Retrospect : EMO 1

This week past by quite un-eventfully. I miss school. I want to be studying again. Saturday went out wif TJ Dex and XY to watch movie at cineleisure. We wanted to watch knowing but in the end watched Fast and Furious because the there were no seats left. Sigh, nxt week then can watch Knowing. Fast and Furious was kind of... Ho-hum to me.. I think I'm just not into racing... And if i wanted to watch a show about wreckage and mayhem, transformers would be better.

Before the movie started, we went to play pool, TJ and I, XY and Dex. Quite fun la, playing wif friends haha, I think pool is just a game to socialise with buddies. I rmb last time I went with my class I was bored to tears. Not a nice thing to say but it's just what I feel.. ANyways, I sarbo TJ lose 2 games, sad.. First one we were winning by a large margin, den I accidentally hit the black ball in. ZZZ.. Last game cause we were rushing for time, movie starting soon. So I keep giving them free ball, end up lose. But, tis ok, friendly game anyway.

Sat was definitely the highlight of the week. Today I went to BPP on a mission. After that I went to Glenn's house to ka jiao him and jolene. but in the end I played on his comp for awhile den chatted wif him about army stuff. nth much, stayed there about 1 hr 30 mins. After that met my family for dinner.

Sigh, I've been feeling very tired these days. Both physically and emotionally. Mainly cause my soul is so tired that my body becomes lethargic. Sigh, I just want to lay down and rest already... 18 yet I feel like 80, waiting for death's embrace. I think my depression is setting in again... Funny how the psychiatrist can't see that I'm actually feeling depressed. I'm not supposed to feel this way, I've already talked myself into believing that time can solve problems, but I guess I'm too impatient. I keep telling myself to wait, endure this time, good things come to those who wait, yet i see around me, good things come all the time to people, why is it I can't seem to be happy...

I'm thinking of going back to church, hopefully God can help me. But I'm actually quite fustrated with Him. Sigh, oh me of little faith... Now I'm just praying He would take my life. I feel myself at a dead end again, with the walls closing in around me, sigh, I wish time would just stop. Anyway, life is so meaningless now...