sick and tired of this world.. THere's no more air.. Trippin over myself going nowhere Waiting Suffocating No Direction and I took a dive...

Today was one super boring day. The dreary weather did not help to lighten things up either. Lessons were boring as usual, the first period was taken up by Science Quiz. So boring. Public Speaking was fun though. I talked abt things that I like. And I scored 8/10!! Today the Sec 4 received their O level results. This year my school did quite well. Their results are gonna be tough to beat. Haiz. And den the Sec 4s are made to stay back to watch the whole ceremony, which used up like 3 hours of time. Not that I would be doing much if I went home. I go home den felt SOOOOO bored. Glenn dun wanna play DotA and I had nothing else to do. Den I suffered frm Depression for awhile. Wonder why I never get mania. Always depression. Today didnt even get to cycle. Stuck at home is not my idea of relaxing. Plus tmr have piano lessons. 1 hr ++.. BORRING! And den not to forget A maths hw, Chi hw, EW.. ZzZ.. Enuff to make me feel bored for the weekend. Also, Glenn's internet connection seems to be having some problems. When he host games it is SOOOO laggy. Another thing that "Aided" my depression was I did not manage to land a role in the upcoming musical. Initially I did not care. Wonder why suddenly I care so much. I rather not care. Its making me feel so depressed. I want to talk to someone. But no one to talk to. End up I on my music and sing songs to ease the depression. Sing until I cry. So hug my dog and try to sleep for awhile. After resting felt better, but i was still VERY bored. ABSOLUTELY nothing to do. Today must be my WORST friday EVER. No doubt about it. And this would probably be my WORST weekend EVER. I pray I can struggle through this week. Suddenly the prospect of an upcoming holiday does not seem so happy after all. I might even be happier going to school. Since this year is an all important year, I MUST buck up. Mug up all the topics I lost out on last yr due to laziness. ESP A maths. My A maths is VERY weak. I just dun understand. I do SO much exercises. EVERY one of them VLee gives. I EVEN finish them ON TIME. Dun know anymore. WHy am I so stupid. Why am I so useless. Why am I even born. Why am I made to be tortured. I dun want this anymore. I HATE this life. It is SO freaking USELESS. I am useless. I think this has to do with my lost of dreams. Last time I used to dream every night... Now... I dun even dream anymore. I think my subconcious mind already lost faith in dreams. Dreams are but dreams and are never meant to be made into reality. For those whose dreams indeed become reality. Good for you. And I envy you. I guess I will remain an insignificant person at the bottom of the social ladder. My social ladder has lost all its rungs and I cant climb to the top. Someone pls add them back.... Pls.......