Girls are evil.
I think Dogs are angels sent from heaven to keep ppl happy. To love those who are broken.
Girls are evil, they appear so friendly to you. When they find out you like them, they do a complete 180. Does it matter that much? Having someone liking you will kill you?
I've lost faith in girls already. Can they be trusted? Before you say anything, stop, think twice, thrice. She may seem very friendly with you, you think ur rather close friends, can be considered good friends. Don't let that deceive you. The moment you admit liking her, that "friendship" turns to "fiendship". Of course, the girl would argue that it's like weird to be around with a guy that likes you if you do not have feelings for him. Well, think of it another way, he's been liking that girl for some time already, it's just SECRETLY. So, nothing much will change actually, just make clear your meaning, and you can still be friends. THere's rly no need for the 180 change of heart. I might be over-generalising here. But that's the feel they give me.
Feeling rly down today, maybe cause its V-day tmr. maybe. and cause of events today too.
Sometimes I want to ask God, why put me on this earth to suffer. i don't pity those africans, they live without feeling much pain and die. they die young, they dun experience as much pain as I would have to go through. sometimes i want to ask God, why not take me home. I'm so sick of this life.

Today's crosscountry. The event was ok, i decided to run. that's about it, didnt wanna slack. prob cause lionel didnt wanna slack, so i also run wif him. throughout the whole event i was trying to find her, but instead, i found glenn's. after the run, whilst at our bags, as luck would have it, lionel spotted her, and he pointed her out to me. and, i did the most dastardly thing ever, i did not even say hi though she walked by me. even acquaintances say hi. den later on we're supposed to settle down in our houses. i wanted to stay on with glenn, but TKK members were wearing orientation shirt and i was wearing PE shirt, felt like it was too obvious i don't belong there. i saw her glancing our way. i said to glenn, i think i go find my house, and walked away. i turned around after walking a few steps, she moved in and talked to glenn. that moment, was like the sky came crashing down on me, like a kunai spearing my heart, like falling down into a deathpit, like the light in my life shutted out (how ironic she mentioned sth along these lines a few years ago). that very moment, my heart was mixed with sorrow, a sorrow so dark it makes the depression a joke, and hate. a hate of all things, a hate of myself, a hate so intense it was burning me inside out. and i kept it all inside like a covered test-tube with rubidium added to con HCl.

so who's to blame? her? sometimes i do blame her, but after more thinking, rly, the only person to blame is myself. i was too aimless when i was younger. if from primary 1, i knew what i wanted, or at least primary 4. things would be different now, maybe. but because this path is now closed, the outcome known, whilst other paths were still open and unknown, it makes sense that i should wish i had taken the other paths. that i would turn around and retrace my steps and take a different path. why can't humans travel in the 6th dimension?

and as i type this, i realise how futile complaining is. just as how futile complaining about anything to the govt is. complaining gets you nowhere. just wastes your time. and yet people still enjoy it. like a pastime. like a hobby.

psychiatrist always say, let it all out, don't keep it bottled up lest it should erupt like mount krakatoa did in 1883. anyway, this post is coming to an end, with just one last message left,

GP SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!