我们绕了这么一圈才遇到, 我比谁都更明白你的重要.这么久了我就决定了, 决定了你的手我握了不会放掉.

你每一次的温柔我都想炫耀

因为我要的我自己知道 只要你的肩膀愿让我靠.

Yeah, you are very important to me. I dunno how am I supposed to live my life without you. Everything would be pointless without you. So what if I'm rich? So what if I'm happy? I shall have no one to share them with. What is the point...

You may not know, but one smile from you can light up my entire day. No matter how downcast I am, as long as you come around, and talk to me, smile at me, you will brighten up my day.

I know I'm passive, but I just dunno how to start, and when I ask you out, you turn me down. Not that I actually had any hope you will agree, it was a fool's dream from the start.

This is why, I believe, Yesterday's dream is today's uncertainty and tomorrow's heartbreak. I shan't dare to dream anymore, my heart has been broken too many times. You said goodbye, too many times before.

My kiss is saved for you, my heart is saved for you. I will always wait, for you are my one and only. I will cherish those times spent with you, though not exactly with. You are the only person who can make me so sad, hurt me so bad.

Just saw Dexter’s blog, about prospective brides and man. Well, I dun really care who my best man is, but my prospective bride, will only be Grace. She’s my only one and I cannot accept another girl.

It’s been 2 years, yet my love for you is still so fresh, the wounds so raw. Everytime I see you I fall in love with you all over again. Everytime I don’t see you I feel myself being sundered. Every hurtful thing you said made me cry, deepened those scars, made me lose hope. I never much believed in hope, it was just absent in all my 16 years. I have to agree not entirely so for I saw hope when I met you. But that hope was quickly shut out. I wanna do so much for you, I wanna get to know you, I wanna talk to you, I wanna be the only one in your life, but I guess I’m not good enough for you. Perhaps, some lucky guy out there will win your heart, and I shall feel happy for you two. Who cares about what I feel anyway? I dun even care what I feel. As long as you are happy, I guess I will be happy for you. I dun have to be with you, just looking at you will make me happy, seeing you smile would be heavenly. Perhaps holding you is out of my league. I feel so hopeless, you dun even wanna talk to me.

Watched the 9 o clock show yesterday, and there was this guy who admitted his love for the girl. Then what the girl felt was fear for a relationship that might not work. Could she be feeling this way? It would definitely be better than not feeling anything at all, yet if I think she’s feeling that way, then I would be deluding myself. Afterall, a show’s a show. It cannot be true. Fairy tales aren’t true. There is not going to be a happily ever after for me. But I guess I will still work hard, just in case I have a chance. And if I don’t and she gets married to someone else, I guess I shall just give up everything and maybe what I worked so hard for would be useless, but I dun care. All I care is I will work hard for her. Then at least if I can get with her, I can make her happy, I can give her a comfortable life.

Haha, Ok, I'm inspired to post more bout the musical. I shall copy wad Grace did and post my feelings bout particular ppl in the musical. They are in no particular order. Here goes:

Grace Wang: Ah! The one and only girl I will ever love with all my heart. No matter when or whatever circumstance, I will always accept her. She provided me with the drive to attend musical everyday, she gave me something to look forward to. "Crucify my love if my love is blind." She helped me persevere in all the practices, no matter how tiring or fustrating it is. Evidence is though both WP and Glenn were physically and mentally drained, I was still ok. And she's indeed, Belle. Even before the auditions I knew she would get that role. Overall the one who affected me greatest in the musical.

Grace Yeoh: Ok.. The FIRST dancer friend I made. Haha, thks for listening to me and giving me encouragement. Also thks for intro-ing me to the other dancers, yeah, I feel quite bonded to you people. Y'all are such fun to be with, always so hyper and full of energy!! Oh, and also thks for helping me in overcoming some of my shyness in dealing with people from opposite sex. Good luck wif *! Lol.. And I somehow always see you when you come to my class to look for penelope and when I wait for Glenn outside his class.

Wen Pu: MY ONE AND ONLY GAY PARTNER!!! Haha, he's SOO FUNNY!! Also my best friend, and thks for putting up with some of my mood swings, and never failing to make me laugh wif your YES I SHALL SAY IT, ANTICS!!! Haha. Thks for ur guitar too! Though I doubt this musical actually bonded me n u that much, cus we are already quite close. Nia, it was fun acting together with you, HEADBUTT!!! Haha, glad the audience enjoyed that scene.

Glenn: My second good friend! This musical went MILES in bonding me and him together. I used to be veri irritated with him, cus although I treat him like a gd friend, he always ignore me. I hope he dun revert back to that way again, cus then what the musical did for us will be in vain. I enjoy being in his company with his undying smile. It always brightens me up somehow and makes me smile along with him. I still look up to him as a leader, but I think I somehow start to look up to him less and less, which I dun think is a bad thing, at least for me, cus it means I'm starting to take control of my own actions!

Dexter: VERI GOOD ACTOR!! My fave line of his is "And I shall sell this too!" So impromptu!! But can be veri hot-tempered at times, and always prefers females. Which can be veri hard for me to bond with him.

Siew Ling: Ah, my waltz partner. It is my honour to dance with you, you are like such a talented dancer. BTW, can send me that photo we took together? I think I want it for memory sake. ALWAYS hyper and full of energy! Haha, you do make me laugh alot too. And.... Your hands are COLD!! XD XD... I doubt she reads my blog actually, XD..

Sandy: Glenn's partner, and a kai(1) xin(1) guo(3). She's always sooo happy and always sooo helpful! Thanks for helping me carry stuffs XD, and for offering your help even though I turned it down. Haha, and ur comment about you being a squirrel is sooooo funny... And thanks for talking to me during the musical!

Jordan: Mwaha, fellow T2-ian. Sitting beside you can be so crazy man. Always entice me to sleep also. Haha. And you are sooo tall, give me some of your growth hormones leh, I need it XD. Brightens up the atmosphere during musical because of all the funny things he say. I will still see you alot during school haha, I think this musical helped bond me with him more too, I talk to him more during school already, but now we got one less common topic. Haiz..

Eugene: I dono why I devoted a section to him, I barely talk to him save for the final 3 days. But he's a fellow choir member and used to be fellow tenor. His singing is soooo good, though he keeps using falsetto. His acting of the beast during rehearsals are so comical! And thanks for the encouragement during that fateful day. You acted veri well as the beast! I think now when I think of beast I will think of you (Not insult, as in you immortalize that character).

Syahir, Melvyn: I dun realli talk much to syahir, but I respect him for being so serious. And Melvyn, thanks for all the help you offered during musical. You also made me laugh at your actions. They made alot of contributions to the show and their perseverance in the end is admirable.

Frederika: Ah, not much to say actually, onli started talking to her after the outing. But she's realli light-hearted and funny. Guess all the dancers are. Haha.

Daishi, Hui Yang, Serfee: Aha, I also barely talk to you all, save during Be Our Guest scene. Thanks for your compliments and I treasure them.

Rafiq, Moritza, Amirul, Nicholas: Aha, you people are such fun people to talk to! Thanks for your encouragement too! And you people have made this musical veri memorable to me. Nicholas, you are soooo cute!! Haha, do science team proud! Moritza.. I know you longest, haha. But somehow, after P5 I dun see you downstairs anymore. Your sis is Samantha rite? Aha, hope she's doing fine. Rafiq, I onli just knew him this year, initially veri shy, but he became more bold. Ya, realli enjoyed talking to him. And Amirul, waha, choir junior! I know him for some time too.

G&Yan: Our directors! Yeah man, we owe the success to them. I realli respect them and I'm glad I met them. G is also realli funny with his criticisms! I can understand when you reprimand us, though you were veri fierce. But it helped with our character development. Also thanks for believing in us and for supporting us all the way, even though at times we were very uncoorperative.

Gina: Whee! Our super hyper dance teacher! She's realli fun to be with and I must thank her for teaching us the waltz and for making it so magical. I can realli talk to her too cus the age difference isn't that big. Somehow she feels more like a friend as compared to a teacher, but I still respect her as one.

Stage Crew: Lol, I donno you guys the names, but you guys are AWESOME. The musical's success is also largely your part. You guys learn the ropes fast and also thanks for all the help and encouragement. You guys are also always so energetic and funny! Glad to have met you all and it was a magical moment to work together to make this musical a success.

Current mood: Depressed; Lost

19/7/06, a memorable day for me. I shall never forget this day and it shall have a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. Why? Why did it have to end? I know good things never last, but, it seemed like yesterday when I first auditioned for this musical. Now, I just feel emptiness in my heart and on Mondays and Thursdays, which used to be occupied by musical practices. What of the people I met? I will miss you people, you have made this experience one worthy of a fairy tale in itself.

Never in my life will I be able to waltz again. I guess last night is the last night I will get to waltz. However, last night was the best performance ever. I enjoyed myself totally and I believe the audience did too. I had alot to blog about, but somehow, when I sat down to start penning down my thoughts, they vanished into thin air, all I'm left with is loneliness and something missing, something I can't quite place. I hope I will not take too long to adjust back, though I will always feel a part of me missing. I cannot take any more seperations like this, it's so painful. She has already removed a large part of my heart and now this... I just feel like crying, I dun want it to end, and I know I sound like some spoilt kid. Now I'm starting to wish I brought my camera ytd so I could take some photoes to remember that special time. Will our paths cross again? I do not know, but I sure hope so.

I shuda known, from the moment I signed up that this thing was destined to end. At least it was fun while it lasted. There were moments of joy, moments of disappointment, moments of fustration. But we pulled through, and the reward is sweet. Though the reward is sweet, the seperation is bitter. I feel like making a music slideshow of photoes taken during musical, set to the tune of Graduation by Vitamin C. But... I do not have the photoes, and I'm new at this and I'm afraid it does not turn out nice.

Today did not go to school, cus woke up I felt terrible, sore throat, flu, and headache. Now onli left sore throat and flu. If you get there before I do, don't give up on me. Currently listening to B&B theme song, and I can feel tears welling up already. This song brings back so much memories. We should have an outing together, like watch movie or sth.

