+ SEVEN things that make me smile +
1) Seeing / talking to Her
2) Seeing / talking to my true friends
3) Dogs
4) Taguchi Junnosuke
5) Horses
6) Embarrasing moments
7) When she smiles

+ SEVEN ways to win my heart +
1) Talk to me
2) Be Her
3) Have a sweet voice
4) Look innocent and cute (Junno!)
5) Have a love for animals
6) Cheerful
7) Sarcastic

+ SEVEN things I believe in +
1) God
2) Equality between animals and humans
3) True Love
4) Reality is not a dream, hence dreams dun come true
5) Eden ( paradise )
6) Affinity
7) Loneliness

+ SEVEN things im afraid of +
1) The Unknown
2) Rejection
3) Embarrasment
4) Horror movies
5) Being onstage
6) Not being able to grow taller
7) Losing people I love

+ SEVEN things I do everyday +
1) Sleep
2) Eat
3) Think of Her
4) Use the toilet
5) Play
6) 10 Pushups (More if I feel like it)
7) Drink milk

+ SEVEN people i wanna see +
1) Her
2) Taguchi Junnosuke
3) Kamenashi Kazuya
4) Liv Tyler
5) Stephen Lynch
6) Akanashi Jin
7) Wen Pu

+ Seven People whom i choose to do this +
1) Grace
2) Dexter
3) Theresa
4) Wen Pu
5) Glenn
6) Jin Zhe
7) Wei Ning

First, to address Dex comment. I wanna gay wif Taguchi Junnosuke. If u wanna know who's he, look at my current DP.

Today, an unfortunate incident happened to me (when does it not happen?). Originally, I wanted to blog about it to full extent, including what I felt, however, I decided against it, due to the excessive racism and profanities. The outline is, this guy (Obv a black, hence the racism) stopped me while i wanted to go watch Da Vinci Code. Actually, quite expected, since I'm still under 16...... BY 5 MONTHS..... Wth.... Its so lame. His explanation? Even 1 day before ALSO CANNOT... Wth... That is freaking dumb... NEways, I was pissed at his attitude. He was so rude and unhelpful and unsympathetic. I mean, I wasted 8.50 on the ticket.... And the stuck up thing was, they shoulda checked age at the counter, NOT AT ENTRY.. WTH, OBV THEY WANNA CON PPL.. I almost tossed my popcorn into his face. Den later I went to see the manager. THe manager equally crappy... WTH, not at all concerned, his attitude sux.. Lousy manager, shud be sacked. Then lata, went Mac eat my dinner. So pissed that after half the meal i was full, and decided to take LRT to release my anger. So I took one full round, den went half a round. Met Jordan in the LRT and we got off at Jelapang. Den I went to look for Wen Pu who agreed to come out wif me. Thanks alot!!!

I thought abt it alot. Den I realised I shud be thankful Grace went out wif her frens to watch Da Vinci Code. And not wif me. I mean, can you imagine if we went there together and I stuck outside. She born in 31 Jan so can get in. Me 10/10... Darn, almost snuck in. The first check the person thought I born 10/01.. First time I felt God was wif me. I always felt I'm unlucky and God just forsake me. More or less there lar, just for that once.

After that, WP and I went back to Lot 1 to meet up wif the rest. We went to Mac and talk, where all my thoughts I poured out. Lots of racism in them... But I was so irritated.... Den we decided to go to Bkt Timah to eat prata. We went there in Mr Goh's car, all of us squeezed in the back. Us = Me, WP, TY, TJ, and Glenn. WP sat in front. We went there and ordered prata. We finished the prata pretty fast, but we started chatting abt wad happen to us in the past year. We stayed very long on the topic abt hair and teeth. Mr Goh and TY scaring us abt wisdom tooth and the extraction process. Den TY and I say we wanna dye our hair after Os. I dyeing mine bronze, AND leaving long hair. I wanna style my hair like JUNNO!!! Den Mr Goh suggest I get braces on my lower jaw, cus the teeth out of alignment. And then we started talking abt BGR. We discussed who go wif who now, and Mr Goh v interested to know who is Michele. Den I told Goh I infatuated wif another person now. Haha, u can guess, JUNNO!!!! Den Mr Goh say "Looks like Grace had alot of impact on you.." Diao, I just think he veri handsome wad... I both infatuated and jealous of him. Haiz, he just seems so perfect. Tall, handsome, acrobatic, can dance, can sing, and can do math!! He's got brawn AND brains. WHile I have the lack of both. I wish I were him.... I dun wanna be myself..... Then lata we talked abt other stuffs, den Glenn say Grace cut her hair v bad for musical cus Belle supposed to have long hair. Oh, and Goh also asked why I so open abt it. My reply was simple. WP help me leak it already, there no need for me to keep it a secret. Basically anyone who knows me knows I like her. At least ppl whom I spend more time wif. Den we started crapping that Glenn has a girl he likes. Haha, but that topic was left hanging, cus seriously, we have no idea who Glenn likes, IF he has one.

Got home and I was like yuening to my mom abt wad happened. This is when i realli feel that frens are better than parents. My dad actuallly asked me to shut up and go out. WTH!!! He was working lar, but his work more impt than me? Wow, I shall now treat my games more impt than him. Realli, why do I need a dad when my dad has absolutely no concern for me?

Sometimes, I wish I never existed. THen I dun even need to go through the pain, nor dying.
Wow, that is so totally awesome. Sometimes, I wish I were a flirt, den I wldnt be stuck on one girl and wlda went around flirting. Soemtimes, I wish I can dance, den I can dance like Kat-Tun. Sometimes, I wish I can sing, den I can sing like JUNNO!! Sometimes, I wish I was born another person. Like if I were born as Junno. Life wlda been great.

I lead such a sad life.. Sometimes, I just wish I have the courage to end my life. Why. My life is just full of pain, disappointments, rejections, dejections. I got rejected by the only girl I have ever loved. My results are crap. My parents refuse to buy Heroes 5 for me. Why is my life.. So meaningless. So pointless. So useless. Worst of all, so painful.

I wish I were gay. If I were gay, I wouldnt have loved you. If I were gay, I would literaly be happy. If I were gay, I would be much closer to my friends. If I were gay, I would have much fewer problems.

I wish I had the courage to end my life. If I had the courage, all my pain would have ended. If I had the courage, I wouldnt be suffering in silence. If I had the courage, all my problems would have solved. If I had the courage, lots of people would have been happier.

Why? Why can't it be like it was, before.... Why can't I be like a primary school kid anymore? Why am I so corrupted, and so detestable. Why? I hate myself. I hate myself now. The "I" in my future hates my present now, and my present now hates my future "I". Who I am in the future would surely be like who I am now. Who I was is lost in time. I want so much to be who I was.

Shangri-La ni akogarete... (I yearn for paradise)

In my fading conciousness, all I could think was: Someone, tell her that I will be late. But I will surely get there, so please wait for me.

Dareka kanojo ni tsutaetekure yo, hoomu no haji de matteru hazu sa. Chotto okureru kamoshirenai keredo, kanarazu yuku kara soko de mattero yo.

Unfortunately, I know when I get there, there will be no one there. Just me, and an empty place.

I wonder how many of you feel this way. Not alot I bet. Everyone around me seems to be having a good life. Then why am I suffering this way? Was it what I done in my previous life? Was I a terrorist? Or maybe Adolf Hitler? Or was I Stalin? What did I do to deserve this? Or was I John Wilkes Booth? I dun see why is my life so horrible.

I look at Kat-Tun, and I feel that I am very sad. Those guys are so handsome, and talented in dancing and singing. Me? I'm ugly, untalented, stupid, lazy. I dance like an elephant and sing like sandpaper rubbing against each other.

Someday, I may just have the courage to end my life. But I can only hope for such a day. Or hope for a day where my life takes a better turn. But that day will come later than the day I have the courage to end my life. Or maybe never. For I bet I sinned alot in my previous life so I am suffering so much now. And just so I cannot have the easy way out by killing myself, God makes me too cowardly to end my own life.

Counting down the days to 19th May and 23rd May. Why? 19th May is the opening of Da Vinci Code, which I wanna watch. 23rd May is the official release date of Heroes 5!!! Yeah!!! Heroes 4 was so crappy, Heroes 5 looks like a realli decent game, thks to Nival for all the gr8 work they put into the game. I will DEFINITELY buy it. Oh man, I feel so excited. Been a fan of the Heroes franchise since Heroes 1!! Haha, fan boy!!

Exams are nearly over, left the bio paper, lit paper, E math paper 2, and chem paper 1. Plus a listening compre. Ah, the gr8 days ahead after the mid years and before the results, lol. Looking forward 2 going for the musical again. Also, middle two wks in June going Adelaide! Wonder wad I will be doing there. Bio paper is so taxing on the brain, so much facts to memorize.. Didnt study lit at all today.. Tmr lit exam die liao.. Hopefully I can miraculously recall all that I've learnt/read. Actually, I totally forgot most of wad I wanted to post... Haiz.. Memory so bad. Today went cycling again wif GLenn n WP. This time we went to Bkt Timah Hill and we climbed it on our bikes. THe gradient is soooo crazy. Its so rocky and steep that some parts we had to get off and wheel the bikes up. Even at gear 3, I had a hard time cycling up the slope.. And it was so muddy, yux, at least come home shower liao feel so shuang. K.. nth else...

What have you done? how much have you experienced?(copy and paste on2 ur own blogs.)

(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die [sort of. Only Ning will know what I mean. If she still remembers what I told him]
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) love someone or miss someone right now [Alwayz]
(x) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
( ) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely [Alwayz have been]
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake id [In games]
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) been through a hurricane
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars [Don't everyone? Ur just blocked by the roof.]
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed [Been robbed of my sanity and my love]
(x) been misunderstood
( ) danced in the moonlight [I can only wish]
( ) liked the way I look
( ) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned my heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost [Figuratively, I still am]
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swum in the ocean
(x) felt like dying [Still feel like]
(x) cried yourself to sleep [More than once]
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't [Fell in love before JC over]
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe [I can only wish, and hope..]
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone roller-skating
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didn't take a shower for a week [In the States during Winter]
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree [not apple]
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on
( ) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
( ) cheated on a lover [I dun even have a lover..]
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain

This was supposed to be posted ytd, but my mom switched off internet and I ended up sleeping early.. OK, for those who read TY's version, it was accurate to a moderate extent. I post what ACTUALLY happened, as far as I can remember. I shall include description :D.. Helps my compo... XD XD... Okay, so here goes.... Crap.. SHud I do it story style or recount? Storecount bah.. HAHA!!

