Another emo post lol...

Oook.. This feels so deja vu. Like it's 14 all over again. Thinx only Jaye knows what I'm talking abt. Sigh, so no mood to do anything now. So what happened, I guess when u took a right turn and I took a left turn and now we're in parallel. Sigh, and I'm stargazing all of a sudden. What's wrong with that? Astro do it all the time. I don't know, cept it bothers me alot. I start thinking of weirdish stuff that makes no sense and by the second gets more and more irrelevant. It's like I have a trojan in my system that's opening lots and lots of pointless programmes just to screw with me.

I think feelings are the bane of life. True that it's the colour of a painting but a bad colouring can ruin a perfectly drawn picture. I think you can tell how screwed up my state of mind is just by reading what I'm typing, I don't even know if I'm making rational statements or just gibberish. I think I've reached "Nirvana" where fantasy and reality is merged and now I can't tell what is real and what isn't. Surreal is not the word I'm looking for. It's like walking on the line between dream and reality. FOr WC3 players, that's sth like the Emerald Dream. For layman, I guess u can say its like treading the line between life and death.

..... I can't stop myself from stargazing .....

Maybe because beyond the stars I will see heaven. Where dream becomes reality. I just want to ditch this shithole and climb out of the nightsoil. Most of the time, I'm just thinking, why can't I be someone else. Why do I have to be me and why do other ppl get to be themselves.