I realli donno wad else to type, dun feel like blogging out the entire day. I guess there isnt much to blog about cus I onli have one feeling, which is emptiness. I think everyone probably feels the same way. Ok, I dun realli have much else to say, unless I am realli going to blog the whole sequence of events yesterday.

The rules:]
Bold the statements that are true to you
Italise the statements that you WISH are true
Leave the Fibs alone
Then pick 5 people to do it too

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor evrywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D
I like the way i look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I have dated a close friends's ex.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk(swear) in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
am an adrenaline junkie.

1) Grace Wang
2) Wen Pu
3) Ting Jun
4) Tay Yi
5) Dexter

Current mood: Depressed, irritated.

Is there nothing else that can go wrong? Today mood feel so low, want my air-con to cool me down, and it decided to quit on me, so now I have to survive wif the sweltering heat. Now not so bad, later at nite sure hot until cannot slp.

Donno y, but today I feel veri lethargic and lack of energy to do anything. I hate it when ppl dun treat me seriously, I feel like every1 just treats me as a joker, which is REALLI IRRITATING. Sometimes, it's ok, but not everytime. I am so lethargic that I dun even feel like typing out all the things weighing on my mind and heart. I wanna fly, yet I feel so tied down to this earth.

When you look back, will you remember me? I doubt so, but I will always remember you. I may have little impact in your life, but you are like a meteor that spun my life out of balance. Every minute spent without you is every minute spent without a life and motivation. I'm starting to feel tired of smiling even though my inner self is heartbroken, even though my inner self is angry, even though my inner self is irritated. I wish there is someone who can realli understand me, who can realli empathise with me, who can realli offer me support in whatever I do.

I think I shud just be contented with whatever I have now. Which is nothing. I remember ytd there was a speaker who came to speak to us abt dreams and how impt they are in our life. TO me, dreamers are a bunch of fools who hold onto fantasies. And yes, I am one such fool. I can onli dream, but dreams are dreams, not reality. I can't believe I was foolish enough to believe in fairy tales, there is no such thing as happy ending. We are born to die. And the process of dying is torturous.

Hold me hold me hold me senorita, I feel myself falling into the abyss... Sleep Sleep Sleep senorita, on my chest forever. I didn't know much of love But it came too soon And there was me and you And then we got real blue.

Graduation by Vitamin C is a sad song, yet with some hope. I think it's nice. I think I gonna change my blog song to it.

Ok, I realli had nth to do so I wrote a poem entitled, ah, you can guess... And my novel progress has halted!! NO!! Haiz, I'm just too lazy nowadays to do anything, and my AMV also halted, just 1 min more!! Oh, and thks Grace for listening to me too and No problem, if you ever wanna talk to me just well.. talk.. I'm willing to listen. :D, yeah, and we shud hold an outing soon..

Return, Oh days of innocence.
Where are you now?
Where is the angelic laughter?
All I hear now are deceit.

Return, Oh days of innocence.
Come back to me this instant.
I feel myself breaking
In these days of corruption.

Return, Oh days of innocence.
Don’t be swept away by the river of growth.
I want you, I need you.
I don’t want to mature.

Return, Oh days of innocence.
My defence is breached.
I feel myself maturing.
And deceit and lies falling in.

Return, Oh days of innocence.
When I never knew her.
When I was never backstabbed by love.
When I wasn’t silenced and bewitched.

Return, Oh days of innocence.
I feel so cold and alone.
I am stained with adulthood.
Wash me and cleanse me.

Much as I want you to return
Days of innocence.
But I know time cannot be turned back.
I shall miss you in these days of mental destruction.

My teacher once said that I can excel if I start putting effort into my work.
Never in my life have I danced until Beauty and the Beast.
The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always make me smile is Grace.
I like lines because... w8!! I never said i like lines!!
When I'm nervous, i get stomach ache.
The last time I laughed was when I had B&B practise.
My hair is slightly brown.
My feet are tired.
Last Christmas I ate turkey.
When I turn my head left, I see the window.
When I turn my head right, I see the door.
When i look down, i see the keyboard.
The craziest recent event was the outing I had with the dancers.
By this time next year I will be in a good JC, I hope...
I have a hard time understanding why I love you so much.
One time at a family gathering I chatted wif my cousins?
You know i like-like you when I stop talking when you are near.
If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is her.
Triangles are stupid bcos they do not have brains.
My ideal breakfast is to eat with Grace, I dun care the location or the food.
If you make me really happy I'll be good to you.
Where do you plan to visit anytime soon the toilet.
Boys are straightforward.
I'd stop my wedding if i had feelings for another.
The world could do without money.
I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than eat the cockroach.
Most recent thing you've bought yourself was Apple juice.
Most recent thing someone else bought you was food.
My least favorite time of day is when I have to wake up in the morning.
And by the way, please hold on to me cus I am slipping into the darkness..
The last time I was high was not was, is, now, cus I am on the 18th storey.
The person whom I last talked to is my mom.
I shouldn't have eaten too little.
Last night I wept.
There's this girl I know who can make me stop breathing and can captivate me everytime I see her. She makes me fall in love with her everytime I see her. She can make me stop liking any other girls.
There is this guy I know who makes me happy just by looking at him, and lightens up the atmosphere when I am around him.
I'll tell the next person who makes me really happy thank you, and you can be a comedian.
I'm listening to Precious One by KATTUN.
I last ate dinner.
My bedsheet is blue.
I smell nothing.
On my table, there is alot of things.
My full name is Law Wei Rong.
This quiz is useful in helping me spend time.

Saw this quiz on Grace's blog and since I have nth to do, I shall do it. THe first one did not interest me.

Favourites
Favourite Colours: Green
Favourite Food: Sushi!!
Favourite Song: Andalucia ni Akogarete (Cus it is a veri sad and touching song bout love)
Favourite Movie: Lord of the Rings Return of the King
Favourite Sport: Soccer
Favourite Day of the Week: Any day with musical. (Cus of *ahem* sry sore throat, n neways, its a new experience)
Favourite Season: Winter (Cus I am a veri cold person)
Favourite Ice Cream: Mint with chocolate chips

Currents
Current Mood: TIRED!!! Sad.... Depressed..
Current Taste: Orange
Current Clothes: Home clothes, veri old ones.
Current Desktop: Wood. For comp.. Is a photo.
Current Toenail Colour: pink?
Curent Time: 8:36pm
Current Surroundings: Cool air-con room and silence.
Current Annoyances: Tmr have bio and phy test plus O level MT oral
Current Thoughts: How am I going to survive tmr and How can I improve on my acting and singing and How hopeless my life is.

First
First Best Friends
Kindergarden: Don't remember
Primary school: Wei Xiang
Secondary school: Wen Pu, Glenn
Poly: nope. still in sec school & i don't plan on gg to a poly.
Outside school: None, like I said, I am a veri cold person.
First Crush: Grace Wang
First Movie: Don't remember
First Lie: I told my mom I never played computer when I did.
First Music: No idea

Lasts
Last Cigarette: I don't smoke and never will.
Last Drink: Orange juice
Last Car Ride: Dad's car.
Last Crush: No last, cus it is current, and may not be crush.
Last Movie: Superman Returns
Last Phone Call: My mom.
Last CD played: Best of KAT-TUN

Have you ever
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: No
Have you ever broken the law: No
Have you ever been arrested: No
Have you ever skinny-dipped: No
Have you ever been on TV: No

5 things you are wearing: Spectacles, shirt, shorts, underwear, skin
4 things you done today: Waltz, Fenced, Injure myself, Cried.
1 thing you do when you are bored: Sit around and stare at nothing while thinking about her.

This love has taken its toll on me, she said good bye too many times before...

I promise you...
I believe your promise but, there is no promise forever...
Afureru ai ga sora ni habataite mawaru owari no nai hibi ga.
Shinjiru kimi ga tsuita uso nara sotto kokoro ni shimau yo.

This post shuda been posted ytd, but when I got home, all I wanted to do was flop on my bed and sleep, so this post was post-poned. Ytd went wif the dancers for an outing to East Coast Park. Ah, had to wake up early in the morning. Somemore in the morning I had a nightmare, I dreamt I was a World War 2 pilot, and I was like on a mission to bomb places. Funny thing was, as soon as I got into the cockpit, my vision turned black and I cannot c anything, yet strangely I was able to fly the plane. Weirrrd.. Somemore at this time of the year.. Hmm? Den woke up and went to bathe to prepare myself for a long day.. Met Glenn and Dex at the LRT station at 9 20, den we went to Jurong East to ice-skate first. Ok, here comes one of the highlights of the day. We met... MR RICHARD!!! Haha, you may be wondering who he is. Lemme tell you... I have no idea who he is either. He was some highly zealous christian who was trying to evangelize us without our permission. Which, is illegal. At first he came up to us and I thought he was some CID officer, look so secretive, and some more like say "Eh boys, how old are you?" Den I was like.. er.. wad did we do?? Den later he asked "Do you believe in God?" Den I was like Ohhh... THis guy wanna try to get us to be christians. So Glenn answered No.. Den he asked me and I answered yes den he asked dexter and dexter answered yes. Den he asked if I'm a christian and I just nodded my head. First lie!!! Ah well, the onli reason I'm not is cus my mom dun allow. So he started blabbering abt "I am here to spread the good news." Den as he was saying, the lights flickered and Glenn's handphone beeped and a skater fell down. So he was like "Satan is watching, he doesn't want us to know about God, see how many distractions he send?" At that point I was about to laugh out loud already but I just kept to myself. This guy is like LOONY!! Den he went on talking about hell and that its a lake of fire. Den he say "Actually, scientists have discovered hell, let me show you" Den he proceeded to take out his bible wif clippings. I was like Diao, wow, wads he gonna show us?...... MOUNT MERAPI!!! HE TOOK OUT A NEWSPAPER CLIPPING OF MOUNT MERAPI!!! OMG!!! Den he was like "you know where's this place? This is the entry to hell. Ever wondered why its spewing hot gases and rocks and lava?" I was thinking "Cus its a volcano?" NEways, I was too lazy to explain the earth's processes so I just smiled at him. Den he started raving about hell and angels and God and den Jesus. Meanwhile, Glenn kept receiving SMSes and he suddenly lashed out, "STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR HANDPHONE!" Den Glenn, apparently, was quite angry, but he was a polite nice boy and didn't say anything. Den he later said "You non-believer lar, you donno lar, you are ignorant." Wow, 3 insults hurled in a string. I can't believe Glenn didn't snap! Den he started insulting the other religions, saying that those people who worship them are worshipping stones. Man-made stones. Den he said some of the "gods" looked like demons. He seemed loony man, den WP came!!! Haha, and he also got roped in to listen to his ravings. Alot of things he was talking about I already know, but just sit there and listen lor... Den he went on and say "Satan is not interested in you, not your casing, he is interested in wads inside you. You know wads inside?" Den I was like.. Am I supposed to say JEsus? Den we like give shrugs and he answered "It's your soul!" Den I DIAO!!! I nv say out lar, but in my head was like Diao.... At this point, Dexter said "Can we go now? Faster pray den go." So he said okok, let me pray for you all. Then, the security guard came and shouted "MR RICHARD!" Den waved him over. So Mr Richard said bye to us and walked over. That was how I know wad was his name. Den later WP said he was a madman, how can lidat come and anyhow evangelize ppl. Apparently, he did this more than once, so that is how the security guard knew his name.