Ytd went cycling wif Glenn, WP, TY, and myself. Actually, I almost cancelled the cycling trip, cus of the overcast skies. In the end, I decided I shall go ahead wif our cycling plans.. TY and I cycled to Glenn's place first to meet up wif Glenn and WP. Den, we decided, or I did, to cycle to NYGH. No idea why, I just liked the houses there, looks so big and nice. Challenging also, cus of distance plus gradient. We had to climb not one, but two hills! And of course, I sarboed everyone to climb 2 more hills. 2 REALLI STEEP HILLS!! So, our great journey to the East started. We set off from BP at a breakneck pace, literal meaning, cus if u fall off at that speed ur gonna break ur neck. TY had trouble catching up and WP was lagging behind cus WP was "Sweeper", meaning hes the last man. Den me n glenn were like all the way in front. We went too far, realised they werent behind, den we stopped. We had already conquered our first hill and both of us were expecting TY to struggle. Countdown, 30 seconds to 1 min later, TY APPEARED!!! And TY was v happi to conquer that hill. We continued forward and WP warned TY of a second bigger hill. The second bigger hill came at around beauty world there. To me, it was smaller. Gradient smaller, but length of hill longer. However, to our great exhiliration, it was one immense downhill all the way to Adam's Park. So we just zoomed down and den we continued straight. Cycled some distance and came to this opening at Eton house. I told them turn in cus I wanna go c nice houses, and also betta to cycle in da prime estate than by the roadside. More scenery. So we cycled inside. Hehe, wad greeted us was a hill wif the gradient of 3? y=3x. XD XD, den TY was like SIAN!!! Den me n glenn chiong in front again.. Wah, muscles felt like they on fire. Den we reached the top and waited for them, den... THEY WERE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!! In the end, we realised WP and TY went one big round and redezvous wif us, den I gave wrong directions and we cycled deeper into the estates. Who ask all the houses there to look so alike... Den we saw this realli big hill, and I thot maybe up there, so we cycled up. Well, not we, me n glenn. WP and TY had to wheel their bikes up. This hill.. Had a gradient of 5? It was so steep that a garbage truck cldnt climb it. It rolled downhill after progressing halfway, den me n glenn laughing at the top of da hill. After that, we realised we were in da middle of nowhere, so we decided to descend the hill. WOOHOO!! ANOTHER BIG DOWNHILL!!!! Den we appeared beside singapore telecoms -.-ll.. We overshot NYGH. So we just exited to the main road and cycled backwards to NYGH, where we rested awhile, den we went to Crown Plaza to have a drink. The Mac there arh.. V stingy, dun wan gif us full cup of coke.. EEyerr.. After drinking we decided to head home. It was already like 5 10. We were on the opposite side of da road, HCJC there. So we cycle cycle, and while outside HCJC, SOMETHING HAPPENED!! Ok lar, this is wad I realli wanna post abt, cus tis the firs time I had a LEG CRAMP!!

It went like this. Glenn was leader as usual, me second, TY third, WP sweeper. Den rite, I was like "relaxing" my foot on one pedal when suddenly something weird happened. An intense pain hit my leg and I realised I cld no longer bend that leg, which was my left leg. Naturally, I panicked. I never felt this kind of pain be4 and honestly, I thought I dislocated my knee. So I did a stop and hopped off my bike, no chance getting off, my leg was soooo stiff. Den TY just cycle past without saying anything. Thank goodness WP stopped and he asked me wads wrong.

WP: yo, why you stop?
Me: ****, I think I dislocated my knee...
WP: Diao, try to sit.
Me: ****, I cant, I cant bend my ******* knee.
WP: Try.
Me: Wa lao eh, why mus this kind of ******* thing happen to me....
WP: You need to sit down.
Me: I try. (Den realising I cldnt, I fell backwards on purpose, den sat up straight.) Oh yeah, wanna know wad happened to my knee? Bio 101, our knee is positioned in front of the shin, and our thighs are also in front of the shin, not literaly in front, as in the position is more outwards. Wad happened was, my muscle tensed, den pulled back, creating a bulge at my thigh there, towards my right. The left side muscle all gone, cus got pulled to the right. Den the knee was pulled IN by the muscle, so my knee thigh and shin were of the same position. The kind of pain I experienced is like when you put ur leg in a REALLI weird position, den u r in pain, and u cant do ANYTHING abt it, so I was in CONSTANT pain.
WP: Feel better?
Me: ****, its so ******* painful. **** man...

Aha, now comes the interesting part, at this juncture, two girls from HCJC walked out of the school gates. Den they saw me sitting on da ground and WP beside me so they walked over. I was like "shit, so pain.." (more groanings).

Girl#1: Er, excuse me, do you need help.
Me (to WP): ****, I think tmr I no need go school liao...
Girl#1 (louder): Excuse me, do you need help.
Me: (Change to cheerful disposition and laughing abit, cus I FELT SO SHY!!!): Er.. ya.. I need to call my mom. (Reach into pocket for my HP) ****, my ******* HP is wif GLenn, and hes all da way in front...
WP: I think it will take them awhile to realise we are not behind...
Me: **** man, lidat how to take MT paper tmr...

Then at his point of time, Girl #2 reached for her bag, unzipped it den looked inside. I was still talking to WP and cursing. Then Girl #2 look at Girl #1, den look at me giving me this weird weird look. At first I never thought of it as anything. Den... THE TWO GIRLS WALKED AWAY!! At that time I was SOOO pissed. I mean, they are SO HYPOCRITICAL, ask me if I need help, den walk away... Den I just aiya, nvm lar, anywaes the pain starting to subside, but I cld feel like someone clamping my knee. I never realli thought of it anymore. Den, GLENN CAME BACK!!! So me n WP told GLenn wad happened, den Glenn laughed and said she probably thought I was a scammer -.-.... DIAO!!!! WHAT THE HECK!! I FEEL SO INSULTED. One thing, I DUN LOOK LIKE A SCAMMER.. I was like stun there, then come to think of it, realli seems so.. But... First time someone think me scammer. Feel so sad... And pissed.... And insulted.... But cant realli blame her right? There the place so secluded, ppl cant see at all, there were hedges seperating us from main road and fence on the other side. And then, TY came back.. NVm, den glenn let me rest awhile more. Thanks Glenn, for being so considerate. Den when I felt my leg cramp subsiding, I cycled again. We cycled some distance, when my right leg started to cramp.. So Again, I hopped off and sat down in da middle of da pavement. Den.. Glenn and TY sped ahead again. WP again stopped to help me. I realli appreciate his help. Realli, he is like a Godsent gift to me. I am realli glad God made me meet a loyal and trusted friend like him. I am truly grateful for him and thankful. He stayed wif me until the pain subsided. Den, GLENN CAME!!! Haha.. Realli funnie. Den we cycled again. Den my cramps were like NO MORE!! So I was cycling happily, we were at Bukit Timah Hill already, all was fine, until TY FELL into a grass trap... Den to prevent me from running into him, I emergency stop. Emergency stop means leaning all my weight onto one leg to stop the bike. Note, my bike seat was so high I had to tip toe to reach the floor. So, LEG CRAMP!! Den TY neva care, just cycle on.. Left me n WP again.. Den this time, I never recovered. The pain persisted. Glenn came back, den after that left, cus he mus reach home by 7, and it was almost 7. I dun blame him, since it is already so amazing he was so patient. Den me n WP slowly wheeled our bikes back to BP. I decided to go to glenn house ask him keep my bike, cus I was reluctant to cycle liao. Leg muscle in no condition to cycle. Den while walking we crapped alot.. And we saw an accident, so I was like, Im thankful my accident not so bad... Den we were talking about alot of things, from gals to, well, songs. He asked me wad was my worst way to die, so I replied to be killed by Grace, and his best way to die was to be killed by michele, cus he said thats wad michele wants and he wants wad michele wants. I get his logic lar... But not me lor... Dieing nvm, but the heartache.. worst.... Unless she realli hate me so much den want kill me den I nth to say.. But I doubt so.. Nvm, den we started talking abt songs, and we were singing a few songs to pass the time. TO gif u a scope of the time we spent walking, TY and Glenn left us at abt 6 50, and we arrived at BP at 8 10. Do the math man.. We walked so long while pushing our bikes. We started cycling at abt 4. So we were out for a grand total of 4 hrs 10 mins. The ironical thing was cycling supposed to build muscle, but after that, my muscle felt drained and weak. This morn also, I almost cld not climb the stairs. I was like wobbling everytime I planted my weight onto one foot. Budden, walking along BKt Timah road in da nite v romantic, soft light and nice surroundings, minus the cars.. I wish I cld walk down that road wif Grace... But nvm... Its just wishful thinking. For me, walking wif WP down that road was a gr8 experience, pls dun think dirty, but I feel I got to know him and appreciate him as a friend better. I've never had a better friend.

For that day, I finally saw the importance of friends. I sincerely thank Glenn, Wen Pu, and Tay Yi. I thank Tay yi least cus he also did least, but at least provide company. I am also touched by Glenn's patience. He gives me the impression that he abandons people, so for that day, I am truly grateful to him for his patience, for helping me. Last but not least, I am indebted to Wen Pu. He has proven time and again he is one loyal and trustworthy friend. I dun care wad others say, but wen pu is a great guy. I am realli touched and thankful that he was with me all the way, through my difficulties. He even cheered me up in that depression. He provided help and adviced me on wad to do when the muscle cramp came. Without him, I think I wld have been so afraid and so alone.. Thanks alot Wen Pu.. You are indeed a veri veri veri good friend. Wad made me saw the importance of friends was another thing. In contrast to my friend's concern, my parents were not so concerned. My dad came to pick me up and in da car, he scolded me. He wasnt even concerned if it still hurted.. Reached home, my mom reprimanded me over dinner. She also never even asked if I still hurt. Den, she came to my room after doing the dishes, and scolded me for not taking A maths paper from glenn when I went to his house to keep my bike. I mean, at that time, all I thought of was it was so late and my gratitude for Glenn's patience, so all I thought of was to show him my appreciation to him for helping keep my bike and his patience. So I just talked to him awhile den went off. In this kind of condition, who in da mood to think of A math??? Certainly not me... Den I felt so hurt (Yes, although I seem cheerful and smiley and heck care, I am still human and I have feelings), and I just went to sleep early to shut off all the thoughts.

One lesson I learnt, I shud stop being so cheerful, I shud be more moody. People just take me for granted. Like those 2 girls. If I had not smiled and laughed uneasily, my not so acting act wld have paid off. And I wasnt even acting. If they were in my shoes they'd be crying. 3 yrs ago if this happened to me, or even two years ago I wld definitely be crying. Not now. I just looked at it in a comical way. Im lame!! Literaly lame! Not just figuratively lame anymore... True that I was fustrated, but who wldnt be?

