Suddenly, out of the blue, I feel like doing a bioshock review. Sry if I'm rather vague since its been months since I've played it.

SPOILER ALERT!!!! Fanboys of bioshock, you will not like this review, you have been warned.











Ok, the game definitely impressed me at the start. Your plane crashes into the ocean in the middle of the night, and you are the only survivor. The game instantly shows you what it does best, water effects. And believe me, the water is GORGEOUS. It really makes you feel like jumping into it. Ok, water aside, you are supposed to swim to this island with a weird looking observatory. Once inside, the door shuts behind you and it's pitch black. Lights switch on and the first thing you see is "No Government, No God, Only Man". Scary huh. You then have to climb into a bathysphere where you are treated to a video about Rapture and you get to see the city from the outside, reminiscence of the tram ride in Half Life and Half Life 2.

Welcome to Rapture

You dock, and the game decides to scare you by showing you your first splicer killing its victim. Splicers are humans that have gone deranged due to genetic modification, and they look disgusting. So the devs decide to scare you by making it jump onto your bathysphere and proceed to cut it open. I was kinda afraid that it would get in since I have no weapon and I thought the game would start with a chase sequence. Luckily, that is not the case, anyway, you are quickly given your first weapon, the wrench (IMO, best weapon in the game). Den you get to beat the crap out of your first splicer. Next you are given your first much hyped plasmid, the electroshock or whatever. The game then teaches you the one-two punch, which is shock, and whack using your wrench. About 1 hour into the game you'll learn that apart from the fanciful effects of plasmids, there is absolutely NO use of them.

Medical Pavillion

You meet your first Big Daddy Little Sister pair, the cover picture for the game. The game makes it weaker of course, since its your first, then comes the much hyped moral dilemma, to kill or save the little sister. I chose kill of course, and the screen turns green with some weird bug sounds and when the screen clears you are holding some sluglike thing. Man, if it's even supposed to be a moral dilemma at least make the person feel bad for killing the girl!!!! Killing the little sisters net you Adam, which is the currency to upgrade yourself, which IMO, is utterly useless anyway, you just need to max out your health upgrade and that's it. Of course i totally enjoyed the first 3 hours of the game, when the guns were STILL USEFUL. After Arcadia I realised how weak guns were. I headshot them, WTH they are still alive! Nvm, another headshot, OMG THEY ARE STILL KICKING! Ok seriously its pissing me off, One more headshot, finally that splicer drops. JEEZ! I decide to go berserk and switched to my wrench. Guess what? I ran up to the splicer and whack him, and he dies! 1 hit! My point? Guns are just there for show, the wrench is all you need. Rly, and the rest 8 hours of the game I used the wrench and sprinted through the level clobbering everyone I see. Like why make a SHOOTER when the melee weapon owns the guns. The game decidedly got less and less creepy and even comical! hey, this is the game that's supposed to scare the gajeebers out of me. It even scared the PCGamer reviewer! It barely even made me flinch as I sprinted methodically through the game clobbering every goofy splicer I see.

Before long, you FINALLY confront the guy who has caused you to trudge through the rather repetitive levels killing rather repetitive enemies using the rather repetitive kill formula. Andrew Ryan. Oh boy! It's finally ending! I was expecting a tough boss fight. I inched my way to his room. Cutscene. Bla bla bla. "Would you kindly". Ok, so when am I going to fight him? The cutscene takes a twist, I'm given a golf bat and I can't control myself, I start beating him up and when the cutscene ends and I've gained control, he's dead. Er? Boss fight? Amazing, the game was easy up to now and they just made the boss so lame. Atlas screams into the radio, STOP THE BLAST SEQUENCE!!!! Fine anything to end this game... I sprinted to the controls and turned off the blast sequence. Good riddance. Oh, now Atlas reveals himself to be the true baddy, Fontaine. Great, how much more must I put up with? after a few more hours of mindless wrenching mindless splicers, I reached the FINAL boss, Fontaine. Wooooo, I was sooooo ready for a good fight. I planted mines at his seat and activated the cinematic. He jumps out..... and appears back at his seat. WTH? Omg, the game scared me for the first time, is it a bug? Dun tell me I must play through the parts I've just trudged through again! Oh wait, no, my mines were so powerful that he killed himself leaping onto them. Amazing. Wads more amazing I must fight him 3 times. The last 2 fights was equally boring. I just used the chemical thrower and repeatedly shocked him with it until he dies. Sigh LAME. And this game is supposed to be the Game of the Year? Really, if it is then I cannot imagine the other games.

After playing through Bioshock, I figured it has 1 pitfall that utterly made it boring for me.

Ans: The Wrench.

It's too overpowered, plus the upgrades you get for it pretty much makes your other weapons look like toy guns. Those who have unfortunately purchased bioshock, play it through again but this time, Fill up your combat tonics with wrench jockeys. You'll be amazed at how easily you can kill a BIg Daddy with your wrench. Equipping the wrench makes all the enemies lame, and also it takes out the scare since you just charge through the level whacking everything u see. where's the fun in that? And if you decide to use guns it annoys the heck out of you because the guns are just so weak u suspect if its firing pellets instead of bullets! Sigh, I feel so cheated by the reviews from PCGamer and IGN. For those of you seeking a better shooter, I suggest Call of Duty 4 and Crysis. They are definitely aeons better.



Sigh, feeling v sad that I can't go South Korea. No more air tickets. Sigh...