Wow, I devoted such a long paragraph to the encounter wif Mr Richard! Den later we just ice-skate. I was abit bored lar, cus I have always preferred skiing. What's more, its realli irritating when other people show off. It's also annoying when the whole place becomes flooded. Den later the dancers came to meet us, and we left at 12 15. Went to KFC to eat, and the dancers eat so little, onli a shrooms set. In order to fill me, I think I need 3 of those sets at least. Ya, I am a veri good glutton. After that, we waited for Gina to come and meet us, den persuade her to come wif us to East Coast. In the end, she agreed and we took a long train ride to City Hall. From there, we took bus 197 to East COast park. The bus is a double decker!! WOW!! I so long never take double-decked bus liao. We had a rather nice bus ride. We just spent the whole time talking. And den reached east coast, we had to walk to the rental shop. Then Dexter suggested we rent double bikes, like two person on one bike, one guy one girl. Actually, I was quite ok wif it at the start, but towards the end I was quite reluctant, but went on wif the plan anyways. So we rented the bikes and started cycling. Doubles bike got its advantages, such as when both guy and girl cycle same pace, the effort put in by each party is lesser for the same speed on a single bike. However, when one person slacks, the going gets tough and you have to put in more energy for the same speed. Then my partner for that day was Anita and we damn sui, the bike chain kept coming off. End up I have to get my hands REALLI dirty to fix it. My hands became like totally black.. TOtal chain fixes for that day was 5. 3 times from mine, 2 times I helped Dex. However, cycle halfway I wanted to swap for awhile. Then I swapped wif WP who was cycling single. Then in the end, I soloed all the way. Everytime w8 for WP catch up I was waiting for him to ask his single bike back, but he never did! So I just cycle solo all the way. Then WP after that said he felt realli slack cycling on dual, cus Anita wanted to go slow. Den towards the end, I caused an accident. I overtook Glenn, den turned and slow down to talk to him, when all of a sudden, Gina like speeded out of nowhere and the unfeeling look on her face looked murderous and scary. Somemore she no slowing down! She was like heading straight towards me, so I swerved to my left.... And hit Dexter. Donno who got injured but I think Sabrina fell off. Lucky no one got hurt. But I guess its like my fault lar.. I shudnt have stopped. I was letting them know WP was not behind. SO we waited, and WP appeared, but Rica was missing. Den later me n Glenn started discussing abt how Gina cycles, and we all agreed on one thing, she got an unfeeling look on her face. Veri scary.. After that, we walked to a busstop and took a direct bus back to Jurong East interchange. The bus ride sooooooooooo long.. It was like 1 hr 30 mins long? We spent all that time...... Chatting, and getting to know each other better. So I guess that time wasn't wasted. After the whole trip, I felt wasted and absolutely drained of energy. So me glenn n wp ate our dinner in Jurong East and den went home... Den my mom brought me to have a haircut and she told the hairdresser to cut until can meet school standard, yet leave it as long as possible. SO the hairdresser cut lor, to me, she cut alot. But today Glenn said cut veri little. Lol, he never leave long hair be4 so donno how it feels like when you cut it. IT realli feels like it's cut alot. I think, my whole long holiday, Monday was the most well-spent. All the other days I was like waiting for time to pass..

Somewhere out there is your only one.. I don't wanna be all alone.. It's painful.. Believe in me, believe in you, believe in our love...... Shinjiru..... Someday you will meet someone you love...

Posting becus I am dying of boredom. Well, the "impossible" happened and France won Brazil. In my opinion, its not impossible. France have always, I feel, been better than Brazil. Ah well, gonna suan glenn come monday.

Rozi just issued death sentence on me last Friday. SHE ASKED ME CUT HAIR!!! DIe Die Die... I dun want.. Dun want.. Dun want.... Why does she have to come at me from behind??!! Come from front at least dun look as long... There goes my "Dun cut hair until end of year and hope teachers dun notice" plan. At least, if I cut now, I wun cut until after Os. Not fair, girls can keep long hair and guys cannot.. What is this man... No gender equality at all.. Haiz, taking one last look at my hair liao.... Soon.. Will be short again... Haiz... It was fun while it lasted... At least i dun need to avoid teachers anymore... Ok, I sound freaking gay and vain. But I just like the feeling of long hair and the lack of need of styling it. I mean, just leave it there oso can, dun need to do anything to it. I onli push front to side so it dun block my vision. Haha, I think I go find the super long strands that unearthed one night while I was sleeping. Den say bye bye. It's somewhere in the fringe, it reach my cheek lorr.. I was so shock got so long one. I think I push it in too much, but somehow that night I sleep the position loosened it and it fell down my face.. Den I go toilet see I was like "Cool..." Darn, I wished my hair was a tad bit more brown. Its slightly brown, but onli visible when got sun / light shine on it. Brown hair looks sooooo nice...... Crimson oso not bad.. At least it looks good on Junno!

Nowadays been sleeping realli lightly and badly. Keep waking up at like 7+ even though I sleep at 12+. Cannot lar, make me feel so tired and listless. Mus somehow find a way to let me sleep 10+ hours. Den can fully recharge my batts. I think tonite mus slp early liao, or else tmr no energy. THe principle of conservation of energy states that : If you have nothing to do, sleep and conserve the energy! Haha, ok its my twisted theory.

Someone please go tell my girl
She's probably waiting there at the platform
Tell her that, although I will be late
I'll surely get there so please wait for me

I'm yearning for Andalucia
Dancing with a rose in my mouth
With Carmen from the underground bar
Tonight, at the metro, a rendezvous

In my fading conciousness
I danced with Carmen
Under the blue skies of Andalucia
I heard the songs of Granada.....

What a touching song. Its in a jumbled order. But its a story of a guy who is in the mafia, and on the day he has a date with this girl, his boss called him to settle something. Den he went there, it was supposedly a like talk session, but it was a trap and he was shot. Den in his fading consciousness he onli thought of his girlfriend waiting on the platform for him.

Dareka Kanojo ni tsutaetekureyo
Hoomu no hajitematteru hazu sa
Chotto okureru kamoshirenai keredo
Kanarazu yuku kara soko de matteroyo

Hmm. Wondering who actually reads my blog. Does Glenn read it? I know he reads blogs occasionally, but wondering if he reads mine... Ah haf a sneaky suspicion *ahem* likes *cough*. HAha, dun wanna state names, to protect privacy. Actually its not exactly a suspicion already, it feels veri confirmed and not onli I think of it. Ah well, who cares, anyone can have the right to like anyone! But of course, where the other person likes you is a different story altogether. Strongly suggest people listen to Kat-Tun songs. Its realli nice, though not all of it, most are nice. For starters, find "Precious One" "Kizuna" and "Andalucia ni akogarete". Summary also not bad, but unfortunately its a two group song wif NewS. I dun like NewS, onli Yamapi is good. And actually, the onli song I ever heard Yamapi sing is Daite Senorita. Ahh, I suddenly like Spanish named songs!! Haha... I heard this Spanish song while I was in the states and I liked it alot, but cannot find it.. Its called "Bachata Rosa". I love the states!! I will not give up my dream of migrating there except for someone. Only that someone can make me give up this dream, otherwise I'm working my way there. Skiing every weekend in December, haiz, the thought just overwhealms me. I LOVE skiing. If you like ice skating, w8 till you start skiing. ITs MUCH more exhilirating. Not to mention the breath-taking scenery when you get to the top of the mountain. Wad's more, you can attain speeds of over 100kmph. Wow, how cool is that!! Of cus its a tad bit scary, but with skill, you will be able to manage it. Somemore last time I ski so much until quite pro already. I can do stunts also.. Now I think I forget everything liao. I think I too lazy to post anymore, so stop here..

This post is here because I am at Glenn's house wif nth to do be4 the Germany-Argentina match. Ah sian. So.. Wad shall I post abt? THe outing on Mon? Okie...

Woots! Going Ice-skating den cycling on Mon!! For once our outing is not a gay outing!! Lol, for once there are girls!! OK, confirm ppl gg iceskating is GIna, me, glenn, wp, and jordan. Grace unconfirmed. Den later going cycling wif the dancers. Wow, a veri leg-exhausting day. Ah well, who cares, its the bond that counts (Kizuna!!!).

Jus now was thinking abt ppl who made the most impact in my life. So here are the 3 ppl whom shaped my life and are the pivots in my life.

Grace- She's the first girl I ever loved, and I found out the taste of love and the distaste of rejection. She "taught" me emotional pain and how one can be happy when the other is. She also provide me with the drive to do well and also helped me mature. She brought reality to my doorstep. I will never, EVER, forget her. She will always be my Only One.

Wen Pu- He's my first real best friend. He showed me how friends should be loyal and stand up for each other. Even though he is quirky, he does show maturity and has enriched my life in many ways. He also made me view gays in a light-hearted way and not condemn them.