Yet another survey... This one created by me! The survey goes like this. Name 4 DotA hero skills that you would like to learn and use in REALITY. State WHY you chose that skill. After that, tag as many people as you want to do this survey.

1) Guardian Angel- I wanna protect the people I love and make lots and lots of money. Den I can use it to heal people who are injured and be the ULTIMATE DOCTOR IN THIS WORLD MWAHAHA!!!

2) Hand of God- I dun even know why I chose this skill, but the name sounds cool. I would use it to heal all my friends. Haha, I am a healer!!

3) Holy Persuasion- I wanna use this to persuade people, den I can become ULTIMATE LAWYER!! LOL!! Ultimate doctor and lawyer, I will be soooo rich.. I will use it to persuade the judge that my client is innocent or the other party is guilty. Can make people do wad I want them to do. Can get ANY gal in this world!!

4) Teleport- Den I can get to places FAST!! Imagine how much money I can save on air travel, not that I will care, since if I got my above skills I will be sooooo rich.

People tagged:
1) Glenn
2) Tay Yi
3) Wen Pu
4) Dexter
5) Jin Zhe

Name 20 pple u can think of at the top of your head. Dun read the below qns before u write, and tag 5 ppl to do this survey.

1. Grace
2. Wei Ning
3. Wen Pu
4. Glenn
5. Tay Yi
6. Dexter
7. Jordan
8. Kok Hong
9. Wen Ying
10. Hui Yang
11. Rachel
12. Huang Zhi
13. Justin
14. Wilson
15. Ben
16. Qing Ping
17. Jin Zhe
18. Ting Jun
19. Dong Wei
20. George

How did you meet 14? (Wilson)
Sec 1 Science Team.

What would you do if you never meet 1? (Grace)
I would be who I've been who is hated by who I am.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? (George and Wen Ying)
Wish them good luck lor...

Did you ever liked 19? (Dong Wei)
I am not gay, we are frens onli.

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? (Dexter and Jin Zhe)
YES!!!

Describe 3 (Wen Pu)
Nerd, Arrogant, Loyal, Eccentric, the list goes on...

Do you think 8 is attractive? (Kok Hong)
Heck, I am NOT gay...

Tell me smth about 7. (Jordan)
Tall... Very tall..

Do you know any of 12's family? (Huang Zhi)
No... Only him.

Whats 8's favourite? (Kok Hong)
Soldat?

What would you do if 11 confesses dat he/she likes you? (Rachel)
I will be dumbstruck for who will ever like me...

What lanquage does 15 speak? (Ben)
English..

Who is 9 going out with? (Wen Ying)
Not sure, was Wei Zhong..

How old is 16 now? (Qing Ping)
I think 15...

When was the last time you talked to 13? (Justin)
Today..

What is 2's fav band/singer? (Wei Ning)
Miyamoto Shunichi

Would you ever date 4? (Glenn)
YEAH MAN!!! In DotA, wad were you thinkin?

Would you date 7? (Jordan)
No, too tall for me...

Is 15 single? (Ben)
I think so, but he got alot gf...

What is 10's last name? (Hui Yang)
Seah.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11? (Rachel)
No. Oh, w8, YES!! Serious FRIENDSHIP.. HAHA!!

What school does 3 go to? (Wen Pu)
Same school as me, BPGHS..

Where does 6 live? (Dexter)
Bangkit.

Whats ur fav thing about no 5? (Tay Yi)
His humour..

Have you seen number 1 naked? (Grace)
Heck, NO!!!

Now tag 5 ppl you want to do this survey.
1) Grace
2) Wei Ning
3) Wen Pu
4) Dexter
5) Kok Hong

"Who I am hates who I've been, but who I am is not much different from who I've been, so who I would be would hate who I am who hates who I've been..." - My twisted logic.

Did you understand the above statement? Of course you do, you are not that stupid, not like ME. Cus I do not get what I have just written and it's twisted. Why am I posting when I shud be studying SS? I dun know, you tell me.. Ok, together now, CUS I AM LAME!!!! haha.... wadeva..

NEways, just wanna post some Did you knows...

Did you know?
1) The old prime meridian was the rose line and its found in paris running through the Saint Sulpice Church? After 1966, the line was officially moved to Greenwich, England.
2) The pentagram is not the sign of the devil but is actually the sign of the sacred feminine. The lines divides themselves into the Divine proportion Phi.
3) Leonardo was once the Grandmaster of the Priory of Sion? It is a secret brotherhood that is said to guard the location of the Holy Grail.
4) Opus Dei is a Vatican prelature, a deeply devout Catholic sect. They practise Corporal mortification. Which is placing a brabed cilice belt around the waste. This cilice belt has sharp edges that dig into the skin causing pain to the wearer. When the wearer is sexually aroused, the muscles tense and the sharp edges dig deeper, causing pain that cancels the effects of lust.

ZzZ.. Nth else to post abt. Oh, felt v sad today cus my bio practical lose 7 marks already. All because of a stupid mistake. In a hurry, I drew the graph in the wrong direction and even though my points are correct, the general shape of the curve is wrong. Haiz.... Okay, I think nth else liao. Probably wun be posting until after exams..

I have decided I am not gonna post updates of my story. I will post the whole thing upon finishing. WP played a vital role in persuading me not to post haha. He wants to be the first to read it. Though I have no idea why. But heck, since he my best friend, I listen to him.

Today musical we did Waltzing again. Cool. Monday also waltzing. I LOVE waltzing, it's so FUN!!! Jordan got so many small actions tt make us laugh. I think Jordan dance so well loh.. Or isit cus the instructor dance v well? Nvm, Jordan like practise so hard, no wonder so good. Grace also dance well. Den today me n glenn decided to learn the female part also. So we took turns being guy and girl. I feel that this way, we know like wad difficulties our partners are having and we can play more of an active role to help out. Right now I got all the moves down, but the ending part the waltz one round one I dunno how to do. I keep thinking I do wrongly. Need someone to help me. N today, Grace n Eugene mus keep holding the waltz pose together, and mus call ppl to pei them. Den so funny cus they call tall girl wif short guy, so... Weird lar, like Nabil and Jia Xuan. HAHA!!! Ok, me ish so evilez, since me ish also short. I think I grew to 162? Donno. I hope to grow to 170. Seems like one far-fetched dream.

MYE is coming soon, I think everyone is bz studying for it. Hope I score well. I also began studying liaoz, but stress ah!! NEways, nid to slp soon, so I stop here bah.

Ok, I promised I would post a story, so here it is, UNCOMPLETED!!! This is merely chapter one and is already 950 words.. Haiz, it is progressing slower than I thought, I had wanted it to be short, but I fear 10,000 words would be a good estimate...

Lucifer had always been shy, and was never one to make himself the centre of attraction. His only circle of friends was limited to a few close ones. He only confided in them and not to anyone else, not even his family. He strode to school alone as usual, for loneliness was one of his closest friends and never seemed to leave him.

“ Hey Lucy! ” one of his friends shouted. Lucifer cringed at the usage of his nickname, his name had supposed to be something magnificent, for it meant Bringer of Light, but people seemed to find a way to put it down.

“ Hey Kahn! What a surprise to meet you here. ” Lucifer replied, happy to see a companion. It was rare for him to meet his friends and he was tired of loneliness accompanying him. The two then walked abreast, chatting up a storm, from choir, to Defence of the Ancients. Minutes passed like seconds and they were at the school gate.

“ Wow, it always seemed like hours before I reach here when I’ m alone, ” Lucifer wondered aloud. “It’s great to have you with me dude, glad you came when you did. Hey, wanna meet up same time same place for the rest of the year?” Lucifer asked.

“Sure, I rather like coming to school early anyway.” Kahn replied, and the twosome strode through the school gates. “It’s so ironical how the school gate is so brightly painted when it is actually the gates of Hell.” Kahn said cheekily. The two then parted ways and went to their respective classes.

Lessons were boring and Lucifer was already dozing off in his chair. It had always been a wonder to him how certain people can keep awake in class when the teacher was so monotonous and uninteresting, merely reading off the PowerPoint slide. Lucifer began wishing for the day to end so he could go for his CCA, which was choir, and is in his friends’ company. They were his only saving grace of coming to school. Otherwise, he would probably have quit school.

The bell of freedom finally rang shrilly, and everyone dashed out of the doors like a flood breaching flood breakers. Lucifer ran up the four flights of stairs to his friends’ class. Together, they trouped down to the canteen, where they had their lunch. Computer games were the common topic among them and they were happily talking about strategies they were going to use in the upcoming tournament. After eating, they packed their bags and made their way to the Music Room, for it is there the Choir practise sessions were held.

They were too early and there was no one there, so they sat down and chatted, taking advantage of the air-conditioning. Lucifer strode over to the piano, planted himself onto the seat, and began playing Canon in D. Kahn stood beside Lucifer and watched his fingers fly across the piano, hitting each key deliberately and correctly, producing a melodious tune. Kahn gave comments on the playing, and corrected some fingering positions. The door opened, and the sunlight poured in, and a girl stepped in. Lucifer never saw the girl enter and was still engrossed in his playing. She walked over to the piano and watched him play, appreciating the music. When he was done, he looked up and was shocked to see a girl staring down at him. He broke out in cold sweat for he was shy and was not used to being the attention of a girl, especially one as pretty as her. He had never seen her before, but he was simply struck by her beauty and wished he had met her earlier. It had been love at first sight and his heart was thumping wildly.

“ You play the piano well. Great song. ” She praised him, smiled, and walked away.

Lucifer flushed, his cheeks turning bright red. His friends began taking pot shots at him, making snide comments and laughing at the colour of his cheek. He rushed back to his seat and sat down.

“ Aww, love at first sight? " Kahn said cheekily.
“ Shut up! ” Lucifer retorted, embarrassed at his reaction to the compliment.
“ Fine, be that way. ” Kahn replied, pretending to be angry at the outburst.
“ Sorry, but it’s just that it’s so infuriating how you guys like to make fun of me. ” Lucifer apologized.

Soon, the Music Room began filling up as more and more people entered. Finally, the conductor was here and his entrance silenced everyone. Although he was a jolly person, when his mood was foul, no one dared to anger him further for fear of his wrath. Warm-up proceeded, and everyone began singing Oos and Las. Then, they got down to business and began practising the songs for performance. Before long, the room was filled with voices of different sections blending seamlessly producing an enchanting choir rendition of Sound of Silence. Time flew past quickly, and choir ended. Everyone got ready to leave, and Lucifer was eager to catch another glimpse of that girl who had so enchanted him. He still did not know her name and he wanted to find out. However, he did not manage to see her and disheartened, he followed his friends. The first day he saw her was gone, and it promised a series of unfortunate events and heartbreaks that was to befall him. However, Lucifer did not know of this, he thought this was good fortune and he was elated to have met her. He may have thought otherwise had he known what was to happen in the near future. For now, he was in a state of bliss of having met an angel.

