Read TY's post on ppl who can't make it.. So now I'm gonna post a variation.

WHY I HATE SINGAPOREANS:
1) They are SO SO SO SO INCONSIDERATE!!!!
2) They are FREAKING KIASU!!!!
3) They are damn ACT COOL!!!!
4) They are VERY SELFISH!!!

Actually, mainly they are very inconsiderate...

WHY I HATE SINGAPORE:
1) COS I HATE SINGAPOREANS!!!
2) There isn't 4 seasons...

Since I state why I hate them, I should be fair and state why I like them.

WHY I LIKE SINGAPOREANS:
1) They are of the same nationality as me.
2) That's about it....

WHY I LIKE SINGAPORE:
1) My friends are in Singapore
2) She is in Singapore
3) Eh, that's about it too!

Hence you can see why I wanna migrate overseas so much...





These past few days have been EMO days for me.. I keep thinking of what could have been, and what will not be. Today, saw some fat guy in the bus. So I was like thinking at least I'm better off compared to him, since it will be even harder for him to get the person he loves. However, upon deeper thought, I realised I'm no better off. Does it matter whether its easier or not to get the person you love? It's the end result that matters. I didn't. So, how does that make me better off? Nope, I'm the same.. I know its rly evil of me to say that.. But I was just stating my thoughts.. And its kind of a cliche..

I rly feel my life is getting RLY shitty. I just keep feeling depressed nowadays. Life doesn't seem to interest me anymore and I get bored in almost everything I do. I even thought of commiting suicide. I can rly understand what those ppl who commited suicide went through. Now I realise, it rly isn't dumb to end your life. If your life starts getting pointless you should just end it. Why bother living a pointless life that leads to the same end anyway. My social life is seriously screwed up now. Love life SUX big time, even relationship between friends are straining. At least I feel so. I start getting discontent with so many things. My family life sux too.

I'm not ashamed to admit that 3 days ago and on Friday I cried at night. I rly don't think I want to live in this shit any more.. And well, I cried cause I felt the helplessness. I don't know what I can do to change my circumstance. Actually, ppl reading this now may think that I sound perfectly all right and even analytical. Well, I am. Cause I run on Deca-core technology. I have practically 10 brains each have a profile saved in them. I can freely change between each mode but now the EMO mode is corrupting all the rest. Just somehow I can stand back and view my life as a slideshow and analyse each, though I still am feeling very depressed. I think this is gonna last at least 1 month, like 2 years ago. Sigh, dono when is the next night I'm gonna cry again... I just hope I dun commit suicide. There are just so many things I wanna try before dying. Like owning a dog, living in the States, heck, even sex. Sex is rather low on my list though cause I probably will not have it anyway. Hence, its more impt for me to live in the States and owning a dog. ANyway, if you actually read my blog for say at least a month you can guess why I cried. If you can't, then go read again and train your comprehension skills.

Sigh, I duno what I shud do now.... My life is rly failing badly... I wish I was born as someone else. I dun mind being poorer. Got a feeling today may cry again. Ytd didn't cause I didn't think much, too tired, just flopped on my bed and slept. I need my dog again... Sigh, my dog is still the one that understands me most. And its my dog thats still my best friend. And its my dog thats always there when I'm weakest. I can't trust humans... After 3 years, I still love her like it was ytd when I met her. I'm still very sure if I dun get over her I will not love another girl. Sigh, I rly dun wanna pretend like having girls around me matters. I rly dun care if my class outings have no girls, it makes no difference to me. I rly dun care my class have a pathetic 6 girls. I rly dun care how many pretty girls are there in ACJC. I rly dun care how many fishes are there in the ocean. What I care, is I wanted that one.

People say first love normally fails. Now I'm starting to wish Grace isnt the first girl I love. Just for consolation.. And still.. I have no idea how long this emo state is gonna last... Hopefully not the whole of my JC life, if not I think I'll go insane halfway. I need a break. A long break. Like 2-3 months. I need that break to sort my life again. To set it back on its tracks.

And I dun like being myself. I dun wanna be cheerful. Cos I SURE AM NOT. And yet I dun wanna look depressed. Cos I SURE AM. I think I'm being too nice to people already. I think I should be REALLY selfish. Think of myself only and ignore others feelings. And yet I know its impossible for me to achieve that. Cos its already a habit for me to consider others first. What a lousy habit to have. The only time I don't consider others is when I snap, when I get rly pissed off wif myself for being so nice to others and not being nice to myself. I wanna be myself.