Glenn- He is also one of my good friends and the musical has strengthened my bond wif him. He has taught me to smile in the face of adversity. I can't help but feel happy when he is in the vicinity, wif his undying smile. He has definitely made my life much happier, esp during the times when I was very depressed due to rejection.

Recently I just found out that I have no problems communicating with girls. But why isit I alwauys dun have the courage to speak to Grace? I guess I am to shy. In her precense, I become tongue-tied and I usually become very quiet. I hate that. I realli want to talk to her, to get to know her better, to be her friend. Alas, there are so many guys out there better than me. I dun even stand a chance.

Today went cycling wif Glenn at like 4+. We cycled to school, smsed some people, then sat at the busstop watching people go home. And den we were commenting on their lifelessness, then laughed at ourselves cus we were more lifeless, sitting there watching. I just feel like going home is so boring. Sec 1 Sec 2 and even Sec 3, I would have happily ran home, but now in Sec4, I have a sad longing for the school. Then we were like discussing after Os and we enter JC when we cycle past our school, how would we feel. For me, I think I feel an emptiness gazing at the place where I spent four years of my life. Its like a second home to me and I am about to move out of it. Which brings sadness. Somemore, wad if JC life is realli tiring, I think cycle pass our school we will realli break out in tears as we recall the relatively carefree life. No need to think so far, I think after the musical there will be a sudden emptiness in my life. The sudden freedom when musical is over, I dun think I can handle it. Even now wif just my fridays free, I also donno what to do wif that free time. Aiya, I think dun think so much cus my brain hurting now from mental exhaustion.

Haven't been posting for some time. I think now I shall just post once a week, unless got interesting things happen in between. NEways, I read TY's blog and disagree wif some things he say, but I lazy to start a flame war, so I dun wanna rebutt. Not I scared, is like above, if I post once a week, there is realli no point in starting one. In fact, flame wars are actually pointless, they are just a waste of time. Hence, I shall stay away from sensitive topics, unless I realli nth better to do.

Now currently addicted to Kat-Tun and their songs. And also Yamapi's Daite Senorita. However, I disagree wif Daite Senorita's lyrics, but the tune is catchy. After like getting comments from fellow schoolmates, I feel that no matter wad our school do, it will alwayz be a failure. Why? Cus if the school students dun even support, how can they expect the public to support? I mean, at least show some encouragement instead of saying things like "Sure shi bai one lar", "What is the point in doing?" Realli, if all you have are negativities, just keep them to yourself. I mean, even if you dun support, the veri least u can do is just keep quiet. And like show encouragement to ppl involved and not say things like "you are just wasting your time". This is directed to everyone in general, who fits the bill.

Now my fave Kat-Tun song ish Special Happiness (sounds gay) and Precious One. Got one line is Precious One supposed to give hope, but somehow, when I hear it, I think differently. C wad u people think. The line goes "You will meet your Only One.." It's supposed to give reassurance that the one for you will appear. However, I interpret it as I have already met my Only One, just that she rejected me. Somehow, something which brings a comma, can be turned into a full stop. Today, I feel rather high, like realli happi. Today she smiled at me!!!! Haha, it means sooo much, even if it just a friendly smile, but a smile's a smile and it made me smile!!

From the start, I knew our clan would disintegrate after awhile, looks like my prediction came true. I think Glenn has changed somehow. I feel he has matured in his thinking. WP, still stubborn as ever, but he does show some maturity. I donno, but I think that I haf grown closer to them. Dex too. I feel that the musical has helped strengthen my bonds wif them. Ano toki no ano basho kienai kono kizuna. (That time That place, our bond will stay.) Guys, if you ever read this, know this: I will always stand by you, and offer you support in whatever you do. If you shall ever need me, just call me, I promise I will help you as best as I can. Zutto (forever). You are not all alone anymore hitori janai (alone no more). I am truely grateful for all that I have now, and all the people around me who have shown me care and concern. I am realli realli thankful, and I hope I can return the favour.

ZzZ... My photos are not in dis comp. So I wun be posting about some stuffs I did in Adelaide, cus wanted to post wif photoes. And this layout is realli bad to share photoes. I guess I wun be posting abt my Adelaide trip. But yeah, got lots of fun stuffs there, and interesting :D. Just wondered how the photoes turned out. I hope I can post them by tmr. Its soooo good to be back in Singapore. NEways, was talking to WP abt this ytd, while I was still in Adelaide. There got SOOO many chio bus, and I realli mean ALOT. Too bad for the guys, I did not take any photoes whatsoever of them, HahA. NEways, yeah, they were sooo beautiful, realli nice features. Den it got me thinking. There are like, so many girls out there in this world, am I sure that Grace is the girl for me? But after deliberation, I still feel, no other girl out there can hold a candle to Grace. Like XY put across, they just dun have that tug on me that Grace has. Yeah sure, they are pretty faces, but like this song lyric correctly puts it, "I dun want another pretty face, I dun want just anyone to hold, I dun want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul." Yeah, u guessed it, its Beautiful Soul by Jesse MacCartney.

Being there also made me feel damn sad. Everyone there is TALL! I mean, average height of the ppl there is like WP's height, yeah, I mean, including the girls. Haiz, Singapore is still where I belong, Land of Midgets, XD XD... Ok, by saying that I probably insulted mani ppl, but who can deny it? Singapore's average height is loooow.. Minus the occasional Jordan and etc.

During the plane flights, I watched some movies. Like Aquamarine, Pink Panther, and Ultraviolet. Hmm, I found Aquamarine and Pink Panther nice, but Ultraviolet lost me somewhere. It probably didnt help that I fell asleep while watching it. NEways, got one quote from Aquamarine which I found realli deep, which is Love is the closest thing we [humans] have to magic. And the Pink Panther was REALLI HILARIOUS!!! A MUST WATCH!!! NEways, heres an abstract of a dialogue between the bumbling inspector and his sidekick.

Sidekick: Bezu was found dead. He was shot in the head.
Inspector: Realli? Shot where?
Sidekick: Head....
Inspector: Isit fatal?
Sidekick: Yes....
Inspector: How fatal?
Sidekick: Completely fatal.
Inspector: I would like to speak to him.
Sidekick: But he is dead!!!
Inspector: Oh..

LOL!!! THAT WAS SO FUNNY IT HAD ME ROLLING IN MY SEAT IN LAUGHTER!!! Throw in a hilarious french accent and the retard look on his face, priceless.. Hope I can get the photoes uploaded soon.

wahah, pic of Junno, Shuai rite? Omg, He looks so CUTE and INNOCENT!!!! ARgH, I am SOOo infatuated wif him!!!



This is his group photo wif the rest of his group, he is the 3rd from the left.



Erm, this guy is the guy my sis likes, also from the same group as Junno. They so talented, haiz... And so Shuai also... Sniff sniff...

Er, abt Dex's post on our clan's link being only DotA, I dun think I agree wif that. Problem is, our clan is like veri selfish and do things based on individuals. We dun have like team spirit. I mean, take Glenn for example. He onli does things if he thinks its convenient. He dun rly spare a thought for others. Ok, I'm not bashing him or anything, its just that, like wad TY said, Glenn is "See first king". Everything all last minute then gif answer, making the organisers life veri difficult. And then our clan also dun have like a sport which everyone likes. Badminton used to be one, but I think most of us eventually got bored. And the problem wif sports is that some of us too lazy to play, or to leave their homes. Also, Dex, you cannot just rely on us including you. You always seem so aloof and onli talk to girls. That is not exactly what I wld call you want to socialise wif us. I'm not stopping you from talking to gals, just that, if you say we are ignoring you or that you dun seem to see us anywhere, dun u think u shud ask yourself if when we are around were you open to us? I can tell you for sure that most of the time even if we are around, you dun take notice. Why isit that ppl have to find u and not u find them? I find that veri unfair. And I find that the most reliable fren and the most loyal is still Wen Pu. So, thats why sometimes I dun look for you all. Look also no use, u all onli talk amongst urself and ignore me. THe most is "Hi", hardly wad I call a friendly gesture. If you dun treat me as a friend den dun expect me to treat you as one. Oh, the last statement is directed at no one in general, its just a general statement.

Okay... I donno how long I wun be posting, at least a week I think. I'll be overseas for at least a week, so I think no comp for me anymore. K, looking forward to going glenn house tmr.

Long time since I last posted, I think. I just read TY's blog, and I got some opinions too. However, this will not be a flame, its more like a discussion. NEways, I just got my Zen Vision:M. No idea how well it works, it is now being charged and I have yet to test out. I hope it supports mpg formats or else I need to get another converter to convert mpg to mp4.

Now, wad is friends? To me, friends are emotional support pillars. They help you through your life. If you ask me who makes friends for non-selfish reasons, I say no one. Everyone makes friends because of selfish reasons, but since both of you are reaping benefits from each other, it doesn't really matter much. On the other hand, there are a select few people who only want the benefits without contributing. Yes, this is directed to people like Wei Zhong. After reading TY's blog, it only serves to deepen my dislike for his class boys. When I enter his class, I feel like I entered a different realm. The boys there are like, in the most extreme way, hopeless. This is of course a sweeping statement. I do agree that boys like Jonathan Sim are pleasant people and would be good to make friends with. However, others like Jian Hui, Rui Hee, and Jun Jie, I feel that they are hopeless. THey just give me that impression of people who heck care everything, treats everything unseriously, harbour childish thoughts and intentions. They may do stupid things and claim its to be lame, however, that is not lame. There is a limitation to Lame. Lameness is supposed to be funny. When it crosses the line, it becomes childish and outright annoying. To me, 90% of wad comes out of their mouths are rubbish. They do not say useful things and mostly are gibberish which you can ignore. Even their "jokes" onli serve to freeze the water vapour around me. And I also know they do not like me, though I do not know the reason why, I did not do anything to them, but then again, like I said, these people are childish and I do not want to associate myself with them. This is not the first time this happened to me anyways, I just treat them as people who are jealous of me. Jealousy and fear breeds dislike. THat is what I believe. Though I am not discouraging people to distance themselves from them, but I think people should get friends who are good influence. They may be fun to be with to some, but that's that. You should not listen to their advice or follow what they do. Follow friends who you know are doing the right thing. THis is what I have learnt painfully. Now, I do not want to follow what Glenn does. I want to influence him to do what I do. I am not saying what I am doing is right, but I feel he should at least start caring about his studies. Like Dexter. Dexter already has decided to go serious, Tay Yi also. TO you two, I congratulate you. Come on man, it is just 4 more months, endure these four months and yes!!! You are free!! I didn't know that this would one day come out of me, but I feel DotA is pointless. Gasp! Someone who used to wait every week just to play DotA has said it is pointless!!! I agree it is fun, but thinking of what i used to do, I realised I was foolish. DotA should onli be used to relief my stress, I shouldnt build my life around it. This resolution may cause me to drop to the realms of the battle.net players or even the noob stage, but in the end, does it matter? When WC4 comes out DotA would be outdated!