Ok, under TY's pestering, actually, his comment, I shall... Post....

NEways, even if he did not pester me, I wld still have post, cus... I cannot let the blog be stagnant... NEways, there will be one SUPER long post soon... It's one of my works of cus... A story... But when I can finish it, I do not know. I estimate it to have a word count of 5000.

Hmm.. The idea for this story, came to me, at a weird time and place. It came to me while I was sleeping and on the bed, of course.. And no, there ain't no SEX. Pls lar... I'm not like this... I'm chaste ok! Of course, if this came out of the mouths of say.. Erhem erhem, den obv got PORN.. LOL!! But from me... nonono... XD, besides the point. I now thinking of how to shorten the story, cus I dun want it be longwinded. If not can be 10000 words.. Read until sian.. For the sake of making this post long, I shall add in a poem written by my sis.. For me... Haha, she is such a nice sis!! I wonder why I didn't see it there before...

Unrequited love

It’s so frustratin’
Everytime I see you
You turn away from me
As if I was the flu

It’s so frustratin’
Sitting out back
Only starin’
Afraid you’d fled

It’s so frustratin’
That I’m so close yet so far
Realize I too am a bein’
And I can’t just give you up

Do you see the end of the water
Where I wait so patiently
You are one of the rarer
That make me go so puny

Do you see the end of the water
Where my love waits
Like gold sulphur
Yet you never let it sate

Do you see the end of the water
Where I stand and declare
That you are my girl
And I’m trapped in your snare

Now I just hide in the dark
And wait for you to understand
That this is not a lark
That I’m truly in love

With you.

Well, I bet you all noticed the layout has changed.... And no... I did not do this layout. I just customized it, I did not do any real major change. I dun haf the time to start a layout from scratch, and I conveniently found this cute layout on Blogskin, so I dled it. Ok, tts all, I dun wanna post abt layouts.....

Today principal came to watch our performance up to where we learned, and I was like stressed out, cus I scared make mistake den sarbo ppl. NEways, I realli h8 leaping at Dex, everytime I leap at him I crash my knee on the floor, now got bruise and there got a bulge, cus it swollen. Luckily, this week is a short week, monday tuesday wednesday, den SPORTS day, and den GOOD FRIDAY!!! Haha, so short rite?? NEways, I tried one hand push-up, I did a grand total of......... 2 -.-ll. It's hard man!! Believe you me, its realli HARD!!

I realli want a betta role actually, although I am contented now. I am easily contented. I am wad you call a COWARD. I dun dare to fight for what I want, even if I realli want it. Like example wld be, if I tried to pursue Grace, and I have competition, I think I probably give up... But den again, I might not! I might even go to extremes, but I dun think so lar... Realli lor, everytime my mom say no to sth I dun ask anymore. I am sooooooo COWARDLY!! NEways, I practising everyone's role EXCEPT the female roles of course... Cus... Ok, dis is rather evil, but when we were at Mac today, we were like wondering wad will happen if one of the main cast fell sick on the day the performance is, wad will happen? But I dun believe so zun lar, I think at most is a few days before fall sick. I think, I wanna be... SUBSTITUTE!!! Haha, I probably can memorize their lines, I mean, how hard it is -.-... I can do a monologue from scene 1 all the way to be our guest for most of the characters. The one I know 100% is Belle, Gaston, and Maurice. Beast is like 80%.

It's killing me to know you without having a chance to hold you, and I wanna do is show you how I realli feel inside. You can run to me, or you can laugh at me, or you can walk right out that door... But we can't be just friends... Anymore..

You dun know wad its like, when nothing feels alright, you dun know wad its like to be like me, so stop envying me.... You dun know wad it feels to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked, when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you. No, you dunno wad it's like to be like me. "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me..." I do not even have a shadow... I feel so alone...

New theory patented in the US patent office: "None are born noob, Most achieve noobness, Few have noobness thrust upon them." What this theory meant, was that if you are a noob, its your own doing and no one can pull you out of this mess except yourself.

I am so sick and tired of ppl knowing my password even if I do not tell them, so I think I am going to ENCRYPT IT!! WAHAHHA!! NO MORE PPLE HACKING INTO MY ACCOUNT!! BTW, an example of encryption is: GCARENAWG. I think WP will know how to decode it. But if I set password, it will be sth like above. Seems like random letterings but if you can decode it means sth. In fact, I can even change it to numbers!! The above can be converted to: 731185141237. Or other combinations! HAHA, So... It is gonna be HARD to guess my pass now!! Not that you realli wanna hack my accounts, but I just feel like I shud do this in case some funny person wants to screw my accounts.

Okie, I dun thinx I got anything else to post, oh yeah, Clan LegO beat Clan S1nz last Friday. I felt the match was effortless and absolutely EZ to win. Ah well. Srrry for not posting for a long time XD... Felt too lazy to.

It has been almost a week since I posted, in fact, six days ago, so I decided to pop in one post.

I am currently recovering from an irritating flu. Hate it, so irritating, makes my nose blocked, so I cannot breathe properly, and my voice become veri "nasal". The sore throat phase was on Thursday and Friday, now is the Coughing phase. I dunno which I hate, but I rather not have both. Pon school on Friday, cus I too sick go school, and too sick to even talk. But now, much better, just having a bad case of blocked nose (Dreads Monday when I enter air-con classroom).

Saturday I went to Singapore Poly for a chemistry enrichment course. The most interesting part of it was perfume making. We got to synthesise our own perfume!! I remember I added alot of Cymbidium Blossom and almost nothing else. Afterall, Cymbidium Blossom sells for $2000 per KG. Our lecturer for that day was also the "judge" of the MOE for O levels and A levels test papers. He has to give the "OK" before the test papers can be used. He also sets the syllabus for O and A level. Cool man, and Singapore Poly is one BIG SPRAWLING CAMPUS!!! Their facilities are soooo COOL!! NEways, my class ppl made an interesting discovery. Perfume is the BEST insecticide. Wilson sprayed his perfume aptly dubbed "Pain" onto some ants climbing up this wall. Those in the immediate blast dehydrated and died, leaving their exoskeleton only. Insects are essentially just "armour" outside and fluid inside, and the alcohol in the perfume dehydrates them. Den those that survived, became drunk and fell off the wall. After that, no ants went near that area. Cool. Insecticide that actually smells nice!!

After that nth much, Sunday was boring, now onli left me and my mom at home. My sis stay over at her fren's place. My dad overseas. House soooo lonely... Ah, tmr musical cannot use scripts!! Anywaes, I think I memorized liao. AH! I FORGOT DANCE STEPS! Ah well, maybe I will magically recall.

Double post today.

Nowadays ppl falling sick. Nt sure why, but weirrd. Grace got sore throat today, so when in musical she was v soft. Hope she recovers fast! I also feel that I am getting a flu myself. The symptoms are settling in, blocked nose, sneezing, headache. I hope I dun fall ill. I cannot afford to pon musical training. I think even if I sick I will still turn up. Hope dun spread flu can liaoz.

Today in musical we got to do relaxation exercise. Frankly, the music was the one helping me to relax. It was a realli nice piece of music and I wanna get my hands on it. Lucky the director ask us to stretch our arms, lie down, etc. If not I surely fall asleep standing. Afterall, horses sleep standing! So, if you see me standing staring into empty space, chances are I have fallen asleep standing!! Haha, cool rite?

Today, saw Grace. And she cut her hair. Now her hair is short. From my class ppl, I heard they felt it was a bad move for her to cut her hair. To me, I still find her pretty. She still looks great, and there is nothing wrong with short hair. My sis also keeps short hair. I think after Grace cut the length same as my sis liaoz. But I like girls with pony tails, haha, but I guess... Nevermind. After all, I ain't in love with your hair. Direct quote: "They say time takes its toll on a body, makes your younger and brown hair turn grey. But honey I dun care, I ain't in love with your hair, and if it all fell out, I'd love you anyway."

I think I can guess why ppl falling sick nowadays. The humid weather coupled with the high temperature is lowering our body's immune system. THose who read this, I hope you all take care and dun fall ill. Esp now wif the bird flu thingy, it is better to stay healthy. NEways, who likes being sick? I think fall sick just to skip school is stupid. Stay at home and suffer. WOw, hardly wad I call relaxing. In fact, go school better, at least you catch up wif work, for those who skip school, they haf to rush their work to keep up wif the class. It is give and take.

Oh yeah, Glenn oso becoming a wolfie!! Wootez!!! Welcome to the club dude!! Oh yeah, Im gonna learn to sing "True" and "On the way Down". Nice songs, they are. Of course, I still like True Light. Today during break in musical I was singing "True Light" and "On the way Down". Walked one round, just nice finish both songs, so time taken abt 8 mins. The bad part of being wolfie is the mask. Small, smelly, suffocating, eyes the size of slits, barely even able to see. If they do not make the eye hole larger, on the stage itself Imma fall off the stairs and end up wif a concussion and Dexter wun be Maurice anymore cus I'd be a natural crazy loony guy. Oh yeah, Glenn today sub Eugene as Beast, den he was REALLY FUNNY!! I mean, Beast is supposed to be intimidating, but glenn is otherwise. Smiling, tone wif hints of laughter. Even his rawr is cute. He merely said the word :"Roar." Hardly intimidating. He might as well haf meowed, since he is Kitty!! Why kitty? Cus he likes cats, I think, and his account is LegO.Cat!! MEOW MEOW!! NEways, Me thinx Ive been fooling around in musical too much, me gonna get serious!! Den try to influence WP to stop being so joker also. However, we may need a livewire, as having one joker is kinda good too, helps everyone loosen up by laughing at his antics. And WP realli have alot of funny antics up his sleeves.

Ok, I just released one very loud sneeze, I think I'd better stop here, wash face, drink milk, go sleep liaoz.

---Sign off---

K, realli have nothing to post. But Here I am, sitting in front of my comp, with the sian diao look and my hands magically moving across my keyboard typing out whatever you are reading when my brain is totally blank. I realli have no idea why I even want to post. Guess I have xtra time be4 sleeping and just wanted to update my blog. But update about wad? My weekend is so boring. I almost MISSED school.

