Sad..

Haiz.. Posting again cus of boredom and i dunno wad to do. Silence and loneliness is a terrible thing.. Just listened to the song The Sound of Silence.. Nice piece of song.. And i just thought of how lonely my life has been.. And sometimes silence can be so unbearable.. I dun think I have any true friend in all my life. One that can listen to all my troubles without getting tired. Because I bet Everyone on this Earth will die of listening to all my troubles. Cus i simply have too many.. And I am too lazy to type them all onto this blog. While listening to the song. I found that silence is never a good thing. Just like in Dota. When the map looks eerily silent like no heros coming. There bound to be an ambush. ok. i cant believe how little my friend can do for me. like waiting 5 minutes while i finish my drink? no. they just left. and i had to walk home alone. again. and i know that the closest i have to a true friend is wen pu. he rly did alot for me. and for that i am very thankful. most of my other friends are like just for hanging out together. i wun share my real sorrows wif them. nope. ok, i just make friends sound like some kind of benefit or item. but, i will do alot for my fren. and frens are give and take. u take their companionship and also a listening ear. but u haf to lend a listening ear to them also. and i seriously dun mind. just that, some pple just keep talking abt themselves. what abt me? u are nt the only one wif troubles here. and i am in much more a dilemma. why must life get so complicated. why cant it be as simple as eat, sleep, live, and die. no worries. why must life be full of stupid things like love. i call it stupid cus its love is NOT sweet at all, contrary to most pple beliefs. its stupid. absolutely. u know. i kinda think love is a stealth assasin hiding in the dark. when u least expect it, he comes along to backstab u. and den. u are in alot of trouble after that.

actually. i haf a true fren. and that is my dog. he nv gets tired of listening to me complaining. and nv makes dumb comments like other pple. he just listens to me patiently without interupting. without him, i probably wld haf gone crazy. i guess thats why mans best fren is a dog and not another man. some things are true after all. but most things in life is a lie. u are just living a lie. there is nothing at the end of the road when u die. i think. u are made to torture in life to make heaven heaven. get it? its abit confusing but read it again and u will understand. or. i can break it down. if life was a bed of roses. wldnt it make it close to heaven? no suffering, death, illness. if so, den wldnt it be heaven on earth or shangri la. maybe dats why life is so tough. i dunno why but i feel so retarded. i think. i am just another among billions of others useless pple. in fact. i dun see usefulness in pple AT all. they destroy the place they live in. they dun give thanks to things provided to them. they slaughter everything. even themselves. i guess the gamemaster, God, made it abit more balance. by making them kill themselves. but it is still imbalanced. maybe its time to tune humans down more. so that the balance in this world is better achieved. right now the scales are tipped to humans. and they are destroying everything. given a super weapon, i bet the humans will self destruct themselves along wif the universe without thinking twice. so whats the use of a big brain. a primitive brain wld haf served this world much better.

"I dont wanna be lonely anymore.."

"I dont wanna be angry anymore.."

rage. anger. sorrow. among the many converging feelings in myself. i dunno how to sort myself out. i am just making myself drunk in games so i wun think too much of my stupid life. one which i see no point in. haiz. shall numb my feelings more in dota..