Now is my "tirade" of Wei Zhong. I never had a good impression of him. Even when I first met him, my gut feeling told me to keep away. Hence, I did not communicate much with him. I feel he chooses friends based on value, and I ABSOLUTELY DETEST SUCH PEOPLE! I remember last time everytime we did project, he is always the one who dun do anything. I wanted to tell Glenn to include someone else instead of him, but at that time, they were inseperable. How many times Tay Yi or Wen Pu got left out because we added that slacker into our group. Even the LOTR presentation also. He just come and slack and play wc3 at glenn house. Never contributed at all. I mean, even WP, who isnt in our group, contributed more than him.

Ok, now to address TY's advice for me to give up. My analytical brain agrees with you that I should give up. Even now, my brain is in conflict with my heart. My brain constantly tells me that holding onto her is pointless. This might cause it to collapse and eventually go insane. But my heart tells me that I should hold on for what good is there in giving up? Love is a drug. Once you have a taste of it, it holds onto you and it is stronger even than nicotine. My brain is fighting a losing battle. Right now, the pros to giving up is I got much more time, much less stress, and I would feel more free. However, giving up would tear my soul apart. Unfortunately, there is no soul booster. I have no idea what to do, I am having an inner conflict. I very much want to hold on, and yet I very much want to give up. But I do not deny that meeting her has had its benefits. I have learnt that love is not easy and that not everything I want will come my way. Also, she has made me smile inwardly on countless occasions. Everytime, I see her smile, I get this inner peace and it makes me smile inside, though I do not show it outside, unless no one's looking. You may not know, but I got expert observation skills. I can observe people without them knowing. Sometimes, it might seem like I did not see something, but actually, I did, and long before. After meeting her, I became more aware of my surroundings, and it taught me what was emotional pain and its horrors. Physical pain pale in comparison to emotional pain. So to TY's advice, nope, I am not going to give up. You do not realise how deep I sank into this already. Even now, I do not find other girls attractive. They just do not appeal to me, though others say:"Eh chio bu!!" Of course I would agree that girl looks pretty, but it does not have that "tug". That attraction that pulls guys to that girl. An analogy would be the action of enzymes. Enzymes are specific, meaning they only act on a certain substrate and not the rest. In this case, its like she morphed me into a specific "enzyme" that only accepts her and no one else. Ok, this is a WEIRD analogy, but I dunno how else to explain it. THem some of you might think:"Yeah right, bullshit." My only reply is, since you are not me, you can never know how I feel, and I garuntee I am not lying. From the bottom of my heart, I can say that I am no longer attracted to other girls.

+ SEVEN things that make me smile +
1) Seeing / talking to Her
2) Seeing / talking to my true friends
3) Dogs
4) Taguchi Junnosuke
5) Horses
6) Embarrasing moments
7) When she smiles

+ SEVEN ways to win my heart +
1) Talk to me
2) Be Her
3) Have a sweet voice
4) Look innocent and cute (Junno!)
5) Have a love for animals
6) Cheerful
7) Sarcastic

+ SEVEN things I believe in +
1) God
2) Equality between animals and humans
3) True Love
4) Reality is not a dream, hence dreams dun come true
5) Eden ( paradise )
6) Affinity
7) Loneliness

+ SEVEN things im afraid of +
1) The Unknown
2) Rejection
3) Embarrasment
4) Horror movies
5) Being onstage
6) Not being able to grow taller
7) Losing people I love

+ SEVEN things I do everyday +
1) Sleep
2) Eat
3) Think of Her
4) Use the toilet
5) Play
6) 10 Pushups (More if I feel like it)
7) Drink milk

+ SEVEN people i wanna see +
1) Her
2) Taguchi Junnosuke
3) Kamenashi Kazuya
4) Liv Tyler
5) Stephen Lynch
6) Akanashi Jin
7) Wen Pu

+ Seven People whom i choose to do this +
1) Grace
2) Dexter
3) Theresa
4) Wen Pu
5) Glenn
6) Jin Zhe
7) Wei Ning

First, to address Dex comment. I wanna gay wif Taguchi Junnosuke. If u wanna know who's he, look at my current DP.

Today, an unfortunate incident happened to me (when does it not happen?). Originally, I wanted to blog about it to full extent, including what I felt, however, I decided against it, due to the excessive racism and profanities. The outline is, this guy (Obv a black, hence the racism) stopped me while i wanted to go watch Da Vinci Code. Actually, quite expected, since I'm still under 16...... BY 5 MONTHS..... Wth.... Its so lame. His explanation? Even 1 day before ALSO CANNOT... Wth... That is freaking dumb... NEways, I was pissed at his attitude. He was so rude and unhelpful and unsympathetic. I mean, I wasted 8.50 on the ticket.... And the stuck up thing was, they shoulda checked age at the counter, NOT AT ENTRY.. WTH, OBV THEY WANNA CON PPL.. I almost tossed my popcorn into his face. Den later I went to see the manager. THe manager equally crappy... WTH, not at all concerned, his attitude sux.. Lousy manager, shud be sacked. Then lata, went Mac eat my dinner. So pissed that after half the meal i was full, and decided to take LRT to release my anger. So I took one full round, den went half a round. Met Jordan in the LRT and we got off at Jelapang. Den I went to look for Wen Pu who agreed to come out wif me. Thanks alot!!!

I thought abt it alot. Den I realised I shud be thankful Grace went out wif her frens to watch Da Vinci Code. And not wif me. I mean, can you imagine if we went there together and I stuck outside. She born in 31 Jan so can get in. Me 10/10... Darn, almost snuck in. The first check the person thought I born 10/01.. First time I felt God was wif me. I always felt I'm unlucky and God just forsake me. More or less there lar, just for that once.

After that, WP and I went back to Lot 1 to meet up wif the rest. We went to Mac and talk, where all my thoughts I poured out. Lots of racism in them... But I was so irritated.... Den we decided to go to Bkt Timah to eat prata. We went there in Mr Goh's car, all of us squeezed in the back. Us = Me, WP, TY, TJ, and Glenn. WP sat in front. We went there and ordered prata. We finished the prata pretty fast, but we started chatting abt wad happen to us in the past year. We stayed very long on the topic abt hair and teeth. Mr Goh and TY scaring us abt wisdom tooth and the extraction process. Den TY and I say we wanna dye our hair after Os. I dyeing mine bronze, AND leaving long hair. I wanna style my hair like JUNNO!!! Den Mr Goh suggest I get braces on my lower jaw, cus the teeth out of alignment. And then we started talking abt BGR. We discussed who go wif who now, and Mr Goh v interested to know who is Michele. Den I told Goh I infatuated wif another person now. Haha, u can guess, JUNNO!!!! Den Mr Goh say "Looks like Grace had alot of impact on you.." Diao, I just think he veri handsome wad... I both infatuated and jealous of him. Haiz, he just seems so perfect. Tall, handsome, acrobatic, can dance, can sing, and can do math!! He's got brawn AND brains. WHile I have the lack of both. I wish I were him.... I dun wanna be myself..... Then lata we talked abt other stuffs, den Glenn say Grace cut her hair v bad for musical cus Belle supposed to have long hair. Oh, and Goh also asked why I so open abt it. My reply was simple. WP help me leak it already, there no need for me to keep it a secret. Basically anyone who knows me knows I like her. At least ppl whom I spend more time wif. Den we started crapping that Glenn has a girl he likes. Haha, but that topic was left hanging, cus seriously, we have no idea who Glenn likes, IF he has one.

Got home and I was like yuening to my mom abt wad happened. This is when i realli feel that frens are better than parents. My dad actuallly asked me to shut up and go out. WTH!!! He was working lar, but his work more impt than me? Wow, I shall now treat my games more impt than him. Realli, why do I need a dad when my dad has absolutely no concern for me?

Sometimes, I wish I never existed. THen I dun even need to go through the pain, nor dying.
Wow, that is so totally awesome. Sometimes, I wish I were a flirt, den I wldnt be stuck on one girl and wlda went around flirting. Soemtimes, I wish I can dance, den I can dance like Kat-Tun. Sometimes, I wish I can sing, den I can sing like JUNNO!! Sometimes, I wish I was born another person. Like if I were born as Junno. Life wlda been great.

I lead such a sad life.. Sometimes, I just wish I have the courage to end my life. Why. My life is just full of pain, disappointments, rejections, dejections. I got rejected by the only girl I have ever loved. My results are crap. My parents refuse to buy Heroes 5 for me. Why is my life.. So meaningless. So pointless. So useless. Worst of all, so painful.

I wish I were gay. If I were gay, I wouldnt have loved you. If I were gay, I would literaly be happy. If I were gay, I would be much closer to my friends. If I were gay, I would have much fewer problems.

I wish I had the courage to end my life. If I had the courage, all my pain would have ended. If I had the courage, I wouldnt be suffering in silence. If I had the courage, all my problems would have solved. If I had the courage, lots of people would have been happier.

Why? Why can't it be like it was, before.... Why can't I be like a primary school kid anymore? Why am I so corrupted, and so detestable. Why? I hate myself. I hate myself now. The "I" in my future hates my present now, and my present now hates my future "I". Who I am in the future would surely be like who I am now. Who I was is lost in time. I want so much to be who I was.