I just finished reading yet another of Dan Brown's novels, Deception Point. Like the rest, the plot is intriguing, fiction deftly woven with non-fiction. It kept me flipping the pages. In addition, the plot keeps twisting and turning, but this time, I guessed correctly who was the overall mastermind!

Today is my sister's birthday, so I would just like to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NING NING!!! Went to BP Swenson to eat dinner, den eat bday cake! Ice cream cake!! Den went shopping for her present. I buying mine to her from Lot 1. Need 2 go shopping tmr after musical. Who wanna go wif me???? Hope someone goes wif me, guy or girl both can. Shopping myself v sian one. Girl cld be better, den can gif me hints on wad to buy. Actually, my sis narrowed down the search liao, anything to do wif BBall or Mangas.

Ok, nth else to post, and dun wanna crap anymore, so stop here..... Chao.....

Is it a sin to love you? Somehow I feel so, it's just that how can someone as imperfect as me love you? It's like I am trying to break into the upper caste.

Ytd Meet The Parents Session. My mom came to talk to Rozi, but that part nth much lar. Ytd my mom saw Grace for the first time. Lol. Den I didnt know she saw her, until dinner time when eating my mom suddenly say the girl I talk abt isit Grace Wong. Den I like huh? Wong? I dunno a Grace Wong, but my cousin is Bernice Wong. LOL!! Den I say nope, den I said is Grace Wang. Den my mom say she cldnt see tag clearly, just rmb seeing Grace W*ng. So she guessed Wong. Diao. But shud be correct lar, since she said Grace was wif 3 other girls. Which ytd when I saw was correct. The conversation was sth like that.

Mom: You know that girl you tell me abt?
Me: Ya?
Mom: I saw her today, her name is Grace Wong isit?
Me: err... No.
Mom: Maybe I saw wrong..
Me: Her name is Grace Wang
Mom: Oh, I saw Grace W*ng, cannot see clearly, but was she with 3 other girls?
Me: Should be, one was Rachel, the other I dunno, and the last one was RuYi.
Mom: I think she looks like those decent girls, but she isnt veri pretty.
Me: Oh........ (I dun realli get my mom's taste)
Dad: Are you interested in her???
Me: No...... (This is of course a blatant lie)
Mom: Why are you so eager to find out if ur son likes someone?
Dad: Oh no, my son dun like girls...
Me: Yeah, I like guys.

I feel that Grace is the prettiest girl I have ever saw, and the most talented one too.

Been feeling depressed these few days. I dunno for wad. Results? Maybe. I just dunno wad to do with my life anymore. Musical is very interesting, I felt I had alot of fun there. But, I wish I got a major role, like Maurice. I think, I am at a disadvantage cus I never had the courage or boldness to step forward and challenge for a role. Even if I had a high chance to win. I think I am too passive, I'd rather everyone got along and I dun wanna cause disputes. In fact, unless the director make me try out for the role, it is highly unlikely I wld volunteer for any role. Haiz, I think I am either a coward or indecisive. I kind of think I am a coward. I dare not do alot of things. Budden, when I went for tryouts, I wanted to try for Maurice the role, but the director never gave me a chance. After Glenn tried he immediately picked Glenn. Haiz.. Gaston's role I obviously cannot, I am neither tall, dark, nor handsome. Haiz. Beast? Nonono, I dun haf that height, nor the raspy voice. I dun even think I have the strength. Glenn lost the Maurice role to Dexter. And I feel that it is rather unfair for Glenn, he shud be given a chance to improve. In fact, today I can see that Glenn already putting in effort to improve. He even stop smiling! He also added feelings into his act. I feel v sorry for Glenn, prepare so much then lose the role. Haiz. Life is so unfair. I shud be more like Dexter, bold, daring, dare to ASK for sth. The problem wif me, even in other situations, is I dare not ask for things, even if I have the right to. Like, when I wanna swap items in the NTUC, I dun dare to walk to the cashier to demand an item switch because the one I got is "faulty". I dun dare to ask for refunds, ask for directions, ask for something, ask for ANYTHING! I dunno WHY??!! But I realli need 2 start being bolder, or else alot of opportunities gonna pass me by. Now, I already regretted when I first auditioned for the musical I wasn't aggressive enuff. I was so passive, I basically relied on the director putting me to roles. Haiz. I shud have fought for the roles.

The other time I posted abt a dream, ytd had the same dream again. Not exactly the same, just the "theme" is more or less the same. Hope it realli meant that the dream gonna come true. Dunno though.

Autumn arrives and the flower in my heart withers.....

Dunno why I posted the above line, just felt it was realli nice. I invented it :D. I think I gonna put it as my MSN nick sometime soon.

9 12-15-22-5 7-18-1-3-5

In my sEA of REd
ThERE liEs onli onE
OthERs cAn't suRvivE
SAvE my CrystAllinE DRaGon

Dragons
Green Dragon, Red Dragon, Azure Dragon, Crystal Dragon, Ebony Dragon
Reigning as the ultimatum in mythology
An aura of assurance emits from them
Channeling courage into people on its side
Erasing fear from their hearts
Inspirational
Lifting any doubts in people
Overcasting the skies of enemies
Volleying flames into their ranks
Effectively destroying thy foes

Dragons are indeed inspirational for me. My fav, numero uno, mythical beast. To me, the dragon is a symbol of undying power, unwavering courage, of not giving up for wad I stand for.

Last day of my holiday and I am here typing this... For some reason, the hols seemed to pass very fast. It felt like ytd that was the closing day of school. And now, suddenly, I am faced with the prospect of going back to school. I feel a mixed feeling of apprehension yet excitement. I feel like exciting things await me in the next term, and I wanna know what is it. Apprehension because I do not realli wanna jump back into curriculum with all the hectic schedule. Not that I had a relaxing holiday. Really, why do they call it holiday when the school still pile you with homework? That is not my idea of a holiday. Holiday shud be the abstinence of work. Let me recount what happened to me in the hols. Very brief.

Friday: Nth much, just sat at home and DotAed the whole day.
Saturday: Again nth much, same old thing, played comp.
Sunday: Still nth much, played comp.
Monday: GO back to school in morn, den go Glenn house. Afternoon came out again to go musical.
Tuesday: Realli cannot rmb wad happened today, veri hazy. BUt I dun think anything big happen. Oh, WP came my house to play.
Wednesday: Started on my homework today I think. Afternoon went Dex house lame around, den cycle to Glenn house, stay there for awhile den go home.
Thursday: Morning went Glenn house, den play there and afternoon cycled to school for musical.
Friday: Go Glenn house in morning again. Did A maths until afternoon den played.
Saturday: Today was ONE TIRING DAY. Tuition in afternoon, 2 hr break piano lesson1 hr, by now headache, den went out watch movie wif Glenn and his bro. Shaggy Dog. Got one scene in that movie remind me of the Beauty and the Beast play. Cus the villain in that story is running genetic tests on animals producing funny results, and this teacher saw it and burned down the whole lab, so he got persecuted. Then the teacher was describing the sights "A monkey that was barking! Mice that Bark! A snake wif a dog tail!" And the jury was laughing and laughing, like when Maurice ran into the bar shouting abt a Beast and everyone mocks him.
Sunday: Do the rest of my homework, otherwise, boring.

Haiz, see how fast my hols flew by? I do not even feel I had any rest. At least tmr wld be a short day for me, as after recess I going Science Centre dunno for wad. Mrs Joseph bring us there. Actually I had more to post, just that I forgot everything. Everytime I sit down want to type up a post den I forget everything. Haiz.. I think I go read Da Vinci Code now.

~~in no particular order.. list down
3 ppl you talk to online
4 ppl u see at school
2 teachers
3 ppl u love going out with
3 ppl in ur sms box

1) Grace
2) Wei Ning
3) Tay Yi
4) Glenn
5) Wen Pu
6) Dexter
7) Ting Jun
8) VLee
9) Chiam
10) Jordan
11) Hui Yang
12) Kenneth
13) Jin Zhe
14) Ming Xian
15) Wei jie

So what do you think abt no. 4? [Glenn]Funny!!

How nice is no. 6? [Dexter]Nice guy, just veri temperamental.

On a scale of 1-10, how good looking number is no.5 ?[Wen Pu]7..

Will you ever fall for no.11? [Hui Yang]No, she looks ok, but no.

Honestly, if no.8 met with an accident, what will you do?[VLee]Hehe, no more A maths, and I gonna be v sad cus I might then fail A maths. He is a goood teacher.

How much do you lyk no. 2?[Wei Ning]Alot, she is my only sister.

Will 7 & 13 make a gd couple ?[Ting Jun and Jin Zhe]No, unless they are gays.

Would 14 kill you one day?[Ming Xian]No

Who do you lyk most ? 3 or 10?[Tay Yi and Jordan]Tay Yi lar, I know him longer.

Get 3 ppl with blogs to do this thing?
1) Grace
2) Glenn
3) Dexter

Today was an eventful day. This morning went to Glenn house in the wee hours. Ok, not realli "wee", it was 9. Go there sit around, watch glenn play DotA. One REALLI long game, that bored me half to death. Den nothing better to do, I whisper to his opponents and spam them, distracting them. LOL!! After taht, played alot of CS, den a few games of DotA. Den Glenn mysteriously say, lets go eat lunch. And it was 12 48. But after eating it was 1 15, den when I told him, he said "CRAP!! I Thought it was 2...." LOL!! Den we decided go school early. We cycled to school together. Oh, I forgot, WP wif us also. Den we happily, slowly, cycle to school. Reach school saw Jordan, Kok Hong, Theresa, and Hui Yang. They were at Bball court playing, wad else, Bball. den they were staring at us like "WTH?" Then they laughed and Jordan say Idiot Idiot Idiot. LAME!! after that lamed around, den realised it was too early, so went to Lot 1 sweet talk to buy drinks. Drank, den cycled back to school. By that time, its 2 30. STill too early, but went into I studio practise my pushing of Glenn. Want to get the correct strength so Glenn got ez time falling. But also must not hurt him. Last mon I pushed him den he flew forward and all the others gasped. They thought Glenn was hurt and I became like a bad guy. Actually, I was shocked myself. I did not really put in much force, I think Glenn was preparing to fall off, maybe. Not sure. But the way ppl looked at me... I felt uncomfortable. Den I apologized to Glenn ,den Glenn say no need, cus not pain, and he asked me to use that amt of strength. Cus it helps him fall off ezier. But everytime I push glenn off and he flies, everyone gasp again. Make me feel like an evil freak. NO no no, glenn was the one who asked me to use more strength. After practising, G and the other director came and we were learning a new scene, Gaston's Proposal and Gaston's plan. Or sth like that. Cool, I got another role, as part of the ppl in the bar. LOL!!! Den it was fun, cus we got to sing, and I also get to drag Glenn out. COol!! Dunno la, but I pity glenn, keep getting pulled and pushed around. Let me name a few.

