"And wad was a river of words soon dried up in your prescence..."

Yepp.. Exactly wad I feel ^..

Why do our lives have to be in parallel? The worst way to miss someone, is to have them right next to you yet knowing you can't have them.. Sometimes its so torturous for me to see you... And yet its torturous for me not to see you too... Sigh, my mind can't make itself and my heart is screwing everything.

My cousin made it into stanford Uni and now I'm feeling very pressured to do likewise.. I rly don't want to disappoint my dad esp since I've not done anything he would be proud of for the last 16 years.. So.. for once, i wanna make him proud.

Often I wish I can trade lives wif ppl. I do know that everyone has problems, but some people seem to have so little on their minds (Not bcos of their small brains). I rly wish I have such a problem-free stress-free life. Nostalgia isn't helping me much either. Watched all the B&B rehearsal vids and this strong tsunami of memories came flooding into my mind. I rly wish I can turn back time. I nv treasured BP much but now, I rly wish I can go back there, turn back time, relive those times...

Alas, I think not thinking about it would be better.. FOr man can't turn back time and time only moves forward. I was thinking 20 years frm now or even 30, when I look back, will the nostalgia be worse? Will I cry? Will I start to wish for times long gone and curse myself for not treasuring them when I had them? Will our paths cross again? Such are the qns that only time will reveal and yet I want to know the answers now. What does the future have in store for me? More heartbreaks? Probably.. Happiness? Unlikely.. I think I just need to get out of this place, emigrate elsewhere, start life anew, be reborn again. Maybe like in winter sonata, suffer frm amnesia and becomes an entirely different person. But I don't want to forget about the past too, for the past gives me my identity. Contrary to popular belief your IC is not your identity. It's just a freaking card wif a bunch of letters and numbers on it and enhanced by passing it through a magnetic field.

And I can go on and on but I think you get my point. If you don't, just re-read again until you do. Kk, and now my mom suspects I like someone cos I've been very depressed lately. Her suspicions are correct but just 2 years too late. NEway, I dun intend to let her know or I'll suffer a few hours of lecture and she'll get worried. Presumably she'll be more worried of my studies..

I still love you...... Wo(3) hai(2) shen(1) ai(4) zhe(4) ni(3).... Todavía le amo...... Ich liebe Sie noch.... Ancora li amo..... Je vous aime toujours....