Shangri-La ni akogarete... (I yearn for paradise)

In my fading conciousness, all I could think was: Someone, tell her that I will be late. But I will surely get there, so please wait for me.

Dareka kanojo ni tsutaetekure yo, hoomu no haji de matteru hazu sa. Chotto okureru kamoshirenai keredo, kanarazu yuku kara soko de mattero yo.

Unfortunately, I know when I get there, there will be no one there. Just me, and an empty place.

I wonder how many of you feel this way. Not alot I bet. Everyone around me seems to be having a good life. Then why am I suffering this way? Was it what I done in my previous life? Was I a terrorist? Or maybe Adolf Hitler? Or was I Stalin? What did I do to deserve this? Or was I John Wilkes Booth? I dun see why is my life so horrible.

I look at Kat-Tun, and I feel that I am very sad. Those guys are so handsome, and talented in dancing and singing. Me? I'm ugly, untalented, stupid, lazy. I dance like an elephant and sing like sandpaper rubbing against each other.

Someday, I may just have the courage to end my life. But I can only hope for such a day. Or hope for a day where my life takes a better turn. But that day will come later than the day I have the courage to end my life. Or maybe never. For I bet I sinned alot in my previous life so I am suffering so much now. And just so I cannot have the easy way out by killing myself, God makes me too cowardly to end my own life.

Counting down the days to 19th May and 23rd May. Why? 19th May is the opening of Da Vinci Code, which I wanna watch. 23rd May is the official release date of Heroes 5!!! Yeah!!! Heroes 4 was so crappy, Heroes 5 looks like a realli decent game, thks to Nival for all the gr8 work they put into the game. I will DEFINITELY buy it. Oh man, I feel so excited. Been a fan of the Heroes franchise since Heroes 1!! Haha, fan boy!!

Exams are nearly over, left the bio paper, lit paper, E math paper 2, and chem paper 1. Plus a listening compre. Ah, the gr8 days ahead after the mid years and before the results, lol. Looking forward 2 going for the musical again. Also, middle two wks in June going Adelaide! Wonder wad I will be doing there. Bio paper is so taxing on the brain, so much facts to memorize.. Didnt study lit at all today.. Tmr lit exam die liao.. Hopefully I can miraculously recall all that I've learnt/read. Actually, I totally forgot most of wad I wanted to post... Haiz.. Memory so bad. Today went cycling again wif GLenn n WP. This time we went to Bkt Timah Hill and we climbed it on our bikes. THe gradient is soooo crazy. Its so rocky and steep that some parts we had to get off and wheel the bikes up. Even at gear 3, I had a hard time cycling up the slope.. And it was so muddy, yux, at least come home shower liao feel so shuang. K.. nth else...

What have you done? how much have you experienced?(copy and paste on2 ur own blogs.)

(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die [sort of. Only Ning will know what I mean. If she still remembers what I told him]
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) love someone or miss someone right now [Alwayz]
(x) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
( ) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely [Alwayz have been]
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake id [In games]
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) been through a hurricane
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars [Don't everyone? Ur just blocked by the roof.]
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed [Been robbed of my sanity and my love]
(x) been misunderstood
( ) danced in the moonlight [I can only wish]
( ) liked the way I look
( ) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned my heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost [Figuratively, I still am]
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swum in the ocean
(x) felt like dying [Still feel like]
(x) cried yourself to sleep [More than once]
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't [Fell in love before JC over]
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe [I can only wish, and hope..]
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone roller-skating
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didn't take a shower for a week [In the States during Winter]
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree [not apple]
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on
( ) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
( ) cheated on a lover [I dun even have a lover..]
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain

This was supposed to be posted ytd, but my mom switched off internet and I ended up sleeping early.. OK, for those who read TY's version, it was accurate to a moderate extent. I post what ACTUALLY happened, as far as I can remember. I shall include description :D.. Helps my compo... XD XD... Okay, so here goes.... Crap.. SHud I do it story style or recount? Storecount bah.. HAHA!!

Ytd went cycling wif Glenn, WP, TY, and myself. Actually, I almost cancelled the cycling trip, cus of the overcast skies. In the end, I decided I shall go ahead wif our cycling plans.. TY and I cycled to Glenn's place first to meet up wif Glenn and WP. Den, we decided, or I did, to cycle to NYGH. No idea why, I just liked the houses there, looks so big and nice. Challenging also, cus of distance plus gradient. We had to climb not one, but two hills! And of course, I sarboed everyone to climb 2 more hills. 2 REALLI STEEP HILLS!! So, our great journey to the East started. We set off from BP at a breakneck pace, literal meaning, cus if u fall off at that speed ur gonna break ur neck. TY had trouble catching up and WP was lagging behind cus WP was "Sweeper", meaning hes the last man. Den me n glenn were like all the way in front. We went too far, realised they werent behind, den we stopped. We had already conquered our first hill and both of us were expecting TY to struggle. Countdown, 30 seconds to 1 min later, TY APPEARED!!! And TY was v happi to conquer that hill. We continued forward and WP warned TY of a second bigger hill. The second bigger hill came at around beauty world there. To me, it was smaller. Gradient smaller, but length of hill longer. However, to our great exhiliration, it was one immense downhill all the way to Adam's Park. So we just zoomed down and den we continued straight. Cycled some distance and came to this opening at Eton house. I told them turn in cus I wanna go c nice houses, and also betta to cycle in da prime estate than by the roadside. More scenery. So we cycled inside. Hehe, wad greeted us was a hill wif the gradient of 3? y=3x. XD XD, den TY was like SIAN!!! Den me n glenn chiong in front again.. Wah, muscles felt like they on fire. Den we reached the top and waited for them, den... THEY WERE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!! In the end, we realised WP and TY went one big round and redezvous wif us, den I gave wrong directions and we cycled deeper into the estates. Who ask all the houses there to look so alike... Den we saw this realli big hill, and I thot maybe up there, so we cycled up. Well, not we, me n glenn. WP and TY had to wheel their bikes up. This hill.. Had a gradient of 5? It was so steep that a garbage truck cldnt climb it. It rolled downhill after progressing halfway, den me n glenn laughing at the top of da hill. After that, we realised we were in da middle of nowhere, so we decided to descend the hill. WOOHOO!! ANOTHER BIG DOWNHILL!!!! Den we appeared beside singapore telecoms -.-ll.. We overshot NYGH. So we just exited to the main road and cycled backwards to NYGH, where we rested awhile, den we went to Crown Plaza to have a drink. The Mac there arh.. V stingy, dun wan gif us full cup of coke.. EEyerr.. After drinking we decided to head home. It was already like 5 10. We were on the opposite side of da road, HCJC there. So we cycle cycle, and while outside HCJC, SOMETHING HAPPENED!! Ok lar, this is wad I realli wanna post abt, cus tis the firs time I had a LEG CRAMP!!

It went like this. Glenn was leader as usual, me second, TY third, WP sweeper. Den rite, I was like "relaxing" my foot on one pedal when suddenly something weird happened. An intense pain hit my leg and I realised I cld no longer bend that leg, which was my left leg. Naturally, I panicked. I never felt this kind of pain be4 and honestly, I thought I dislocated my knee. So I did a stop and hopped off my bike, no chance getting off, my leg was soooo stiff. Den TY just cycle past without saying anything. Thank goodness WP stopped and he asked me wads wrong.

WP: yo, why you stop?
Me: ****, I think I dislocated my knee...
WP: Diao, try to sit.
Me: ****, I cant, I cant bend my ******* knee.
WP: Try.
Me: Wa lao eh, why mus this kind of ******* thing happen to me....
WP: You need to sit down.
Me: I try. (Den realising I cldnt, I fell backwards on purpose, den sat up straight.) Oh yeah, wanna know wad happened to my knee? Bio 101, our knee is positioned in front of the shin, and our thighs are also in front of the shin, not literaly in front, as in the position is more outwards. Wad happened was, my muscle tensed, den pulled back, creating a bulge at my thigh there, towards my right. The left side muscle all gone, cus got pulled to the right. Den the knee was pulled IN by the muscle, so my knee thigh and shin were of the same position. The kind of pain I experienced is like when you put ur leg in a REALLI weird position, den u r in pain, and u cant do ANYTHING abt it, so I was in CONSTANT pain.
WP: Feel better?
Me: ****, its so ******* painful. **** man...

Aha, now comes the interesting part, at this juncture, two girls from HCJC walked out of the school gates. Den they saw me sitting on da ground and WP beside me so they walked over. I was like "shit, so pain.." (more groanings).

Girl#1: Er, excuse me, do you need help.
Me (to WP): ****, I think tmr I no need go school liao...
Girl#1 (louder): Excuse me, do you need help.
Me: (Change to cheerful disposition and laughing abit, cus I FELT SO SHY!!!): Er.. ya.. I need to call my mom. (Reach into pocket for my HP) ****, my ******* HP is wif GLenn, and hes all da way in front...
WP: I think it will take them awhile to realise we are not behind...
Me: **** man, lidat how to take MT paper tmr...