#1: Chased by wolves scene, gets pushed off the chair.
#2: Beast castle scene, falls down when gates are opened.
#3: Beast interrogating Maurice scene, gets dragged off-stage.
#4: Belle sacrifices herself to be captive scene, gets dragged off-stage again.
#5: Gaston's plan scene, gets dragged away again.
#6: D'Arque comes to claim Maurice scene, gets dragged away again.

LOL! See how mani times Glenn gets pushed and pulled around? Sad man. Today, for the first time, I wore the lycan mask. It feels... Odd. the eyes are slits, that might as well not be there, for I cldnt see a thing. I blindly walked. And wads more, it was suffocating me. I onli put it on for wad, 5 mins? And I was sweating like mad and suffocating too. I was practically breathing in CO2. I like Grace's voice. She sings veri well. Haiz.. I wish I volunteered for Maurice the role. Den again, if I got it, I doubt Glenn wld be gg musical. SO I guess wadeva happens its Fate and its for the best. Yeah, look to love and you will see. HAHS, nvm... Oh yeah, that dream on Friday, a short snippet of it came through today. Insignificant lar... But still... K, crap generator malfunctioning... Sign off here...

Last night had this weird but nice dream. It is NOT wet dream, pls dun think that it is.... NEways, I shall not say the details, but it felt veri realistic. And when I woke up, I actually thought it happened and I was elated. Budden I suddenly realised I was in my room and I had been dreaming. Why cant I just continue dreaming.... Oh yeah, disclaimer, this dream is NOTHING to do with sex or anything dirty. So DUN think dirty. AFter I woke up I was so disappointed. And I also got angry, I felt as though someone was playing a trick on me. But I consoled myself by thinking some of my dreams do come true. Cus I sometimes have "premonitions" in my dreams, and they are normally realistic feeling. And after that dream, a few wks or mths later, it happens, exactly as the dream depicted it. It has happened a number of times already. Oh, this dreams also come with audio. When the "characters" inside speak, I can actually hear them, that adds to the realism. Haha, I m speaking as though it is a game. It isnt. And I wish that that dream was true. Sad... Haiz... Been a long time since I dreamt. Is this a sign? That sth good gonna happen? Or is someone playing me again, giving me hope and then brings it crashing down.

I just read Kah Ho's blog, and it made me think alot. I felt rather ashamed at myself. I mean, Kah Ho has already started planning for his Hols, and he intends to study the whole hols! He is so concerned of his studies, me leh, slacker... I read his plans and I feel like he is rly hardworking. He onli allocated 10 hrs to relax out of the 9 x 24 hrs. Rly sth if he can follow through with his plan. Seeing this has inspired me to pull up my socks, but then again, I am veri lazy. LOL!!

Today supposed to help WP do CME project in Glenn house, but Glenn decided to go Dex house, so end up we cannot do at his house, then Dex also dun allow WP to do at his house. Wah, make me cycle to Glenn house for nth. Nvm, at least train muscles. Budden, the time clda been better spent sleeping, since Wednesday is supposed to be for me to slack out of the whole week. Why? Monday got musical, reach home almost 7 liao, no time rest. Tuesday got Bethany Home, reach home 6+, rest 1 hr onli. Thursday, musical again, reach home 7 also. Friday got Peng remedial, reach home abt 3+, but Friday considered weekend liao. Luckily this week last week of school. Since I cld not do CME at Glenn house, I decided to cycle to Dex house wif Glenn. Then Glenn was showing off that he can cycle without hands. Reach Dex house we parked our bikes go gym workout. I tried pull up and managed 3, did not actually continue. I have resolved to train my pull up in the holiday, I aim to do 7. I believe I can do it! Shinjiru! I still keep accidentally swearing, and I do not understand why. Maybe I am just too used to? But I realli realli wanna stop using curse words. But I believe, with determination, I can remove them from my dictionary. 2 days ago I was talking to my mom, then I asked her if I am rude. She said I am not, but from my voice, pple will think I am rude, cus I always speak in a monotone and like veri bored wif that person like that. I also wanna change that. However, this problem onli surface when I chat wif girls, so I think I shud stop being so act cool and speak PROPERLY. I think it is STUPID for me to speak until like that, or maybe cus I am shy?

Watched this Korean drama ytd. The main character said sth veri meaningful. However, it was used in the context of golf, but can be applied to real life. Bad players question the club, good players question their skills. In this sense, we shud be questioning what have we done wrong, and not blame others when sth goes wrong. This is esp evident in ROZI. But what the heck, life wld be better if I do not try to reform others. He also said sth else profound. Good players watch for the target, bad players watch for the hazards. This can be interpreted as successful people FOCUS on their targets and not waiver from it, whereas common people watch out for the DANGERS, and when DANGERS exist, they tend aim to NOT hit the danger and end up they do not hit the target too. I hope you get my drift. Or the guy's drift. Whatever.

I think, from this day onwards, in whatever I do, I shall give my all. That way I will not leave room for regrets, for thoughts like "ARRGH I SHUD HAVE STUDIED HARDER" or "ARRGH I SHUD HAVE VOLUNTEERED FOR THAT ROLE" or "ARRGH, I SHUD HAVE TAKEN THAT OPPORTUNITY.." Life is full of regrets, but we shud try and minimise them. When you do have a regret, no use crying over spilled milk, no amount of tears can turn back the hands of time. Instead, make sure u do NOT lose such opportunities and dun give this sneaky evil a chance to backstab you. Actually, I have no idea who reads my blog, except I am pretty sure MX reads it. Hmm, ppl who read can tag? Well, I treat my posting like EW. Helps me improve my writing skills. The more used I am to write, the faster I can write, although I can write fast enough. Mrs Hoe was talking to us abt this girl in the O's who wrote 1000 words in the essay and scored A1. So everyone in my class, naturally, was awed. What awed me, was not the fact that that girl wrote 1000 words, but the fact she scored A1. In fact, 1000 words.. I've been writing that amount for exams. This year diagnostic test I wrote 1000+. Last year End-of-Year I also wrote 1000+. So did I 2 years ago during Sec 2. I wrote an essay 1000+, but end up I scrapped it and wrote my essay in 15 mins to hand in. It was EOY. Haha, Glenn saw me rushing through it. So, speed and word count does not make me WOW over an essay. It is the grade.

Was reading this chinese essay, it was talking abt human right to know sth and the right not to know sth. How mani times have a movie been spoiled just because someone who watched it before starts to comment and tell you what is going to happen? I bet everyone will have such an experience. At least everyone who watches movies before. So what the author is trying to express is sometimes, it is better for us not to know things in advance. Then the author gave an example, what if someone knows his whole life from start to end. When he is going to die, his life story, the ups and downs. That person probably will not work hard for if he is doomed to die young, he surely do not see the point in working hard, whats more, the thought will plague him and he will constantly worry of his death. When the pandora's box opened, 7 evils emerged, I shall not name them, however, the last evil, premonition, did not escape. Luckily so, for when everyone knows the future, there will definitely be chaos. Life wld lose its meaning and excitement, the thrill you get when you do not know what is going to happen nxt, each step illuminates the nxt. Life is meant to be like this. Anywaes, I believe life is just a stepping stone to Heaven. We shud be more concerned of long-term happiness in Heaven. Of course, it does not pay to screw up life too. Life is precious, so treasure it. I have already wasted so many years of my life... Looking back, w8, I do not have regrets. I do not regret slacking in P6 and end up in this school. I do not regret not studying hard and go into ACSI. I do not regret joining choir. For if I had not came into this school, had I not joined choir, I wld definitely not have met Grace. Even if never meant to be, there is at least a known before. That I have met someone so talented. That our paths crossed. Even if it was once. Even if it only brought me misery subsequently. I do not regret doing what I have done. I guess when you do not regret, you would be much happier. Life is meant to be happy. Live it. Enjoy it.Treasure it. Do not wait until your death bed then you regret not treasuring your life, not living it to the fullest. Sure, work is impt, but play is what we are meant to do. After all, work was invented by humans. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve did not work. My advice is enjoy this life that God has entrusted you with. Do things that you like. There are commitments too, but try to enjoy doing them. Example, if you realli do not want to study today, then Don't. It is not going to do you good if you keep trying to mug it. It just makes you miserable n is totally inefficient.

Oh no.. I am so.. talkative? Typative? Boring? Haiz, crap too much. I hope you have gain some insight in life, this are just my 1/2 a cent worth of opinion and views. Why half a cent? CUs it is not worth 2 cents. LOL!!! K lar, pls tag if you do read my blog, and do share your views, even if you do not agree with me. Remember, great minds discuss ideas!

Dotx, became an extra, but what the heck. I got a lycanthrope role. Lol..

Last week I was watching Campus Superstar, and actually, I find that Grace sings better than those contestants. Felt the quality was not there so I ended up going to do A maths, which speaks alot.. NEways, I think my toe has infection already. My nail grew inside the flesh and I cannot walk properly. Today was better than ytd. Ytd after I got home cannot move, if not v pain.

New resolution for me is dun use swear words. However, they unintentionally come out. Haiz, I need to work harder on it. Ytd waited for my mom in Lot 1 until 8. I went Popular and read a book on horoscope. Basically looked at mine lar, Horsey!! The drawing on the front was soooo cute. IT says I am impetuous, does things based on feeling and not logic. Which can also be seen as impulsive. I also looked at the snake one, it says does things based on logic not feeling. Lol.. Den my horoscope also says I shud be myself. Yeah, gonna be myself! But who am I? Haiz... After that went Mac to do my homework, since I dunno how long my mom gonna take, so dun waste time.

Peng gave us a chinese compo, mus use sth to represent sth else, like Willow trees to represent longlasting friendship. I was thinking abt it, I initially wanted to copy the story in the handbook, the one abt butterfly struggling to escape, is like success, struggle a little, den fly. However, figured that Peng wld probably recognize it, so I decided to compare butterfly to dreams. Dreams, like butterflies, are beautiful, but fragile. Many dreams are broken, you have to protect them carefully. Defend them from the wind. After all, dreams are easily erased by the wind, just as how a gust wld destroy a butterfly.

Okie, another post, and I am still pondering if I shud follow TY and Dex and rate the ppl in the clan.

