, LOL!! End of school dunno where Wen Pu go and we went off without him. I did not realised he wasnt wif us until we nearly reach Lot 1 when I realised I did not see him nor hear him. LOL!!! Harhar, den actually TY shud eat pizza wif us, but we scared him off by pressuring him to treat us. LOL!!! Nvm, Dun care. But the pizza soooo expensive. like dble the price of student meal in mac loh. Today oso had the first lesson wif VLee, and frankly, he is veri funny. He remind me of WP loh, wif his egoistic comments and his jokes remind me of dexter.

Nth else to post, so sign off here.

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First Day of School

Today is the first day of school, and there were alot of changes. For one, our timetable has changed tremendously. We now have 1 hr time slots and bla bla bla, school ends at 2:10 for everyone now, WOOHOO!!! I now have shorter sch time and EVERYONE end same time as me!! WOOTS!! Another thing is the MASS change of teachers.
VLee, Mrs Hoe, Mr Osgodby, Ms Tan, among others.

Of course, a change of classrooms, we now have the cabin classrooms which I do not really like. ITS so cold.. If not for the light above me radiating considerable heat I wld be frozen, like in FTP when I was right at the back with the air con at full blast blowing at me.

What a fool I've been, I dunno about tomorrow, yet I keep feeling its a better one. I was sure, not to let myself to go, even though I feel the end. I keep holding on desperately to a thin thread in everything I do. Foolishness precedes my every move, so do not follow. First day of school did brought abt some rather inviting things. Like, for the first time since the last choir pract I saw Grace, and for the first time since my last DotA competition Clan LegO sat together and ate in Mac, and for the first time since last week Clan LegO went cycling frm BP to BPGHS, and for the first time since the last day of FTP Clan LegO walk that road between BPGHS and Lot 1. Indeed, it brings back fond memories. This thurs there is choir and I am so excited!! I want to ask Yong to do Dragostea Din Tei, since its like absolutely the COOLEST song of 2005. Numa numa on everyone!!

Actually, the chorus of that song goes like Vrei sa pleci dar numa numa iei, numa numa iei, numa numa numa iei. It actually means You want to leave but you do not do not, do not do not, do not do not do not want to take me. Such funny lyrics!! And the title means Love by the Linden Trees. Well, I asked Glenn n the rest what is their target JC and they were all vague otherwise no answers at all. Dex actually aimed PJC. ANd we were like joking at TY saying he dun rly need 2 study that hard, just pay ACJC 50000 dollars and they will take him in. LOL!! Today cycling, I did sth rly dumb. I was cycling to my basement to put my bike after the trip, and I was like holding my HP and wallet in one hand and the other controlling the bike. I slowed down as there was a hump in front, but it seems, I did not slow down enough. End up, I hit that hump, back of my bike flew up, tossed me in front, and poor me who is desperately protecting my HP and wallet took the full brunt of that assault. I fell headfirst, of course I did not hit my head due to my UBER quick reflexes (I am of course, exaggerating), I placed my hand in front to stop my fall, so my hand kinda got whacked rly hard and it hurts, plus my legs were injured. My right leg hit my bike and haf a bruise, plus my Left Leg slow down my slide by scratching the basement floor. The worst, is that I hit my crotch. OWW!! It still hurts now. I dunno where I hit it but it definitely has a lasting effect. I suspect I hit my bike handles. Darn that HUMP!!! Ok, I sounded rather vulgar, haha..

New Year Resolutions (a.k.a character improvement)
1) ABSOLUTELY REMOVE ALL PROFANITIES FROM MY SPEECH (75%)
2) START STUDYING REALLY HARD AND DO ALL MY HOMEWORK (0%)
3) GET INTO NJC (0%)
4) WOO GRACE OVER (-100 %) And im j/king.
5) WIN A DOTA COMPETITION WITH CLAN LEGO (50%)
6) REMAIN A TRUE FRIEND TO ALL MY FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO (10%)
7) TRY TO BE MORE FRIENDLY (0%)

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