Then at his point of time, Girl #2 reached for her bag, unzipped it den looked inside. I was still talking to WP and cursing. Then Girl #2 look at Girl #1, den look at me giving me this weird weird look. At first I never thought of it as anything. Den... THE TWO GIRLS WALKED AWAY!! At that time I was SOOO pissed. I mean, they are SO HYPOCRITICAL, ask me if I need help, den walk away... Den I just aiya, nvm lar, anywaes the pain starting to subside, but I cld feel like someone clamping my knee. I never realli thought of it anymore. Den, GLENN CAME BACK!!! So me n WP told GLenn wad happened, den Glenn laughed and said she probably thought I was a scammer -.-.... DIAO!!!! WHAT THE HECK!! I FEEL SO INSULTED. One thing, I DUN LOOK LIKE A SCAMMER.. I was like stun there, then come to think of it, realli seems so.. But... First time someone think me scammer. Feel so sad... And pissed.... And insulted.... But cant realli blame her right? There the place so secluded, ppl cant see at all, there were hedges seperating us from main road and fence on the other side. And then, TY came back.. NVm, den glenn let me rest awhile more. Thanks Glenn, for being so considerate. Den when I felt my leg cramp subsiding, I cycled again. We cycled some distance, when my right leg started to cramp.. So Again, I hopped off and sat down in da middle of da pavement. Den.. Glenn and TY sped ahead again. WP again stopped to help me. I realli appreciate his help. Realli, he is like a Godsent gift to me. I am realli glad God made me meet a loyal and trusted friend like him. I am truly grateful for him and thankful. He stayed wif me until the pain subsided. Den, GLENN CAME!!! Haha.. Realli funnie. Den we cycled again. Den my cramps were like NO MORE!! So I was cycling happily, we were at Bukit Timah Hill already, all was fine, until TY FELL into a grass trap... Den to prevent me from running into him, I emergency stop. Emergency stop means leaning all my weight onto one leg to stop the bike. Note, my bike seat was so high I had to tip toe to reach the floor. So, LEG CRAMP!! Den TY neva care, just cycle on.. Left me n WP again.. Den this time, I never recovered. The pain persisted. Glenn came back, den after that left, cus he mus reach home by 7, and it was almost 7. I dun blame him, since it is already so amazing he was so patient. Den me n WP slowly wheeled our bikes back to BP. I decided to go to glenn house ask him keep my bike, cus I was reluctant to cycle liao. Leg muscle in no condition to cycle. Den while walking we crapped alot.. And we saw an accident, so I was like, Im thankful my accident not so bad... Den we were talking about alot of things, from gals to, well, songs. He asked me wad was my worst way to die, so I replied to be killed by Grace, and his best way to die was to be killed by michele, cus he said thats wad michele wants and he wants wad michele wants. I get his logic lar... But not me lor... Dieing nvm, but the heartache.. worst.... Unless she realli hate me so much den want kill me den I nth to say.. But I doubt so.. Nvm, den we started talking abt songs, and we were singing a few songs to pass the time. TO gif u a scope of the time we spent walking, TY and Glenn left us at abt 6 50, and we arrived at BP at 8 10. Do the math man.. We walked so long while pushing our bikes. We started cycling at abt 4. So we were out for a grand total of 4 hrs 10 mins. The ironical thing was cycling supposed to build muscle, but after that, my muscle felt drained and weak. This morn also, I almost cld not climb the stairs. I was like wobbling everytime I planted my weight onto one foot. Budden, walking along BKt Timah road in da nite v romantic, soft light and nice surroundings, minus the cars.. I wish I cld walk down that road wif Grace... But nvm... Its just wishful thinking. For me, walking wif WP down that road was a gr8 experience, pls dun think dirty, but I feel I got to know him and appreciate him as a friend better. I've never had a better friend.

For that day, I finally saw the importance of friends. I sincerely thank Glenn, Wen Pu, and Tay Yi. I thank Tay yi least cus he also did least, but at least provide company. I am also touched by Glenn's patience. He gives me the impression that he abandons people, so for that day, I am truly grateful to him for his patience, for helping me. Last but not least, I am indebted to Wen Pu. He has proven time and again he is one loyal and trustworthy friend. I dun care wad others say, but wen pu is a great guy. I am realli touched and thankful that he was with me all the way, through my difficulties. He even cheered me up in that depression. He provided help and adviced me on wad to do when the muscle cramp came. Without him, I think I wld have been so afraid and so alone.. Thanks alot Wen Pu.. You are indeed a veri veri veri good friend. Wad made me saw the importance of friends was another thing. In contrast to my friend's concern, my parents were not so concerned. My dad came to pick me up and in da car, he scolded me. He wasnt even concerned if it still hurted.. Reached home, my mom reprimanded me over dinner. She also never even asked if I still hurt. Den, she came to my room after doing the dishes, and scolded me for not taking A maths paper from glenn when I went to his house to keep my bike. I mean, at that time, all I thought of was it was so late and my gratitude for Glenn's patience, so all I thought of was to show him my appreciation to him for helping keep my bike and his patience. So I just talked to him awhile den went off. In this kind of condition, who in da mood to think of A math??? Certainly not me... Den I felt so hurt (Yes, although I seem cheerful and smiley and heck care, I am still human and I have feelings), and I just went to sleep early to shut off all the thoughts.

One lesson I learnt, I shud stop being so cheerful, I shud be more moody. People just take me for granted. Like those 2 girls. If I had not smiled and laughed uneasily, my not so acting act wld have paid off. And I wasnt even acting. If they were in my shoes they'd be crying. 3 yrs ago if this happened to me, or even two years ago I wld definitely be crying. Not now. I just looked at it in a comical way. Im lame!! Literaly lame! Not just figuratively lame anymore... True that I was fustrated, but who wldnt be?

Yet another survey... This one created by me! The survey goes like this. Name 4 DotA hero skills that you would like to learn and use in REALITY. State WHY you chose that skill. After that, tag as many people as you want to do this survey.

1) Guardian Angel- I wanna protect the people I love and make lots and lots of money. Den I can use it to heal people who are injured and be the ULTIMATE DOCTOR IN THIS WORLD MWAHAHA!!!

2) Hand of God- I dun even know why I chose this skill, but the name sounds cool. I would use it to heal all my friends. Haha, I am a healer!!

3) Holy Persuasion- I wanna use this to persuade people, den I can become ULTIMATE LAWYER!! LOL!! Ultimate doctor and lawyer, I will be soooo rich.. I will use it to persuade the judge that my client is innocent or the other party is guilty. Can make people do wad I want them to do. Can get ANY gal in this world!!

4) Teleport- Den I can get to places FAST!! Imagine how much money I can save on air travel, not that I will care, since if I got my above skills I will be sooooo rich.

People tagged:
1) Glenn
2) Tay Yi
3) Wen Pu
4) Dexter
5) Jin Zhe

Name 20 pple u can think of at the top of your head. Dun read the below qns before u write, and tag 5 ppl to do this survey.

1. Grace
2. Wei Ning
3. Wen Pu
4. Glenn
5. Tay Yi
6. Dexter
7. Jordan
8. Kok Hong
9. Wen Ying
10. Hui Yang
11. Rachel
12. Huang Zhi
13. Justin
14. Wilson
15. Ben
16. Qing Ping
17. Jin Zhe
18. Ting Jun
19. Dong Wei
20. George

How did you meet 14? (Wilson)
Sec 1 Science Team.

What would you do if you never meet 1? (Grace)
I would be who I've been who is hated by who I am.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? (George and Wen Ying)
Wish them good luck lor...

Did you ever liked 19? (Dong Wei)
I am not gay, we are frens onli.

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? (Dexter and Jin Zhe)
YES!!!

Describe 3 (Wen Pu)
Nerd, Arrogant, Loyal, Eccentric, the list goes on...

Do you think 8 is attractive? (Kok Hong)
Heck, I am NOT gay...

Tell me smth about 7. (Jordan)
Tall... Very tall..

Do you know any of 12's family? (Huang Zhi)
No... Only him.

Whats 8's favourite? (Kok Hong)
Soldat?

What would you do if 11 confesses dat he/she likes you? (Rachel)
I will be dumbstruck for who will ever like me...

What lanquage does 15 speak? (Ben)
English..

Who is 9 going out with? (Wen Ying)
Not sure, was Wei Zhong..

How old is 16 now? (Qing Ping)
I think 15...

When was the last time you talked to 13? (Justin)
Today..

What is 2's fav band/singer? (Wei Ning)
Miyamoto Shunichi

Would you ever date 4? (Glenn)
YEAH MAN!!! In DotA, wad were you thinkin?

Would you date 7? (Jordan)
No, too tall for me...

Is 15 single? (Ben)
I think so, but he got alot gf...

What is 10's last name? (Hui Yang)
Seah.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11? (Rachel)
No. Oh, w8, YES!! Serious FRIENDSHIP.. HAHA!!

What school does 3 go to? (Wen Pu)
Same school as me, BPGHS..

Where does 6 live? (Dexter)
Bangkit.

Whats ur fav thing about no 5? (Tay Yi)
His humour..

Have you seen number 1 naked? (Grace)
Heck, NO!!!

Now tag 5 ppl you want to do this survey.
1) Grace
2) Wei Ning
3) Wen Pu
4) Dexter
5) Kok Hong

"Who I am hates who I've been, but who I am is not much different from who I've been, so who I would be would hate who I am who hates who I've been..." - My twisted logic.

Did you understand the above statement? Of course you do, you are not that stupid, not like ME. Cus I do not get what I have just written and it's twisted. Why am I posting when I shud be studying SS? I dun know, you tell me.. Ok, together now, CUS I AM LAME!!!! haha.... wadeva..

NEways, just wanna post some Did you knows...

Did you know?
1) The old prime meridian was the rose line and its found in paris running through the Saint Sulpice Church? After 1966, the line was officially moved to Greenwich, England.
2) The pentagram is not the sign of the devil but is actually the sign of the sacred feminine. The lines divides themselves into the Divine proportion Phi.
3) Leonardo was once the Grandmaster of the Priory of Sion? It is a secret brotherhood that is said to guard the location of the Holy Grail.
4) Opus Dei is a Vatican prelature, a deeply devout Catholic sect. They practise Corporal mortification. Which is placing a brabed cilice belt around the waste. This cilice belt has sharp edges that dig into the skin causing pain to the wearer. When the wearer is sexually aroused, the muscles tense and the sharp edges dig deeper, causing pain that cancels the effects of lust.

ZzZ.. Nth else to post abt. Oh, felt v sad today cus my bio practical lose 7 marks already. All because of a stupid mistake. In a hurry, I drew the graph in the wrong direction and even though my points are correct, the general shape of the curve is wrong. Haiz.... Okay, I think nth else liao. Probably wun be posting until after exams..

I have decided I am not gonna post updates of my story. I will post the whole thing upon finishing. WP played a vital role in persuading me not to post haha. He wants to be the first to read it. Though I have no idea why. But heck, since he my best friend, I listen to him.