Friday was career fair. I was looking forward to it actually, but for no reason. That day me n WP went to nearby coffeeshop to eat lunch since we dun wanna eat school food. Den while eating WP was preaching to me abt the Bible, the last chapter, Revelations. Until now I still spooked by it.. After that WP was like talking to me abt the difference between infatuation and love. I was confused so he gave me an analogy. You know how when you want sth you will go the the ends of the earth to get it, but when you get it you dun want it anymore? Same thing. Infatuation is if you dun want that thing (in this case a human) after you get it, but love is different, you will treasure it more when you get it. So he asked me if I am infatuated with Grace or realli love her. So using the analogy, I pondered over it. For me, when I haf to fight realli hard to get sth I want, I will treasure it, but when I gain sth easily, I tend to neglect it after I get it. So, I feel that myself, if I gain sth, I probably will neglect it, but this is with items, not humans. With humans, I cannot give a solid answer. So I spent some time thinking abt what WP asked, and my answer was I THINK I will treasure her more. But I do not know for sure, it is just like a hypothesis. I do not think I will neglect her if she agrees, not that I think she will. But we brushed it aside, cus it is too theoretical, no concrete evidence.

Career fair was funny to me. Cus I wasn't looking at the unis, save for NTU. My whole time was spent finding ppl. First, find WP. I found him pretty fast, Fate! The nxt person I saw was Grace, but at that time we were finding Glenn, cus I met Ben while on escalator, den he was like "why go everywhere meet you?" Fate lar... We thot Glenn went FIFA exhibition, so went dwnstairs, den kena scolding from Tiger, he thot we run home. LOL!!! After xplaining we went back into the career fair. Then, WE SAW GLENN!! And Glenn was wif Ben liao, den they were finding Grace. Cus Ben wanna c how Grace look like. Serfee and Joanna asked me who Ben was, den I told them his name, but I think tell name also no use. Haha, maybe they interested in him? After that walk for like 20 mins, den saw Michele Cheow, den Ben was dragging WP to her, and WP was fighting to get away. LOL!!! That day WP and Ben keep gaying together.. Weirddd... After that do more walking, den met Tiger!! Den Tiger was chatting wif Ben while we just watched... After that, suddenly, Grace and her grp of frens were walking towards our direction! Hmm, when not finding den find someone, haha... That is wad I learnt that day. When ur looking for someone, you will haf a hard time finding, when you do not have the intention of finding someone, you will end up meeting that person. Den WP suddenly run up to Grace den ask her turn arnd den say he got fren wanna meet her, den at that time Ben was trying to push me to her. If he actually used force I surely stumble over liao.. I hope she did not get a shock.. But I think she thought Ben was bad influence, since he looks punkish. After that didnt do much, cept me n WP went Bras Basah to look at guitars.

Saturday newspaper collection. No elaboration, except my class was like 30 mins collect papers and 1 hr play at playgrnd. LOL!! Oso, while walking back to school, Rozi did not notice that half the class was missing!! Wow, wad a good chaperone.. Nth much happened on Sat. Sunday was WORSE!! Sunday equate to A maths day.. I was chionging my A maths papers. VLee gave 4!! Do until sooooo sian... Now I can finally relax, lol...

OK, I just decided, I am going to rate clan members. If you find it offensive, den too bad, you chose to read it. But dun worri, I will not use swear words, since my new resolution is to stop using swear words.

Clan LegO:
WP: My best friend and best clan mate. Dunno wad to do without him. School would probably be VERY boring without him. Preaches to me too, so I am very thankful. I hope I can be a good friend to him too. I mean, I hope I am.

Glenn: Used to feel he is my good friend, but recently, I dun feel so. He is like growing distant and if he does not treasure me as a friend, no sense in me keeping him as one. Right now I just play DotA with him and talk to him in the musical. Other than that I dun interact with him anymore.

Dexter: Thought he was my friend, but always seem to ignore me or give cold replies when I talk to him. EVEN when I am not saying sth stupid or senseless. However, he is a very loyal friend.

TY: Dun rly like him, I think he has a lousy attitude. However, like Dexter, I respect his non-backstabbing attitude. He is smart but not using his intellect well, so also no use. Also thinks his badminton skill very good and music is easy to learn. His dreams will come crashing down when he starts taking up music again. LOL.

TJ: Overall a great guy except for his nonsense. Nth much to comment cus he is abit distant from us.

Jin Zhe: I respect this guy alot. I like his matured way of thinking, and his tolerance of jokes targetted at him. Came to realise he is REALLI FUNNY!! Glad to know him and haf him as a friend.

WZ: I absolutely DO NOT like this guy. He is like a WAY detestable version of TY. Ya, he does not backstab, but his attitude is alot WORSE than TY.

GX: No comments, I dunno him.

George: I feel he is better than Glenn, at least he treats me better. Not so cold towards me. Oh, George is Glenn's brother. Den again, when you keep seeing someone, you tend to neglect that person, while if you see that person less, maybe you will treat him better. He is also very funny.

Ben: Punkish guy that sports long hair dyed brown. Haha, that hair is going to go after he goes to the army!! Heard he is very rich, he treat us to mac on Friday. Very soloist when playing DotA. Also a very funny guy. His manner of carrying himself may make others who do not know him think he is a bad influence, but after you know him, he is not that bad.

Choon How: Saw him once onli, very quiet. So not much to comment.

Ok, thats the end. If you feel insulted, it is not meant to insult you. But it is just what I feel. At the end of the day, you can choose not to remember wad I just typed and you can think it is all nonsense. The choice is yours.

"Sick and tired of this world, there's no more air.."- Ryan Cabrera
"Going nowhere, waiting, suffocating, no direction.."- Ryan Cabrera
"You're all I wanted, you're all I needed.."- Ryan Cabrera
"Deep inside the corner of my mind, I'm attached to you.."
"I'm weak, it's true, cus I'm afraid to know the answer.."
"Cus my heart keeps falling faster.."- Ryan Cabrera
"I've waited all my life.."- Ryan Cabrera
"It's time to try anything to be with you.."- Ryan Cabrera
"All my life I've waited.."- Ryan Cabrera
"I'm scared to know the ending.."- Ryan Cabrera
"I know when I go, I'll be on my way to you, the way that is true.."- Ryan Cabrera
"Every little piece of the puzzle doesn't always fit.."- Sara Evans
"You may wonder how I can promise you now this love I feel for you always will be.."- Randy Travis
"You are not just time I am killing.."- Randy Travis
"As sure as I live, this love that I give, is gonna be yours until the day that I die.."- Randy Travis
"I'm gonna love you forever and ever, forever and ever amen.."- Randy Travis
"They say time takes its toll on a body, makes your younger and brown hair turn grey, but honey I dun care, I ain't in love with your hair.."- Randy Travis
"They say time plays tricks on memory, make pple forget things that they knew, its ez to see its happening to me, I've already forgotten every woman but you.."- Randy Travis
"It's hard to see the pain behind the mask.."- Martina Mcbride
"Bearing the burden of a violent storm.."- Martina Mcbride
"Through the wind, and the rain, she stands high as a stone.."- Martina Mcbride
"In a world that she can't rise above.."- Martina Mcbride
"But her dreams, give her wings, and she flies to a place where she's loved.."- Martina Mcbride
"Her name is written on a polished rock, a broken heart that the world forgot.."- Martina Mcbride
"I guess its not what you take when you leave this world behind you, its what you leave behind you when you go.."- Randy Travis
".. Taking off your makeup, wonder even why you even put it on.."- Rascal Flatts
"But baby you don't need it.."- Rascal Flatts
"Wish that you could see what I see when it's gone.."- Rascal Flatts
"But I can't help, falling in love with you.."- Elvis Presley
"Would it be a sin, if I can't help, falling in love with you.."- Elvis Presley
"Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help, falling in love with you.."- Elvis Presley
"You know I'd walk a thousand miles if I can just see you tonight.."- Vanessa Carlton
"But I got lost a time two, wiped my brow kept pushing through, I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.."- Rascal Flatts
"Every long lost dream led me to where you are.."- Rascal Flatts
"Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars.."- Rascal Flatts
"Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.."- Rascal Flatts
"God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.."- Rascal Flatts

Lolz, just some quotes from songs that I realli like. Most are pretty meaningful.. Can even use in compo! Or poems, or wadeva.. Or just for appreciating... These songs can be found on Windows Media Player Media Guide, just type in the title in the search box.

Recommended songs:
On The Way Down- Ryan Cabrera
True- Ryan Cabrera
Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
Just the Girl- The Click Five
Perfect- Sara Evans
Three Wooden Crosses- Randy Travis
Forever and Ever Amen- Randy Travis
Fast Cars and Freedom- Rascal Flatts
Bless the Broken Road- Rascal Flatts

Every time I look at you, it is your silhouette that I see. And that silhouette diminishes, and then vanishes from my sight, leaving me at a loss, with grief in my heart. Every time you walk into the room, I dare not look. It is always your back that I see....

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move
till you finally see
that you belong with me
you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
you don't know what you do
every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you meant me!
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

Shut myself from this world, be apart from it... I feel so tired... Today go Bethany Home again, to do CIP. Pushed the old folks to Lot 1 den walk walk shop shop. Nth much actually, but just some funny things happen. I didn't know Jin Zhe so gay!! Haha, Ong also!! Keep cracking jokes.. Den come home, sleeeeepy like mad. I feel like laying down to slp, but tmr got geog test, zzz... Actually, nth else to post, my life is boring...

What is not meant to be will never be. Fate playing games with me again. Gonna write a message in code.

19.20.15.16...2.18.5.1.11.9.14.7...13.25...8.5.1.18.20

If you really wanna know den have fun figuring it out. It's an IP add!!

Not that I did not expected it, but ya, was kinda disappointed, but there is nothing I can do, and I dun intend to fight for it. I can't. And I won't. Hope he have fun. No sarcasm. Then, my heart got hurt again today. Rly, stop destroying my soul. Was quite ok until WP had to tell me sth else. But, I guess knowledge is still better, not that I did not expect it.

Heartbroken
Like glass my heart broke
But you had to step on the pieces
Fragmenting it further
Now there is no repair
You are still treading on them
Ever compounding them
Once broken, things can never be whole
Just as how my heart is now.

This is just a reminder: I VOW NEVER TO LOVE ANOTHER GIRL, NOT UNTIL I DIE.

I cannot stand another heartbreak, like you know how when things are broken you have to be extra careful with it, further subjecting it to torture will ruin it further into eternity? Such is the case of my heart. I shall store it in a cold hard metallic box and seal it away. It will NEVER see the outside world again. It will NEVER be subjected to such torture again. It will remain safe and secure.

