I would like to borrow strength that You could lend, to keep my head above the water and not descend back to where I said I'd never go again. I can't do it on my own strength, I'm already feeling so tired just preventing myself from being emo. I have to keep forcing myself to be happy. If I feel so tired, I can't study, sigh..

And I just wanna get mugged at knife point, to get cut enough to wake me up. Cause I know that I don't wanna die sitting around watching my life go by. And what we take from this is what we'll get but we haven't quite figured it out just yet. BEcause all of us are all too stuck, stuck to a chair watching our lives blow up.

I think I need to do something crazy. I should just live like there's no tomorrow. Haha I think I'm really cursed XD.. I know I'm capable of alot of things, if only I apply myself to it. Maybe O levels ain't a good guage haha, 9 points without studying is good I guess. Promoting with ABBCE studying 1 wk beforehand is also good I think. And I'm very sure I have a split personality HAHA! Anyway, I wish I was never born haha. And it amazes me how I can shut my mind to girls and instantly lose feelings. Cool man. Yeah, I guess its good to be an iNtuition Feeling, good inner world XD. Creative yep!! That's why I'm gonna make a breakthrough in science next time!

I don't even know what I'm typing but random thoughts that are popping inside my head. Yay, maybe I have manic depression!! Cool. I always thought what it would be like since the symptoms just seems so cool. Bipolar disorder haha. I shall not emo! Though I do not have the strength, the Lord would lend me His strength, and I believe I will not b emo!! WOots! Yay, I believe I have strong endurance. I bet other people commit suicide already! See, I'm still alive and well MUHAHAHA!!! I should congratulate myself more often, gives me morale to fight on yay. I guess girls make good friends but not partners haha. Dogs make the best partners. I shall buy a dog after my NS. And I shall leave my millions for it! And of course I'll burn the rest. I will NEVER donate money to the poor! NEVER NEVER NEVER! Cause I hate humans. They can die for all I care. It's going to be all about ME ME ME from now on. MUHAHAHA! We live in a world where individual is the most important! Lala, I feel so excited to go to uni, I wanna learn so many things. I think I'll just spend my life learning, taking degree after degree haha. So much to learn so little time.