Today musical we did Waltzing again. Cool. Monday also waltzing. I LOVE waltzing, it's so FUN!!! Jordan got so many small actions tt make us laugh. I think Jordan dance so well loh.. Or isit cus the instructor dance v well? Nvm, Jordan like practise so hard, no wonder so good. Grace also dance well. Den today me n glenn decided to learn the female part also. So we took turns being guy and girl. I feel that this way, we know like wad difficulties our partners are having and we can play more of an active role to help out. Right now I got all the moves down, but the ending part the waltz one round one I dunno how to do. I keep thinking I do wrongly. Need someone to help me. N today, Grace n Eugene mus keep holding the waltz pose together, and mus call ppl to pei them. Den so funny cus they call tall girl wif short guy, so... Weird lar, like Nabil and Jia Xuan. HAHA!!! Ok, me ish so evilez, since me ish also short. I think I grew to 162? Donno. I hope to grow to 170. Seems like one far-fetched dream.

MYE is coming soon, I think everyone is bz studying for it. Hope I score well. I also began studying liaoz, but stress ah!! NEways, nid to slp soon, so I stop here bah.

Ok, I promised I would post a story, so here it is, UNCOMPLETED!!! This is merely chapter one and is already 950 words.. Haiz, it is progressing slower than I thought, I had wanted it to be short, but I fear 10,000 words would be a good estimate...

Lucifer had always been shy, and was never one to make himself the centre of attraction. His only circle of friends was limited to a few close ones. He only confided in them and not to anyone else, not even his family. He strode to school alone as usual, for loneliness was one of his closest friends and never seemed to leave him.

“ Hey Lucy! ” one of his friends shouted. Lucifer cringed at the usage of his nickname, his name had supposed to be something magnificent, for it meant Bringer of Light, but people seemed to find a way to put it down.

“ Hey Kahn! What a surprise to meet you here. ” Lucifer replied, happy to see a companion. It was rare for him to meet his friends and he was tired of loneliness accompanying him. The two then walked abreast, chatting up a storm, from choir, to Defence of the Ancients. Minutes passed like seconds and they were at the school gate.

“ Wow, it always seemed like hours before I reach here when I’ m alone, ” Lucifer wondered aloud. “It’s great to have you with me dude, glad you came when you did. Hey, wanna meet up same time same place for the rest of the year?” Lucifer asked.

“Sure, I rather like coming to school early anyway.” Kahn replied, and the twosome strode through the school gates. “It’s so ironical how the school gate is so brightly painted when it is actually the gates of Hell.” Kahn said cheekily. The two then parted ways and went to their respective classes.

Lessons were boring and Lucifer was already dozing off in his chair. It had always been a wonder to him how certain people can keep awake in class when the teacher was so monotonous and uninteresting, merely reading off the PowerPoint slide. Lucifer began wishing for the day to end so he could go for his CCA, which was choir, and is in his friends’ company. They were his only saving grace of coming to school. Otherwise, he would probably have quit school.

The bell of freedom finally rang shrilly, and everyone dashed out of the doors like a flood breaching flood breakers. Lucifer ran up the four flights of stairs to his friends’ class. Together, they trouped down to the canteen, where they had their lunch. Computer games were the common topic among them and they were happily talking about strategies they were going to use in the upcoming tournament. After eating, they packed their bags and made their way to the Music Room, for it is there the Choir practise sessions were held.

They were too early and there was no one there, so they sat down and chatted, taking advantage of the air-conditioning. Lucifer strode over to the piano, planted himself onto the seat, and began playing Canon in D. Kahn stood beside Lucifer and watched his fingers fly across the piano, hitting each key deliberately and correctly, producing a melodious tune. Kahn gave comments on the playing, and corrected some fingering positions. The door opened, and the sunlight poured in, and a girl stepped in. Lucifer never saw the girl enter and was still engrossed in his playing. She walked over to the piano and watched him play, appreciating the music. When he was done, he looked up and was shocked to see a girl staring down at him. He broke out in cold sweat for he was shy and was not used to being the attention of a girl, especially one as pretty as her. He had never seen her before, but he was simply struck by her beauty and wished he had met her earlier. It had been love at first sight and his heart was thumping wildly.

“ You play the piano well. Great song. ” She praised him, smiled, and walked away.

Lucifer flushed, his cheeks turning bright red. His friends began taking pot shots at him, making snide comments and laughing at the colour of his cheek. He rushed back to his seat and sat down.

“ Aww, love at first sight? " Kahn said cheekily.
“ Shut up! ” Lucifer retorted, embarrassed at his reaction to the compliment.
“ Fine, be that way. ” Kahn replied, pretending to be angry at the outburst.
“ Sorry, but it’s just that it’s so infuriating how you guys like to make fun of me. ” Lucifer apologized.

Soon, the Music Room began filling up as more and more people entered. Finally, the conductor was here and his entrance silenced everyone. Although he was a jolly person, when his mood was foul, no one dared to anger him further for fear of his wrath. Warm-up proceeded, and everyone began singing Oos and Las. Then, they got down to business and began practising the songs for performance. Before long, the room was filled with voices of different sections blending seamlessly producing an enchanting choir rendition of Sound of Silence. Time flew past quickly, and choir ended. Everyone got ready to leave, and Lucifer was eager to catch another glimpse of that girl who had so enchanted him. He still did not know her name and he wanted to find out. However, he did not manage to see her and disheartened, he followed his friends. The first day he saw her was gone, and it promised a series of unfortunate events and heartbreaks that was to befall him. However, Lucifer did not know of this, he thought this was good fortune and he was elated to have met her. He may have thought otherwise had he known what was to happen in the near future. For now, he was in a state of bliss of having met an angel.

Ok, under TY's pestering, actually, his comment, I shall... Post....

NEways, even if he did not pester me, I wld still have post, cus... I cannot let the blog be stagnant... NEways, there will be one SUPER long post soon... It's one of my works of cus... A story... But when I can finish it, I do not know. I estimate it to have a word count of 5000.

Hmm.. The idea for this story, came to me, at a weird time and place. It came to me while I was sleeping and on the bed, of course.. And no, there ain't no SEX. Pls lar... I'm not like this... I'm chaste ok! Of course, if this came out of the mouths of say.. Erhem erhem, den obv got PORN.. LOL!! But from me... nonono... XD, besides the point. I now thinking of how to shorten the story, cus I dun want it be longwinded. If not can be 10000 words.. Read until sian.. For the sake of making this post long, I shall add in a poem written by my sis.. For me... Haha, she is such a nice sis!! I wonder why I didn't see it there before...

Unrequited love

It’s so frustratin’
Everytime I see you
You turn away from me
As if I was the flu

It’s so frustratin’
Sitting out back
Only starin’
Afraid you’d fled

It’s so frustratin’
That I’m so close yet so far
Realize I too am a bein’
And I can’t just give you up

Do you see the end of the water
Where I wait so patiently
You are one of the rarer
That make me go so puny

Do you see the end of the water
Where my love waits
Like gold sulphur
Yet you never let it sate

Do you see the end of the water
Where I stand and declare
That you are my girl
And I’m trapped in your snare

Now I just hide in the dark
And wait for you to understand
That this is not a lark
That I’m truly in love

With you.

Well, I bet you all noticed the layout has changed.... And no... I did not do this layout. I just customized it, I did not do any real major change. I dun haf the time to start a layout from scratch, and I conveniently found this cute layout on Blogskin, so I dled it. Ok, tts all, I dun wanna post abt layouts.....

Today principal came to watch our performance up to where we learned, and I was like stressed out, cus I scared make mistake den sarbo ppl. NEways, I realli h8 leaping at Dex, everytime I leap at him I crash my knee on the floor, now got bruise and there got a bulge, cus it swollen. Luckily, this week is a short week, monday tuesday wednesday, den SPORTS day, and den GOOD FRIDAY!!! Haha, so short rite?? NEways, I tried one hand push-up, I did a grand total of......... 2 -.-ll. It's hard man!! Believe you me, its realli HARD!!

I realli want a betta role actually, although I am contented now. I am easily contented. I am wad you call a COWARD. I dun dare to fight for what I want, even if I realli want it. Like example wld be, if I tried to pursue Grace, and I have competition, I think I probably give up... But den again, I might not! I might even go to extremes, but I dun think so lar... Realli lor, everytime my mom say no to sth I dun ask anymore. I am sooooooo COWARDLY!! NEways, I practising everyone's role EXCEPT the female roles of course... Cus... Ok, dis is rather evil, but when we were at Mac today, we were like wondering wad will happen if one of the main cast fell sick on the day the performance is, wad will happen? But I dun believe so zun lar, I think at most is a few days before fall sick. I think, I wanna be... SUBSTITUTE!!! Haha, I probably can memorize their lines, I mean, how hard it is -.-... I can do a monologue from scene 1 all the way to be our guest for most of the characters. The one I know 100% is Belle, Gaston, and Maurice. Beast is like 80%.

It's killing me to know you without having a chance to hold you, and I wanna do is show you how I realli feel inside. You can run to me, or you can laugh at me, or you can walk right out that door... But we can't be just friends... Anymore..

You dun know wad its like, when nothing feels alright, you dun know wad its like to be like me, so stop envying me.... You dun know wad it feels to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked, when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you. No, you dunno wad it's like to be like me. "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me..." I do not even have a shadow... I feel so alone...

New theory patented in the US patent office: "None are born noob, Most achieve noobness, Few have noobness thrust upon them." What this theory meant, was that if you are a noob, its your own doing and no one can pull you out of this mess except yourself.

I am so sick and tired of ppl knowing my password even if I do not tell them, so I think I am going to ENCRYPT IT!! WAHAHHA!! NO MORE PPLE HACKING INTO MY ACCOUNT!! BTW, an example of encryption is: GCARENAWG. I think WP will know how to decode it. But if I set password, it will be sth like above. Seems like random letterings but if you can decode it means sth. In fact, I can even change it to numbers!! The above can be converted to: 731185141237. Or other combinations! HAHA, So... It is gonna be HARD to guess my pass now!! Not that you realli wanna hack my accounts, but I just feel like I shud do this in case some funny person wants to screw my accounts.

Okie, I dun thinx I got anything else to post, oh yeah, Clan LegO beat Clan S1nz last Friday. I felt the match was effortless and absolutely EZ to win. Ah well. Srrry for not posting for a long time XD... Felt too lazy to.