~Fuunin No Jutsu~

Destroyed
The expression on your face
Says a thousand words
Your actions and movements
Destroys me faster than Nuclear
You wrecked my soul
Torn it asunder
Spreading it to the great nether
So now its lost and cold
I will never again behold
The beauty of living
But instead I learn
The bane of living
Death seems better
Living is bitter
Existing is my state now
Like any inanimate object
I am merely existing

Cannot think of a title, so I decided not to put a title. Been 5 days since I last posted. I keep putting things off, so irresponsible. At least this would be a summary of wad happened in the past 5 days plus my thoughts.

Basically, nothing happened. This I mean over the weekend. The weekend was boring as usual. But I played a new game called Card Shuffle, which is like Yu Gi Oh, where you summon monsters from cards and attk your opponent. Each opponent have life points. Start of the game u can pick your deck. My personal fav is hybrid of fire and light. SO imbal. Get two token of heaven and 2 fireball and ur enemy is toast. Then there is this REALLI irritating card that prolongs the game until it becomes boring called Armeggadon. It's effect? Destroy ALL monsters on the field. That is like restart the game all over again. And its in the omega deck, which I picked sometimes. Den I prolonged the game for 30 mins? Everytime enemy flood us wif monsters I activate it. Lol.

Since I landed the "Prince" role in the musical, no one have said anything encouraging to me, except TJ. So... Thanks alot TJ!! Wanna know wad he said? He said treat this as a chance, since I get to dance with Grace and sing the "Beauty and the Beast" theme song with her. So he said that take this as a chance to get to know her better and maybe she will know me better. Example, find out I am actually NOT a good dancer and I am absolutely LAZY. LOL!!! Then again, Jordan haven't go audition, so dunno if I will get to keep the role. If I dun, oh well. Some things are just not meant to be. Then it rly seems as though Fate is once again toying with me.

Monday have musical training, but since I am not involved yet, I did not do anything but watch them trying to act out Act 1 Scene 1. It was comical when they made mistakes. And the director also added sarcastic remarks at their mistakes. Den cus I have nth to do, I finished my work in the place and den reached home nth to do. Almost, but my mom helped me borrow the "Beauty and the Beast" movie for me to watch. So I took it and watch. It is sooooo nice, and touching. I feel like buying it liao. But... What will ppl say when a 16 yr old boy walks into a Video store buying a Faerietale movie? Inference #1: I am KIDDISH. Inference #2: I am desperate. Inference #3: I just got dumped. Lol, I definitely do not want ppl to infer these 3, the one I want ppl to infer is "Hey, the movie is so nice that it can make a teenager buy it!"

Today is Tuesday, and frankly, today was kinda sucky. Why? VLee stormed into class dumped 2 Fuhua pass yr papers for us to do, plus test corrections. OMG. I just finished my Fuhua paper. He said finish one by tomorrow, the other by the following day. Nvm la, treat it as practise, speed practise! Den later I had to go Bethany Old Folks Home as I volunteered to be a helper, and... Grace was in my group!!! Today was more of orientation. We had to learn how to wash our hands properly, so we wun haf germs on our hands. Lol, so troublesome. Den later is the fun part, we get to play wif wheelchairs!! WHEEE!!! Each person take turn to sit and push. I prefer the sitting. DUh, who dun. But I dun like the wheelchair becus when you hit a bump, the whole thing vibrate, make ur butt pain. Den later we had to interact wif the old folks. This was the WORST part, why? Cus I dun speak a SINGLE dialect. How to interact..... Somemore onli a handful speak chinese. So hard to interact. Den when my fren ask qns, the person keeps misintepreting the qn and answer sth else, much to our -.-. Lol, it was pretty comical, cus the ENTIRE group dunno dialect. WAHHA, so when the person ask wad dialect u speak? All of us stare at him wif the kind of look that suggests "Huh, dialect?" NEways, it was a rather unique experience for me and I have to return for 9 more wks. Ooooookayyy.... NTh else to post... Oh, one last thing, another girl praise me!!!! Dun say whooo... Woots, me feel so happi nowz.... Lol, conceited I am... ^.^

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it...

I dun know. Shud I keep the role? Is it for the best? Anyway, I believe Jordan will get it. Good luck to him. Like this Grace happy, can liao. And he is 188, so... Closer to Eugene's height of 184. Me leh, 160. So short. I want to grow taller, but no hope, my parents both short. So I inherit short genes. In fact, I second tallest in my family. My sis is 162. No hope. My puberty is over.

Why did God create me only to destroy me... It's so cruel...

Am I a joker? Everyone treats me as one. Ok, so I am. I may seem I do not care. Well. I don't. In school. I only start caring when I reach home. So dun think wadeva bad comments there are abt me I dun care. I just seem to. I think I am pretty much transparent. Pple just laugh at my jokes. Other than that I dun think I exist at all. My birthday... No one remembers it, my immediate relatives onli. My frens, most do not rmb at all. Until I tell them. Everyone in my class gets Happy Bday songs when its their bday. Me? For nine years I received none. I just want to be well-liked I guess. That's why I keep being a joker. Make pple laugh, release tension. Den wad... Ppl laugh and forget. And den I become transparent again.

If I jump down. No one would have noticed I was gone. Even when I was sick. No one noticed. Like once I fell sick and then went to school nxt day. They were like "You never come school yesterday??" Maybe I shud start being a bad boy. Get into all sorts of trouble. Maybe then pple will start noticing me. Like Tiger. "Aiya, you again!" My parents only care about my results. No one cares about me. Not even God. I think I am just a forgotten file in the system.

This is a poem I thought of last minute.

My teacher used to say to me
You need to have dreams to be somebody
Now I can see
It's all just bullshit
The fear of failing
Keeps us from trying
"We fall to succeed"
It is also bullshit
When we fall
We keep falling
"Hope brings fulfilment"
Get real, it brings disappointment
We leave our mark in the sand
Only to be erased by the coming tide
Almost as soon as we make that stand
Hope not for tomorrow
For tomorrow promises despair

sick and tired of this world.. THere's no more air.. Trippin over myself going nowhere Waiting Suffocating No Direction and I took a dive...

Today was one super boring day. The dreary weather did not help to lighten things up either. Lessons were boring as usual, the first period was taken up by Science Quiz. So boring. Public Speaking was fun though. I talked abt things that I like. And I scored 8/10!! Today the Sec 4 received their O level results. This year my school did quite well. Their results are gonna be tough to beat. Haiz. And den the Sec 4s are made to stay back to watch the whole ceremony, which used up like 3 hours of time. Not that I would be doing much if I went home. I go home den felt SOOOOO bored. Glenn dun wanna play DotA and I had nothing else to do. Den I suffered frm Depression for awhile. Wonder why I never get mania. Always depression. Today didnt even get to cycle. Stuck at home is not my idea of relaxing. Plus tmr have piano lessons. 1 hr ++.. BORRING! And den not to forget A maths hw, Chi hw, EW.. ZzZ.. Enuff to make me feel bored for the weekend. Also, Glenn's internet connection seems to be having some problems. When he host games it is SOOOO laggy. Another thing that "Aided" my depression was I did not manage to land a role in the upcoming musical. Initially I did not care. Wonder why suddenly I care so much. I rather not care. Its making me feel so depressed. I want to talk to someone. But no one to talk to. End up I on my music and sing songs to ease the depression. Sing until I cry. So hug my dog and try to sleep for awhile. After resting felt better, but i was still VERY bored. ABSOLUTELY nothing to do. Today must be my WORST friday EVER. No doubt about it. And this would probably be my WORST weekend EVER. I pray I can struggle through this week. Suddenly the prospect of an upcoming holiday does not seem so happy after all. I might even be happier going to school. Since this year is an all important year, I MUST buck up. Mug up all the topics I lost out on last yr due to laziness. ESP A maths. My A maths is VERY weak. I just dun understand. I do SO much exercises. EVERY one of them VLee gives. I EVEN finish them ON TIME. Dun know anymore. WHy am I so stupid. Why am I so useless. Why am I even born. Why am I made to be tortured. I dun want this anymore. I HATE this life. It is SO freaking USELESS. I am useless. I think this has to do with my lost of dreams. Last time I used to dream every night... Now... I dun even dream anymore. I think my subconcious mind already lost faith in dreams. Dreams are but dreams and are never meant to be made into reality. For those whose dreams indeed become reality. Good for you. And I envy you. I guess I will remain an insignificant person at the bottom of the social ladder. My social ladder has lost all its rungs and I cant climb to the top. Someone pls add them back.... Pls.......

Screwed it. Totally screwed it. Darn, I wanted a role in the musical. Let me recount what happened. We were supposed to read a short paragraph from a script, describe yourself in one word, and then think of a song you wanna sing, and then dance. The worst part, dance. I am an elephant when it comes to dancing. Clumsy, no sense of balance. The reading was my BEST part. Since I just treated it as oral, and my oral is normally v high marks. I topped the class in Sec 1, dunno about Sec 2. But I think I got pretty high for Sec 2 too. The singing. I wanted to sing True Light, but hear Marcus sing My Love, so I sang Loneliness Knows Me By Name. But before that, describe myself in one word. I thought for a full minute, cus I dun rly talk abt myself or even care. End up I said I was Boring. And the director was funny, he said Den how are you going to marry??!! So I simply replied, I dun intend to marry, I wan to be a bachelor. Well, the singing totally sucked. Why? I am in choir and I sucked? Simple, I have a VERY bad sense of keeping my cool. I get freaked out easily. So that guy sitting in front of me assessing me was freaking me out. The song came out all shaky, but WP said I was in tune, + side. Of course I am in tune, I've been singing that song for so long. And I am living that song. NEways, I thought of what I shud haf described myself. Lonely. But I did not think of it. NEways, if i said that, he wlda thought I wanted the role and purposely describe myself like the beast, since he is also lonely. Den he will think I am a hypocrite. Which is actually NOT true. Well, I AM lonely. But nv crossed my mind. Glenn described himself as cheerful. Best description ever. Fitted him exactly. And wen pu said he was a genius. LOL!! Den the Director gave the incredulous look. If only I practise singing On The Way Down by Ryan Cabrera ytd. I wanted to sing that song too, but dun know enuff. Nice song. Den the dance. I had to ask the instructor to repeat it twice cus I cldnt rmb the steps. Den I was SOOOO bad that she asked me to do it 4 times!!! OThers do one time can liao. Me leh, 4 times. Cus I suck v badly. Haish, my hopes of getting a role is dashed. GG. I wish I can do it again.

Loneliness

Left in a world on my own
Only left with a shell
Nothing will ever be shown
Everything vanished as I fell
Light is a thing of the past
Instantly killing my soul
No one there has last
Endless pain and sorrow
Slowly I’m dying
Singing the melody of death.

Nice poem? This is written by my sis. What a poetic genius. Sigh, I wish I was not so lazy and can do more constructive stuff. Actually, this is all I wanna post. Haha.